Topic: Putting Some Paper in Smash Bros. 4

[Crimm]

This time it will take a real man to give real gamers what they want.

http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/blog/32433

Despite it not being out yet—Nintendo has, in fact, said little about it—it does seem fair to start online message board rants about the next Super Smash Bros game. Self-proclaimed "competitive gamers" have already started doing so, lamenting that it will most likely be exceedingly casual, based entirely on the loss of the ability to move about like Peter Pan using fairy dust in the transition from Melee to Brawl.

With that in mind, I have a plan to save the franchise, and in fact Nintendo itself. Nintendo has neglected adding characters from Mario’s "Paper" adventures, and the one they add should be a villain. No, not Bleck. Smash Bros needs an enemy at a different level, a character that best identifies with those who love the series as it should be. 

Super Smash Bros. needs Francis.

Challenger Approaching!

Francis is a man… well, chameleon, they can identify with. I assume he only owns one shirt— a collectible he got with Club Nintendo points. He wears thick glasses. He tends to hide when a hot babe shows up in his room. He understands the hi-technical nature of not just making a game, but of the combat system these fans demand be added to this fighting experience. 

Francis would not stand for the removal of wavedashing, or L-canceling, and assuredly would not stand for the removal of reverse flip-stumping. He, like those who would identify with him, would instead modify the game code, much as was done by some for Brawl. At the very least he would ban the use of items, although he may save them for his collection. And lest you doubt his talents, remember he created the always-titillating MeowMaids, combining the two best assets of a woman: feline features and domestic servant attire.

So, what would Francis do? Obviously he could turn invisible. His long tongue is a devastating weapon, and certainly he could swallow his enemies, much like Kirby. Perhaps his most powerful attacks will come from his laptop, which he stores in his very stylish fanny pack. His Nerrr2Babe.exe interface will woo any female characters via a very stylish dating sim. Yes, the game will have to pause briefly, but you can’t rush romance. If you’re a dude, though, you’re probably just getting a Meowbomb to the head.

I assume that says "Oh Francis, you're so suave."

Don’t worry about ol’ Francis taking a beating, though. I know for a fact he likes it. 

What would his stage be? Well, it can’t be his room: he enjoys his privacy. The only people allowed in are he and the aforementioned babes. Certainly it is a condition we can all identify with. 

Who am I kidding; it's going to be Final Destination.

This is why Nintendo needs to add Francis. He could be a hero to their most hardcore fans.

[RPG_FAN128]

Hilarious!  I love the absolutely appropriate screen shot of "complaining about games never played."  Everyone I know in real life who hates Majora's Mask has never completed it, and in most cases never spent more than an hour with it because "they couldn't get into it."  Everyone has their opinion of course, but it is really fair to judge a game that one has never completed?  (Or at least played MOST of the game) 


Back to the subject, I don't understand people's fixation with Melee.  I like Brawl better and was surprised by the amount of the masses who say it stinks by comparison to Melee.   But hey, we all have an opinion eh?  I enjoyed playing Brawl and anxiously look forward to playing the upcoming installment.  That's all.  It's my opinion and everyone else can have theirs.   

[red14]

This was so great! Hi-larious to say the least XD It's so great to see so many Paper Mario references lately!

[quote05]

I can understand the statements regarding l-canceling and wave dashing, as they were unitentional moves from the developers. But don't group in the option of turning off items in the same league. One of the great things about smash is the level of customization towards the matches. I always hear how people complain about the blue shell in Mario kart, and that falls in line with the choice of turning items on or off in smash in my opinions.

[Ceric]

What would his stage be? Well, it can’t be his room: he enjoys his privacy. The only people allowed in are he and the aforementioned babes. Certainly it is a condition we can all identify with.

Course it would be but you could only play as Francis and Babes.

[Glad0s]

Ohhhhh, those Smash World Forums...

[Crimm]

Ohhhhh, those Smash World Forums...

You casuals.

I can understand the statements regarding l-canceling and wave dashing, as they were unitentional moves from the developers. But don't group in the option of turning off items in the same league. One of the great things about smash is the level of customization towards the matches. I always hear how people complain about the blue shell in Mario kart, and that falls in line with the choice of turning items on or off in smash in my opinions.

I don't mind turning off items sometimes, but they're part of the game. Insisting they be off all the time is lame.

[MegaByte]

I always hear how people complain about the blue shell in Mario kart, and that falls in line with the choice of turning items on or off in smash in my opinions.

That would be a valid comparison for one particular item (say, Smash Balls), not the entire set.

[S-U-P-E-R]

Just don't, guys. Just, no

[KDR_11k]

Lighter, faster characters benefit a lot from having throwable items available, no items changes the game balance. Also the items aren't nearly as OP as, say, CoD killstreaks.

Hilarious!  I love the absolutely appropriate screen shot of "complaining about games never played."  Everyone I know in real life who hates Majora's Mask has never completed it, and in most cases never spent more than an hour with it because "they couldn't get into it."  Everyone has their opinion of course, but it is really fair to judge a game that one has never completed?  (Or at least played MOST of the game)

Er, you know, it's kinda unpleasant to complete a game you hate, especially if it's a long one.

[pandaradox]

More often than not, the ones who complained about Brawl's evolution of the series were the ones who heavily relied on the exploits of wavedashing and the like.  Sure, I appreciated them as well, but it was out of necessity much like nuclear weapons protect from nuclear weapons.  It was a glitch arms race that you either had to join in or get left in the dust.  The problem arose when those who identified skill with these glitches were suddenly ripped from the teat.  Instead of acknowledging that those bugs were fixed, they just complained.  For someone who's put in over a few weeks' time in game matches, I can definitely say that Brawl is better and what the series needed.  It's easy to lose sight of the beauty in the game when you play competitively.  Every exploit is money in your pocket.  If you're complaining about Brawl, then you're probably someone who didn't know how to play without these.  By removing those tactics, they forced people back into an uncomfortable zone where the game thrives: Poetry in Chaos.  But that makes the game much more organic than most fighters.  That's why I love the game. 

[S-U-P-E-R]

More often than not, the ones who complained about Brawl's evolution of the series were the ones who heavily relied on the exploits of wavedashing and the like.  Sure, I appreciated them as well, but it was out of necessity much like nuclear weapons protect from nuclear weapons.  It was a glitch arms race that you either had to join in or get left in the dust.  The problem arose when those who identified skill with these glitches were suddenly ripped from the teat.  Instead of acknowledging that those bugs were fixed, they just complained.  For someone who's put in over a few weeks' time in game matches, I can definitely say that Brawl is better and what the series needed.  It's easy to lose sight of the beauty in the game when you play competitively.  Every exploit is money in your pocket.  If you're complaining about Brawl, then you're probably someone who didn't know how to play without these.  By removing those tactics, they forced people back into an uncomfortable zone where the game thrives: Poetry in Chaos.  But that makes the game much more organic than most fighters.  That's why I love the game. 

[citation needed]
Wavedashing tech has nothing to do with why Brawl is the weakest of the series. Character balance and terrible design decisions like random slips do, though! Kill all casuals.

[TJ Spyke]

Brawl is not the weakest, by any stretch of the imagination. And its really just a small niche of douches (the kind who study frame by frame) who complain about character balance. Especially when they try and claim Meta Knight (who is not that good) is over-powered. Random slips are annoying, but very rare (in over 500 hours of playing, I have slipped less than 10 times). Those same people are indeed the once bitching about glitches being removed since they loved exploiting those glitches.

[S-U-P-E-R]

Brawl is not the weakest, by any stretch of the imagination. And its really just a small niche of douches (the kind who study frame by frame) who complain about character balance. Especially when they try and claim Meta Knight (who is not that good) is over-powered. Random slips are annoying, but very rare (in over 500 hours of playing, I have slipped less than 10 times). Those same people are indeed the once bitching about glitches being removed since they loved exploiting those glitches.

I don't know how to respond to a post so crazy and wrong, but I'm definitely quoting it before you can edit it!

[NWR_insanolord]

I don't understand how you can argue there isn't a balance problem. I'm by no means a tournament player, I can't even beat most of my friends, but it's clear as day that there's a significant imbalance among the characters. Some of them become more pronounced at higher levels, but you could sit someone who's never played the game in front of it for an hour and they'd begin to notice it.

[S-U-P-E-R]

I laughed out loud at the slipping 10 times in 500 hours comment. The odds of slipping are roughly 1% for every movement & roll, so you could expect to see a slip every couple minutes. Maybe tens of thousands of times in 500 hours. The odds of slipping only 10 times in that duration are similar to having your bad poster shanty shack that you built out of winning lottery tickets destroyed by an errant meteorite. In short, please either start sharing some lotto picks or stop making **** up.

[ShyGuy]

I see Pest Boaster is up to his old routine. Play it again Sam!

[TJ Spyke]

I didn't say every character is equal, but you have people like SUPER blowing it out of proportional and acting like it is worse than it is. As for tripping, maybe you have very bad luck if you tripped tens of thousands of times. I can battle in dozens of matches without tripping.

[S-U-P-E-R]

We've been over balance before and don't really need to again (spoilers: Metaknight is too good and a lot of characters are just plain terrible), but I'm not going to let this tripping thing go.
 

3 trips in ~100 movements. Surely it will happen only 10 times in 500 hours, at least in reality-denying badposter land!

[ShyGuy]

I think the Patterson footage has a clearer picture of the evidence. Dem Artifacts!

How many times did he have to shoot that to get three times in his desired time period?

Did he sink into a deep depression afterwards when he realized he was wasting his life?

[TJ Spyke]

SUPER, your "evidence" was little more than unsourced stats of how often characters were used (i.e. popularity only).

[S-U-P-E-R]

SUPER, your "evidence" was little more than unsourced stats of how often characters were used (i.e. popularity only).

Evidence, you say, Mr Magic McNeverslips?

How do feel about Metaknight's consistent tournament domination?

[Oblivion]

He's banned, so he actually doesn't dominate. Stop acting like a fucking asshole. You aren't the end all master of fighting games, bro.

[Luigi Dude]

[S-U-P-E-R]

He's banned, so he actually doesn't dominate. Stop acting like a fucking asshole. You aren't the end all master of fighting games, bro.

I heard the Unity league/ruleset disbanded, and now the Brawl tournament scene is a lawless wasteland, potentially devoid of life. Metaknight is the best -- it is a matter of public record.

Furthermore, I'm not the asshole for calling TJ on made up BS. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to deal with it.