Guess what, guys! It is now confirmed, the mobile defibrillators at my work are (thankfully) operational!
I got to find out when UncleBob sent out a text message with a picture and a freaking loud and unexpected "whoooohoooo" shot out of my phone and forced me into cardiac arrest.
A few zaps of electricity to the "heartal area", and I'm back in the game. What a day!