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Fear the Hamsters!

by Billy Berghammer - November 6, 2002, 10:04 am EST
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It's not just a hamster...it's Hamtaro! Insert your own twisted hamster joke here...

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Hamtaro Sparks National Hysteria

Sunflower Seed Shortage and Communication Breakdown Plague Consumers and Families

SEEDLING, Mich.--Nov. 6, 2002--The Sunflower Seed Association of

America (SSAA) has officially declared a United States agricultural

emergency, blaming Nintendo's Hamtaro game for a nationwide shortage

of its namesake product.

Meanwhile, parents in every state are complaining their children

are now speaking in a strange language. The chaos began with the

release of Nintendo of America's newest video game, Hamtaro(TM):

Ham-Hams Unite!(TM), now available on Game Boy Advance and Game Boy

Color.

The sunflower seed dilemma has the SSAA baffled. "The Hamtaro hype

has created a virtual seed obsession among kids, and we just can't

keep up," says Jim "Salty" Schell, director of the SSAA. "At this

point we aren't even sure we'll be able to stock the stadiums in time

for next year's baseball season." The SSAA has asked neighboring

Canada to send emergency supplies to the United States, but the

Canadian government won't deal as Hamtaro's popularity is beginning to

infiltrate Canada as well. "Normally, we'd be happy to supply in U.S.,

but the Hamtaro craze has already crossed the border," explains Ms.

Flora Stem, magistrate of agriculture.

Parents nationwide are bewildered by what their children may be

trying to communicate when they speak "Ham-Chat," the official Hamtaro

language. They can't help with homework, can't eavesdrop on phone

conversations and they don't even know what their kids want for dinner

(besides sunflower seeds).

One Omaha parent declared: "I had no idea this video game would

cause so much mayhem! You don't know what a long night means until you

sit through a grade school rendition of `Grease' -- all in Ham-Chat!"

When asked about his views on Hamtaro, a Pacoima child replied,

"Hamha, thank-Q for such a mega-Q and wondachu video game. It's

koochi-Q spiffie!"

The Hamtaro phenomenon spread to the United States from Japan. It

first was innocently introduced to children there as a series of

illustrated storybooks in 1997, and has exploded into a $3 billion

licensed property. The heartwarming hamster is the category leader in

children's publishing in Japan, with a starring role in his own

top-rated children's program in Tokyo, a top-selling children's home

video and a thriving children's music soundtrack.

Hamtaro's introduction to America came with the Hamtaro animated

television series, introduced on Cartoon Network last June. It's

currently seen in 80.7 million homes (weekdays at 8:00 a.m. EST).

Hamtaro: Ham-Hams Unite! allows players to take control of the

title's namesake and enlist in a mission to find and gather all of

Hamtaro's "Ham-Ham" friends. Through interactions with these

precocious pets, players must master the use of the Ham-Ham language

in order to link terms together to solve puzzles, find more friends,

and do Ham-Jams! Ham-Ham pals, along with a complete Ham-Ham

dictionary of terms, will help Hamtaro accomplish his mission.

Hamtaro: Ham-Hams Unite! is rated "E" for everyone and is available

for an MSRP of $19.95.

As the worldwide leader and innovator in the creation of

interactive entertainment, Nintendo Co. Ltd., of Kyoto, Japan,

manufactures and markets hardware and software for its popular home

video game systems. The systems include Game Boy(R), Nintendo(R) 64,

Game Boy Advance and NINTENDO GAMECUBE(TM). Since the release of its

first home video game system in 1983, Nintendo has sold more than 1.6

billion video games worldwide, creating enduring industry icons such

as Mario(TM) and Donkey Kong(R) and launching such franchises as

Zelda(TM) and Pokemon(R). As a wholly owned subsidiary, Nintendo of

America Inc., based in Redmond, Wash., serves as headquarters for

Nintendo's operations in the Western Hemisphere.

For more information about Nintendo, visit the company's Web site,

www.nintendo.com.

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