Topic: BREAKING NEWS! Khushrenada Threatens Reporter Over Unfavorable Story

[UltimatePartyBear]

Khushrenada Threatens Reporter Over Unfavorable Story

Your intrepid reporter has uncovered new details about the depraved campaign being run by staff hopeful Khushrenada.  Earlier today, Khushrenada was exposed for sexual deviancy in a landmark exposĂ© reprinted below:

Quote
Khushrenada Caught Soliciting Sexual Favors from Fellow Forum-Goers

In a recent talkback thread, forum mod candidate Khushrenada made lewd references to another forum member, possibly a minor. It began with Khushrenada trying to ingratiate himself with his target with compliments and personal information. The exchange culminated with the invitation, "They just can't stop loving me. Since you seem to be pretty handy with your fingers, maybe you'd like to join my party." Nintendo World Wiiport will have more on this sordid tale as it becomes available. Stay tuned.

Since that story went live, additional examples of Khushrenada's unfitness for duty have arisen.  He confessed to having several deeply disturbing hobbies, including, in his own words, "sleeping in manure and wearing clown make-up and open flatulance<sic> in public."  Later in the same thread, he also confessed to intentionally and openly defying the forum moderators.  Such flagrant abuse of the system is, in a word, troubling.

As if that weren't bad enough, Khushrenada's official response to these reports has been to privately threaten members of the news media.  I reprint here an actual PM sent by Khushrenada in response to the original article:

Quote
Good job, Partybear. You are the first real opponent I have seen yet. That's not saying much considering the weak field you have to compete with but still, an achievement like that should be recognized. Now retract the statement before I make you look like all my other opponents.

As you can see, Khushrenada sees enemies everywhere, even going so far as to assume that members of the press are actually running against him.  While the message begins complimentarily, not unlike the technique he uses when patrolling the boards for minors to join his "parties," he can't help but disparage his political opponents in the same breath.  The real story here, though, is that Khushrenada responds to unfavorable reporting with threats, implying that he will use humiliation tactics just like he employed against an early opponent, Sir_Stabbalot.

But is Khushrenada really capable of carrying through such threats?  Remember that after Sir_Stabbalot withdrew from the race, he was immediately hired by Khushrenada as part of his campaign staff.  Sir_Stabbalot has openly admitted to being possibly swayed by promises of cushy cabinet positions.  Did Khushrenada really defeat Sir_Stabbalot in the political game, or did he merely bribe the xenophobic author?

Regardless, PartyBear News Network remains unfazed.  Stay tuned for further developments.  

[that Baby guy]

Any news of Buchanan's campaign?  I'm expecting to accidentally vote for him, so I wanted to know how he was doing.

[UltimatePartyBear]

Political Gaffes Continue to Mount Up in Khushrenada Campaign

No sooner had the last article on Khushrenada's uncouth campaign tactics been published than new details came to light.  When threats failed to get PBNN to withdraw an unfavorable story, Khushrenada contacted the writer personally to offer a bribe.  PBNN would like to reassure its readers that the reporting you read here is uninfluenced by bribery, threats, or personal bias.

[Khushrenada]

I did? Wow. I must be sleep writing.

Let's see here what is going on:

Excessive self-promotion of false news article, some mud-slinging, more words being taken out of context, abuse of the system is not troubling, fake PM, Sir_Stabbalot should really make a comment already. Head of Public Relations, his name is getting dragged throught the mud and he's nowhere to be found.

Moving on, I'm always capable of carrying out my threats. That's what makes me a leader. No bribery was involved. If that was the case, my other opponents would have recieved a bribe of some sort also. Why only bribe one person? When people are ready to support me, I support them in turn.

And the second news blurb, only broad allegations with no specific details or substantial facts.

All in all, not bad. You remind me of myself. Also, I'm going to break from the norm and offer you a job as my publicist. You can around on the campaign bus with me and get the inside scoop on all the hot topics like what am eating and what my opinion is on Brittany Spears.

Be careful though. I might have to sue your news for defamation and slander. Of course, now you'll try to use this as proof that I use threats and bribes but that would be grasping at straws.  

[that Baby guy]

But isn't that a threat or bribe of exact sorts?

[Khushrenada]

Nope.

[that Baby guy]

Are you sure?  Perhaps this will help:

bribe /bra?b/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[brahyb] Pronunciation Key - noun, verb, bribed, brib·ing.
–noun
1.   money or any other valuable consideration given or promised with a view to corrupting the behavior of a person, esp. in that person's performance as an athlete, public official, etc.: The motorist offered the arresting officer a bribe to let him go.

threat      /?r?t/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[thret] Pronunciation Key noun
1.   a declaration of an intention or determination to inflict punishment, injury, etc., in retaliation for, or conditionally upon, some action or course; menace: He confessed under the threat of imprisonment.

I mean, bribe and threat pretty much define the exact thing you did.  I don't see how it could be considered anything else.  Perhaps Party Bear was simply reporting on the future.

[UltimatePartyBear]

Buchanan Voting Jokes: Old and Tired Yet? Probably

Frequent voting-joke punchline Pat Buchanan, while not actually running in anything related to NWR, may have some influence here anyway thanks to a contingent of Floridian voters.  Worried about the consequences, regular poster thatguy wrote, "What happens if I accidentally vote for Pat Buchanan? I am from Florida, you know."  Additional requests for information on Pat Buchanan's theoretical standing in the race have since come in.  PBNN has uncovered a shocking revelation.  If people vote for someone accidentally, then their votes must not be influenced by any information they may or may not have, so no actual research or reporting on the subject is necessary or even prudent.

[Khushrenada]

Have you ever heard of a warning? Let's see how that is defined.

cautionary advice about something imminent (especially imminent danger or other unpleasantness)

And let's look at your bribe definition:

money or any other valuable consideration given or promised with a view to corrupting the behavior of a person, esp. in that person's performance as an athlete, public official, etc

First of all, the job has no pay so there I doubt Partybear considers it that valuable. Second, reporting on me is what he is doing already so I would not be corrupting him. And third, I like his writing style and would want him to continue writing for me that way so my job offer would not be affecting his performance.



But why am I wasting my time tearing down lesser people's arguements? I guess it's because they can be dealt with so fast. But a true adversary, ah, that takes some time and careful planning. Fortunately, it is well worth the effort when the adversary falls for the trap. Ah, life is good.

[that Baby guy]

Or, could it be the Pat Buchanan is a metaphor or symbol for this election.

Hmmm...Pat Buchanan

PB

Party Bear

Something fishy is going on here...


Oh, and Khush, the difference between a warning and a threat is that you are telling him you will perform something damaging to him if he does not follow your will.  A warning is a message of danger, whereas a threat is an attempt to influence actions to the will of the threatener.

[ShyGuy]

I don't know what to believe anymore. I have been deceived by the biased media! They are all a bunch of Sony fanboys!

[Khushrenada]

That's easy. Trust me. At least you know what my motives are. Election. PartyBear on the other hand has this to say regarding the podcasts:

Quote
I finally, in a fit of boredom-driven insanity, listened to some of your podcasts.

Quite the stirring testimony. But, he also ended the message by hoping

Quote
that I'm never in a position to listen to a podcast again.

Not to mention Stephen Colbert has much to say on the danger and threat of bears. Now they are controlling our media? I say no. We must reject their attempts to overthrow democracy.

Also, I was wondering if you'd like to join my party and be my podcast guy, Shyguy. You could help prep me before any appearance and let me know what to talk about and what to avoid and other suggestions.



Finally to thatguy,

Again, I know the difference between a warning and a threat. Do you? What is this threat you are accusing me of?

[that Baby guy]

Quote
Originally posted by: Khushrenada
All in all, not bad. You remind me of myself. Also, I'm going to break from the norm and offer you a job as my publicist. You can around on the campaign bus with me and get the inside scoop on all the hot topics like what am eating and what my opinion is on Brittany Spears.

Be careful though. I might have to sue your news for defamation and slander.

Anyways, I was just saying with the PB stuff that Party Bear may be the trick person on all the ballots.

[nickmitch]

Khushrenada approached me sexually.

Quote
Originally posted by: Khushrenada

Quote
Originally posted by: TVman
THIS JUST IN!!
TVman Has Never Solicited Sexual Favors from Fellow Forum-Goers

Would you like to start?

I may need consoling.

[that Baby guy]

There there.  Just remember you have your Haiku and refrigerators.

[nickmitch]

*sniff* It was written on a friend's shirt.

[that Baby guy]

How about you celebrate your life in respect to the fact that you're not Ian?

[nickmitch]

Burn. I wish Ian wasn't scared of the funhouse, so he could retaliate.

[ShyGuy]

Wait, Somebody is starting a funhouse podcast?

[Khushrenada]

Approached you sexually? All I did was ask you to start soliciting sexual favors from fellow forum-goers. It would really help me cast you in a bad light. So would you like to start doing that already. Oh well, at least I have proof of how you throw out baseless accusations and try to play on public sympathy.


But where is the reporter PartyBear to tell the public of TVMan's transgressions? That's right. Nowhere. He is interested in reporting and investigating the other candidates to check their stories or to try to spin them as villains. Oh no. I think we can all see their is a clear bias here. I wouldn't be suprised if TVMan is bribing PartyBear himself. In fact, I have a PM that I intercepted from TVMan to PartyBear. This is what it says:

Quote
Hi there PartyBear. You always seem to be the smartest person on this forum, second only to Khushrenada. But maybe if we team up, we can finally take Khushrenada down and you can be the smartest. My plan is this. You will write a whole bunch of false newsstories on Khushrenada since I'm too lazy to bother and you will attack him. I, on the other hand, will play the victim card and get a victory from people feeling sorry for the way I've been treated. You interested?

And it appears PartyBear has taken him up on his offer. Pathetic. You should all be ashamed of yourselves and your weak plans.

Quote
Wait, Somebody is starting a funhouse podcast?

That's a great idea. No wonder I want you to join my party as the minister of podcasts. Are you up for the challange?

[ShyGuy]

What sweet kickbacks would I get from lobbyists?

[UltimatePartyBear]

SPECIAL WEEKEND UPDATE
Political Hopeful Khushrenada Shows Signs of Mental Illness

PBNN has uncovered shocking new evidence that suggests staff candidate Khushrenada may be suffering from severe depression and undifferentiated schizophrenia.

Recently, an article was printed that asserted that Khushrenada attempted to use a bribe to get the story of his disgusting sexual pastimes retracted.  In the interests of serving the peace, the PM obtained as evidence was not printed at that time.  In the PM, Khushrenada wrote, "C'mon take down the story. I'll be your friend."  This offer of friendship was taken to be a bribe, but Khushrenada denied it vehemently.  There can be only two possibilities.  First, that Khushrenada is lying to the voting public to cover his shame.  Alternatively, that Khushrenada honestly does not consider an offer of friendship to be a bribe.  How can that be?  A close examination of an exchange between the candidate in question and an outspoken Buchanan supporter reveals that Khushrenada believes that a bribe is something of value offered to corrupt behavior.  Obviously, in the original report, Khushrenada was seeking to corrupt a reporter's behavior by requesting the removal of an article, so the alleged bribe attempt met that part of the definition.  What's left, then, is the value of the offer.  If Khushrenada truly believes that an offer of friendship could not be a bribe, then he must believe his friendship has no value.  This is a sign of such severely low self esteem that this reporter can hardly believe it's true.  Khushrenada is clearly the most depressed individual in the history of NWR politics.

That's not all.  Khushrenada's attempts to quell the unrest stirred up by these shocking revelations have been disorganized and almost entirely fanciful.  Khushrenada has made claims to be able to do the impossible, such as intercept PMs, and made up entire messages to pretend to quote to attempt to discredit his detractors.  At first, this reporter thought these misguided acts were the typical moves of a corrupt politician, but other events have made it questionable that Khushrenada is in full control of his faculties.  Among the myriad examples of mud-slinging that have permeated this campaign, Khushrenada appealed to readers' fear of bears in a feeble attempt to discredit a member of the press.  It appears that Khushrenada is actually under the delusion that a bear is writing these articles.  What kind of person would take a forum alias or avatar so literally?  This is a clear sign of intellectual deterioration and delusion, major symptoms of schizophrenia.  As if that weren't enough evidence, Khushrenada also attacked the reporter's opinions on subjects completely unrelated to the matter of the election.  Oddly, the opinions expressed in the quotes did not reflect badly on the reporter's ability to fairly cover the election, which was apparently the motive for quoting them in the first place.  Such flailing about is indicative of disorganized thought processes, another strong sign of schizophrenia.

Everyone at PBNN hopes sincerely that Khushrenada will seek the help he needs before it's too late.

[UltimatePartyBear]

TVman: Too Boring to Report On?

Sources have revealed that TVman, unlike his opponent Khushrenada, is entirely too boring to write about.  PBNN will continue to bring you updates on this developing story as they happen.

[Sir_Stabbalot]

I am starting to wonder if PartyBear is really a correspondent at Fox News. Recent new articles from him display huge amounts of spin and fabrications. This, fellow citizens, is yellow journalism at its worst. I advise all to ignore these rants. I am obligated, however, as head of Public Relations to deal with such lies. I will break down his flawed points as follows:

Quote
Recently, an article was printed that asserted that Khushrenada attempted to use a bribe to get the story of his disgusting sexual pastimes retracted.  In the interests of serving the peace, the PM obtained as evidence was not printed at that time.  In the PM, Khushrenada wrote, "C'mon take down the story. I'll be your friend."  This offer of friendship was taken to be a bribe, but Khushrenada denied it vehemently.  There can be only two possibilities.  First, that Khushrenada is lying to the voting public to cover his shame.  Alternatively, that Khushrenada honestly does not consider an offer of friendship to be a bribe.  How can that be?  A close examination of an exchange between the candidate in question and an outspoken Buchanan supporter reveals that Khushrenada believes that a bribe is something of value offered to corrupt behavior.  Obviously, in the original report, Khushrenada was seeking to corrupt a reporter's behavior by requesting the removal of an article, so the alleged bribe attempt met that part of the definition.  What's left, then, is the value of the offer.  If Khushrenada truly believes that an offer of friendship could not be a bribe, then he must believe his friendship has no value.  This is a sign of such severely low self esteem that this reporter can hardly believe it's true.  Khushrenada is clearly the most depressed individual in the history of NWR politics.

The fact you attempt to put value on friendship shows your value of it.

Quote
Khushrenada has made claims to be able to do the impossible, such as intercept PMs, and made up entire messages to pretend to quote to attempt to discredit his detractors.  At first, this reporter thought these misguided acts were the typical moves of a corrupt politician, but other events have made it questionable that Khushrenada is in full control of his faculties.

Examples, please. Right now I see one, and cannot even state that these claims are legitimate. Who knows? Maybe the PM was sent to Khush by mistake? What journalist doesn't site their sources? One who is not a journalist, but a bullshitter.

Quote
Among the myriad examples of mud-slinging that have permeated this campaign, Khushrenada appealed to readers' fear of bears in a feeble attempt to discredit a member of the press.  It appears that Khushrenada is actually under the delusion that a bear is writing these articles.  What kind of person would take a forum alias or avatar so literally?  This is a clear sign of intellectual deterioration and delusion, major symptoms of schizophrenia.

Bears are a real threat to our society sometimes. Haven't you ever seen that movie where those two guys survive a plane crash in the wilderness and a giant bear starts stalking them? Certainly, the can also be cute and cuddly, but they can, like any species, pose a threat. However, let me point out this: Is a man who masquerades around dressed as a bear with a party hat in any position to speak on the sanity of others?

Quote
As if that weren't enough evidence, Khushrenada also attacked the reporter's opinions on subjects completely unrelated to the matter of the election.  Oddly, the opinions expressed in the quotes did not reflect badly on the reporter's ability to fairly cover the election, which was apparently the motive for quoting them in the first place.  Such flailing about is indicative of disorganized thought processes, another strong sign of schizophrenia.

Remember Khush's actions in our forum games? His mind is in perfect condition. His plans are webs within webs, and one does not know they are entangled until it is too late. He has been able to turn bandwagons with a single post. Imagine if that great wit was brought to the aid of NWR. You can never tell if he was actually wrong, or weather that defeat was merely another feint in his grand strategy.  

[nickmitch]

Khush: I accuse you of perjury.

Party Bear: Ouch