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Messages - Urkel

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1
TalkBack / Re: Iwata's Approval Rating Up, Miyamoto's Down
« on: July 05, 2014, 01:54:07 AM »
I think suggesting that only Iwata can keep Nintendo from getting worse is a lame cop out.  No one who wants him gone is suggesting to replace him with an idiot who will run Nintendo into the ground. Obviously I want him replaced with someone good.

You might not want to hear this, but he's pretty much the only good one there is. No, seriously. Take a look at all the kneejerk dumbshit decisions that the rest of the game industry makes. Every last one of them is either trying to get "CoD-like sales", or is chasing the Mobile unicorn. How many of these people running these game companies actually know anything about videogames? Hell, how many of them have even played a videogame.

I see no reason to have any faith whatsoever that a potential replacement would be better than any other gaming CEO.

But none of this matters, anyway. He's not getting fired, he's not stepping down. The #FireIwata dream is dead.

2
Shale Jokes / Re: Breaking: Iwata FIRED as head of NCL
« on: July 05, 2014, 01:32:52 AM »
I was hoping this topic was going to stay in the Console Discussion Forum just long enough for the usual suspects to see it.

You know, so they'd get a raging erection at the thread title, then the crushing disappointment when they realize that the only competent CEO in the entire videogame industry actually gets to keep his job.

3
Shale Jokes / Re: The Wii U perma-ban wager
« on: July 01, 2014, 10:56:13 PM »
How come this never went anywhere?

4
Shale Jokes / Breaking: Iwata FIRED as head of NCL
« on: July 01, 2014, 10:10:12 PM »
APRIL FOOLS!

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5
TalkBack / Re: Mario Kart 8 Review
« on: May 15, 2014, 03:08:27 AM »
  • No unlockable kart skins
  • No online
  • No gay marriage

7.9

6
Nintendo Gaming / Re: Super Mario 3D World
« on: November 25, 2013, 01:25:18 AM »
It seems like a step DOWN from Super Mario Galaxy and I don't buy new videogame systems to go backwards.  Now it might be Super Mario 3D Land's status as a handheld title that makes this seem more minor than it really is.  Typically the consoles set the template, not the handhelds.

This just seems too conventional and too safe and that is NOT how 3D Mario rolls.  The 3D Mario series was the cutting edge of 3D platformers, setting the new standards that the rest of the genre would follow.

Luigi Dude mentions that no one should be surprised by this.  I'm not, but I'm still disappointed.  I'm just not interested in safe cookie-cutter EA-esque Nintendo.  I didn't become a Nintendo fan for this.  And I'll argue that this won't do dick for sales because the Wii U isn't offering anything new.  So it's the same old **** but now with graphics that were cutting edge in 2006?  I don't see a market for that.  NSMB U hasn't moved Wii Us so I don't see how other generic cookie-cutter Nintendo sequels will.  NSMB has been the ultimate cash cow for Nintendo and on the Wii U nobody gives a ****.
LOLOLOLOLOLOL
Deep down Super Mario 3D Land is Bug! for the Saturn.
YOU'VE NEVER EVEN PLAYED THE GAME, YOU TOOL

7
NWR Feedback / Re: Real Talk: Public Moderation System?
« on: November 25, 2013, 01:18:29 AM »
This place has moderators?

8
TalkBack / Re: Super Mario 3D World Review
« on: November 20, 2013, 01:31:52 PM »
Lazy 3DS port.
No online.
No unlockable skins.
7.9

9
TalkBack / Re: The Wonderful 101 Originally Featured Nintendo Characters
« on: August 22, 2013, 06:27:15 PM »
ian stahp
10 years of this forum condensed in to a single post.

10
Shale Jokes / Re: Iwata Direct (caption competition)
« on: August 10, 2013, 02:56:41 AM »
fire iwata

11
#TeamFireIwata

12
Adam Sessler is BALD.
 
His opinion doesn't matter.

13
TalkBack / Re: EarthBound Listed to Appear on the Wii U eShop Today
« on: July 30, 2013, 01:35:24 PM »
$10!?!?!?
For a videogame????
In 2013 AD?????????????????
What the ****, Nintendo???????????
WHAT THE FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKashfpvnpaovmpanv

15
Shale Jokes / Re: Would you let Reggie fart on you?
« on: April 16, 2013, 11:26:49 AM »
YOU'RE WELCOME

16
Nintendo Gaming / Re: What will you do with your Wii after you buy a Wii U?
« on: September 06, 2012, 04:51:10 PM »
I'm leaving my Wii right where every self-respecting gamer put it; in the closet.

17
Shale Jokes / Re: Hey, BAKAS! The Mario Sunshine commercial was awesome.
« on: August 11, 2012, 07:12:09 PM »
This seems highly relevant.
 

 
I WAS BORN IN 1995 AND THIS AD IS TERRIBLE

18
TalkBack / Re: Mario Isn't Missing
« on: August 11, 2012, 03:12:56 PM »
As a first party, it's unfortunately Nintendo's burden alone to ensure the health of their platforms. That means releasing software that not only sells, but sells hardware as well. And Mario does just that.
 
As much as people like to talk up Sony's willingness to create new IPs, at the end of the day it doesn't do much to sell systems. Sony may be making new IPs like Gravity Rush for Vita, but it's not selling Vitas. And that will ultimately lead to less third party support, and possibly even the death of the platform.
 
Nintendo turned 3DS sales around with Mario, creating a healthy platform that (Japanese) developers are willing to support. So because Nintendo is "milking" Mario, you're getting a more diverse software library because the system will actually, you know, EXIST. The only reason Nintendo is releasing two Mario games so close together is to make sure it stays that way.
 
And this whole obssession with new IPs is stupid since it means that games like Kid Icarus Uprising "don't count" because it uses a few characters from a 25 year old game. The fact that it's a big budget "core" production with new content and fresh gameplay unlike anything Nintendo has ever made gets dismissed because of this.

19
TalkBack / Re: Mario Isn't Missing
« on: August 11, 2012, 02:05:25 PM »
I see Lindemann is still being Lindemann.
 
"Xenoblade doesn't count. It's not by EAD."

20
Shale Jokes / Hey, BAKAS! The Mario Sunshine commercial was awesome.
« on: August 08, 2012, 08:31:20 PM »
First, here's the much (unfairly) maligned commercial in question:
"DERRR HERRR HERRR! IT'S KIDDY OMG FUCKING NINTENDO CASUAL BABY SYSTEM PURPLE LUNCHBOX!"
No.
It's actually a parody of the anti-pollution Public Service Announcements that ran from the 70's all the way into the early 90's. Specifically, the Woodsy the Owl PSAs.
 
Proof:

Well holy **** look at that! It matches up nearly 1:1 with the Mario commercial. Who'da guessed? Well, anybody that was actually, y'know old enough to remember these commecials. You know, the same sort of people that claim to be "too old" for Nintendo.
 
Of course, even if you aren't old enough to remember these commercials, your still a goddamn moron if you took the Mario commercial at face value.

21
TalkBack / Re: Circle Pad Pro Heading to Gamestop Exclusively
« on: December 13, 2011, 06:39:47 PM »
Really, I think this is an indication that Nintendo doesn't intend for it to be widely used, and lends more credence to the idea that they just slapped it together because Capcom wanted it for Monster Hunter

Correct. This is all the proof you need that a second slide pad wont be included whenever they end up releasing a revision. I mean, if you really believe every word of that 01.net story, Nintendo supposedly believes that the lack of a second analog stick was the reason for the lackluster 3DS sales. Does this look like they're desperate to get this addon into every 3DS owner's hands? It was made just for Monster Hunter, just like the Classic Controller Pro was made just for Monster Hunter.
 
So it's twice the anticipated price AND it can only be purchased at GameStop?  Way to go Nintendo.  Morons.

It's good to see that this forum is becoming a refuge for GoHobo rejects.

22
I never approved of the New Play Control series, anyway.
 
It just gave people a second chance to play awesome games that they didn't deserve. If you ignored Pikmin 2 the first time around, you're not a gamer.

24
Nintendo Gaming / Re: Rhythm Heaven Fever (AKA Wii is not dead..yet)
« on: December 02, 2011, 01:56:21 AM »
This forum gets dumber each time I visit it.
 
EDIT: Not that I'm saying there's some cause and effect there.

25
General Gaming / Re: PlayStation Vita (PS Vita) - previously known as NGP
« on: November 30, 2011, 01:42:53 AM »
ONE HUNDRED AND NINETEEN YOU ESS DOLLARS
 
IT'S RIIIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER with three tracks and five cars

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