- Today's my birthday, yaaaaaaay
- FYI, I'm going to Japan for a year, starting next month
- One time I was so depressed I let my stalker inside, but she got so bored she left after twenty minutes and I never saw her again.
- Another time I was at lunch and I ran up to this hot girl and I slapped a tampon I had opened and drenched in barbeque sauce on her back, and ran. This one landed me ISS (In-School Suspension).
- innocence is a resource that, once lost, can only be regained through a lobotomy