Topic: MYSTERY FUNHOUSE THEATER!!! *31 Days* Halloween Movie Marathon! *31 Movies*

[BlackNMild2k1]

This movie sounds so bad..... I only watched the intro to make sure the alternate link worked.
I will probably be sitting this one out....

I did do Ghoulies 2 all by myself afterall.

[broodwars]

0:18:50

Ugh...apparently the creators of this movie thought that when I put in a movie called "Raptor Island", what I really want is an action movie about Navy SEALs tracking down terrorists in totally non-tropical woods on an "island in the South China Sea."  I can't tell if they're trying to rip off a Dinosaur-themed Big Budget movie or Commando.  Yes, the Raptors themselves look horrendous, but are you really surprised?  I think Dinobot from Beast Wars was more realistic.  It isn't their horrible models or poor animation that bugs me at the moment, though, but how these dinos are apparently made out of Adamantium and aren't the least bit bothered by being shot.  There are many perfectly acceptable ways of shooting this current scene, such as showing this lone soldier perhaps taking out a Raptor or two with his AK-47 before being overwhelmed by the sheer numbers in the pack.  Instead, we get a guy who's tripping over himself firing several machine gun rounds at these fake dinos, who aren't the least bit perturbed as the bullets just make little "poof" red particle effects on their skin as they just stand there and look at the guy shooting at them ineffectually.

Have these people never seen a monster movie before, or even the Big Budget movies they're trying to rip off?

[BlackNMild2k1]

LOL

I think I would get more enjoyment out of the commentary mixed with the few picks that have been posted so far than actually watching and dismantling this movie myself.

[broodwars]

0:32:41

Ok, so the backstory this movie is running with is that the plane at the beginning of the movie that crashed was a Chinese plane ferrying United States nuclear waste.  In the crash, the radioactive material soaked into the ground and caused dino reanimation.  Ok, there are so many things wrong with that scenario, but the thing that keeps popping up in my head is "wait, did Hideo Kojima write this?"  Considering the silly, nonsensical, almost vaguely anti-nuclear plot; all the characters running around with head sets trying to capture an escaping terrorist; the sheer number of times I've been tempted to write "Snake?  SNAAAAAAAAKE!"; and how incredibly easy it looks like it's going to be to make a "yes, love can bloom on the battlefield" joke...well, the similarities are uncanny.   
 

[ThePerm]

heheh, its really funny when people don't understand radiation and nuclear physics. I love Ninja turtles and Godzilla, but yeah usually the radiation just kills you. If you happen to be a fruitfly your eyes may change color...

[broodwars]

0:43:28

You know, considering these guys are supposed to be Navy SEALs (iirc, the best of the best of Navy Special Forces), it's amazing how utterly incompetent they are at actually hitting a barely-moving target with their machine guns, just waving the guns around randomly spraying bullets all over the place.  It's a good thing they apparently unlocked the Unlimited Machine Gun before they arrived on the island, because despite being isolated from any resupply opportunities and being extremely trigger-happy, they sure haven't had any ammunition problems. 

Of course, these are the same Navy SEALs who apparently think the best way to stop a guy who's stealing your boat and sailing off is to blow up the boat and strand yourself on the island with little hope of rescue.   

[BlackNMild2k1]

LOL

[Stratos]

0:53:08

"Make every round count!"

It's a good thing they apparently unlocked the Unlimited Machine Gun before they arrived on the island, because despite being isolated from any resupply opportunities and being extremely trigger-happy, they sure haven't had any ammunition problems. 

LOL

[Stratos]

0:52:07

And to top the plot off, the whole island is going to blow in the next 24 hours! ZOMG!!!

[broodwars]

0:54:36

*looks at his watch*

Oh look, it's that time again!  It's time for the old veteran to do the Noble Sacrifice and go down in a blaze of glory because...why?      They were getting away, so why did he stay behind?  What a pity, because he was only Two Days Until Retirement!

btw, I'll give the movie credit for one thing: that scene where the injured veteran bitch-slaps a baby raptor that had jumped up to his ledge, causing it to flip over on the ground where its buddies ate it alive was hilarious.   : : :

EDIT:

0:55:47

Ok, so despite knowing that this entire island is soaked in radioactive material that caused all sorts of nasty **** to spring up, as well as the dead fish floating in the water...you decide to wade through the probably severely-contaminated water (apparently including complete submersion considering what they look like when they get out of the water).  By the logic of this movie, they should be becoming part-dinosaur any minute now due to nuclear mutation.

[Stratos]

0:53:51

I'll just throw away my life as you both still have to jump into a stinky swamp to save yourselves! Aren't I noble? I can't even kill one of them before I go.



0:56:02

P.U.!!!, who forgot to put away the leftover humans? They've gone bad. That was going to be lunch tomorrow.

[Stratos]

0:58:21

:music: "Our house, is a very, very, very fine house.
  With two raptors in the yard,
  Life used to be so hard,
  Now everything is easy 'cause of you." :music:

Why does everyone come to this place? Is there no other place of significance on this island?

~
Why do the emoticons not work?1?

[broodwars]

1:15:00

"Ah, Mr. Terrorist!  I knew I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on-board!"

Nice Lava River, by the way.  I especially love how it literally fades into existence over the ground.

[Stratos]

1:00:23

"Oh, Tommy! I loved you!" Dawww!!! It's the emotional sappy moment! Let's bleed out hearts together! No, wait, bleeding attracts the Raptors...

[Stratos]

1:02:45

"We're running low on ammo."

...
...
Let's give her a hand folks! Come on! The woman is a genius! Conserving ammo, who'd have thunk?



1:03:31

Fe, Fi, Fo, Fum.
  I smell the blood of a Marine and friend,
  Be he living, or be he dead,
  I’ll grind his bones to mix my bread.

[broodwars]

And...done!  Well that was an abrupt ending, as well as a rip-off of the ending of the original Jurassic Park novel (which hints at the Raptors migrating to the mainland by swimming off the island in herds).  I also had to restrain myself from making a "GET TO DA CHOPPA!" reference in my running commentary.  So, all in all was Raptor Island a bad movie?  Oh hell yes.  Bad acting, bad CG, bad animation, bad visual effects, bad writing...you name it, it's here.  Despite all that, though, I at least found this movie more watch-able than Labyrinth.  My biggest problem with this movie is that it's just so...incompetent.  Yes, it's a "stupid" movie as well, but "stupid" I can deal with under the right circumstances.  For example, just the other day I re-watched Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen, but it's aware of that and just runs with it.  This movie just feels...lazy.  The plot can't make up its mind whether the terrorist angle is going to be the main plot, a sub plot, or a Maguffin.  That plot never goes anywhere, anyway.  Meanwhile, the "monster movie" angle isn't done very well, with no scare moments and laughably bad gore.  So if you enter this movie wanting a shlock-grade action film, you'll be disappointed, and if you enter this movie wanting a typical cheesy monster movie you'll be disappointed as well.  There are elements of a passable movie in this, but it's all just thrown together and never works.  Hey, at least it's better than any given Uwe Boll film.

[Stratos]

1:07:35

Always yield for raptors and small children in school zones and volcanic caves.

[BlackNMild2k1]

Is that the same chick in mud camo?

[Stratos]

1:10:37

"Oh, bother, stuck again..."

Is that the same chick in mud camo?

Yes, she is the only female in the film. Kinda sad if you ask me.

[Stratos]

Halbred: NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Broodwars: Shut up!
Halbred: But...but...all those beautiful dinosaurs...all the potential research...GONE!!!
*BLACKNMILD SLAPS HALBRED UPSIDE THE HEAD*
BnM: Down in front! I want to get this horrible movie over with. Besides, those are the fugliest dinos I've ever seen.
Stratos: Maybe that lava can pour through my brain and burn away the awful images this movie has imprinted in my brain.

[Stratos]

1:24:14

So...they yell 'wait wait' as the chopper flies off and THEN decide to fire off the flares?

...OK...

[Stratos]

I loved Joker in The Dark Knight. He had such a cool outfit. I was going to dress as him for Halloween. The only problem is everyone else dressed as him too. Even the god damned rex went as him. I can't compete against that. Stupid Rex-Joker.

(thank God this movie is almost over!)

[Stratos]

1:27:28

Lochness-Raptors? I smell a sequel...oh, wait, that's the rotting fruit in my trash can. Or is it this film? Pah! It's close enough to the same.



1:27:30

STEDICAM OPERATORS?!? More like Jitter-Cam Operators. Someone gave them too much coffee on filming day. I almost censored the names on this pic to avoid any more embarrassment that they have most likely already faced, but then decided they deserved the forth coming mockery.

That was crazy. It takes a lot of work to do a running reel. I don't know how you did it on that crumby laptop of yours, BnM. I know I'm gonna to that special mod you mentioned earlier in the thread if I ever do something like this again. Auto uploading would have streamlined the process a lot.

[BlackNMild2k1]

I would leave paint open (sometimes 2 of them depending on what I was gonna do with the pic) & have tinypic loaded with my MFT folderready  and then just screen cap, crop, save, upload, copy/paste. That whole process would take maybe 20-30 seconds if I got the pic in cropping position quickly and correctly.

I've got a system, but now I have a much more capable computer so the crappy laptop is no more.

[Stratos]

That's basically what I fell into doing using Gimp once I found that. Though it was sometimes hard to land on good shots since you can't directly rewind and go frame by frame in Netflix. I ended up watching scenes multiple times in a row.