It’s official. Nintendo will be releasing Project Dolphin under the name, the Biological Assisted Device Action Super System, or shortened, BADASS. The BADASS will be released on March 2, 2001 in the United States.

Hiroshi Imanishi says, “We are proud to announce the release date of the BADASS as 03.02.01. We thought it was kind of catchy. We know you pesky Americans were whining and waiting for the arrival of the BADASS for a long time now. Rest assured, all of our hard work with the BADASS will pay off, and you soon will be having a grand ol’ time kicking ass on your BADASS systems”

The graphics chip from ArtX will be coupled with the new sound system newly called the Totally Immersed Transient System, or TITS. Imanishi explains, “All of the graphics are completely complimented with the TITS system. The TITS mainframe is just beautiful. Sounds from TITS are huge! Expansive, and amazing. The capabilities of TITS haven’t even begun to be touched” Neil Voss of Tetrisphere and the New Tetris fame says, “It’s amazing what I’ll be able to do with this new TITS system. The sounds I’ll make with TITS will be incredible!”

The Japanese release for the BADASS will be 11.24.00. Just in time for the Holiday shopping season. If your parents have $700.00 for an import.

“Mario will look F#$king amazing”, Shigeru Miyamoto said impatiently, ”We have taken drastic steps to make the next Mario title a much more adult title. (Miyamoto Laughs) Yes, Luigi is in the game don’t worry. (Miyamoto Laughs) Mario and Luigi will be fighting for the lust of Princess Peach. (Miyamoto Laughs) You’ve seen the crazy Japanese anime lately. (Miyamoto Laughs) Peach needs thigh highs and a boob job! (Miyamoto Laughs) We have to stay hip with the times! (Miyamoto Laughs) Do you think Mario or Luigi are going to do all that work for just a pie? (Miyamoto Laughs) I don’t think so. (Miyamoto Laughs)

More news and release line up coming soon….