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« on: August 31, 2023, 12:47:47 PM »
I recently saw The Flash on some streaming platform. It wasn't TV or HBO, but I can't remember what it was, and there's no way to tell. Spoilers ahead.
Anyway, this movie was bad. Ezra Miller (even if we put their issues aside) plays a pretty insufferable version of Barry Allen. We then get stuck with an even more insufferable version of his character, who I'll call Alt-Barry. Alt-Barry got to live with both his parents, so he was never motivated to learn science and is a reasonably immature 18-year-old.
I don't want to talk too much about the opening action scene. It's so much CGI, and it's just hats on hats. The whole movie is just a hat on a hat on a hat when it comes to most things. But they establish early on that Barry is constantly hungry and needs to maintain a calorie load, but it just doesn't seem to come up in the ending where there are two of them, and they're just ripping and running at max speed the whole time.
The film seemed to want to showcase Barry's maturity and experience being a hero by having Barry lose his powers and Alt-Barry gain them, setting up a forced mentorship scenario. This allows the film to highlight how annoying Alt-Barry can be. But one thing that stood out to me was the scene where Barry tries to phase through a wall by just walking right into it and then poking it, only to realize he doesn't have his powers. It didn't seem like he understood how that worked AT ALL, but he's later able to explain exactly how it works.
The scene of Barry getting his powers back was also just a slog. The first lightning strike almost killed him, but then Supergirl carries him into the sky, which somehow works. I don't understand what the difference was supposed to be.
The ending gave me mixed feelings. Ultimately, Barry ends up doing the obvious thing he should've done from the beginning. It was weird that his dad seemed to put on a whole-ass disguise to buy some tomatoes, but I could roll with that. His getting that one convo with his mom was also a bit ham-fisted. Seeing George Clooney made me laugh, but I saw a video where the ending was meant to be ambiguous and allow for this Flash to segue into the new DCEU. But I guess this character is just stuck in this alternate timeline forever (and Aquaman is also there).
I'll just rattle off a few other things I didn't like. Barry has to slow down and concentrate to activate his powers. They show a real-time pause when some onlookers catch him "charging up," which I thought was weird. There's no reason for Barry to be late to anything. That's a tired Superhero trope that just doesn't fit a fast enough character to run backward through time. Especially if he can save a collapsing hospital, have a conversation with strangers, have another conversation with Batman and Wonder Woman, and make it back in time for his sandwich to be done. During the final fight, Alt-Bary asks if he can go back in time, but regular Barry says he shouldn't be fast enough yet. That was a good explanation, but Alt-Barry just said, "lol, watch me." The contrast of the blue and orange lightning colors made filming sense, but there was no story reason for the two to have different lightning colors. It's bizarre that Barry didn't go straight to Bruce's house when he needed help and instead Googled every other Justice League member first.
There was a good movie in there somewhere. I think Barry learns a good lesson about changing the past by watching Alt-Barry slowly corrupt himself. That's a good use of the multiverse trope; the pointless emphasis on Superman overshadows it. Steven Universe did this whole story in about 11 minutes. There is also a good showcase of classic Flash stuff, like the tiny suit in the ring and him making a tornado, which I found fun.
That's way too many words for something I didn't like. 4/10
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