Hello,
Have you decided to give up on life? Are you tired of knowing what the cool kids are doing and just want them off your lawn? Does getting updates as to interesting events occurring on a forum you regularly frequent seem like a terrible idea because you hate everyone here?
If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, we first wish you the best of luck in the new nursing home you have arrived at. Secondly, you're in luck. Realizing that not everybody uses their mind rationally or want to do much thinking in life, we at the K.E.B.S. have created a provision to opt out of services. It just requires 3 easy steps.
Step 1 - Post in this thread stating your username and the reason you wish to un-subscribe as well as a quick acknowledgement that you accept this means you have only yourself to blame when everyone else on the forum gets together to do something and you are left looking like this:
Sorry bud. You chose to opt out of all the hot forum action going on.Step 2 - Find a mirror. Look at yourself in it. Think about what you are doing in life that has led you to this point. And think hard for once. No 30 second crap. You have to stand and stare for 30 minutes at least. Half an hour of reflecting is not asking much considering the 20 plus years of mistakes that brought you to this point by not thinking about your actions.
Sure, it looks bad. But to the captain's credit, he never made a mistake as huge as opting out of the K.E.B.S. so he's still ahead in the game of life.Step 3 - Upon making it to this step, our helpful agents will then contact you to fill out our unsubscribe document for you to complete which we will then store to ensure you are not contacted again. The document is 20 pages long and will be sent a page at a time via pm to ensure it is filled out correctly. When a page has been legally accepted, we will send you then next page and so on and so on until the document is finished. If at any time an error occurs and a page can not be legally accepted, we must begin the whole process over again at page 1.
There you have it. We believe in customer satisfaction and high quality service even if the customer is incredibly wrong and has stated they do not want or services anymore.*
We would like to take this moment to thank all our loyal users for their support and for choosing us as your messaging system of choice.
Sincerely,
K.E.B.S. Management
*
If you are opting out of our service because private messages also go to your e-mail, we completely understand and will unsubscribe you at once without you needing to go through Steps 2 and 3. K.E.B.S. was unaware of your user settings on this matter. You're still cool in our eyes. It's the people unsubscribing for lesser reasons we give the stink eye to.
Topic: Khushrenada Emergency Broadcast System Unsubscription Requests (Read 1589 times)
