Dear Panic Button and Popo,
I am very saddened to hear about the developments that occurred last night. As I'm sure you are aware from my previous letters, I considered pokepal, an employee at Level 5, to be a friend of mine. I want to do all I can to help in the investigation and find those responsible. Allow me to tell you all I know.
Where were you last night?
There was a lot of mail today, so I helped out as a temporary postal worker. Everyone was so happy to get their letters! It felt good!
What was your involvement in the almost deadly fight last night that ended in a draw?
I was playing with a sparkler and saw something glowing in the grass. Looking a little closer, I noticed it was some bells, er, I mean, yen, dollars, moolah. Yay!
What did you have at the after-party?
I bought a fortune cookie and gobbled it up. I didn't really care about the fortune inside. I really just wanted the cookie.
What did you drink at the bar?
I bumped into a friend, so we sat on a bench and talked a lot. It was fun!
When was the last time you saw either of the victims last night?
I was sitting outside on a bench reading a book. Before I knew it, I'd slept for hours. And now I think I might have caught a cold. Sorry I can't help you there. I have no idea when I saw them last.
Who were you with throughout the night?
I invited everyone to my dessert party to celebrate the end of the week. They all loved my treats and insisted on paying for them!
Of course, I always feel that a successful interview involves questions from the interviewee. Therefore, I'd like to ask about something. It's come to my attention that lolmonade was supposedly an employee of Adult Swim Games to work on getting Duck Game ported to the Switch. But Duck Game is already scheduled to be coming to the Switch. Therefore, his being here doesn't make sense. However, that was just a cover story. lolmonade was actually an FBI agent looking into a conspiracy in the video game market of fradulent business practices and bribery and corruption. I received a curious letter from him yesterday that I couldn't make sense of at the time but with this new information now makes sense. He was asking all kinds of questions about Lucario from Sony and whether I could corroborate any rumors he had been hearing of Lucario's involvement in the Yakuza and organized crime. I could not because I didn't really know anyone from Sony and their situations. But now, I think he was on to something and was silenced because he knew that Lucario is Mafia! Is there a reward for solving this mystery and finding the perpetrator? Can I be deputy? Can I come along on the raid? Do you have a list of suspects? Because, even if you do or don't, I un-vote Lucario be put at the top of your list and am certain he is the one responsible for this.
Very innocent,
Aya Kyogoku