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To whom it may concern at Zoo, Mastertronic, 505 Games, etc:
With the recent release of the wall of text otherwise known as the European Release Schedule for Early 2009, we have again found ourselves gasping for air at the pungent odor of the refuse which your so-called game developers are excreting. This sad, smelly, recurring endeavor stands in stark contrast to the reality in which we currently live.
Did you know we literally have set foot on the "moon" nearly 4 decades ago? Let me put this in words that even a simplistic rube like yourself could understand:
Some very smart, grownup human beings have created a machine that has catapulted them to that gray circle thing in the sky (called the moon); it is thousands and thousands and thousand of miles away and they made it home safely! Have you ever been on a long vacation with your family? I bet it wasn't as big as the one to the "moon". There is no air up there, and they have to travel as fast as a bullet to get there, plus it cost millions of valuable, rectangular green pieces of paper called "dollars". It was an amazing feat during difficult times. Do you know what a rectangle is? . . . . . Good!
But the very smart people made it all happen. They had ideas, or a group of ideas called a "vision" to make something never before done happen. Some of these people had other ideas, to catapult machines to other planets to see what they looked like. We learned many things and got to see many new pictures because of these peoples' ideas.
These things called ideas are amazing things. They are thoughts in your head that inspire you to do fun things (even kids can get them). Ever decided to catch a bug in a jar, invent a new way to use a hula hoop, or draw a pretty picture? These "ideas" can be used in any situation or job--at school or in your back yard or at the creek--and almost anyone can have them!
Except for some people. There are some people, that because of the way they were born, can not have any better ideas than your 2 year-old younger brother. They just shout, run around, and babble.
But the mostest people in the world DO have ideas.
About 25 years ago, a person that lives in Japan created a video game that was very fun. Japan is a tiny island country far, far way. Anyways, it was a game with many ideas where you could run, jump, eat mushrooms, play in pipes and try to collect coins and anyone could play it! This man went on to create many other games which were also fun; some were similar, and some were different. Did you know some apples are similar, and some are different? Same for doggies. But don't try to eat them! Yech!
Anyway, he had many great ideas which make many people happy to this very day. He recently had the vision (remember our vocab word from earlier?) to create a video game machine called the Wii which could detect motion in your controller and has more power than more than 2 of your old Nintendo Game Cubes put together. You can wave the controller like a sword, tennis racket, or other things and the character on your television screen which is plugged into your Nintendo Wii will do the same motions!
Since you are in charge of creating new ideas to play games on the Wii, I am worrying about you. There are so many ideas in the world, it confuses me about what you have been up to, because frankly, as ranking member of the Elitist Wii Owning Kibitzing Society, Jelly Belly Ballistic Beans and Bob the Builder: Festival of Fun are an affront to every red-blooded, launch-day-camping, motion-sensing-wand waving American.
I have told you about what other peoples' ideas have been like, even ideas from a long time ago. But it seems like you are one of the people I mentioned above that are like your brother that can only run, throw their food, poop, and babble. Are you getting your game ideas from crap you see around your living room? I know you can do better than that. I've seen some of the fun things you've made with your blocks. You learned many things at school, and can see what the bigger kids do at recess, so why can't you do it with games?
Always remember the stories of the smart people I told you about who made things that had never been seen before. Maybe one day you will be just like them.
Sincerely,
Joeseph N. Ebody.
Topic: Gamers' Rights Group Issues Open Letter (Read 1748 times)
