Alright. I said I'd give you comments and I will. Moreover, I'll also tell you what I liked and what I'd improve.
First, when I heard this start, it brought a smile to my face. Awesome. Listening to it all the way through, I was like Maxi. Very good. The only thing that bugged me was the length and the giggling stopped being funny. Anyways, after listening to it 5 times in a row, I'm definitiely sure on the length. I think this song could be tightened up a bit. I'd also remove a lot of giggling. It started to annoy and then I just stopped hearing it completely. Now I realize this wasn't meant to be listened over and over but I did it to get my bearings and thoughts on the song.
Let's look at a more detailed breakdown and my suggestions of what I would do to change the song to my liking. That's really the key. I'm going to be applying my opinions and tastes to your music and they might not work for everyone since we all have different tastes. That's my disclaimer. You can consider it, but you don't have to take my suggestions. Onwards:
The first 25 seconds are great. You suddenly realize what you are listening to, nostalgia rushes in, there's some laughing to give you more of a smile. My only complaint here might seem petty but there's a reason for it. At 12 seconds, there is a cymbal clash that does nothing. It was jarring the first time I heard, it doesn't quite fit and moreover, when the cymbal clash is used again later in the song, it is often done to introduce or conclude a beat. Here, no beat is added. It is just a cymbal clash on its own.
At 25 seconds a beat starts. I would end the giggling here for awhile. At 48 seconds, some clapping is added to the beat. Then at the 1:00 mark, another beat is added. So, we've spent the last 35 seconds building up to this beat. Then, at the 1:12 mark, the beat slows down and seems to go back to where we are at the 48 second mark. So, we've building up and now we decrease. At the 1:25 mark, we add that missing beat back in. So, we increase again to where we were before at the 1:00 mark. And then at 1:38, the music changes.
The positive - the beat is pretty good and I like the way it works with the song and comes together. The critique - I can't help but feel this part could be tightened up a bit. I'm not sure if the beat should start sooner than the 25 second mark or if the elements come together. What's interesting is that after hearing that cymbol at the 12 second mark, we don't hear it again until the 1:00 mark to introduce the full beat. Again, why I say it is out of place. And do we need to put in the full beat, take it away and then put it back in? Of course, listening to the song and breaking it down, I know why you've done that. All through the song, the adding a beat, taking a beat away is a beat in itself, a rythym to the song. But, I don't think it works. There are times where I just the new sound that has been discovered to last instead of changing it's pacing a little fast, a little slower back and forth.
Listening to the two section, I.E. the music at 1:12 versus 1:25, I like the rythym that starts at 1:25 as a better lead into the change at 1:38, than the slower rythym that starts at 1:12. Of course, this is probably due to the fact that at 1:38, you again take out a beat and thus make the song seem to slow abit compared to 1:12 where that beat is already removed, thus a change in pacing isn't felt as much. Thus, I'd skip the beat removal at 1:12 and just keep the full beat going a little long and then changing it to:
1:38 - The space opera begins. Alright, so maybe it isn't anything opera like but that's the way I like to describe it. For some reason, it brings to my mind more space images than anything. I sort of get a metroid vibe to it. At least that's what it triggered in my brain. Maybe it's all the woo, woo, woo sounds that seem like an old 1950'S U.F.O. sound effect. Anyways, at 1:48, there is an increase in the beat again as the opera seems to be heading to it's high notes and then at the 2:00 mark, it again loses some that beat. But wait, at 2:13 the beat is back.
Again, this just comes back to my point about the yo-yoing of the beat and pace. With the extra beat, it seems to give the impression of the pace speeding up and then with its removal of the pace slowing down. Frankly, the sound is so good, I'd just like to hear it for awhile at a steady pace and hear that music unhurried and pure. This is like the meat of your song right here. The fact that you will repeat at least 2 other times, the same melody, in the song would suggest that. This is what you're beat has been leading up to, this is the emotional high of the song.
And then at 2:24, everything slows down and it is, oh so, excellant. After that uplifting space opera, that bright light of the Great Fairy's glow, everything has dimmed and we realize we are back in the dark cave and take a moment to reflect on the grandour we had just witnessed. Once again a little beat kicks in, this time at 2:37. I'd have left it out along with all the giggles still. The music is good here. It doesn't need a jolt every 12 seconds or so.
At 2:48, it changes up to what I'm going to refer to as synthesizer sound. Again, this sound is good without the effects of the cymbals or giggles or beat change at the 3:00 minute mark. Letting the yearning sound build on us.
At 3:11, the space opera returns. This time, I would suggest having all the beats going at once throughout it's whole part until the 3:36 mark instead os waiting until the 3:25 mark when the last beat is added in again to the song. Going by my compostition, we've heard the opera once before and we heard it with less of a beat. We've now gone through a period of relative slowness. A sort of pondering in the music. Instead of keeping that going, let's up the tempo a bit and make the opera a bit different from before by having all the beats going for this middle part.
At now at 3:36, we seem to have come full circle and are back at the start. Here's where we can add the giggling again if we so need it. We've forgotten about the other little fairies around us having been so entranced by the Great Fairy's beauty that we are reminded again of what brought us here and realize the journey we have just taken. But wait, the song isn't done yet. It's got a whole minute still. Consisting of what?
At the 4:00 mark, the synthesizer sound we heard at the 2:48 mark is back. Let's listen to that again. At 4:24, the great fairy opera is back with a slight beat change at 4:48 and then at 5:12 a sudden end as the song seems to be shot up to the heavens. Maybe Link is floating up from the cave ala Wind Waker.
What to do about the ending? Another reason why the song seems a bit longer than it should be. Part of the problem is it just seems to be looping now. We've gone back to the start which seems to signal a full journey as I said before but instead of it ending, we re-visit parts without adding anything new. As well,thesong just suddenly ends. I was expecting the notes to slow down.
My thoughts? Well, I'd cut out the Synth. Sure, it's good but we've heard it before and by only leaving it at one place in the song, it makes that moment special everytime the song is played, just like the part from 2:24 - 2:48. We could kick in the space opera again but do so at full beat and then slowly remove all the three different beats, again signifying to the listener's brain, this is wrapping up. With your last notes, you'd want to hold them longer such as going from quarter notes to half notes to the final note or two being whole notes. With that last note or so, you may still want to include that upswooshing sound at the end or even *gasp* a giggle. One final fairy laughing at the joy your visit has brought. And since there has been such restraint on the amount of giggling in the song, this one last giggle will not sound repetative.
Thus the story. You have arrived in the fountain. It is dark, it is peaceful, you hear laughter. You begin to awaken and look around in awe and began to see the various fairies and the white marble pool. Suddenly, the great fairy appears in all her splender and you take in this beauty. But the Great Fairy disappears, once more you are in a dark cave. You take in what you have just witnessed. You want to see the Great Fairy again. You need her magic for your quest. So, you walk forcefully to her throne. She appears again. Now with the beat, you accomplish your mission and get her blessing. Oh, it's still magical but now you are not muted and starstruck as when she first appeared. With her magic, you turn now and leave the cave, the sights and sounds of the cave filling your head as you head back to where you entered. You turn, once more, gaze at the Great Fairy and as you exit the cave, the image of the Great Fairy slowly exits from your mind as well. Was the whole thing just a dream?
Anyways, that's just the way I see it. Hope it helps.
Topic: Original song compositions (Read 91084 times)
