I have never really been a big fan of the Army Men game series, but have played each title with the hopes that I will find one that’s a true keeper. Well, lets just say my search is far from over after playing Army Men Advance.

The game does have some redeeming points to it. The graphics have a great cartoon look to them, but they unfortunately help to contribute to one of the games biggest downfalls... the gameplay. With controls as basic as move and/or shoot this should not be an area the game lacks in. Between the awkward clunky character feel, and the terrible computer AI the gameplay is the true POW.

Don’t believe it’s that bad? Try shooting diagonally at an enemy without running towards them and exposing yourself to other enemy fire. Yes, you can strafe, but it’s not enough. Or better yet, try baiting a group of enemies through a doorway to gain the upper hand as they file in to your waiting ambush. Oh wait, you can’t do that! The enemy will just stand against the opposite side of the wall mirroring your movement back and forth until you are forced to walk through the doorway into a painfully obvious ambush; otherwise the stalemate will never cease! The in game music won’t help merit a purchase either, since there is none to be heard. Come on! Even a cheesy “tick tick pat tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick pat” snare solo would suffice for an army game.

And now, the final nail in the coffin. You have to use passwords to “save” progress. The last time I had to use a password to save an army game (or just about any game!) was when I was playing an actually much bigger piece of crap game you all had to have hated too... RAMBO on NES. All in all the great graphics can’t save this launch title from being MIA from my game library.