Author Topic: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)  (Read 15662 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline broodwars

  • Hunting for a Pineapple Salad
  • Score: -1011
    • View Profile
Re: IGNorant assumption of NSMBW's review score
« Reply #25 on: October 22, 2009, 03:25:16 AM »
Wii Music media reviews are automatically null since playing SIMPLE MUSIC is too much for non-casual reviewers to handle.

Actually, the problem reviewers had with the musical selection in Wii Music isn't that it was simple, but that it was shitty.  A bunch of public domain music and a couple actual Nintendo songs in a Nintendo game?  Seriously?
There was a Signature here. It's gone now.

Offline that Baby guy

  • He's a real Ei-Ei-Poo!
  • Score: 379
    • View Profile
Re: IGNorant assumption of NSMBW's review score
« Reply #26 on: October 22, 2009, 05:55:50 AM »
New Super Mario Bros. Wii
Review (North America)
By Jason Ross, Forum Member

New Super Mario Bros. Wii is the Newest Super Mario Experience Yet!

Nintendo's bold move is sure to impress those who are new to the Super Mario Bros. gang.  Will it impress you?

New Super Mario Bros. Wii (NSMBWii) is Nintendo's perfect elixir to anyone who hasn't played a video game in sixteen years.  Indeed, the title comes with jam-packed with all the features, stages, enemies, items, and fun that you remember from Mario games of yesteryear, and delivers even more to the table by tying it all together with an overwhelming multiplayer system.  If you're looking for a platformer with lots of creativity, challenge, and originality, but top-notch and simple controls, this could be the game for you!

NSMBWii reminds us of a time when games were simpler.  Unfortunately, once the nostalgia passes, you realize, despite everything new to the table, the amalgamation of the things we loved in '93, along with new ideas, like penguin suits, would just be a little too dated for modern gamers.  To begin, while the game is rendered in 3D, movement is locked on a confined path, similar to other Wii games, like Ghost Squad and other light-gun style games.  The difference, though, is that the gamer controls when they move, but overall, the experiences are very similar.  Stages take advantage and manipulate the linear design by hiding alternate routes in pipes or even textures.  It's a clever concept, but it executes poorly: Often, in order to get the most out of a stage, I had go back to it, choose it, and take an alternate pathway, even branching to a different end in order to clear it.  What's most unfortunate about this execution is that gamers won't get the full game's experience in one run-through.  It's almost as if Nintendo decided to hand us half a game!

While the game offers stunning digital precision, I often found myself attempting to aim the fireballs I'd throw with the 1 and 2 buttons, resulting in imprecise jumping and running speeds.  Given the number of enemies and pits on screen at once, I'd even lose lives due to this type of error.  I can't help but feel this is the fault of the Wii Remote and it's lack of analog control inputs.  Many gamers will find themselves questioning how other consoles could optimize the controls.  Free, simple analog control of Mario's movement and speed with one stick, while control over where he faces with the other would have been optimal, and much more simple.  Had jumps and fireballs been mapped to shoulder buttons, I'd fee much more at home.  However, with NSMBWii, movement is limited to the D-pad, and since there's so few buttons, throwing fireballs AND running were mapped to the same button!  Furthermore, the Nintendo has hashed in motion controls once again!  In a rather uninspired and lackluster presentation, Mario can pick up his friends and chuck them around the screen by shaking the Wii Remote.  It's needless to say execution of the motion is difficult at best, rendering the technique unusable and impractical at best.

NSMBWii's story is lacking even basic necessities, and where it tries, it's filled with plotholes.  In a nutshell, a princess is captured by several bipedal turtles, and so two plumbers and two guys with funky hats set out to save her.  I understand the princess aspect, certainly, but one thing I've never been clear about in the Mario franchise is the dependence on plumbers.  I can't see how any gamer would choose to play as a plumber over a knight, a prince, a magician, or something similar.  I expected to learn about why there were bi-pedal turtles (The game calls them the Koopa Kids), and why the citizens of the mushroom kingdom all wear such odd clothing, as well as some backstory to how mushrooms can grant instant growth or flowers can provide the ability to throw fire and ice.  Instead, no explanation is given, and the gamer is expected to ponder such things on his own.  If anything else, this shows how Nintendo has failed to develop story and plotlines since the sixteen bit era.  We're never even treated to a hint of where the Koopa Kids came from!  What story is present is clearly black and white, with no sense of drama or urgency on either side.  If you even turned on any other game in the past month, you've probably experienced better story than this.

Each area to the game is themed, but some stages branch away from the theme, taking place in abandoned houses, underwater, or in a castle/tower.  You'll find the music in the themed areas fits the game well, but there simply aren't enough tracks.  A stage with mushroom-based platforms in the first area has the same music as one in the fifth area.  All abandoned ghost houses have the same music, and subsequently lose much individuality.  Boss fights have their own songs.  Oddly enough, when you move from area to area, sound effects rarely are altered.  Mario's jump consistently makes the same noise, as well as powering up and stomping on enemies.  No effort was made to even capture the acoustic inside, aside from a small amount of echo.  While the surface Mario runs on does effect the running sound, at no point did it sound like he was running on anything real, but at least we've had an update from the last main, linear, console Mario title, where there was no running sound at all.

Perhaps what surprises me the most is Nintendo's admission to control and stage design flaws:  When you die eight times on one stage, at the beginning of the stage a switch appears, and Nintendo literally takes control of the game away from you.  It's literally like buying a game to play, and then just watching as an older brother yanks the controller from you after you struggle a little bit at one point.  Sure, things begin very basically, but by the second or third area, stages were much more difficult, and I found myself forced to just watch as big brother would steal the controls, beat the stage, hand the control back to me, and then yank them away on the next one.  On some stages, I grew so frustrated with the controls that I found myself intentionally dying, just to let the game play with itself for me, so I could move on.  To make matters worse, when you're not in control, you're forced to just watch Luigi (The game uses Luigi to do it instead of Mario, for further embarrassment...) skip over any alternate paths you might notice.  You could take control back from the game and travel the alternate route, but to be frank, once you do that, you're dead in the water, just waiting for a problem to arise.

From what I understand, the game truly shines in multiplayer.  At the time of press, I've been unable to experience multiplayer, as the game doesn't have any built in AI, nor does it offer an online mode. Unless you know several people who are interested in mid-90's style video games, you probably won't get a chance to experience it, either.  I suppose I'd have struggled with the matter anyways, since a lack of online means I won't have to trudge through friend-codes and Nintendo's poor online service, but still, I'd have enjoyed even just knowing the option is there.

To sum it up, Nintendo's brought in hordes of originality and mashed it with clever dashes of nostalgia, but despite all the memories, it reminds me of how it's a good thing video games have "Grown Up" since Super Mario World.  The entry might be a hit if you still enjoy Super Mario Bros. or one of the series other classic entries, but a modern gamer will likely find the title outdated and flawed.  Perhaps if the game fit modern standards, it would leave a more lasting mark, but as it is now, it's use is solely to take a hazy stroll down memory lane, even bringing me to question my taste as a new gamer back in the day.  New Super Mario Bros. Wii retails at $50, but if you're interested, I'd wait until it hits the bargain bin in two or three months, and pick it up for $20, maybe a little less.

Pros
-The game only utilizes the Wii Remote, so there's no random accessory of the week involved.
-Brings back old characters, and mixes them with new environments, enemies, friends, and items.
-Super Guide system can get you through all the tricky parts so you can finish the game.

Cons
-Unfortunately, the game doesn't allow use of the classic controller for more accurate control.
-No "real" story effort was made to make sense from the nostalgia.
-The game snatches control away from you constantly... What's the point of playing?
-Lacks online modes
-Features remixes of classic music, but not the original

Graphics: 6.0  Nearly everything old seems to be ripped from the DS version, and it shows.  New pieces of game art and models have clearly been scaled back to match this.  Looks good for a Wii title, but I wasn't impressed.

Sound: 4.0  The game features new remixes, but nothing was orchestrated.  Additionally, there were new songs to match new areas and stages.  Music was reused in nearly all stages of similar setting, though, making parts unmemorable.

Control: 2.0  Digital control is precise, but analog control would've been much better.  Due to difficulties with fireballs and running, accidental suicide often occurs.  Shoe-horned motion controls also attribute to the low score; they were virtually unusable.

Gameplay: 3.0  The game would've been much better had I a chance to play it!  The Super Guide feature and control issues remove much of the experience from the gamer, and would've been better fit left out.

Lastability: 5.0 Since the stages have alternate routes, I bumped up the score a little bit.  The branching paths are really more of an alternate to the normal ones, though.  Once you've beaten the game, it's pretty much over.

Final Score (Not an Average): 5.0

The game is an outdated effort at nostalgia, really, and while fun and charming at moments, it really brings nothing new to the table.  In fact, it brings leftovers to the table from last week, the crummy Asian place you only tolerate for variety.  While not perfect, the concept has made me wonder why we don't see updates to other Nintendo franchises similar to this one, like Zelda or Metroid.  If you haven't touched a controller since the SNES, it could be fun.  Consider picking it up if that's your case.

Jason Ross, Forum Member

Yes I did just submit this as an application to jobs [at] nintendoworldreport (dot) com, and yes I did just receive a notification email that said address does not exist.  Now I'm left pondering how I will get this read by the staff! :(

Offline ThomasO

  • Score: 18
    • View Profile
    • deviantART account
Re: IGNorant assumption of NSMBW's review score
« Reply #27 on: October 22, 2009, 09:48:34 AM »
Awesome review.

Wii Music media reviews are automatically null since playing SIMPLE MUSIC is too much for non-casual reviewers to handle.
Actually, the problem reviewers had with the musical selection in Wii Music isn't that it was simple, but that it was ****ty.  A bunch of public domain music and a couple actual Nintendo songs in a Nintendo game?  Seriously?
Then again, IGNorant Matt actually stated months before release that he was going to rip apart Wii Music in his review, from what I heard. Don't mean to derail, but I think the songs were chosen because the wider audience Nintendo was going for would be most familiar with them than "Molgera Battle" or something.

Offline D_Average

  • Score: 3
    • View Profile
Re: IGNorant assumption of NSMBW's review score
« Reply #28 on: October 22, 2009, 01:53:43 PM »
IGN UK has their own podcast now. I was dissapointed. Not British enough.
Don't hate me, hate the money I see, clothes that I buy
Ice that I wear, clothes that I try....

Offline Peachylala

  • Bunk Pass Itch
  • Score: 4
    • View Profile
Re: IGNorant assumption of NSMBW's review score
« Reply #29 on: October 22, 2009, 02:50:58 PM »
Thatguy wins this thread.

And thread name has changed.
Peachy got himself a 360 Slim. ...Yahoo?

Offline that Baby guy

  • He's a real Ei-Ei-Poo!
  • Score: 379
    • View Profile
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #30 on: October 22, 2009, 06:57:37 PM »
I'm working on becoming a fake staff member as we speak.

Edit:  Oops.  I just posted on the forums.  I guess I'm disqualified.

Edit:  There we go.  It really is better than Features Editor!

3x Edit:  I was told "NVVR_thatguy" would be a bit much, so I guess that's where the buck stops.

Offline ShyGuy

  • Fight Me!
  • *
  • Score: -9660
    • View Profile
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #31 on: October 22, 2009, 09:31:38 PM »
Who is Jason Ross, and why do I have his social security number?

Offline that Baby guy

  • He's a real Ei-Ei-Poo!
  • Score: 379
    • View Profile
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #32 on: October 22, 2009, 09:37:39 PM »
They sent the # to the wrong guy.  Should've seen it coming.

Offline EasyCure

  • wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah!
  • Score: 75
    • View Profile
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #33 on: October 23, 2009, 10:44:51 AM »
Who is Jason Ross, and why do I have his social security number?

Is it 3? Cuz he's been plastering that all over the forums for awhile now.
February 07, 2003, 02:35:52 PM
EASYCURE: I remember thinking(don't ask me why) this was a blond haired, blue eyed, chiseled athlete. Like he looked like Seigfried before he became Nightmare.

Offline Dasmos

  • Needs Him Some Tang in His Lollies
  • Score: 52
    • View Profile
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #34 on: October 23, 2009, 11:15:24 AM »
Who is Jason Ross, and why do I have his social security number?

A quick Google search reveals that Jason Ross is a male pornographic actor.
Images are not allowed in signatures. That includes moving images (video).

Offline Peachylala

  • Bunk Pass Itch
  • Score: 4
    • View Profile
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #35 on: October 23, 2009, 01:28:46 PM »
And NSMBW is a different kind of porn. FUN FILLED, PLATFORMING porn.

i hate myself
Peachy got himself a 360 Slim. ...Yahoo?

Offline EasyCure

  • wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah!
  • Score: 75
    • View Profile
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #36 on: October 23, 2009, 03:02:05 PM »
Speaking of porn..

I wanna make an 80s theme porno, all the girls will be busty blondes with flat asses in horrible day glow outfits (which theyll take off of course). I'll call it:

Come On Eileen
February 07, 2003, 02:35:52 PM
EASYCURE: I remember thinking(don't ask me why) this was a blond haired, blue eyed, chiseled athlete. Like he looked like Seigfried before he became Nightmare.

Offline that Baby guy

  • He's a real Ei-Ei-Poo!
  • Score: 379
    • View Profile
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #37 on: October 24, 2009, 03:28:54 AM »
Who is Jason Ross, and why do I have his social security number?

A quick Google search reveals that Jason Ross is a male pornographic actor.

News to me!

Offline Dasmos

  • Needs Him Some Tang in His Lollies
  • Score: 52
    • View Profile
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #38 on: October 26, 2009, 02:06:36 AM »
I also suggest once Googling the name Jason Ross not clicking Google images, unless of course you want to see thatguy in action.
Images are not allowed in signatures. That includes moving images (video).

Offline EasyCure

  • wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah!
  • Score: 75
    • View Profile
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #39 on: October 26, 2009, 10:52:34 AM »
i'd rather post this in the trolling thread, and i'm not even sure if it mad it to the actual NSMBW thread yet but i just read this today:

Quote from: from N-Europe
News; New Super Mario Bros. Wii just 6 Hours Long

Those hoping for a 100 hour epic may now go and cry.

The upcoming classic side-scrolling style new super mario bros. wii is nintendo's biggest mario game this year. so you'd think it was filled with hours and hours of gameplay? apparently not, according to the UK's Official Nintendo Magazine.

When answering reader questions on the title, they remarked that while great fun their reviwer was able to "blitz through it" in six hours. Granted this is without going back to collect all star coins, which require multiple play-throughs to complete.

Are you fucking kidding me? Anyone who expected a sidescrolling mario game to be 100 hours obviously has some sort of mental deffeciency. In an age where people are doing spped runs of the original mario bros in like what, 5 mins?, you'd expect a massively long game out of NSMBW? Hell 6 hours seems like a LONG time for this kind of game, especially considering the review "blitzed through it".

This sort of **** is whats wrong with the TARDCORE
February 07, 2003, 02:35:52 PM
EASYCURE: I remember thinking(don't ask me why) this was a blond haired, blue eyed, chiseled athlete. Like he looked like Seigfried before he became Nightmare.

Offline NinGurl69 *huggles

  • HI I'M CRAZY
  • Score: 28
    • View Profile
    • Six Sided Video
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #40 on: October 26, 2009, 12:24:02 PM »
HOLY ****, NEW VOCAB
:: Six Sided Video .com ~ Pietriots.com ::
PRO IS SERIOUS. GET SERIOUS.

Offline broodwars

  • Hunting for a Pineapple Salad
  • Score: -1011
    • View Profile
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #41 on: October 26, 2009, 03:10:14 PM »
i'd rather post this in the trolling thread, and i'm not even sure if it mad it to the actual NSMBW thread yet but i just read this today:

Quote from: from N-Europe
News; New Super Mario Bros. Wii just 6 Hours Long

Those hoping for a 100 hour epic may now go and cry.

The upcoming classic side-scrolling style new super mario bros. wii is nintendo's biggest mario game this year. so you'd think it was filled with hours and hours of gameplay? apparently not, according to the UK's Official Nintendo Magazine.

When answering reader questions on the title, they remarked that while great fun their reviwer was able to "blitz through it" in six hours. Granted this is without going back to collect all star coins, which require multiple play-throughs to complete.

Are you ****ing kidding me? Anyone who expected a sidescrolling mario game to be 100 hours obviously has some sort of mental deffeciency. In an age where people are doing spped runs of the original mario bros in like what, 5 mins?, you'd expect a massively long game out of NSMBW? Hell 6 hours seems like a LONG time for this kind of game, especially considering the review "blitzed through it".

This sort of **** is whats wrong with the TARDCORE

I think it's obvious the "100 hours" in that quote was hyperbole.  That said, 6 hours out of this game is pathetic.  For what games cost these days (and how little money there is going around), I expect at least 8-10 solid hours out of a title.  If I can get that out of ****ing A Boy & His Blob, I expect no less from Nintendo themselves.
« Last Edit: October 26, 2009, 03:13:51 PM by broodwars »
There was a Signature here. It's gone now.

Offline Stratos

  • Stale lazy meme pirate
  • Score: 70
    • View Profile
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #42 on: October 26, 2009, 05:35:41 PM »
I recall that SMB3 took me all day to play through back in the day. Six does seem rather on the short side of things. Maybe he used warps or it's set up like the DS game where some worlds are hidden and you have to unlock them.
My Game Collection
NNID: Chronocast
Switch: SW-6786-5514-9978
3DS Friend Code: 0447-5723-6467
XBL Gamertag: Chronocast

Offline vudu

  • You'd probably all be better off if I really were dead.
  • NWR Junior Ranger
  • Score: -19
    • View Profile
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #43 on: October 26, 2009, 05:40:05 PM »
I recall that SMB3 took me all day to play through back in the day. Six does seem rather on the short side of things.

Bullshit.  I can beat SMB3 w/o warping in 2 to 3 hours.  SMW probably takes 5 or 6 hours.
Why must all things be so bright? Why can things not appear only in hues of brown! I am so serious about this! Dull colors are the future! The next generation! I will never accept a world with such bright colors! It is far too childish! I will rage against your cheery palette with my last breath!

Offline Stratos

  • Stale lazy meme pirate
  • Score: 70
    • View Profile
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #44 on: October 26, 2009, 05:42:20 PM »
This was when I was a kid. I'm going to guess my sense of time was skewed.

In fact, I wonder if my Mom made me take breaks because I remember leaving the game on all afternoon once when I did something else like get kicked outside to play.

So, yeah, it could have just been me thinking it took forever to beat.
My Game Collection
NNID: Chronocast
Switch: SW-6786-5514-9978
3DS Friend Code: 0447-5723-6467
XBL Gamertag: Chronocast

Offline that Baby guy

  • He's a real Ei-Ei-Poo!
  • Score: 379
    • View Profile
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #45 on: October 26, 2009, 06:27:29 PM »
Didn't the ONM QA say something a little different than 6 hours?  Oh, that's right, it did:

Quote
How many hours will it take to finish for a person who is fairly decent at platformers?
It took me around six hours to complete, but that was blitzing through it and not collecting the Star Coins. That will easily add another seven or eight hours to the proceedings, because you'll obviously have to play through most of the levels again and some of the coins are in really awkward positions this time.

Hmm.  Now let's read more about this gamer's experience with Mario game.

Quote
Did you find the game difficult? If so, did you end up using the Super Guide and how often did you use it?
I never had to use the Super Guide, but bear in mind that I've been playing Mario games since I was three and have played the original Super Mario Bros. at least once a week for the past 23 years. I can blitz through Super Mario World with no problems nowadays, yet I still found this very tough at times, so that should give you an indication.

So, what you're hearing is that this game is "short" if you regularly play Super Mario Bros. and rush through it as fast as possible to beat it to play a review. Stop being stupid.  Seriously.  Stop. Being. Stupid. STOOOOOOOP.

Quotes from http://www.officialnintendomagazine.co.uk/article.php?id=12629

Offline NinGurl69 *huggles

  • HI I'M CRAZY
  • Score: 28
    • View Profile
    • Six Sided Video
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #46 on: October 26, 2009, 06:41:36 PM »
Don't forget those fabulous SNES/N64 game prices that approached $80 at retail.  Most "kids" here don't really recall that impact cuz they were just spoiled by their parents back then.

Wii've got it easy this gen, aside from HD gaming and Plastic Hero gaming.
:: Six Sided Video .com ~ Pietriots.com ::
PRO IS SERIOUS. GET SERIOUS.

Offline broodwars

  • Hunting for a Pineapple Salad
  • Score: -1011
    • View Profile
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #47 on: October 26, 2009, 06:42:34 PM »
So, what you're hearing is that this game is "short" if you regularly play Super Mario Bros. and rush through it as fast as possible to beat it to play a review. Stop being stupid.  Seriously.  Stop. Being. Stupid. STOOOOOOOP.

Quotes from http://www.officialnintendomagazine.co.uk/article.php?id=12629

Alright, first off: Stop being a forum flamer.  Seriously.  Stop.  Being.  Forum.  FLAAAAAMER.

Now then, generally I've found that my finishing time for games is roughly 2-3 hours shorter than what reviews estimate it as.  The content they skipped through usually adds 2-3 hours of playtime onto a game experience, so in the end we're right back where we started: it's still short for a modern game, especially a console game.
There was a Signature here. It's gone now.

Offline that Baby guy

  • He's a real Ei-Ei-Poo!
  • Score: 379
    • View Profile
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #48 on: October 26, 2009, 06:44:43 PM »
I wrote a review for you, it's up higher on this page.  You'll love it, probably.

Offline Stogi

  • The Stratos You Should All Try To Be Like
  • Score: 18
    • View Profile
Re: It's fun to be IGNorant! (aka NSMBW trolling thread)
« Reply #49 on: October 26, 2009, 06:48:39 PM »
I think...I think EC was joking....


So, what you're hearing is that this game is "short" if you regularly play Super Mario Bros. and rush through it as fast as possible to beat it to play a review. Stop being stupid.  Seriously.  Stop. Being. Stupid. STOOOOOOOP.

Quotes from http://www.officialnintendomagazine.co.uk/article.php?id=12629

Alright, first off: Stop being a forum flamer.  Seriously.  Stop.  Being.  Forum.  FLAAAAAMER.

Now then, generally I've found that my finishing time for games is roughly 2-3 hours shorter than what reviews estimate it as.  The content they skipped through usually adds 2-3 hours of playtime onto a game experience, so in the end we're right back where we started: it's still short for a modern game, especially a console game.


This dude on the other hand....
black fairy tales are better at sports