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Messages - the asylum

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Best gen... in Bizarro World!

The next 2D Metroid will play like Smash TV
top down 360 directional shooter.


I'm actually ok with this

As long as it doesn't control as horribly as Other M, it's fine

...oh, and as long as it doesn't have a nonsensical story being force-fed on us like Other M, it's fine

..........and as long as it doesn't completely **** all over Samus like Other M, it's fine

.............. actually just as long as it isn't anything remotely like Other M at all, it's fine

Nintendo Gaming / Re: Nintendo's E3 Wii U games recap
« on: June 10, 2014, 10:07:01 PM »
With the exception of Bayo 1&2 and Smash, the rest of 2014 looks like another wasteland. Forgive me if I'm not overly excited about Hyrule "Link's Button-Mash Training" Warriors. And Sonic Boom- unless there's an option to turn off 10 consecutive minutes of inane canned dialouge, no thanks. Watch_Dogs.... what watch_dogs?

2015 though, high holy **** it looks stacked. X, Starfox, and an actual Zelda game! And Splatoon has got me hype as ****.

Nintendo Gaming / Re: Bayonetta 2, now with twice as much Bayonetta
« on: June 10, 2014, 09:57:25 PM »
welp this seals it for me then

day one purchase confirmed

Nintendo Gaming / Re: Splatoon!!
« on: June 10, 2014, 09:55:27 PM »
Well it's not the FPS Mario Paintball I had in mind, but it's close enough i guess

me gusta

Nintendo Gaming / Re: Miyamoto working on StarFox for the Wii U!!
« on: June 10, 2014, 09:49:55 PM »
If only a F-Zero game is announced for the Wii U.

There's always next year

There's always next year

*squirms in straightjacket, rocks slowly against padded wall*

There's always next year....

Never thought I'd begin to reconsider EA as my most hated developer...

I'm pretty sure EA also has loads of unfinished Wii U games waiting to be released.

Oh wait...

If there's one thing I can't stand it's stick-and-carrot bullshit like this.

Never thought I'd begin to reconsider EA as my most hated developer...

The only good things R/S/E introduced were abilities and the box organization. The music was tinny, annoying, and forgettable. Also completely cut off from Gens I and II, with no way to legitimately complete the Pokedex if you weren't living in Japan. A ton of the Pokegear features from Gen II that made it so much better than Gen I were also missing, and no day/night function.

Thankfully, Gen VI takes second place to Gen V as best Gen. So even though I was so sure there wouldn't be a R/S/E remake, I'm still glad that there is.

...which brings me to wonder: If the last two remakes were intended to let us import the Gen I/II legendaries to our current games, and Gen VI is still young, what precedent does this set? Can we expect to see BLAZING FIRE RED and LUSH LEAF GREEN next?

Nintendo Gaming / Re: Wii U in Review (News & Rumor Consolidation)
« on: June 09, 2014, 12:00:04 AM »
If Mario Maker is real (pixels, photoshops, etc), I wonder how much depth it will have. I myself have fooled around extensively with Valve's Hammer Editor (which is really primitive compared to other editors like UnrealEd) and made some TF2 maps, so I'd like to think my skill ceiling is as high as my ambition ceiling.

Obviously doing things like importing custom textures isn't going to happen (or will it? There is a USB port on the console after all...), so I'm thinking it's going to be some copy-paste job with pre-made assets, like SSBB's stage maker. Which would be kind of disappointing for me- I like to do some very very strange things in my TF2 maps...

TalkBack / Re: What Could Nintendo’s Mystery 3DS Game Be?
« on: June 07, 2014, 11:24:03 PM »
Even if it's on the 3DS, a new F-Zero will make me **** my pants. Then I'll put on another pair of pants and **** them too.

Nintendo Gaming / Re: This may be the best E3 rumor ever...
« on: June 06, 2014, 12:07:38 AM »
F-Zero U with an incredibly extensive track/texture/vehicle editor: Yes please
Yet another SMB ROM hacker being sold for $20-40: No

This. This this this this this and this.

I've toyed around with the F-Zero X editor a bit (though I won't say how I came by it ;) ), and using the on-screen buttons to do real complex tracks was a pain. Just imagine how much easier it could be with a touch screen

.... too bad imagining it is likely as far as we'll ever get to it, though. Gotta milk that Mario some more

TalkBack / Re: The Origins of Mario Kart
« on: May 29, 2014, 07:41:13 PM »
please, no more talk of f-zero. my poor broken heart cant take it any more

TalkBack / Re: Capcom Employee Comments on Lack of Mega Man Titles
« on: May 28, 2014, 08:15:50 AM »
gotta stick it to inafune moar

Nintendo Gaming / Re: The Mystery of Nintendo's 2014 E3.
« on: May 27, 2014, 07:50:56 PM »
We'll probably be seeing a little more of the mysterious Fire Emblem/SMT crossover, and a LOT of Smash 4/Hyrule Warriors/Bayonetta2.

As for new projects, I know better than to expect anything both outside of the usual (ie: Mario, Zelda, Donkey Kong) or good (bad meaning Wii Fit, Mario Party, and whatever this future Quality of Life failure is going to be), so that discounts Starfox and F-Zero.

TalkBack / Re: No Wii U or 3DS Games from Ubisoft at E3 2014
« on: May 22, 2014, 07:35:56 PM »
You know it's bad when not even Ubisoft will put their shovelware on your platform.

Finally, the most comfortable controller ever made is coming back

You've done good for a change, Nintendo.

TalkBack / Re: Nintendo to Hold Two Evening Presentations at E3
« on: May 19, 2014, 10:33:11 PM »
One of the things I hated about Ruby/Sapphire was that you couldn't legitimately fill your Pokedex, even if you lived in Japan. Yes, the giant data structure change was like rebuilding the entire game, and yes, Japan got the unlocks for the islands that had Deoxys, Lugia, et al, but there was no day/night function, so getting Umbreon was impossible- Contrary to the series mantra, you could not catch them all. And that's a big enough travesty.

TalkBack / Re: Nintendo to Hold Two Evening Presentations at E3
« on: May 19, 2014, 12:45:06 PM »
Metroid would maybe warrant a 90 minute thing but only because of all of the apologies they would need to make after Other M.

I continue to be amazed by how many people hated other m. I loved it

Some people also like nailing their junk to the ground

(except it could have used a better control scheme)

This is just one reason everyone hated it. It tried to be a traditional 2D and Prime at once, and ended up being nothing but a pain

And don't even get me started on the "story."

TalkBack / Re: Nintendo to Hold Two Evening Presentations at E3
« on: May 19, 2014, 02:03:21 AM »
same thing, really

TalkBack / Re: Nintendo to Hold Two Evening Presentations at E3
« on: May 19, 2014, 12:40:04 AM »
So if I'm reading this right, Nintendo is doing one whole Direct on SSB4, and another whole Direct on just one 3DS game?

Let's be honest with ourselves here, there's currently no console-saving killer app on the plate for the Wii U.

"BOO!!! BOO AND HISS!!!" you say, "There's Smash Bros! Hyrule Warriors! and Bayonetta 2!"

Smash Bros is Smash Bros. Yes, it will definitely get a few million units moving. But enough to "save" the Wii U? I wouldn't put any money on it. It's a massive gap between what the Wii U should have been selling at this point and what it actually is selling at this point. Let's also take into account the people who bought a Wii U just for eventual Smash Bros, like me. For the most part, Smash 4 is just preaching to the choir.

Bayonetta 2? Let's take this into perspective. The first Bayonetta was one of those core games that were very elusive on the Wii, published on both the 360 and PS3, and the hype train behind it was on full steam. Pretty much since it's announcement it was hyped by EVERYONE as the hottest **** to ever be shat. And it only did 2 mil across both platforms. And even after all the gushing glowing reviews it still struggled to sell. I don't have high hopes for Bayonetta 2 being the Wii U's shining savior.

Hyrule Warriors, hm. It's Zelda, we've already seen this before. If we could have a near-unanimous praise for Mario 3D World from every professional review site (and GameSpot) and have it make minimal impact on sales, I don't think Warriors is going to be the miracle pill either.

Outside of those three, what else is there? Well I guess there's X, but as good as it looks it doesn't scream system seller to me. For the most part, JRPGs don't exactly appeal to the unwashed North American masses.

So what could save the Wii U? If big guns like Smash and Mario don't do the trick, I don't think anything will. And let's face it, the U is NEVER getting something on the scale of Titanfall or Last of Us. It's almost all in Nintendo's hands at this point. They had a whole year to wow people before the PS4 and Xbone showed up, and they just cruised along like nothing could possibly go wrong. "Big developers thumbing their noses at underpowered hardware? Pfffft, no problem! We've got Mario Party! The casuals will eat that **** up without hesitation! What're these new "smartphone" things, anyway?"

I'm a huge mark for 90s pro wrasslin, and to me, the whole Wii U situation just SCREAMS "nWo" to me. WCW struggled for years to compete with the WWF. Even after bringing in big WWF stars like Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage, they barely made a dent in McMahon's pocketbook. Then all of a sudden, Bischoff came out with the nWo stable, and for the next year and a half, they absolutely slaughtered the WWF. They were pulling in money like nobody's business- Starrcade 1997 made a 1.7 million gate. The profits were pouring in, completely blinding the growing problem underneath: the undercard matches were fantastic, but the main draws, the promotion's heavy hitters, put on horrible, horrible matches, and they got worse with each passing PPV. The big problem was, WCW looked the same in 1999 as it did in 1996. And once the WWF lucked out on Austin and Rock, WCW took a freefall. The nWo was pushed and bloated, splintered and reformed, ended and reborn, hundreds of times, and people just stopped giving a ****. The real talent had already jumped ship for the WWF, and WCW was left with nothing but a slow, painful death.

TL;DR- One trick ponies like the Wii and the nWo are just that- one trick ponies. Money has a tendency to cause blindness.

As retardedly unlikely and impractical as it is, if Nintendo merged with Valve I think I'd drink myself into a coma in celebration

Well, it's good to see Nintendo isn't completely lost in the past

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