News Article: Reggie Confirms Nintendo Kicks AssNews Date: 03/24/06 05:23:17Source: Press Release
Nintendo Executive Vice-President of Sales and Marketing Reggie Fils-Aime Said In A Statement Today That "Nintendo has always kicked ass, and will continue to do so."REDMOND, Wash., March 24 /AP/ -- Earlier today, Reggie Fils-Aime, dubbed by his legions of adoring fans "The Regginator", confirmed in a press release that Nintendo was still kicking ass and taking names, contrary to popular belief.
"I've always held the position that Nintendo kicked ass. I thought it was obvious. But I called this press conference today to inform the disbelievers that asses are still being kicked over here at Nintendo. Nintendo has always kicked ass, and will continue to do so. I personally kicked three asses today."
When asked about Sony's amount of asses kicked compared to Nintendo, Reggie had this to say, "When you look at the pure numbers, then yes, it appears that Sony and Microsoft have kicked more ass than Nintendo. But what they don't always show is the quality of the asses we kick. Sony will walk around booting anyone in the bum and call it a kicked ass and be done with it. But here at Nintendo, we always make sure its an ass kicking you will remember. And, now with the phenomenal success of the Nintendo DS(TM), we've demonstrated that you kick an ass in a variety of ways, with voice chat and touch screen control. Also, with the success of titles such as Nintendogs(r) and the Brain Training(r) games, people of all ages are kicking ass and taking names, more so than ever before."
Reggie concluded the press conference by eating a PSP(TM) and then breaking a Xbox 360(TM) with his forehead.
T. M. Wright, Forum Fanboy
Topic: Reggie Confirms Nintendo Kicks Ass (Read 3054 times)
