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Virtual MAN-BEAMS: The March of the Black Consoles

by Neal Ronaghan - March 6, 2009, 8:19 pm
Total comments: 20

In this week's recommendations, we've got a homoerotic TurboGrafx 16 shooter and a revered strategy RPG.

I am proud to present Jon Lindemann's long-awaited Cho Aniki recommendation. Lindy survived all the MAN-BEAMS and questionable subject matter to bring you the recommendation of the NWR Virtual Console Non-Nintendo Console Game of the Year.

Meanwhile, Nick DiMola handled Ogre Battle: The March of the Black Queen, a classic strategy RPG for the Super Nintendo.

Which game do you prefer? Does homoeroticism renew your interest in shoot-'em-ups? Where is the Black Queen marching to? You can discuss all this and more in the Talkback thread.


Cho Aniki

SystemVirtual Console - TurboGrafx-CD

Cost900 Points
Players1
ControllersWii Remote,Wii Nunchuk,GameCube
ESRB RatingEveryone 10+
ReleasedDec 25, 1992

Cho-Aniki holds a special place in our hearts here at NWR. It isn’t the best shoot'em-up on Virtual Console – Lords of Thunder, Axelay, and Gradius III are certainly "better" – but it's definitely the most outrageous. As a cape-wearing hero named Idaten or a raven-haired heroine named Benten, you unleash your fury on the forces of Bo Emperor Bill. You see, Bill is a bodybuilder run amok, and after ten straight victories in the Galactic Bodybuilding Contest, he’s a bit short on protein. In need of planets on which to build more protein factories, he invades nearby galaxies in the hopes of continuing his muscle-bound domination. That's where Idaten, Benten, and their two cohorts Samson and Adon come in.

This is a fairly straight-forward horizontal shooter. You fly through various types of colorful environments, taking out enemies and battling bosses. Survive long enough and Samson and Adon will appear to aid you in your battle, hovering around you and providing some extra firepower. You can also select your movement speed, which is handy for certain bosses. What sets Cho Aniki apart is its character design, which borders on homoerotic. You'll find yourself asking questions like: "Is that a flying penis?", "Why does that have breasts?", and "Why are Samson and Adon Speedo-wearing musclemen?" You'll also revel in the fact that Idaten's super-attack is called the MAN-BEAM. A real hit at parties, Cho Aniki is a title that fans of ridiculous Japanese shooters will love. Others will scratch their heads.

Recommended for Fans

- Jon Lindemann



Ogre Battle: The March of the Black Queen

SystemVirtual Console - Super Nintendo Entertainment System

Cost800 Points
Players1
ControllersWii Nunchuk,GameCube
ESRB RatingEveryone
ReleasedYear 1993

For its time, Ogre Battle: The March of the Black Queen was quite a revolutionary game. It melded classic RPG concepts with those of strategy titles, creating a new and unique product. Essentially, players command a collection of troops on a variety of maps and attempt to reclaim all of the towns and villages present. Along the way, enemies need to be dispensed of, and troops, items, magic, and tarot cards need to be managed.

The game has an ActRaiser-esque feel to it, except instead of battling enemies in 2D side-scrolling levels, players take to the battlefield and fight enemies in standard SNES RPG fashion. While the gameplay was polished and innovative for its time, it is out of date at this point given the large strides that have been made in the genre since then.

Getting into Ogre Battle doesn't prove to be an easy task either. The "tutorial" level has players traversing the map over and over just to demonstrate some very simple concepts (though this may be symbolic of its age). Once players hit their stride there's plenty to enjoy and manage, but it is definitely inaccessible to those who don't already have an affinity for strategy RPGs.

Ogre Battle: The March of the Black Queen is undoubtedly a well-made title with many unique and successful features that are still in use today; however, given the limited appeal of the genre it helped pioneer, the game is very clearly meant for fans only.

Recommended for Fans

- Nick DiMola


Special thanks to the Video Game Museum for the screenshots

Talkback

AVMarch 07, 2009

Cho Aniki is a actually a very fun game. It's hard to be "RECOMMENDED FOR FANS" when I never had the chance to play it before.

It's basically for $#!+'5  and Giggles but I say its well worth the $9 to explore the worlds and see the different beasts. Gather friends get drunk and buy cho aniki .

I think I got the most offensive screen shot for Cho Aniki.
I'm proud of that.

AVMarch 07, 2009

Quote from: nron10

I think I got the most offensive screen shot for Cho Aniki.
I'm proud of that.

imagine that picture done in real life............LOL

broodwarsMarch 07, 2009

Yeah, I'm not terribly fond of the original Ogre Battle.  After an easy first few missions, the game just get sadistically difficult and the reputation meter is just impossible to manage.  This is a game designed to kill the player and crush their soul, and while I applaud it's no-nonsense approach I've never gotten further than the Pogram Forest level because of it.  There's plenty of great concepts in the game, but most of them wouldn't really shine till Ogre Battle 64 years later.  Ogre Battle's a game so niche it might actually benefit from being released right now when so much recent stuff on the VC has been utter crap and the Wii's going through a bit of a lull right now.  Hopefully, though, my $8 download of this game will entice Square-Enix to bring the other games in the series over, especially Ogre Battle 64 (which is easily the best game in the series).

I agree with the OB recommendation.  I've played both this one and OB64 and found both to be impenetrable.  Very well made, but very niche and incredibly complex.

StratosMarch 07, 2009

It took a bit but I got used to OB 64. The series seems to be one of those long and steep learning curbs. I'm going to D/L this on the next points splurge later this month.

Quite a dichotomy here.  Ogre Battle crushes your soul, while Cho Aniki lifts your spirits.

I'm still waiting to get lit and buy Cho Aniki...or Pong Toss.

StratosMarch 08, 2009

Quote from: nron10

...or Pong Toss.

... ???...

AVMarch 08, 2009

Quote from: Stratos

Quote from: nron10

...or Pong Toss.

... ???...

2nd that. Cho Aniki is a definite buy

StratosMarch 08, 2009

Has anyone recommended Cho Aniki for RetrActive yet? That would be great to do.

Quote from: nron10

236.jpg"

art.watchmen.wb.jpg"
MANHATTAN-BEAMS

Flames_of_chaosLukasz Balicki, Staff AlumnusMarch 09, 2009

That's just creepy.

StratosMarch 09, 2009

Quote from: MegaByte

Quote from: nron10

236.jpg"

art.watchmen.wb.jpg"
MANHATTAN-BEAMS

HA! Just priceless. Watch the game sales go up because of that combined with internet ignorance.

Flames_of_chaosLukasz Balicki, Staff AlumnusMarch 23, 2009

So I had the urge to buy Twin Bee today on virtual console, since I had 900 points left over I took the cho aniki plunge it's awesome!

Quote from: Flames_of_chaos

I took the cho aniki plunge it's awesome!

We demand pictures.

Flames_of_chaosLukasz Balicki, Staff AlumnusMarch 26, 2009

Quote from: Lindy

Quote from: Flames_of_chaos

I took the cho aniki plunge it's awesome!

We demand pictures.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/CONFUZZLED_MUNKIE/51oWEFGArsL_SS500_.jpg

StratosMarch 26, 2009

Is that Thomas the Tank Engine in the upper right hand corner? WTF?

Yes, and he's a boss.

CHO ANIKI WINS AGAIN

StratosMarch 30, 2009

Please tell me that Thomas the Tank Engine doesn't have a NAM-BEAM counter attack.
I think I may have to vote for the VC Cho Aniki next RetroActive poll it is on. I am very intrigued by its bizarre nature.

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