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What I'm Thankful for This Year: A Nintendo Zack-tacular Thanksgiving Day Surprise

by Zack Kaplan - November 28, 2013, 5:55 am EST
Total comments: 8

In celebration of Thanksgiving, Zack takes a look at all the stuff we should be thankful for this year in Nintendo.

Thanksgiving is a day Americans visit with their families and celebrate all the special things they are thankful for while stuffing their gullets with the suffering of turkeys across the nation. In honor of this national tradition, I thought I would share with you all what I’m thankful for in the world of Nintendo.  Now my children, while I prepare this Yoshi for our Nintendo World Report feast, you should read this list, for it is what the Pilgrims came to this country for.

The Year of Luigi:

Luigi has always been the second fiddle to Mario. In order to celebrate over 30 years of being in his brother’s shadow, Nintendo decided to give him his own year.  This was easily the best decision Nintendo has ever made. In a tough situation, with a not so successful console, why not make him the selling point?  To that end we got New Super Luigi U. The one thing Nintendo needed was another New Super game, because 2 entries in two years was not enough. Now that the year is coming to the end l give thanks to Nintendo for giving us more Luigi. If I learned anything from Nintendo this year, it is that second best is good enough.

PlayStation:

Did you know PlayStation came about after Nintendo made a deal with Sony for a CD based add-on for the Super Nintendo? When they decided to go with Philips instead, which never panned out, Sony felt betrayed, took the technology, and made the original PlayStation.  With this in mind we can come to the conclusion that everything good that has come out of PlayStation is because of Nintendo’s doing. Franchises like Gran Turismo and Little Big Planet are some of Nintendo’s finest efforts. Heck, Nintendo even made the PS Vita and PS4. You really know that with Nintendo, with every decision they make, greatness awaits.

Electronic Arts:

Due to poor sales, Electronic Arts is giving very little support to the Wii U. In a great move Nintendo has helped save money on titles like Battlefield 4 and Need for Speed: Rivals. By not making these games on the Wii U, EA has saved so much money that they will be able to make more titles not on the Wii U.

Game Store Employees:

This past August when Splinter Cell Blacklist came out, I went into GameStop, a place that specializes in vidja games, and asked if they had the game for the Wii U. The store clerk went on to laugh with his co-worker, shook his head, and said something along the lines of “No, no we don’t. We have it on Xbox though.” That made me feel so great. It is just one of the hidden benefits of being a Nintendo gamer.

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So that is what I am thankful for this year. The Yoshi is ready and Kirby just arrived with desserts, so I better get going. Be sure to stop by this site next Arbor day as I will be discussing what Nintendo games give me wood. Happy Holidays!

Talkback

OblivionNovember 28, 2013

Two of those seem like they shouldn't be a good thing...

Evan_BNovember 28, 2013

This is the most anti-Nintendo article I've ever seen on this site.

So... Great job, Zack? At least EA isn't polluting the Wii U.

pokepal148Spencer Johnson, Contributing WriterNovember 28, 2013

I think he's going for some form of satire.

Yeah, I believe this article is tongue-in-cheek. He wrote a similar one at the end of E3 this year.

Evan_BNovember 29, 2013

He needs to work on it.

Steel DiverZack Kaplan, Associate EditorNovember 29, 2013

My sense of humor may not be in line with most peoples.  :-\

Fatty The HuttNovember 29, 2013

I LOLed
quite a bit
dripping cynicism is appreciated, always

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