Author Topic: MAFIA II: Day One (Read 17405 times)

Pryopizm · « **on:** February 20, 2006, 03:25:58 AM »

It was a calm day at Dagafabawat. The morning humidity was only mildly stifling and the townsfolk were waking up to face yet another day of futile work and incompetent managers.

Unfortunately, there had been a cancer growing within the depths of human scum. Two gangs had formed that were both competing against one another violently with bootlegged pornographic PSP games. Business was booming; but many lives had already been claimed in the brewing gang wars. Judge Aurion from the nearby town of Louieville had come there on vacation, but got caught up in a transexual teenage boy hentai UMD game ring.

One of the few other survivors of the famed Louieville Massacre, TVMan, decided to find a new home in Dagafabawat, but soon noticed that crime seemed to fester around him like a cold sore on the lip.

TVMan decided to introduce the town to the style of Swift Justice that cleansed Louieville of its most unsavory citizens. He pried the gun from Aurion's cold, dead fingers and renamed it The Crucible. He convinced the townspeople to see eye to eye with him and join in his crusade.

Vote. Vote now--for your lives.

ShyGuy · « **Reply #1 on:** February 20, 2006, 05:19:55 AM »

As a member of management, I take exception to that incompetent crack. Sure , I ordered milliions in R&D put into creating the most generic WWII FPS around, but I canceled that project! Some would say that was wasteful, but Microsoft gave me a moneyhat as a kickback, so it's all good. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a tee time down at the country club .

wandering · « **Reply #2 on:** February 20, 2006, 05:23:57 AM »

When wandering awoke that morning, he realized something was horribly wrong. "I should be wandering," he mused. "And yet I am not, and never have."

Later that morn, as Wandering stared at the sunrise as he wavered on the very edge of Cliff Dangerous, he mused further: "If I am never to wander, what is the point of living? What difference did it make if the dreariness ended now or 30 years from now?"

But just as he was about to jump, he remembered the one love of his life - the one thing that kept him going all those long years. Cheese.

But as he strolled back towards the town to fulfill his new mission of owning and operating a cheezerium, a thought struck him like the pang of a lobotomizing ice pick to the brain: he had been here before. Deja-vu? Or something more? Whatever it was, Wandering knew he hard this cry for justice before, he knew he had smelled this bloodthirsty scent in the air. As Wandering listened to the ravings of TVMan, he knew everything was the same. Except one thing: Wandering himself.

Wandering's suppositions were not merely the result of mental illness - Wandering had, in fact, just barely begun to hit upon the unfortunate fact that the deadly play which was just beginning had repeated itself a million times before, and would repeat itself a million times again, over the course of several millennia. Also, a bizarre cosmic shift had caused Wandering, in this single iteration of the play, to not wander.

But these thoughts had already left Wandering's mind, as he approached the place he had always and would always call home: the old House of Polysolysheoth in the district of Parcheesi in the town of Dagafabawat. When he entered, he grabbed the nearest piece of paper, and started to busily toil away at a sign. And when he finished, he hung it on his front door. It read:

"I can't go on living, goodbye world!"

...Quickly realizing his mistake, Wandering flipped the sign over.

"Wandering's Cheezerium - coming soon!"

vudu · « **Reply #3 on:** February 20, 2006, 09:18:53 AM »

Wandering cracks me up.

This is where I jokingly voted for TVman. I think the stress of surviving the first massacre drove him insane. He's out to get us all!

EDIT. I just noticed that Pale and IceCold also survived. I guess we could vote for one of them, too. You know, whatever.

Bill must have killed himself sometime between when the first game ended and the signup for this game.

EDIT: UNVOTE TVMAN I just wanted to be the first person to vote.

MysticGohan · « **Reply #4 on:** February 20, 2006, 09:24:23 AM »

Ah Dagafabawat, what a funny name for a town "I thought to myself" I picked up on the news about all the PSP's and the bootlegged porn, I had to think what moron would wanna sell something
that's limited in sales? Then it hit me, it was subliminal messaging of buying more bootlegged porn on blu-ray. Anyway... I went on with my day to pickup a bag of lean beef cuts, I plann on making stew tonight, so I needed the meat from the butcher's, I went in chatted abit, Strangely the butcher today was using a hacksaw to cut the meat into thin slices ....yeah whatever floats your boat Doc. I proceeded to get my order and move on out before he can do anything that might sugest a visit from your local food inspector.

As I was walking down the littered ads on the street, advertising psp ultra porn, I came across Wandering, I tried to get inconversation with him, but all he could muttered is "Cheese" and look blankly at the sky, poor wandering must be in a daze, I haven't seen something this sad since a turkey drowned itself while looking at the sky on a rainy day.

Pale · « **Reply #5 on:** February 20, 2006, 09:33:19 AM »

Dang.. voting already? How can anyone know anything....

As usual I feel like I get left out of the loop...

:: Starts putting names in a hat ::

vudu · « **Reply #6 on:** February 20, 2006, 09:53:36 AM »

Quote
Originally posted by: Pale
Dang.. voting already? How can anyone know anything....

I know everything.

Sir_Stabbalot · « **Reply #7 on:** February 20, 2006, 12:03:53 PM »

Stabby -no relation to the Louieville Stabby- walks outside casually, then proceeds to trip.

wandering · « **Reply #8 on:** February 20, 2006, 12:08:10 PM »

This party....isn't exactly swinging.

By this time last time there was, what, 25 posts?

edit: ahaha, stabby.

Pryopizm · « **Reply #9 on:** February 20, 2006, 12:14:53 PM »

I think people are being more cautious this time around

vudu · « **Reply #10 on:** February 20, 2006, 12:38:12 PM »

Quote
Originally posted by: wandering
This party....isn't exactly swinging.

By this time last time there was, what, 25 posts?

We're all waiting for you to open your damn cheese bar.

MysticGohan · « **Reply #11 on:** February 20, 2006, 12:40:13 PM »

Yeah, I want my motre pepper Jack Cheese, heavy on the Jack

vudu · « **Reply #12 on:** February 20, 2006, 12:46:45 PM »

By the way, I was completely out of the loop on the last game. Apparently people were debating in hidden chat rooms and whatnot and I missed out on all the fun. Someone let me in this time.

Sir_Stabbalot · « **Reply #13 on:** February 20, 2006, 12:50:36 PM »

Cheesebar?!? Why wasn't I informed of this?!?

MysticGohan · « **Reply #14 on:** February 20, 2006, 12:52:19 PM »

You were, just now stabby

Sir_Stabbalot · « **Reply #15 on:** February 20, 2006, 12:54:07 PM »

Quote
Originally posted by: MysticGohan
You were, just now stabby

...Blast your lightning-fast wit.

nickmitch · « **Reply #16 on:** February 20, 2006, 12:56:26 PM »

EDIT:
UN-VOTE: VUDU
For un-voting for me.

MysticGohan · « **Reply #17 on:** February 20, 2006, 01:00:28 PM »

Ah! Mudslinging wars! Who will win or in this case die? Place all bets

wandering · « **Reply #18 on:** February 20, 2006, 01:24:17 PM »

Wandering was stunned - he had vastly underestimated the power of cheese. As he stood, exasperated by the throngs of cheese-lovers that were beating down at his door - he tried to explain. "The cheese truck doesn't arrive until tommorow!"

But when an a small orphan arrived, looking up with tearful eyes, and pleading: "Please, sir, I haven't had anything to eat but peking duck for the past week..." Wandering couldn't take it anymore.

"All I've got is my small, private stash," he said. "Wait just a moment." He dashed into the house and came out with a few handfuls. "Cheddar for you, orphan," he said sweetly. "No charge."

The orphan looked at the cheese in horror. "Cheddar! I wanted Brie!"

"Yes. Well. And jack for you, Gohan. Jack cheese I mean, he he he. Oh, and yes charge. $1.25, please."

Wandering then turned to the crowd: "Um, you can all, you know, mill about here. In my front yard. Talk, whatever. Want some cheese, just ask."

The Detective · « **Reply #19 on:** February 20, 2006, 01:25:07 PM »

Let the detectiving BEGIN!!!

wandering · « **Reply #20 on:** February 20, 2006, 01:31:17 PM »

You do know mods are playing, right? Mods that can see your IP address? Mods who might be on the side of evil?

Or...wait for it...don't you have a clue?

vudu · « **Reply #21 on:** February 20, 2006, 01:40:07 PM »

I'm sure no mod would abuse his power like that ... would he?

EDIT: What if he is one of the mods?

kirby_killer_dedede · « **Reply #22 on:** February 20, 2006, 01:50:33 PM »

Yes...yes he would.

The Detective · « **Reply #23 on:** February 20, 2006, 01:51:13 PM »

73h cr4pp0r5.

Sir_Stabbalot · « **Reply #24 on:** February 20, 2006, 02:01:08 PM »

I'd trust the mods. They didn't cheat last game, so they probably won't this time.

Or will they...?

vudu · « **Reply #25 on:** February 20, 2006, 02:03:25 PM »

Depends. Is that considered cheating? I don't recall a rule against it. You might consider it poor sportsmanship. However, you could also consider it using all available means necessary. What if I break into your house, log into PGC under your username and check your PMs to see if you are part of the mafia? Is that cheating? It's illegal, but that's besides the point.

nickmitch · « **Reply #26 on:** February 20, 2006, 02:26:29 PM »

Well, unless Ty is in the mob, the detective is safe.
But if the detective dies then we'll know who to vote for.

S-U-P-E-R · « **Reply #27 on:** February 20, 2006, 02:41:52 PM »

That and that account just posted from two entirely different IPs and might be a mob bluff anyway. Probably was.

S-U-P-E-R · « **Reply #28 on:** February 20, 2006, 03:01:47 PM »

First-voting is bad luck, but last game I was awesome and often correct in my bandwagoning. That said,
voting TVMan

Dasmos · « **Reply #29 on:** February 20, 2006, 03:06:40 PM »

Also vote TVman.

nickmitch · « **Reply #30 on:** February 20, 2006, 03:12:33 PM »

VOTE: TY
*angry eyes*

wandering · « **Reply #31 on:** February 20, 2006, 03:21:01 PM »

Wandeirng takes a long, hard look at TVman. "TVman, what's your favorite cheese?"

nickmitch · « **Reply #32 on:** February 20, 2006, 03:25:25 PM »

TVman looks oddly at wandering. He contemplates the answer and replies, "I'm not sure, but I'll tell you if you vote for Ty."

animecyberrat · « **Reply #33 on:** February 20, 2006, 03:27:57 PM »

Ok so I guess Im nto sure what we are doing but I was gonna say I vote for Wandering um yeha cuz I thik he is whatever it is we are looking for.

wandering · « **Reply #34 on:** February 20, 2006, 03:30:36 PM »

UNVOTE TY
"Well?"

nickmitch · « **Reply #35 on:** February 20, 2006, 03:32:50 PM »

*whispers in wandering's ear*

ShyGuy · « **Reply #36 on:** February 20, 2006, 03:36:08 PM »

(Rat, bold the word vote and the name of the person you are voting for in your post so Pryzopizm can count it)

Wow, I haven't seen a man die since I saw that cage death match on my business trip to Thailand.

I think Vudu's first instincts were right. Vote TVman

And everyone, be sure to check out our upcoming PSP title: Jakroid-Prime Hunt stuff: Not a ripoff.

nickmitch · « **Reply #37 on:** February 20, 2006, 03:38:18 PM »

TVman gets scared for his life and screams, "I don't wanna die!!! I don't deserve to go out this waaay!!"

vudu · « **Reply #38 on:** February 20, 2006, 03:38:51 PM »

I don't like secrets.

wandering · « **Reply #39 on:** February 20, 2006, 03:44:24 PM »

"I'm sorry, TVman, but that's exactly what I feared you'd say."
VOTE TVman

animecyberrat · « **Reply #40 on:** February 20, 2006, 03:44:51 PM »

vote wonderingvote wondring

nickmitch · « **Reply #41 on:** February 20, 2006, 03:45:46 PM »

"Traitor!"

vudu · « **Reply #42 on:** February 20, 2006, 03:48:07 PM »

Quote
Originally posted by: ShyGuy
I think Vudu's first instincts were right.

Whoa now, don't pin this on me. If we condemn an innocent man to die, I don't want to take the blame.

animecyberrat · « **Reply #43 on:** February 20, 2006, 03:50:30 PM »

So Animecyberrat, enters teh room and decided that this place isnt worth his time, pulls out his cutom walthe p-38 with extensions and begins points his gun at TVman. All of the sudden the guns starts making this weird noise and starts shaking in rats hands, "whats going on" he asks as the gun leaps from his hands and slowly begins to increase in size as it transforms in to a giant sized robot. "I am Megtron leader of the Decepticons," he says, and shouts at TVman "you cancelled my show all those years ago you FOOL!"

nickmitch · « **Reply #44 on:** February 20, 2006, 03:53:44 PM »

"That wasn't me! I was the one putting you back on television! The guy you're looking for is Batman! He's the one!" TVman then notices Megatron turning his head and then takes the opportunity to turn in to a griffin and fly away to safety.

vudu · « **Reply #45 on:** February 20, 2006, 03:56:34 PM »

It's a good thing I got this entire conversation recorded on my Soundwave.

MysticGohan · « **Reply #46 on:** February 20, 2006, 03:57:12 PM »

Hmmm... Seems like people have something on dear ole TVman, I guess I'm aboard.

Vote:TVMAN

Pale · « **Reply #47 on:** February 20, 2006, 04:09:23 PM »

I'm very confused but glad it isn't me.

Ty's my hero!

Vote: TVMAN

animecyberrat · « **Reply #48 on:** February 20, 2006, 04:12:16 PM »

um so what are we voting for again?

nickmitch · « **Reply #49 on:** February 20, 2006, 04:12:50 PM »

Who dies tonight.

Pryopizm · « **Reply #50 on:** February 20, 2006, 07:14:58 PM »

And so TVman felt the pang of experience against his temple as, in bitter irony, his own attempt at saving the town turned against him. The crowd then looted his wallet and found something quite fascinating. It was a card that read:

Ted V Mann Agent 7.

CyberRat looked shamefaced and turned to Wandering and said, "This is bad, right?"

Mario responded, "Oh yeah, this is really bad."

S-U-P-E-R · « **Reply #51 on:** February 20, 2006, 07:20:08 PM »

Oh god I've killed us all
Edit: especially me

ShyGuy · « **Reply #52 on:** February 20, 2006, 07:29:07 PM »

VUDU YOU DECIEVED ME! You must have wanted the detective dead!!

S-U-P-E-R · « **Reply #53 on:** February 20, 2006, 07:32:19 PM »

Captain Lavender can still ressurect someone as the cop...?but if he does it right away, it will be obvious who the new cop is.

News:

Author Topic: MAFIA II: Day One (Read 17405 times)