Err, this was at my last job, and he's not exactly stupid, but...
An old man walked into the store, looked around, and then walked over to ask me for help. This old man is a little old man, probably about 5'5", shriveled up, you could say. Wrinkly in every sense of the word, he wore what would be described as dusty clothing, a plaid shirt and jeans/pants.
I asked the man if I could help him find anything, and immediately, he confirms that he has no teeth.
"Min'ral oel," he says quickly, slurred, and under his breath.
"I'm sorry, what?" I couldn't make out what he had said, naturally.
"Min'ral oel," this time he speaks a little louder, enough for me to guess at what he's looking for.
I lead him to the mineral oil (yeah, that's what he was asking for), and he grabs a few bottles. For the record, mineral oil would be something you'd ingest to clean your body's pipes, at least, that's what we have it stocked for.
We walk back to the counter, and I ask the withered old man if there's anything else I could help him find.
Again, he mumbles under his breath, "Got anicondims?"
I ask for him to repeat himself, and he says, a little louder, "Condims?"
Condoms, the old crazy man wanted condoms! Of course, that's what the mineral oil was for!
"Which kind would you like?"
"Slipp'ry ones," he replies. The two or three bottles of mineral oil wouldn't be enough, it seems.
He picks out what he wants from our selection of lubricated condoms, I ring him up at the register, and once he leaves, my co-workers and I had a bit of a laugh about this old man.
I'm still puzzled about the woman that would sleep with the fellow, if he wasn't married and needed condoms, it really made you question some things. This was a pharmacy in a one-stoplight class town. A tiny place. He wasn't going to find any sort of illegal sex network, or anyone out on the streets. I certainly am still puzzled.