Author Topic: In the yearrr two thousand  (Read 8518 times)

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Offline King of Twitch

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In the yearrr two thousand
« on: February 11, 2005, 12:00:20 PM »
The other threads are about what needs to happen, what Nintendo needs to do, what Revolution will be like, but this topic is about what you THINK games and the industry will be like 3-5 years from now.

Rules:
- like Conan O' Brien's late night show, you must say "In the yearrr two thousand....in the year two thouSAND" before and after your predictions
- try to be mostly serious.
+ OK it doesn't have to be about games

In the yearrr two thousand....

+ We'll be playing online Pikmin, Mario Kart, Animal Crossing
+ IGN Revolution editors will all leave for other channels
+ Nintendo stores will open up everywhere, selling merchandise, games, etc. Which leads to..
+ A Nintendo theme park opening in Southern California
+ RARE finishes another game
+ DS SP released; more compact and with some kind of a mini-trackball for a joystick
+ "Mariovolution" comes with shoe sensors. Requires the player to jump in real life to get to higher platforms.
+ "Zelda: Hyrulevolution" items such as hookshot and hammer are controlled by real-life add-ons (like the DK bongos), and are selected for use by plugging them into the other controller ports. Thousands of kids are arrested after trying to steal $990 controller-bows.
+ Reggie wins the 2008 Presidential election by sheer strength alone.

+/- Last game announced for PSP; Super Mario Land ported to DS
+/- Xbox 2 comes bundled with Longhorn
+/- PS3 bundle includes missle launching software
+/- Revolution comes with two controllers, one of them wireless; DS is able to wirelessly synch up/connect with it; All Gameboy games playable on it through controller slots

- EA will acquire exclusive rights to every sport and movie
- Madden, Pokemon, and Mario Party will continue to sell hundreds of billions of copies every year
- Metroid Golf, Metroid Baseball, and Metroid Football, and Metroid Croquet are released
- More and more small developers get eaten up; games take longer to make because of high dev costs


....in the year two thouSAND  
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Offline Ian Sane

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RE: In the yearrr two thousand
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2005, 12:33:48 PM »
In the yearrr two thousand....

- Nintendo will continue to release 95% franchise games with the same dumb commercials and will come so some inane conclusion that makes no sense on why their market share keeps shrinking.
- Nintendo will remain offline and debates on the online issue will continue on Nintendo message boards with both sides providing the exact same arguements as before.  Only this time Ian Sane is against online and Bill is for it.
- EA will have a tight stranglehold on the US market.  As a result gaming will be considerably more boring and the industry will be on the verge of a crash.
- GTA and Halo will be minor franchises while something brand new that no one thought would be big will be the highest selling game around.  Naturally it will appear on all consoles but the Revolution.
- Several people will have replaced defective PSPs and PS2s yet still have no ill will towards Sony.
- The NHL will finally start to recover from the infamous lock-out.  Vancouver will still have never won a Stanley Cup.
- People who bought brand new Chrystlers today will be trading in a beat up pieces of crap that cost them thousands in repairs.  They will then buy another crappy car solely because it has TWO spoilers.
- The newest season of 24 will start with a cliffhanger episode... only to have the cliffhanger solved within the first five minutes of the next episode.
- Ian Sane will be very rich or working at the same job for the same wage waking up each morning wishing he would die.  It's hard to tell.
- The music industry will be incredibly successful due to some really great bands shaking things up.  This new era of music will crumble in a few years due to the original bands breaking up and the record companies will return to blaming piracy for poor sales of boring music.
- The WWE will be on the verge of bankruptcy and will be performing in high school gyms in front of crowds of less than 100 people.  HHH will remain the focus of the show.
- The Simpsons will still be on the air and will have no resemblance to the classic era of the show and will provide no laughs whatsoever.  Fans will still watch it anyways.
- George W. Bush will not be President of the US anymore.
- Paul Martin however will still be Prime Minister of Canada despite having killed someone in cold blood live on national television.
- Tatoos won't be cool anymore and I will take pleasure in ridiculing a lot of people.
- Pepsi will release the New Pepsi and it will be bomb despite tasting so much better than the original Pepsi that it causes instant orgasms.
- The Rolling Stones will still be touring.
- Bono will still think he's cool.

....in the year two thouSAND  

Offline Artimus

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RE: In the yearrr two thousand
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2005, 12:44:10 PM »
Two thousand and what?

Offline ThePerm

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RE: In the yearrr two thousand
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2005, 02:24:13 PM »
2000 its like so in the future
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Offline ruby_onix

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RE: In the yearrr two thousand
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2005, 02:34:37 PM »
Quote

Two thousand and what?

It's a joke from the Conan O'Brien show. They used to do this thing where they would predict what life would be like "in the year 2000", as if it was some faraway, distant era, where we'd have flying cars and whatnot. Then 2000 got closer and closer, and they kept doing it.

Now we're well past 2000, and they're still doing it.
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Offline KDR_11k

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RE: In the yearrr two thousand
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2005, 08:42:51 PM »
#include <jokes/bad/conanobrien.h>

- Humanity is slowly recovering from the nuclear fallout. Nobody cares about videogames, TV or music anymore, survival is their primary concern. And now, for something completely different:

- Nintendo's "Revolution" system will again be ignored by the media despite no serious shortcomings and dozens of great titles.
- Microsoft is reigning supreme in the console arena after Sony's eccentric console design leads to games that barely utilize the console's power and crash often, making the Xenon's graphics seem superior despite the PS3 being capable of more.
- Microsoft is furthering their total convergence/control scheme by integrating the Xenon into their home media system plans. It will be the cheapest way to get a base unit for the Microsoft (R) Home (R) 2009 and pretty much the only affordable one that can interface with your Microsoft (R) Windows (R) NeXT (R). Everybody owns one despite superior alternatives and few actually use it for games.
(- Xenon creates a decentralized AI that then proceeds to wipe those human ressource hogs off the face of the Earth. Only one spacefighter is left that can go against all odds, destroy Xenon and save mankind)
- The PSP is just another bootnote (to Appendix D: Other Handhelds) in the history of handheld gaming.
- The new revision of Wikipedia will define the marketing division of the Sony Cybernetics Corporation as "a bunch of mindless jerks who were the first against the wall when the Revolution came".
- Sony presents their newest evolution of their robots, looking disturbingly similar to real humans. Nobody but the geeks cares as the price is still on the other side of funny.
(- Xenon integrates these new robots into its armies, to infiltrate human organizations and take control of the world in a completely legal way. Until some lawyer realizes that robots aren't allowed to become president, which forces Xenon to retreat to plan B, use weapons of mass destruction to annihilate humanity.)
(- Aliens from Beteigeuze attempt to conquer earth but are completely vaporized in a fire exchange between the United Terran Space Corps and the Xenon armies.)

Offline Caillan

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RE:In the yearrr two thousand
« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2005, 11:51:09 PM »
In the year two thousand... (I naturally roll my 'R's because my accent, so one is enough here)

These are just random thoughts, not serious predictions. It's kinda fun rambling endlessly.

- All three major consoles experience sales below expectations, though they all possess enough market share to be considered important. Sony loses market share to both competitors, but remains industry leader. Expensive hardware and expensive software have hurt console sales, especially among teenagers. Many of the 8-bit gamers leave console gaming.

- The Gamecube overtakes the XBox at the end of this generation. The new Zelda game has a strong advertising campain, which see sales boosted in Europe, Australia and particuarly North America. The media love it and it is compared with Ocarina of Time in terms of quality. It wins GoTY in most major award ceremonies, even ones like TechTV's.

- No successor to the Gameboy is announced as Nintendo realise they cannot simultaniously develop a strong library for three systems.

- Initially Microsoft's market share increases dramatically with the launch of the XBox 2, but it's sales subside as a the generation continues. Microsoft will attempt to cut a deal with EA ensuring exclusivity only to have it overthrown in court. Microsoft continues to suffer from a pathetic market share in Japan, despite the media's obvious bias. the XBox 2 is completely dominant in Australia and New Zealand.

- Halo and GTA games are launched early in the generation. Both are exclusvely on the XBox 2, but seel poorly after bad reviews.

- Microsoft attempts to push its 'Home Entertainment Network.' This connects a Longhorn PC to the XBox 2 which comes bundled with a TVo equivilent. Microsoft's software in theory allows users to download shows from a subscription service and watch them on their TV. The required cabling and Longhorn's tendency to crash hurts initial sales. Huge security flaws emerge and users are submitted to pornographic popups on their TVs. Many subscriptions are cancelled and the service eventually flops.

- Online gaming isn't popular among console gamers, but it still considered the Next Big Thing by the media. The Revolution's built-in online service is more successful becasue it requires nothing more than broadband and an extra cable.

- The PS3 launches well in all areas with a wide variety of third party launch titles. Sales in Japan eclipse those in America and most major third parties offer support for the system. Initial sales in Europe and Australia meet expections but once the hype subsides the PS3 struggles.

- IGN, Gamespy and most of the mainstream media dismiss the Revolution before launch. What is seen as a 'gimmicky' feature is mocked. As more details come through, however, it is praised for a strong library of games at launch: an original game by Retro and a game developed by EAD. Sega also provides a Sonic game that sucks and gets ported to the XBox 2.

- In Japan the Revolution sells very well, but it doesn't reach sales expectation in America. Nintendo blame the XBox 2. A strong advertising campain and a second title from EAD, however, see its sales increase over the next few months. EAD's new game is a disappointment to gamers but advertising once again sees it sell well.

- Games published by Nintendo decline in sales as their franchises lose popularity. A year after launch Nintendo realise this and discontinue development of all franchise games except their current Zelda title.

- Nintendo organizes second and third parties to develop several original franchises for the Revolution. Many sell well. Namco have financial difficulties and Nintendo invests in them, making their relationship even closer.

- Nintendo's marketing becomes successful and Reggie's fame continues to grow. He is featured as a secret character in the Smash Bros. game.

- Nintendo take over Camleot and force them to make a baseball game set in the Metroid universe. It's a suitable theme because Samus can turn into a ball.

- The PSP and DS are battling as the SNES and Genesis did. The DS suffers from poor sales of multiplatform games which are ported to a smaller screen and don't use the touch screen. The DS has several popular third party games that cannot be ported to the PSP, and is popular among adults and children.

- EA continues to absorb smaller companies rapidly. The EU declares them anti-competitive and protects European developers. In America employees flee and many small studios are set up by former employees. Most of them fail financially and EA re-employee them at lower wages.

- The massive media congomerate Penny-Arcade aggressively takes over IGN and Gamespy, only to have them completely obliterated. Gamers rejoice.

- Unexpectidly, South Korea becase a gaming power. Established and talented studios developing games for the PC begin translating their games to English. Many are hired by Sony and Nintendo to develop for their systems, even though they do not retail in Korea.

...in the year two thouSand (my accent mostly takes care of the emphasis as well.)  

Offline Stilletto

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RE:In the yearrr two thousand
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2005, 05:24:10 PM »
In the year two thousand.....

  Nintendo is in financial  trouble and is spitting out mario titles faster then EA does sports games. The Metroid franchise has collapsed and falls into ruin.

   Microsoft easily rivals Sony in the medias eyes and the publics, several months later they overtake Sony as market leader.

   Nintendo's idiotic buisness and hard headed buisness cause them to become a niche company, supported only by fanboys and liquor.

   Online gaming which saw a birth and rapid increase in popularity during this generation have become staples of gaming and all games are able to log online to play with other people from around the world.

   With Microsoft turning a profit on Xbox 2 and Xbox live they buy out Sony's  third party devolpers such as Rockstar and Square both of which are not controlled by Sony.

   PCs and the living room become fully connected allowing you to Dl Mp3s and movies to your Xbox 2 or Ps3 right from your Pc or the net.

   Despite hefty initial price the PSP sells very well and although does not knockout Nintendo carves a very nice slive of pie for itself out of the handheld market, Nintendo fans worried about Sonys next handheld.

  Reggie falls in noble battle defeding the borders of Nintendiom from the foreign invaders, he is given a heros burial and will never be forgotton.

   The next day Reggie is raised as an undead zombie loyal to Sony and goes off to work on Final Fantasy 34.  

Offline PaLaDiN

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RE: In the yearrr two thousand
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2005, 06:45:39 PM »
In the yearrr two thousand....

The Revolution will be seen as gimmicky by everybody except the people playing it.

Nintendo will be fourth, driven from third place by a new competitor.

People will now prophesy that there is only enough room in the market for three consoles and therefore Nintendo will die.

Nintendo continues to make a profit and leaked webcam footage shows employees laughing at internet rumors as they swim in cash.

Nintendo will make great games that are released to remarkable critical acclaim and yet sell horribly.

There will be only five publishers in the industry: Nintendo, EA, Sony, Microsoft and the new console's makers.

All developers will jump on the online bandwagon.

People will wonder why games are starting to suck.

Paladin will be killed after saying "I told you so" one time too many.

....in the year two thouSAND  
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Offline Hostile Creation

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RE: In the yearrr two thousand
« Reply #9 on: February 14, 2005, 08:03:19 PM »
In the yearrr two thousand. . .

The Nintendo Revolution will produce awesomeness in its raw energy form.  It's a smash hit, as is the Xbox successor, which goes transformers and turns into powerful robot soldiers.  Reggie and Nintendo fanboys, using awesomeness ray-guns, wage war against the Microsoft soldiers.  Reggie is victorious, but almost all of humanity is killed.  Everyone forgets Sony.  EA buys the rights to water in the post-apocalyptic world.

. . . in the year two thouSAND.
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Offline nemo_83

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RE:In the yearrr two thousand
« Reply #10 on: February 15, 2005, 11:13:33 AM »
in the year twooooo thouSAND...

Nintendo and Sony will be paraded through the streets of Washington on anti trust law pikes up their buttholes when it is revealed that Nintendo owns the name Playstation and Sony has cooperated with them for years driving up profits for both companies in a mock war intended to push Sega and any other comapnies that might step up to the plate like MS out of the way so they can have the industry to themselves, secretly.

Nintendo will release a new Mario Bros. game that is pumped up on nostalgia and platforming in a strategy similar to how Coke changed their softdrink's formula temporarily to drive up an interest in the "return" of Coca Cola Classic, the original formula.

Al Gore will win the presidency of the United States...

in the year two thouSAND.
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Offline vudu

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RE: In the yearrr two thousand
« Reply #11 on: February 15, 2005, 11:56:09 AM »
In the yearrr two thousand....

Too Human will come out for all next gen consoles.  It will be alright.

....in the year two thouSAND
Why must all things be so bright? Why can things not appear only in hues of brown! I am so serious about this! Dull colors are the future! The next generation! I will never accept a world with such bright colors! It is far too childish! I will rage against your cheery palette with my last breath!

Offline Karl Castaneda #2

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RE: In the yearrr two thousand
« Reply #12 on: March 06, 2005, 04:12:27 PM »
The yearrrr two thosand...

- StarCraft Ghost will be released... for the Game Boy Color.

- Fuscia Link will move to San Francisco with Slippy Toad to live in a loft. In a related story, Tycho from Penny Arcade takes over for Ms. Cleo.

- SNK will publicly call out Capcom and propose that the eternal war between Street Fighter and King of Fighters heat up again. Capcom will look up briefly and get back to developing Resident Evil 5.

In the year two thoSAND...
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Offline Deguello

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RE: In the yearrr two thousand
« Reply #13 on: March 06, 2005, 10:38:13 PM »
In the yearrrr two thousand...

-All those games that have online modes will become completely useless and retroactively hated.  People will pretend they never existed.

-The destruction of Sega comes full circle when Sammy dumps them after a failed attempt to revive arcades.

-Tactical Squad-Based Squad Squady Squad games will decline in popularity, due to the Anti-War sentiment.

-Discrimination against the 56k-using "slowbanders" will heat up across the internet with the introduction of the SpeedChek(tm) verification system.

-Satoru Iwata's precition of graphics declining in importance proves true.

-Those who claim Nintendo releases nothing but franchise characters and yet whose most aniticpated DS title is a direct sequel to Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow will find the association levels of their cerebrum straining under the pressure of such a paradox and will find the nearest baseball bat and beat themselves about the face and neck until they being to hemmhorage.

In the yearrrr two thousand...

-I will wonder why people who extol the greatness of online games on message boards are not playing these "online games" I keep hearing so much about.

-MMORPGs will be banned under the Humans With Sanity Act of 2007.  Those found with Portable MMORPGs sent to various asylums.

-Blu-Ray will fail, thus ensuring Sony the spot opposite of Howard Stern as the King of all Failed Media.

-Some casuals will stop buying Madden when the game doesn't change enough.  The rest will stop playing video games once BattleBars shows up (I dunno, whatever the next fad for them is)  
It's time you saw the future while you still have human eyes.

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Offline KDR_11k

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RE: In the yearrr two thousand
« Reply #14 on: March 06, 2005, 11:46:03 PM »
Y'know, back in my day we called this "BattleBars" stuff "Pong" and didn't need any flashy graphics to be bored to tears by it!

Offline lil_d934

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RE:In the yearrr two thousand
« Reply #15 on: March 26, 2005, 12:39:05 AM »
in the yearrrrr  two thousand:

- infinium lab's Phantom fails horribly due to the lack of thrid party support and the fact that everyone who WANTS to pay for online gaming has already signed up with XBox live

- Nintendo will come out with a new technology that Sony will inevitably buy out or steal from them (at the same time, giving them the bird) and make THAT a crappy quality product that people will still go out and buy another one after being told the problem is not covered in the warranty

- Nintendo pulls a "Sony" and buys the rights for Resident Evil, making it the best business comback since sony stole their SNES CD.

- Resident Evil 2 is COMPLETELY remade (had to throw that in there for a friend)

- Rockstar will try to continue to bring new eliments to their GTA game, including the distribution of crack to youngsters, and pissing on cop cars

- the Writer for the Resident Evil movies will be slapped... infinitely

- People will finally stop saying "I'm <their name here>, b!tch!!"

in the yearrrr two thousand
Im not a nintendo fanboy, I just can NOT stand Microsoft and Sony. Why? Sony dont last you crap, and Xboxs are made in Mexico, and take it from a Mexican, you dont want anything made there

Offline IceCold

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RE:In the yearrr two thousand
« Reply #16 on: April 02, 2005, 10:00:29 PM »
Quote

Originally posted by: Ian Sane
In the yearrr two thousand....

- The NHL will finally start to recover from the infamous lock-out.  Vancouver will still have never won a Stanley Cup.
You bastard Ian ...and the Vancouver Millionaires won one way back when (1915) so THERE    lol (for anyone who doesn't know, my avatar is of the Vancouver Canucks).  
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Offline kurst_chao3033

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RE: In the yearrr two thousand
« Reply #17 on: April 04, 2005, 07:51:26 PM »
Simple.


In the yearrrrrr twwoooothousand....

Nuclear war, human extinction, apocaplypse. Hmm, I can't really see anything else.

....In the yearrrrrr twwoooothousand
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Offline Savior

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RE:In the yearrr two thousand
« Reply #18 on: April 04, 2005, 08:56:11 PM »
In the year twooo thousand.

Pokemon Revolution MMORPG is an incredible succes

The Xbox 2 Will have incredible launch software, sell out incredibly then suffer an incredible shortage cutting their momentum. All of the japanese developers start porting Xbox 2 software to PS3 and Revolution.

The GBE, Game Boy Evolution is released 6 months after the Revolution. Containing a Hard Drive, Wifi, and backwards compatibility with the Gamecube. By the time its released the PSP is the market leader in the handheld market by a slight and small margin. Thanks to GTA PSP, a Price Cut, and Sony restrocturing the target audience away from the iPod crowd and into the gaming crowd

The Revolution isnt so revolutionary. It makes a better stand against the Sony PS3 though. Clearly winning seccond place.

Either Hideo Kojima or Shinji Mikami will join Nintendo. Nintendo will create a new development team in Japan, devoted to "adult games" but the same time keeping the current developers to allow software development

The Best Game on the Revolution will infact be Star Tropics Revolution Not Zelda Revolution, Metroid Prime 3 or Mario 128

In the yearrr two thousand
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