Topics

[Vudu]

601

I'M BACK / Rogue Mafia: Day 10. The Offshore Oil Platform.

« on: April 17, 2007, 06:58:52 PM »

Heh heh heh. Waluigi still going strong, continuing my longtime story of larceny.

Still despondant over my brother's death, I wandered the streets thinking about all the good times we had together. Liek the time, we both raced togeth in the Mario Kart circuits. He would steer the car into all sorts of obstacles and I would have to hold on to the back of the vehicle for dear life as he continued driving with me being dragged behind. He always said he did it because he loved me and wanted to help me toughen up. It worked. I have awesome upper body strength as you can tell from any photo taken of me. Walking along various streets, I came upon a Coke vending machine. I bought at least twelve bottles and drowned my sorrows with them, thinking of Wario and his Coke contract. "This is for you, ya big lug," I said.

Afterwards, I really regretted doing that because man, was my body pumped up on sugar and caffine. My mind raced over so many things and I just had the urge to run and keep running. Then, the sugar levels in me crashed and I just collapsed. Lying in a ditch, I realized that I needed to find some place to rest. That's when I heard the sound of a vehicle approach and an agary yells were coming from it. The vehicle pulled over close to where I was. I lay motionless and strained with all my might to hear what was being said. All I heard was a voice say, "Just add it to the body over there!" and then a heavy object fell on top off me and the vehicle peeled away. A pushed the object off of me and then examined it in the moonlight. It turns out it was Fawful or as he's known around here Vudu. Appearently, his non-sensical ravings had driven some people nuts and they killed him and dumped him off in this ditch.

Well, let me tell you, having a dead body thrown on top of you at night does a lot to get a person's energy back-up and I was off and running again. After a mile, I came upon a seedy rundown motel. Since I still needed a place to rest for the night and didn't feel like lying in a ditch with dead bodies, I figured what the heck. So, I haggled over the price of how much it would cost. I thought it should be free since the fact that the motel would be able to advertise the fact that I stayed there would be payment enough. They agreed to let me stay there for free if I swore never to tell anyone I had been within 500 yards of the place. Well, free is free but man did they just lose outon attracting customers.

Well, I went straight to bed. But I was woken up during the night by a scream. A crowd gathered to a room where the scream had come from. Inside, Pittboi (or as he put on the guest registery list, Medusa) lay dead. It seems he had been stabbed in the shower. Everyone agreed that it was just terrible. Whoever heard of being killed in a shower while staying at a motel? You just don't expect these kinds of things. Anyways, even though there was this terrible scene around us, people sudden;y noticed that the great Waluigi was with them. People started talking to the owner of the hotel over this fact. No doubt they probably wanted to know why they weren't informed they had the privilage of staying at a hotel with me. I tried to explain to the manager the benefit of having me around. Well, soon after, pretty much everyone began to check out of the motel. I guess the death was too much for them. Then, the manager came over and demanded I leave the premises. He started arguing that I was ruining his business. So, we argued for a little while and all of sudden I woke up in another ditch outside the city.

It was dawn and the sun was just rising. Slowly rising to my feet, I began to walk back to the city going over in my mind all that had happened yesterday. That's when I suddenly remembered some if the things that raced through my mind during my Coke binge. Namely that, Oohhboy's identity was stolen by the brains of the mafia and that Crimm was killed by the mafia and was just a townie. Piecing that information with what I already knew, I realized that all the signs pointed to the gang of thieves hiding out on the offshore oil platform in Rogueport bay. I had to hurry there for my chance to finally catch up with the thieves.

And so, Day 10 went something like this:  

602

I'M BACK / Rogue Mafia: Day 9. The Seedy Rundown Motel.

« on: April 16, 2007, 07:09:48 PM »

Placeholder for story. Yeah, I know I haven't been keeping up with the story of late but I have the day off tomorrow so I can catch up then.

603

I'M BACK / My name is not Unclebob.

« on: April 16, 2007, 06:14:56 PM »

And thank goodness for that.

This is a topic for forum members who's names aren't Unclebob.  

604

I'M BACK / Rogue Mafia: Day 8. The Dormant Volcano.

« on: April 15, 2007, 06:41:40 PM »

Waaaah ha ha ha! Waluigi here. Keepin things real, yo fools. Giving mad props to the mad dogs of mafia mastermindery...iness...... Oh. I really don't know what I'm doing anymore.

But, I do know this. During the night, someone threw a brick through my hotel window with a note attatched to it. The note told me to go back to the old castle and instructions on where to go in there. It further teased me by saying that I would find all that I needed for tomorrow's mission. But, I was curious now. I wanted to search the castle right away. Plus, the hotel manager kicked me out over the broken window incident. That and he caught me "borrowing" all the free shampoos and towels I could find in the hotel. And I don't think he liked when I was caught peeing in the swiming pool. But is that a crime? Really, I want to know is that a crime? Because then I could it add it to my list of crimes committed. I notice that some other people around here have really big lists of villainy and mine is starting to look weak. Of course, I've always been quality over quantity and I tell people but why can't I have both?

Well, I'm starting to ramble. The important thing is I went to the castle, followed the directions and found myself in a giant underground labratory. The thing was so huge, it had a rocketship stored in it. Suddenly, an automated message began to play. It instructed me to go into the rocketship and buckle in. I was going to the moon base! But, who did this for me? Who would have found all this and arranged for me to go to the moon? Was it a trap? Well, Waluigi never falls for those. So, I cautiously entered the ship and proceeded to the cockpit. Then, after placing bets on a few rounds of fights, (Little Waluigi did real good, he beat up a couple smaller roosters) I went to the pilot command center. Kicking open the door and throwing Liitle Waluig through the open door, I waited outside. Then, I heard the some familar screams as the rooster attacked.

"Wario!" I cried, jumping into the room.

"Get this thing off me," cried Wario, fighting with the rooster.

"Little Waluigi! Do you know what this is?" I asked, holding out a jar of mayo and a bag of bread. Little Waluigi saw that and sqwaked and fled.

"Problem solved. I'm the superstar!" I cried triumphantly. Then I turned to Wario. "All right stoolie. What have you got for me?"

"You gotta help me Waluigi, I'm still loosing! Look at how loose my overalls are. If I was fat that'd be one thing, but my physique was perfect - I was slim and muscular. The fact that I'm getting thinner is a very bad thing. I'm malnourished, Waluigi. I need money so I can buy more food. You got any gold I could borrow?"

How sad. I thought to myself. My brother has forgotten about his 15 step plan for riches and is now a babbling fool. The rocket blasted off and we made our trip to the moon in silence. Well, at least I was silent. Wario babbled nonsense the whole way there. When we landed on the moon, we could see the base in the distance. It looks like we may have finally found the gang of thieves after all. We raced to put on our spacesuits. Wario cheated. He just took a stylus and drew a circle around his head.

"Well, good luck........ to me," he said and then raced out on to the moon.

I kept struggling to get my suit on and when I was finally done, I couldn't see Wario anymore in the distance. I trudged onwards to the moonbase.  

[Thatguy]

605

I'M BACK / Rogue Mafia: Day 7. The Moon Base.

« on: April 14, 2007, 07:55:06 PM »

Waluigi here. Still continuing my story of criminal genius in action.

I arrived at the abandoned mine and quickly grabbed a flashlight and entered. After walking some time, I came upon another figure ahead of me in the distance. I started to creep up to find out who it was when I stubbed my foot on a mine cart rail. The resulting noise caused the figure to see I was behind him and flee. I ran in pursuit. As we ran, there was a sudden rumble in the cave and part of it collapsed on the figure. I rushed over to the collapse and began pulling away rocks. I soon found the person trapped underneath. It was my stoolie. I worked as fast as I could to pull him from out of the rocks and after some time was finally able to do so. Slowly, the eyes of my informant opened and blinked for awhile.

"Are you ok?" I asked, "Can your hear me? Do you need any help?"

But my informant sprang to his feet and said:

"WARIO LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Waha, you didn't even know it was me, did you Waluigi? That's because WARIO IS THE MASTER OF DISGUISE. Actually, I'm the MASTER OF EVERYTHING, especially Mafia, or as I like to call it, WAFIA. Drink Coke."

"Of course I knew it was you, stupid. Who else would I turn to for information? We're brothers for crying out loud. And some disguise! You just wore a trenchcoat. Anyone can recognize you," I argued.

"You didn't realize it was me when I was dressed as WaDaisy the other night?" he replied.

"That was you? What... the.." I said stunned.

"Master of Disguise baby!", he answered.

"I.... I.... have to get me bearings," I said, feeling very nauseous and walked away leaving my informant to start gloating away.

"Shank it! Ahh hah hah hah!" he called out as I ran away to the entrance of the cave.

But on my way back out, I ran upon a group of people coming into the cave.

"Where are you all going?" I asked.

"There's been an explosion in the cave. Appearantly, some nut was setting off Ba-bombs in the cave in an attempted robbery. Anyways, it resulted in a large ba-boomb called Punchinello going off and causing a cave-in," explained a passerby.

That explained the rumble that caused the cave-in, I thought. I went in the direction of the people and soon we came into a room that had just been freshly blasted. People were clearing out rubble everywhere. As this clean-up was going on, I began to do an investigation of my own. After awhile, someone suddenly called out that they had found a body. Everyone hurried to see who it was. It turns out it was Croco, although that was just a nickname. According to the documents in his wallet, his real name was Thatguy. No wonder he went by the name Croco. I decided to leave the cave since there was too many people around and investigate this death on my own.

Leaving the cave, I went back to town. Unfortunately main street was closed because the dignitary of Xylvania was visiting and the city was throwing him a parade. As I waited for the parade to pass by, shots rang out. There were some screams and then like an explosion, the news of what happened rushed through the crowd. Kaiser NuclearSpeed Vlad had just been assassinated. I quickly hightailed it out of there. If some nut was willing to shoot Kaiser Vlad, imagine what would happen if he saw an even greater dignitary like myself.

In my rush to escape though, I came upon some very interesting information. The big rumor was that the gang of thieves had taken a rocket ship and blasted off to their moonbase. For once, a rumor that didn't sound like total nonsense. I was definitely going to look into this.

And so Day 7 came and happened to go something like this:  

["Vote Thatguy he's mafia"]

606

I'M BACK / Roguy Mafia: Day 6. The Abandoned Mine.

« on: April 13, 2007, 08:25:49 PM »

Waluigi still going strong on his recap of wrongdoing.

So, after the fiasco of yesterday and the Ing-controlled Pirate, I needed a fresh perspective. So of course, I went to see my stoolie friend who never stops talking about the same things. But this time, I was to meet him at The Seedy Casino. This suited me just well since I wanted to go there anyways after the information I recieved yesterday. I was to meet him at the Blackjack table. Sure enough, he was there when I arrived. I sat down beside him. Another wager, he asked. And of course I accepted. Things were going ok at first. I only lost half my money after the first two hands. But on the third hand, my informant sudden;y spoke up and said, "Hit me." I immediately turned and swung an uppercut on him, followed by a kick to the gut and then gave a punishing body slam when he fell to the ground. I learned later what the term hit me meant in Blackjack but it worked out better this way. Fearing another Waluigi beatdown, my informant broke down right away. "Please. Let's stop this betting nonsense. Why don't I just tell you all I know and you let me live?" he pleaded as his lip began to swell.

"Wahhhh. Now you're talking. Spill the beans, squawker!" I demanded.

"Clearly, you're thirsty for refreshment, and knowledge. You should obey your thirst by drinking Sprite, and listening to what I have to say. And what I have to say is this: before Sessha died, he gave me with the following message: "Vote Thatguy he's mafia" explained the stoolie.

"I'll think about it," I said, pretending to act nonchalant about the whole thing. Then I gathered up my chips. That's when I was struck with a brilliant idea. I reached over and began to take all my informant's chips as well. He seemed like he was about to object but then when I turned to look at him, he quietly turned his head away and sighed. Elated with my bold move of aggressiveness, I turned to the dealer and tossed hima chp. "Here. Buy yourself a bath, you filthy dog." Then, I went to cash my ships feeling elated. I was definitely sending a message today. From now, there's a meaner, leaner, less cleaner Waluigi in town and everyone better watch out.

As I approached the cashier to exchange mychips, I heard a cry come from in the casino. I ran towards the action. As I did so, people began scattering in all directions. A scuffle had broken out and just ended. Ended with the death of Oohhboy which was an alaias used to hide the identity of his royal highness, King Dedede. It seems the King had been taking some liberties with the all-you-can-eat 3.99 buffett. Things came to a head when the King took all the jumbo shrimp. That's when the accusations started to fly and before anyone knew what had happened the King had been pumped full of soft ice cream from the self-serve soft ice cream machine. Chocolate and vanilla ice cream oozed out from all over the king. It was a real mess.

I did a quick check myself for any identification on the king but none could be found. But then, someone spotted something on the Jello. It was a document detailing how King Dedede would be killed at the buffett and what to do when it happened. Someone very smart had these events all planned out. This person expected the King to die and had arranged in advance to take the King's information. Diabolical.

But then things really got jumping at the casino when shots were fired outside. Again, I ran to see what had happened this time. Racing around to the back of the casino, I found Wolf O'Donnell (or as friends call him, Crimm) lying by a trashcan pumped full of lead. According to people who witnessed the events, Crimm had been involved in a high stakes poker game against some shady characters. The dealer however dealt him the "How to Play Poker" card. Crimm got in a fight with the dealer stating that he was supposed to take that card out of the deck. His opponents demanded he pay up since he lost. Crimm argued that he didn't lose yet. He just wasn't given a real card. Well, in the end, Crimm left in a huff out of the casino and was then gunned down soon after. Was there a connection?

I was too worried to care because I just realized I had left my chips back in the casino. I searched high and low but someone else had already found and taken them. I cursed all the deaths that had distracted me and went home. It wasn't a total wash though. I did beat a one-armed bandit and gained some petty cash that way. His name was Steve and he was blind also so that made the theft that much easier. I didn't bother to throw a coin his way though. I knew there was no way a bath was ever going to make a dent in the way he smelled so why bother tossing money at the problem.

I also learned from the scruff on my way back to the motel that the big rumor was that the gang of thieves had buried their loot in an old abandoned mine. But word got out and so the gang was now going to have to go back to the cave to get their loot before someone else found it. Someone like me. Oh yes. I was going to visit this mine myself and do some heavy searching.

And so Day 6 came and happened to go something like this:  

[the stoolie,]

607

I'M BACK / Rogue Mafia: Day 5. The Casino.

« on: April 12, 2007, 08:02:28 PM »

Heh heh heh. Waluigi still relating my rivalry of rogues.

When we got to the old castle, we found that many other people had already beaten us to the location and were storming it's old stone walls already.

"How could people have gotten here before us?" I wondered aloud, "I even used a shortcut."

"I kept telling you. Just because you chopped the top of your car off doesn't make it go faster and that's not what a shortcut means," replied the Space Pirate Commando angrily.

"Once again, who placed first on the Mushroom Cup 50cc? That's right! I did. I think I know what I'm talking about when it comes to vehicles," I answered.

"Bah. We're here and it's time for the hunt to begin. I have some vengence I need to take care of," said the pirate and he was off.

"Who needs you anyways? You're lousy!," I yelled after him. Heh. Great insult. It works every time. I turned to gloat about what I had just done to the mad scientist but he had left. In his place, was my trenchcoat wearing informant.

"Wah! What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I'm an informant, a stoolie. I always know what's going on," he answered.

"Oh, come on! You didn't know anything the other day when I asked for information. What could you have possibly learnt?" I asked.

"So. You're curious about what I, the stoolie, know. That's good. I'll reward your curiosity with a nice Vanilla Coke. Here you go. It's two years out of date, but still delicious. I suppose I should also tell you what I know. Just between you and me, I think everyone should vote for tvman." he answered.

"I'll think about it," I snarled and then ran towards the castle. As I walked along the drawbridge I heard a cry and looked up.

"You're freakin' kidding me. Not again!" yelled the Pirate Commando as he fell to his death with a sword stuck through his chest. I decided not to check if he was ok and continued further into the castle. As I did, I noticed that storm clouds suddenly began to brew overhead. Walking into the main courtyard of the castle, I saw why. Mantidor's mask or as other's called it, Majora's Mask was causing the weather changes. The mask was being worn by something called a skull kid and an agry mob had gathered accusing it and the mask of being part of the gang of thieves. Suddenly, lightning flashed forth from the sky and struck the ground around the Skull Kid.

"Back away or I'll strike you all where you stand," he cried, "What are you going to do now?"

"This," replied someone from the crowd who held up an ocarina and played a tune from it. Suddenly, a boy dressed in green appeared.

"So that's what happened to the ocarina! I'll take that back," he said, grabbing the ocarina, "And... what the heck is going on here?"

"Nooooo. Not you again. I wish I was dead," said the Skull Kid. And with that he died. The mask grants wishes I later learnt.

"I'll be taking that," said the kid, picking up the mask. Then he wiped the ocarina's mouthpiece, played a song and vanished.

"Well, I guess there's nothing left to see here," somone said in the crowd. There was a murmur of agreement and then the crowd dispersed and left the castle.

After a few hours, I had to agree with the crowd also. If the gang had been here, they had left already. Trying to find my way out of the dungeon I had entered, I came upon a freaky looking dog. In its mouth was my informant. I quickly pulled him out.

"Thank goodness you found me! This stupid thing tried to eat me!" he exclaimed.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I don't know. It just said, my name is Belome and you look so succulent. I must eat you. And then it swallowed me," he explained.

I looked at the name tag around its neck. The name read Sessha. "So, what happened to it?" I asked.

"Someone killed it while I was being swallowed. The sword they used just missed my head. It was awful," the informant explained.

Sure enough, there were stab marks on it's head. It was hard to make out because of all the freaky designs on it.

"Well, this thing is blocking our path, so let's push it out of the way," I said. Then we pushed and pulled and finally got that thing out of the way of a door it was blocking.

"What do you think that switch it was standing on does?" asked the informant.

"The what?" I asked confused and looked to see what he was pointing at. Sure enough, there was a switch that was now flashing. Suddenly, the entire castle rumbled. Then the door Belome was blocking began to open up. Suddenly, a huge wall of water opened up and swept us away. It took us out of the castle and through the moat. We passed the Pirate Commando, still mortaly wounded cursing out loud and asking why no one would listen to him. We were swept behind the castle where we found out the moat turns into a waterfall and down we went. When we came to after being washed up on shore, the stoolie and I began to argue over who's idea it was to move the dog. Finally, the stoolie left in a huff.

"Where do you think you're going?" I asked.

"To the Casino. The gang of thieves is supposed to own it. I want to get some more info. Not that you care. You wouldn't even drink the Vanilla Coke I gave you," he said, walking away.

"Oh yeah. I'll show you," I said and chugged the bottle right there. That was a mistake. The next day, my stomach finally stopped aching enough that I could finally head to the casino. I got up and started walking back to town, wondering if my informant had found some new info.

And so Day 5 went something like this:  

[Shift Key was The Muscle of the mafia. He was killed by other rogues.]

608

I'M BACK / Rogue Mafia: Day 4. The Old Abandoned Castle.

« on: April 11, 2007, 07:52:28 PM »

Ehhhh. Waluigi once again. Continuing a fascinatingly boring story of thievery.

My informant had gotten the last of my golf clubs removed from him yesterday and had left the hospital in the evening. Due to his condition, he decided to avoid strenous excercise and went to the racetrack instead. A go-kart racetrack that he owned. I met up with him there. We made a wager again but on my terms. If I win, he has got to tell me all that he knows. But if he wins, he gets all the information I have. He accepted and fell into my trap. I'm a very good racer, you know. In the Mario tour circuits, I've won gold in the Mushroom cup in the 50cc at least twice. Ha ha ha. Very impressive I know.

So, we raced around the looping track. It was just a figure eight. After the first two laps, I had finally figured out where the corners were. Of course, my constant driving in the grass strategy was not paying off as my informant was somehow in the lead. Time for my secret weapon. I pulled out a bob-omb and launched it ahead of him. It blew up knocking him high into the air. However, he got himself together and continued on still in the lead. Puzzled that he was still ahead of me, I drove off the grass and back on to the highway. I also had a green shell with me and carefully started to aim. But then I thought, heck with this, and just a luanched a blue shell. While he was still in the air, I passed him and crossed the finish line.

"Waluigi's number one," I cried. The stoolie just grumbled something. "Time to pay up. What do you have to tell me?", I asked.

"Ah, hello old friend. So I hear we're finally getting some information today, that's a refreshing change of pace. Refreshing like delicious Coca-Cola." he said. He then added, "If you could show me that information, I'll tell you all that has happened."

"Fair enough," I replied. I then passed along the papers I had collected on the various murder victims.

After studying them, he said to me, "Shift Key was The Muscle of the mafia. He was killed by other rogues."

"The muscle? That makes sense. They'd obviously use the metroid on someone to drain their power and keep them from acting against the mafia. What else?"

"The fact that Sir_Stabbalot had all all his information stolen tells me that he was the victim of an identity theft. This identity theft means I can not know what role he used to be."

"I should of realized that the first day. What else?"

"Stevey was just a rogue who was at the wrong place at the wrong time. I guess he was suspicious enough to other people to cause them to gang up on him. Tom Nook however, is a different story completely. He was renting a warehouse to the the mafia and was killed by them because of a rent disagreement. It's a shame to because Tom Nook was a chivalrous villain and was just keeping the mafia close until he could finish them off himself."

"Incredible. But what about MaryJane?"

"Ah. Now this is an interesting entanglement. MaryJane was The Slasher that has been terrorizing this town for years. Appearently, he was trying to kill the shadowy figure you saw running away. However, he was stabbed in the back by some guy trying to act tough."

"A tough guy, eh? Well, this has been very enlightening. Not bad..... for you."

"I suppose you are going to go to the undersea lab now?"

"How did you know about that?"

"It's all over the news. The undersea lab surfaced to the top of the water. A group of people banded together, found it, broke in and started destroying it."

With that, I was gone. I drove to the docks and stole a boat. Sure enough, floating on the water was a giant bubble like lab. Climbing through a hole blasted in a side of the base, I hurried down some corridors. Finding a map, I studied and figured out where the Main Computer was. I raced towards. When I got there I found two people, one dead and the other crying over him. The dead man was a ShyGuy named Shyguy. His friend spoke up.

"We were caught in a firefight man. The gang clearly didn't expect us to get to this room. We were at a standstill so I called for Back-up which was the ShyGuy . We were able to turn the tide and bust in here but by that time, they had made a hole in the floor and were escaping through it. The shyguy, he got caught in the middle of the fight and was taken down. It was an accident. We didn't mean it. He just... he just someone wound up in harm's way," the villain tearfully explained. Then he broke down sobbing.

I left him and went to the computer. In the haste to escape, the gang forgot to delete a sent e-mail. It seems they were going to hide out at an old abandoned castle they had and meet up with a new recruit. I was turning to go when another e-mail arrived. It was from someone claiming their experiment had a breakthrough development. The experiment was being conducted here in this lab. I consulted a map and hurried towards. I found the room and entered.

"Who are you?" demanded the angry doctor as I entered.

"Waluigi. The one and only," I answered, "What is this experiment you have?"

"How do you know about this? Did my wife tell you? Were you sleeping with her to pump her for information on my experiments?"

"Whaaat? No! I got your e-mail. Now what is it?" I answered. This was one mad scientist.

"I see. I was expecting someone else. Now witness the power of science and magic!" he cried and hit a button.

Suddenly, a portal opened up in the room and from it came some dark matter. I watched as it moved along the room towards a table. And there lying on the table was........... Sir_Stabbalot. The Mad Scientist was experimenting on him! The dark matter took over the space commando and suddenly, he sprang to life!

"Brillaint!" yelled the scientist, "I call it the Ing. They have infused this pirate with new life and purpose. How do you feel?"

The space pirate answered:



"And I know just how you can get it," I cried. "Follow me. We're going to invade a castle."

It turns out, I wasn't the only one who learned about the castle hidout. When we got there the next day, a bunch of other people were already there. The 4th day went something like this:

[Stevey]

609

I'M BACK / Rogue Mafia: Day 3. The Undersea Hideout.

« on: April 10, 2007, 06:20:12 PM »

Waaah! Waluigi here, continuing my story of villainous ne'er do-welling.

At 8:00 AM, I got up and hurried to the golf course. I had a tee time with my man on the street and on Tuesday's he golfed instead of playing tennis. The course was lovely by the sea. I enjoyed the par 3 with the Koopa Troopa hill. Of course, I made a wager with my secret informant. If I won, he'd tell me what he had learned since tomorrow. If he won, I'd have to dress like Princess Wadaisy and work at his nightclub. I don't think he's all there.

Not that I was worried. I know that there was no one who could surpass my skill at the game of golf. I hit powershot after powershot. Unfortunately, they kept going in the water. Because I was trying to keep the game close. Yeah. That's it. Fortunately, I am also skilled in the art of smack talk. My constant cries of "Today!" seemed to shake him up enough and I beat him with a 15 over par. With my victory secure, he was forced to uphold his part of the bargin.

"Alright," he said, "Listen up. I have about as many valuable pieces of information as Diet Coke has calories. Which is to say, I don't have any information."

"What?" I cried, "That's it. That's all you have to offer me?"

"Yep," he replied. "You..you lousy...I had to bet to work in your nightclub....as a princess! All you had to offer was this? What kind of trade-off is this?" I demanded.

"Not my fault I'm better at making deals than you are. It was a smart business decision on my part," he replied.

"You're cheating," I said and slowly walked towards.

"What...what are you doing?" he cried.

"Are you sweating?" I taunted.

As the paramedics carted his body away, I drove back into the city to see if I could find some more info on my own. I decided to look into this rumor about the abondoned warehouse district. As it happened, I arrived just after another murder had been commited.

Appearently a villain called Ganondorf, who was using the alias Stevey, had attracted a lot of attention to himself. People didn't like the way he kept insulting the gods and desiring the wind. The fact that he had a piece of some golden triforce caused a lot of people to think that he had a part of the treasure. So, they confronted him. And there was a massive swordfight. Ganondorf was able to hold them off for quite a while. But then, someone hit a crane which caused a bunch of crates that it was holding up to come crashing down on Ganondorf. Even in this beat-up condition, he was not yet defeated and cast some black magic towards his attackers. Unfortunately, the crates contained butterfly nets. The attackers were able to repel the black magic towards Ganondorf. With him stunned by his own black magic, someone finally found a sword and put it in his head. Hearing the wail of the siren, they fled the scene. Seeing these attackers run by me, I ran towards where they came from and searched the scene as fast I could for clues. I wasn't able to do as thorough a search as I would have like but I found enough information.

I wondered what I should do next. Who would be targetted now? I found out in a flash. The sirens were not coming becuase of Ganondorf's murder. They were coming because the owner of the warehouse district, Tom Nook, also known as Garnee in some circles, had been killed. Apparently, there had been a scuffle between Tom and some people he was renting too. They had a disagreement about money owed. Tom Nook took a whack at one of the people's legs and the others just pulled out some pistols and filled him with lead and then took off. Although, since Tom Nook was dead, they decided to help themselves to the post office collection he had. With the police swarming the warehouses, I decided to look up Tom Nook's residence and search his house.

He lived in an apartment downtown. Going into a back alley, I climbed the fire escape up to Nook's apartment. Looking at my reflection in the glass shattered it and allowed me to enter. I searched his apartment for clues and came upon some interesting tidbits. Well, going through a book of loans and debts he had, I heard sirens from the police arriving at the apartment. I quickly hightailed it to the window in time to see another figure racing down the fire escape. Someone was trying to get information also. I hurried after and gave chase. We ran through back alley after back alley. Somehow, he managed to give me the slip.

As I stood around trying to figure out where I had lost him, I heard some shouting and ran in that direction. I found Bowser Jr. or as he is referred to on the street, MaryJane, lying dead on the ground in a dark alley. I looked around the alley for who might have done it but saw no one. Lying beside Bowser Jr. was some spiked koopa shells. His back shell had been blasted open and he had been stabbed by a magic paintbrush, impaling him to the ground. Some tires screeched in the distance and I saw the figure of the person I had been chasing earlier running down the road. Was he connected with this. My mind raced with possibilities as I tried to piece together what has been happening these past two days.

I decided I'd better see my informant one more time. Even if he has no information, maybe he could help me piece together what had been happening. The new rumour was that the gang of thieves had an underwater base that they had fled to. I decided I'd check for myself tomorrow after I was finished talking with my "friend".

And so the next day, things went something like this:

[Shift Key]

610

I'M BACK / Rogue Mafia: Day 2.

« on: April 09, 2007, 06:51:31 PM »

Waaaaah! Waluigi here. Continuing my stoooory. Since most everyone had gone into the sewers to hunt for the heist thieves, I thought I'd go and play a round of tennis while I planned my next move. Actually, my tennis had a point. I had heard that there was a informant who played there. Someone who could provide me some information on what was going on see. A sort of stool pigeon if you will. The only catch was that you had to beat him at his game. A couple of power shots later and once again, Waluigi stood victorious. So, I asked my informant just what the word is on the streets.

He said word had reached him that, if you put the lime in the Coke you nut, and drink them both together, it will make you feel good.

As I pondered this cryptic message, police cars raced by. Asking some bystanders what had happened, I learned that there had been a death. I hurried to the scene. Turns out, it was a sewer. Coppers were going down to find a body that had been reported to them. Well, thanks to my slim physique, I just casually walked over to a sewer drain and slipped my self in. I rushed through the sewers in the hopes of beating the cops to the victim. As I turned into another pipe, I tripped and fell face first into the sewage. Ohhh, it was lousy. Getting up, I turned to see what I tripped over.

Turns out, it was the victim, a metroid named Shift Key. I remember seeing it briefly when I had arrived in town. Examing the body, I saw the metroid had been forced fed great quantities of booze. In its weakened state, unable to think clearly, it then latched onto a block of ice. While it was frozen to this block of ice, a group of thugs bashed its brains in with some lead pipes. By the way, if you ever get a chance to examine a dead metroid, I highly recommend it. They have a really neat squishy head, almost like Jello. And when you pat the squishy head, it makes a funny little boinging sound. Anyways, after I finished playing the Super Mario Bros. theme on it's head and collected all the information I could from the scene, I hightailed it out of there. Frankly, there's only so much poo gas a person can take.

Emerging into the bright daylight sun again, I pondered my next move. Who would be affected by this metroid's death? Then it came to me in a blinding flash of pain as I hit the pavement. Never stand in the middle of a road after emerging from a sewer. Vehicles don't expect it. Since I wasn't sure how much time I had to get to my suspect, I only let the doctor at the hospital bandage my head instead of putting it into a cast. Stopping only to get some Jello at the Hospital cafeteria, (the metroid really got me craving some) I hurried to the one person who might have a connection with the metroid, the dark space pirate commando. I had also seen him at the docks and the information I gathered from the metroid seemed to indicate that at one time, it was the pet of this pirate commando.

I tracked him down to a seedy hotel called Aether Prime. The hotel clerk gave me his room and name, Sir_Stabbalot. I hurried up to his room only to find the door ajar. Entering the room, I saw that the commando had died. It had overdosed on phazon. Someone else had already been through his room though. It had been ransacked something fierce. I did my own my examination but could find nothing. Who ever had been there before had taken all information on this pirate commando. The only thing I knew about him was his name.

I decided to stop at a local pub to gathered my thoughts of what had happened and see if I could make sense of the clues that had been provided. As I nursed my drink, I kept my ears open and listened to the conversations around me. The big rumo going around was that the hiest gang had fled to the abandoned warehouse district and was hiding out there now. It seems a group of people were going to get together and conduct a search party of their own. I decided I would check back with my informant to see what he had to say on the day's events. So, I hit the hay and got up the next morning.

The second day went something like this:


   

611

I'M BACK / Rogue Mafia: Day 1.

« on: April 08, 2007, 09:13:51 PM »

Let's get this game going already!

Wahhhhhhh! Waluigi here. Here to tell you about one of the most interesting capers in history.

It all started one day when I was walking down the street. I had just been kicked out of the dance hall for gesturing towards my crotch one too many times and had no where to go. As I walked along the street, I came upon the local motion picture hall and decided to go in and see one of those talkies Hollywood has been making. After I swiped some popcorn from a sleeping old man, I settled into my seat and got caught up on news around the world. I enjoyed catching up on what others in the business were doing. Al Capone, Bonnie & Clyde and John Dillinger. All of 'em living it up and putting the slip to the coppers.

It got me thinking. I've been resting on my laurels. Sure. Everyone knows there is no greater villain than Waluigi. Nothing can top the time I stole the Mushroom Kingdom's music keys or when I used a Chain Chomp orb and stole a star from Boo on the last turn which robbed him of victory and made me the superstar. Nothing can top that. Well, except for maybe this. Besides here about other gangster's deeds, the newsreel also had a story about a seaside town named Rogueport and a treasure that was rumored to be buried there from long ago.

Cop 1: Wait a minute. That's your story?! You're going to rip off Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door?

Waluigi: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who said anything about a thousand year door? I didn't.

Cop 2: Surely you don't think we'd believe a story like this.

Waluigi: What would you believe? A star rod?

Cop 1: Nope.

Waluigi: A bio-form mutagen called Phazon?

Cop 2: No.

Waluigi: A crime syndicate involved in the selling of stolen pocket monsters?

Cop 1: We're not idiots.

Waluigi: Sacred Treasures stolen by the goddess of darkness? A princess kidnapped by a great evil? A triforce? A star road? A racing belt that combines the two great forces of the universe, light and dark?

Cop 2: Each of these is more unbelievable than the last.

Waluigi: What about a treasure buried under a seaside town the whereabouts of which have long been forgotten?

(Cops look at each other)

Waluigi: This story is different I swear.

Cop 1: All right. Proceed.

So, the newsreel says that this long forgotten treasure has just been found. And I begin thinking to myself about how this would be the perfect little caper for me to pull. The theft a thousand year... I mean, long ago ancient treasure. So, after making some money by selling an extra go-kart I had, I sailed to Rogueport. But when I got there, I learned the terrible truth. The treasure had just been stolen. Appearently, it was taken by a group of 5 thieves. Well, I was upset. How dare someone steal from me first.

It turns out, I wasn't the only one upset. Many other villains from the underword had gathered at this spot in the hopes of taking the treasure for themselves. And they were just as mad to learn someone had beaten them to it. I wondered what I should do next when I remembered my mantra: "Only cheaters mess up." And since this band of thieves had cheated me of this treasure, I knew it would only be a matter of time before they messed up. And I would soon be proven right.

Because the theft had just happened, Rogueport authorities shut down all shipping lanes. That meant the thieves would still be stuck in Rogueport. Reports soon went out that the thieves had gone into hiding in the sewers. Other thieves meanwhile had got it into their heads to track down this gang and steal the treasure from them. Even if that meant murder. Desperate to keep people from finding them out, the gang of thieves was just as ready to kill also. And so I embarked upon a strange journey of my own as I navigated the seedy underworld amidst the carnage that would soon unfold. You got that coppers?

Cop 1: We're getting it. Just continue with the testimony.

Well, it didn't take long for people to start accusing one another which set this whole powderkeg off. The first day went something like this:  

[Alive]

612

I'M BACK / Rogue Mafia: The list of players and roles.

« on: April 08, 2007, 09:09:41 PM »

This is a quick reference list for everyone to see who is alive and who is dead.

The Players

Alive

18 Days (Giovanni)
Athrun Zala (Master Hand)
Dasmos (Mario)
Pale (Vaati)
Spak-Spang (Iggy Koopa)

There are 5 players still alive.

Dead

Shift Key (Metroid)
Sir_Stabbalot (Dark Space Pirate Commando)
Stevey (Ganondorf)
Garnee (Tom Nook)
MaryJane (Bowser Jr.)
Shyguy (ShyGuy)
Mantidor (Majora's Mask)
Sessha (Belome)
Oohhboy (King Dedede)
Crimm (Wolf O'Donnell)
Thatguy (Croco)
Nuclearspeed (Kaiser Vlad)
S-U-P-E-R (Sturm)
TVMan (Starman Deluxe)
Wandering (Wario)
Vudu (Fawful)
Pittboi (Medusa)
Zach (Donkey Kong)
MysticGohan (Black Shadow)

There are 19 dead players.

The Roles

These are the roles still out there. For a detailed explanation of a role, check the sign-up thread.

Townie Roles

The Mad Scientist

The Tough Guy

Mafia Roles

The Charming Leader

The Brains (1 role acquired)

1 Recruit

and there are 2 townies still alive.                      

[What is the prize?]

613

I'M BACK / Mafia 15 - Prize Mafia! Yes, Mafia has formed a partnership with NWR Trivia. Sign-up thread.

« on: March 30, 2007, 05:55:33 PM »

Well, it's been quite some time since we had a mafia game on this forum and I think it's really needed. I'm sensing a lot of pent-up rage among different posters and I think people are just waiting for a way to release their anger by killing those who have been bugging them. (Plus, I got tired of waiting for Shift Key) So, here it is. Mafia 15.

What is the prize?

And as stated, this will be a Prize Mafia game. What is the prize you may be wondering? Well, it's not something that can be measured monitarily but through sentimentality.

As stated, I have formed a partnership with NWR Trivia. The winner or winners of this mafia game will get to take part in creating a round of Podcast Trivia. You get to pick the songs. You get to pick the questions. You could even make a bit of a script talking about the games you chose. You get your name or forum name recognized as the person responsible for the round.

TYP and I look forward to seeing what the results of this will be. We both think it could be a very fun idea and we hope you agree.

Now, I should state that if you want to play the mafia game but don't want the prize, that's fine. If you are the winner or a winner, you can let me know then if you want to make a round of podcast trivia or not.

When is the mafia game?

So, for now, I am going to leave this thread open for sign-ups. Sign-ups will close Saturday April 7, 2007. I am shooting for April 9 as the starting day for the game.

Over the next couple days, I will let you know what the roles and rules are and what the theme would be. But for now, I just thought I would get the ball rolling for the next game since I know there are a few people who will sign-up right away before reading the rules.

Podcast Trivia Rules

Just in case you are wondering what the rules are for making a podcast trivia game, TYP has provided me with the following guidelines:

1) All games and songs must be found on a Nintendo platform. (Wii Virtual Console and Nintendo arcade games are valid choices.
2) All songs picked for a game must be found in the game as heard. No rearrangements, remixes, etc. (PSX rearrangements found in a SNES->PSX port are not valid. Remixes of songs in a series that are found in the Nintendo platform game are perfectly acceptable.)
3) Three songs per game.
4) No licensed music.
5) Unless agreed upon otherwise, an episode should be five games long.

I (TYP) offer to help find/pick songs for the winner's podcast, and help coordinate if there is collaboration among multiple winners. Potential winners should understand that we may not be able to find (a good enough version of) some songs and should be flexible. Of course, NWR has the final say on what can/cannot be used and may bend the guidelines above as it sees fit.


There you have it. This could turn out to be a more cutthroat game now that there is a prize available instead of just playing for personal honor.

As always, new people are welcome to join and I am happy to explain the rules to you.  

614

Nintendo Gaming / Mario128 = Pikmin. Gamecube's biggest mystery solved.

« on: March 08, 2007, 07:14:41 AM »

So, in Miyamoto's keynote address, he says people always ask him about what happened to Mario 128? His answer is that most have played it.... in Pikmin!

Well, what do the Pikmin haters have to say now?

615

I'M BACK / REVIEWS: Svevan and the Secret Shame.

« on: March 06, 2007, 07:56:32 AM »

All right. It is just becoming more and more obvious each time Svevan posts something. He is a flamer trying to fracture these forums and get everyone fighting one another. And he's being completely obvious about it.

I'm going to post an "editorial" about Zelda. Knowing that will get people riled up, I will then quickly post a topic in the funhouse pretending like I'm innocent for the ensuing results. Repeat with the Sonic review. But the thing is, Svevan knew these things would cause a big commotion. That's why he quickly made a topic on it.

It's like Pittboi asking if Miyamoto is past his prime. The first thing he says is "before you get all upset", but later claims he had no idea the topic title would get people so upset. Svevan posts these things knowing he will upset people but then quickly makes a message saying he has no idea why people are upset.

Svevan even has the gall to show us how he riles people up. Low scores for this game, high scores for this game. He's making everyone on this board fight for his own perverse enjoyment.


EDIT: Actual Svevan review added. Written by Svevan. And edited by me.


Pros:

Great graphic avatar
Innovative ideas for getting people angry
Party hats are fun

Cons:

Criteria is uneven
Level design counteracts Svevan's lies
Frustrating difficulty due to design flaws since birth

Graphics: 9.0
The varied phrases are detailed and lush with wordy English effects. Graphically, Svevan is a huge success.

Sound: 6.5
There are catchy qoutes, as well as some horrid awful ones. The voice acting is terrible. Sound effects are convincing and comical.

Control: 5.0
Some great ideas are on display here with the flame bait used in unique ways. Unfortunately, logic is awkward, as is Svevan's primary attack on the game. When the game goes past an hour, Svevan just doesn't work as he should – sometimes reading the manual causes Svevan to make a guess about what the rest of the game is like and he's right, other times the same manual causes him to make an assumption that isn't right.

Gameplay: 3.5
It's too stop-and-go, thanks to the  design. Some paragraphs must be read over and over just to learn where all the criticisms are so you can get the point without dying. Other paragraphs have awkward sentence structure or require you to know a piece of obscure knowledge that you haven't learned yet or ever want to learn.


Lastability: 8.5
Every paragraph is jammed with secrets, and you are scored with laughs depending on how fast you complete them. Quotes are also unlocked, and there is a whole qoute/feedback party game mode to satisfy multiplayer cravings. This package is full; it's just too bad that the main review isn't satisfactory.


Final: 5.0
There's a lot to hate about this review, but with all the extras and the unique flaming scheme, some people may find it worthwhile. I don't recommend the review to anyone, though, and instead encourage a debate to the morbidly curious.





For shame, Svevan, for secret shame.    

616

I'M BACK / Throwing Svevan a bone.

« on: February 20, 2007, 08:55:52 AM »

Alright. So, Svevan wants some attention. He wants some way to prove himself better than Bloodworth. He can't ban people or seem to lock threads. (By the way, check out the Gamecube forum for Bloodworth's latest locked thread and instaban. Just awsome.) It seems there is only one way in which Svevan could hope to compete. Yes, I'm talking about a movie discussion. I know that even in this area, Bloodworth still has the advantage but at least Svevan can put up some sort of fight in this topic.

So, to begin with, did you see the movie Breach, Svevan? What did you think of it?

617

I'M BACK / Bloodworth: Great Mod or Greatest Mod?

« on: February 17, 2007, 07:36:53 AM »

Bloodworth is taking over. He's been locking threads, changed up the funhouse, ordered people to put party hats on their avatars and now wants everyone to start squealing to him on what they know about people. I, for one, stand by our new leader. Heckava job, Bloodie.

Yes, he is the greatest mod.

Just for the record, Jonnyboy also said Greatest mod.

618

Nintendo Gaming / Godzilla: Destroy all monsters melee

« on: February 15, 2007, 07:29:35 AM »

So, with the announcement of Godzilla coming to the Wii, it's got me thinking about this old GameCube. I've actually been interested in purchasing it for awhile now. Most likely off Ebay. But, I've never played it myself. So, I was just wondering what the popular opinion of the game is. To me, it looks like it would offer some mindless fun for awhile with some friends but I just thought I'd check if that was actually the case.

619

I'M BACK / Meowfia Dead list: Eat it suckers!

« on: February 03, 2007, 11:24:27 AM »

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.


Let's have a round of applause for Khushrenada, the mafia killer. Yes, it means I'm always killed by day 3 at the latest but I still get my licks in. After the poor showing last game, I came back with a vengence. Taking down a mafia member on Day 1 with my first vote. Yahooooooooooo! I am the man! Boo yah.

And you know what the best part of it is. Thanks to getting killed early by mafia's all the time, I've come to expect an early death. So, to make sure my knowledge and suspicions don't go to waste, I gave a whole dossier or portfolio if you will on a bunch of players to a certain person I know is a townie beyond a doubt. I even let this person know the names of a few others I was convinced were townies also. Hopefully this person will take that information more seriously now and start a townie alliance.

You lose, mafia! I already got the townie alliance going. We can know start continueing more and picking off the people who aren't part of that alliance.

Oh sure, the mafia says. You just got lucky. Please. I have many tricks to figure out your identities. Not to mention, I let my special townie friend know the 6 others I believe to be mafia. Now obviously, a couple of those guesses are wrong but I am sure two if not three of them are spot on.


So, here's to you townies. A gift from your favorite player, the master of mafia. I did the damage I could in the short time I was given. It's funny actually. Since I know I'll be dead soon, I always make sure I act as fast as I can to do what I can in the game. It also occurs to me that my townie friend might actually know the identity of another townie. I just realized I gave him some evidence that, if thought about logically, should reveal that person to be a townie also. Hmm. This is going to be interesting. I can't wait to see how this unfolds.

So yes. As I was saying, I have done my part. Now it is up to my friendly townies to take all the wonderful gifts of knowledge left behind and bring home Khushrenada the win he started for you. Don't fail me. I'll be watching.


P.S. I thought I'd try and roleplay this game. It's a first for me. I hoped that if I kept it entertaining enough that maybe the mafia would delay in hitting me. It failed but I'm not surprised. Hopefully, it will give the townies more incentives to crush the mafia for killing Mr. Muffins, Ian Sane's cat.  

620

I'M BACK / Important lesson in self-defence brought to you by the Japanese.

« on: January 25, 2007, 02:45:58 PM »

Who's bright idea was this was? Right now, my only suspect is S-U-P-E-R.

How to defend yourself against english speaking attackers.

[Waluigi or TYP]

621

I'M BACK / Mafia 12: Funhouse Mafia. Day 3. Nintendo of Japan.

« on: December 23, 2006, 05:57:01 PM »

Another problem people had with the story was the fact that it didn't get it's facts right. For instance, the days were jumbled up. It gave the story a confused air.

Iwata: Welcome. I understand you have had a difficult journey to come here. Indeed. I see that many of you who have started the trip have not been able to finish it. But for the few of you who are left, we have some final tests to perform. The victor of these tests will be our game mascot.

Waluigi: Wahh! I think I can end this whole party right now. The characters voted for me! They clearly want me to be the star of my own game.

Tingle: Ohm Pah Poom. That's not entirely true.

Waluigi: You lousy!

And with that, Tingle suddenly expired. Some say he was hit by a townie mafia. Waluigi was quick to claim that he was the cause of the death of Tingle.

Waluigi: Any other questions?

Error: Yes. I'll challenge you to a duel.

Waluigi: I don't think so, Ken!

And with that, Waluigi took of the mask and exposed Ken posing as Error.

Ken: Ah, heh heh. Seems I found some glitches in the character. I could do some Wavedashing and, had some great recoveries... Goodbye!

And off he ran. Some say Ken was exposed by the fairness cop but Waluigi took credit all the same.

The Moon: Well, I won't stand to be in a world where Waluigi lives as the star of his own game. Your 3 Days are up.

Waluigi: Hmm. There's only one solution for this problem. I must steal the dancing keys of the mushroom kingdom and make the moon boogie alnight long.

The Moon: Nooooo! Dancing my one weakness.

Little Johnny: How long does this story go on? This isn't what happened all at yesterday and it's not funny. Just get to the point.

Narrator: Yeah, sure. So, the Moon was defeated and after that, no one wanted to question Waluigi's claim as the winner. As you can see, Waluigi or TYP has some very good extortion tactics. Those tactics make him a very good politician.

And so with that, Waluigi became the star of Customer Service Boxing Day Extravaganza! You get to deal with a never ending hoard of angry customers. You can never make them happy. You just have to make sure you deal with them in a way that doesn't get them to blow a top. Congratulations Waluigi. How do you feel?

Waluigi: Wah. I hate this game.

Little Johnny: Don't worry I think everyone does. Worst MAFIA EVER!



The End

[3]

622

I'M BACK / Mafia Funhouse. Who's alive. Who's dead. The roles.

« on: December 22, 2006, 08:12:15 PM »

The players.

Those Alive:

Shift Key - Mr. Game and Watch
BlackNMild2k1 - Ness
Shyguy - Batman
Sir_Stabbalot - G. Haley
Pale - Alex Roivas
Zach - Olimar
TVMan - Stanley
Stevey - Link
Nuclearspeed - Pit
Mario - King Dedede
TYP - Waluigi
MysticGohan - Ichigo
Garnee - Steve
Unclebob - Duck Hunt Dog


And those dead:

18 Days - Ken whateverhislastnameis
Wandering - Townie
Spak-Spang - Townie



The roles:

Mafia Mafia: There are two mafia's in this game. This is the traditional mafia.

Townie Mafia: This is the other mafia it is less traditonal.




In the mafias, these are the roles:

Godfather: This is the godfather of the mafia mafia. He can make a hit each day at any time of the day. However, none of the other mafia mafia members knows who he is. Each mafia member only knows who they are and who the mafia consists of.

Mafia goon: Two other members of mafia mafia. They are just members and can only win with a mafia victory.

Usurper or Secret Godfather: This is the last member of mafia mafia. This person is also the godfather of the townie mafia and can make a hit each day at any time of the day. This person also has a choice. Win with the mafia mafia or win with the townie mafia. Only myself and the usurper know the answer. Whoever, the usurper chooses to win with, the other mafia must kill him to win.

Townie mafia goon: These are the three other members of the townie mafia. They do not know who the secret godfather is. They only know who their fellow members are. If the usurper chooses not to win with them, they must kill the usurper and can win with a townie victory. If they usurper chooses to win with them, they can only win by a townie victory. There is a caveat that if the godfather dies along the way, they can choose to stay a member of the townie mafia or become a regular townie again.

Note: Godfathers will show up as members of the mafia they belong to. Either as a mafia mafia member or a townie mafia member. They will not be revealed as a godfather though. If a godfather is killed, that mafia can not elect a new godfather or make hits, unless a special event/item comes along. Investigated townie mafia members will be revealed as townie mafia.


Townies:

Cop: The cop can investigate 3 people of his choice. He can investigate these 3 at any time of the game. The cop has one other function. The cop is the only one who can kill Ken whateverhislastnameis. However, if the cop chooses the wrong person, the cop will die.

Doctor: The doctor can not protect people. That would be a bodygaurd's role. However, the doctor can give some one enough life support or adrenaline to come back from the dead and cast a vote. Yes, one dead person of their choosing can a cast a vote. And it doesn't always have to be the same person. One person could vote one day, someone else the next. It's up to the doctor. I'll also let the doctor know if it can apply to a certain event/item.


Other Roles:

The Politician: Yes, this will be the shortest mafia. But it could be even shorter yet. The politician is looking to get your vote. For some reason, he thinks you want to get voted for. And if he does get the most votes, he wins the election and the game. This can be done by the day vote or from an event/item. However, not all events/items will apply. Such as the Secret Vote event. The only way the politican can be stopped is by being hit.


And of course there are 3 townies.  
 

623

I'M BACK / Mafia 12: Funhouse Mafia. Nintendo of Europe.

« on: December 22, 2006, 07:32:34 PM »

One reason no one ever talks about Mafia 12 is because of the story. The story seemed weak and ill-concieved. At times it seemed as though it was being made up on the spot and it never really seemed to connect with what was actually happening. But judge for yourself.

Nintendo of Europe

Jim: I've gathered all of you characters together today to let you know that Nintendo of Japan has come up with a new gimm!ck for a game... oh sorry, a new sparkling innovation for a game and, instead of slapping Mario on it or some other franchise character, has agreed to let one of you be the star and give you a chance to gain some fan support.

Stanley: That's great! But why is Link here? He doesn't need it.

Jim: I know it might seem that way but let's face it. Link has no other spinoffs. He just has his adventure game. Well, true he does appear in Smash Bros and was pretty popular in Soul Calibar 2, he could use a spinoff. A chance to widen out. Frankly, I think he could use it. The Zelda series is getting rather stale. I mean, Gamespot gave the latest game an 8.8. Clearly, it's getting old.

Link: I have an idea. Why don't we all appear in this title together?

Jim: No. Reggie vetoed that idea. Only the strongest among you should get the honor. I'm not sure how we'll choose this.

Narrator: Yeah, at this point, we all know the drill. The people get together. Let's do this fairly. We'll select one person each day who will be eliminated from the competition. Problem is, some other people get a better idea. Form a group and kill off everyone else so that they win. Then there are those with their own agenda.

Little Johnny: But if people can't appear in the game together, why would they work together in a group called a mafia?

Narrator: Santa Claus isn't real.

Little Johnny: Words can't express how much I hate you right now.

Waluigi: Who's little Johnny?

Jim: That isn't important right now. What is important is that I think you have a great idea there. Select those not worthy. Reggie will want to see you tomorrow to catch up on your progress. Also, some marketing people may wish to talk to you first before the day is done and throw a few "suggestions" your way.

Steve: Hey. Weren't you fired for always giving away information?

Jim: I wasn't fired. I quit.

Steve: Then how come you're working for Nintendo right now.

Jim: Because it's the past.

Steve: Then how did I know you had left?

Jim: Look. Just get out of my office. You are not going to win anyways.

Steve: Cold man. Just cold.

Little Johnny: Abd how can a group of townies win? Only one person gets to be in the game, not a group.

Narrator: I can see I'm going to need some more alcohol for this adventure.

Little Johnny: I hate it when he starts drinking.




Now get voting! The day closes at Midnight Central Time.  

[16]

624

I'M BACK / Mafia 12: Funhouse Mafia. It's crazy.

« on: December 20, 2006, 06:33:32 PM »

It seems lately that people have been itching for a new mafia game. Or just any forum game to play. Well, since it might be awhile yet until 18 Days posts her mafia and because she kept insisting on calling it Mafia 13, I thought that I would step up into the plate and deliver the long-lost mafia 12. The reason that most people do not discuss mafia 12 is because it is a little bit stupid. Hence the fact that it is funhouse mafia. Yes, mafia 12 is designed to be the shortest mafia game ever.

Now, obviously, it has some competition since the shortest mafia game was 11 and that lasted 5 Days. Fortunately, this game will be even shorter. Yes, it will only last three days automatically. It doesn't matter how many people sign up, there will be mass deaths in order to keep this rule in effect. Best of all, sign-up time is real short. You only get two days to sign-up. Sign-up ends Dec.22 at midnight. Then, the game is played in hectic fashion over the next three days. If you found yourself busy during the holidays already, mafia just came and flipped your world upside down. Yes, this just happened.

More stress? Sign me up! But wait. How do I play? Thanks for asking Billy. The rules are simple. Simply complex. Yes, although the basic will be in place, mafias, cop, doctor, bomber, townies, there will also be a bunch of crazy things given out that just pop into my head. For instance, in every mafia, there will be two godfathers. One is legitimate and makes hits for the mafia. The other is head of a townie base. Both seek the death of the other. However, if a godfather dies, then that mafia can no longer make any hits. Thus, both godfathers will hope to use the other before killing the other one off. Don't backstab too soon! And maybe the mafia's can elect another godfather. It all depends because crazy crap is going to happen all the time.

Believe it or not, there's a reason for that. The theme is loosely based on Smash Bros. Except that you can choose any Nintendo character from any game. Yes, Smash Bros. with a funhouse twist. Which charater will reign supreme? I can't wait to find out. Since this is my excuse for the shoddy workmanship done on these rules, it gives me an explanation for said crazy crap. It's like items. They just come out of nowhere for no reason. So, for instance, anyone with the letter o in the name is immune from being filled for the next hour. Random vote. Two people are randomly chosen for no reason. After half an hour, the one with the most votes dies. Not around to save yourself? Thought you could watch Identity for awhile? Too bad. And a bunch of other zany and wacky items like that will also appear throughout the game at anytime. Like choosing a new godfather. Thought I'd forgot about that, didn't you. What? You didn't? Uhhh, quick! Look at the next paragraph.

So, at this point, I don't think there is anything else I need to explain. All roles will be revealed on the day of playing. There are some other things that will happen behind the scenes that might not come out until after the game is over. Yes, after the amount of people complaing about the rules for mafia 10 and saying I made things too complicated, this is my answer. Not complicated enough. Mafia12 will seperate the real Play-uh's from the players. I don't think that made sense.

But, how could I forget. Voting will be 24 hours, although, things will slow down a lot when I'm not on at night. Ties will be solved the following ways. Both people who are tied in the voting will die but they get to chose one person to take with them. If you die and then talk about a role and reveal info that would help your team. I.e. Mafia member reveals a townie role or townie reveals a mafia role. The team that was hurt by the information gets to immediately kill 3 people of their choosing in retalition. That should settle everything.

So, all that's left is for everyone to start flooding the sign-up thread. I hope I made it big enough. If you don't choose a character, one will randomly be assigned to you. Also, I sure as heck ain't makin' no avatars for this game. It doesn't deserve that much work. However, if you want to make your own, go ahead. Otherwise, just put in your signiture what character you are. That's the best homemade solution for this game.

Final thoughts: Basically, if you want to survive, just kill anyone and everyone you can, because chances are, they're trying to do the same to you. Plus, if you're still standing at the end, chances are you won.  

EDIT: People who have joined.

Shift Key - Mr. Game and Watch
18 Days - Error (not sure who that is)
Spak-Spang - Tingle
BlackNMild2k1 - Ness
Shyguy - Batman (Yes, I know. Not a Nintendo character. But, I'll allow it. I liked the SNES Batman and Robin game)
Sir_Stabbalot - G. Haley
Pale - Alex Roivas
Zach - Olimar
TVMan - Stanley
Stevey - Link
Nuclearspeed - Pit
Mario - King Dedede
TYP - Waluigi
MysticGohan - Ichigo
Garnee - Steve
Unclebob - Duck Hunt Dog
Wandering - The Moon. (I'm guessing Majora's Mask)

Surprisingly, 16 have joined.        

[Pico aka ShyGuy is the killer.]

625

I'M BACK / Mafio -GX: Wrap-up. It finally ends.

« on: October 16, 2006, 01:04:13 PM »

The Lane Corporation
Lab HQ

Out of the time barrier stepped Digi-Boy.

"Digi-Boy?!" exclaimed everyone.

"Great. Someone get a mind wipe device and then send him back to the past," ordered the Head.

"QQQ. Stun ray," demanded Digi-Boy.

A bright light flashed forth from QQQ's eye and froze everyone in the room.

"I'm afraid there will be no stopping my plan. In a few minutes, the past will have so irrevocably changed this future that the past will have become fact," explained Digi-Boy.

"What are you doing? Are you insane? You have no idea the consquences of your actions," exclaimed the Head.

"Oh but I do. I know exactly what will happen. Heck, I sent this robot back knowing that it would waste enough time until I was forced to act. It allowed me the time I needed to put my plans into action in the past. You see, when Black Shadow died from an intergalactic rift, I was asked to help make some devices to prevent that from happening. As I was working on that problem, I met up with Phoenix, an agent of yours. He offered to lend me QQQ to help with the problem. Of course, QQQ seemed to have some problems with his memory. He couldn't access certain things which limited his usefulness. I suspect that it was deliberate tampering on the part of Phoenix to keep time-travel secrets from being revealed. But, since I can get behind any device, I soon unlocked that information. With it, I was able to see what the results of so many things would be and I was able to discover secrets of your organization. I could see how the F-Zero organiztion would end and I could see how I could turn that to my advantage. That advantage will be fullfilled in mere moments," Digi-Boy monologued.

"And just what is you are trying to accomplish?" asked the Head.

"Well, to answer that I guess we should start at the end of the F-Zero tournament. That should be where QQQ stopped talking," explained Digi-Boy, "Let's see. Draq had just been killed and the racers were aware of another killer among them..."


Earth
Outer Space


"You mean there really is someone else killing racers?" asked Jody to Pheonix, "I thought it was just officials just mistaken because they didn't know about the mafia killings. Who is it? Is it Blood Falcon? He didn't seem to have any problem killing Draq and he is evil."

"No," Phoenix replied, "It rather obvious. Who was once employed in an elite division of the Poripoto Army where his unit was responsible for over 70 assassinations? Who was rumored to have become an assassin for hire after leaving that army? Who among us races to quench his thirst for blood? There's pnly one person. Pico aka ShyGuy is the killer."

The two racers faced Pico.

"It's true. Pico likes to kill. But Pico is a hero. He ended mafia terror. Pico not so bad. Pico can be your friend," begged Pico, slowly reaching into his shell.

"Look out," cried Phoenix to Jody, as Pico wiped out a small device.

"PICO-CHU!" yelled Pico, pressing a button on the device. Pico began to glow as electrical energy surrounded him and slowly began to extend outward. Phoenix ran over to Jody Summer and pressed a button under his right glove. In a couple of seconds, QQQ materialized beside Phoenix and Jody.

"QQQ. Deflect that energy!" Phoenix yelled to the robot.

At this point, Pico was focusing the energy into a ball above him. He sent the ball of electric death towards Phoenix and Jody. QQQ stepped forward and absorbed the energy and then shot it back to Pico frying him.

"Well, I guess that's the end of Pico," said Jody.

"No. It's not," answered Phoenix.

"What do you mean?" asked Jody.

"I'm a time cop. I was sent here by my organization because we received information that an event in the next F-Zero Grand Prix would change the history of the entire universe. I know now what it is and have collected the information I need. All this death and destruction, it will be undone. We'll go back in the past to the start of the race and prevent those responsible from carrying out their actions. So, Pico will be back. Heck, so will everyone who died. This will never have happened," explained Phoenix.

"So, Blood Falcon won't win the race?" asked Jody.

"No. In fact, according to my information, he was the only racer who was actually supposed to die in this race. But I guess with all the changes that didn't happen," said Phoenix, "Well, QQQ. Transport me to the Moon."

"The Moon?" asked Jody.

"Yeah. That's where we keep a time machine," explained Phoenix.

A transportation tube opened but out of it came Digi-Boy.

"QQQ. What did you do? You were supposed to transport me," exclaimed Phoenix.

"He did just what I ordered him to do," answered Digi-Boy. "The event that is going to affect the universe isn't what happened here. It's what will happen after when I rebuild the F-Zero organiztion. And I can't allow anyone to stop that," Digi-Boy revealed.

QQQ then blasted Phoenix and Jody with a heat beam, killing them. Looking through their belongings, Digi-Boy noted that Phoenix Lestrade aka ThePerm was just a regular racer or townie and the Jody Summer aka Shift Key was the townie idiot.

"Alright, QQQ. Take me to the lab," ordered Digi-Boy.

At Digi-Boy's lab, there were bodies of all the dead racers. Digi-Boy was conducting experiments on them and cloning the racers. There were also many peices of strange equipment and uniforms. As Digi-Boy worked on QQQ's memory and how to time events so that his plan of action would succeed, Blood Falcon walked in.

"@%&%^&&!" He exclaimed on seeing everything around him. "You've got to be the most sick and twisted individual I've ever met. I mean, even I've got a lot of problems but this is incredible."

"Blood Falcon! What are you doing here?" asked Digi-Boy.

"I saw the flash of energy on the track and raced down to see what was happening. I arrived in time to see you kill Phoenix and Jody. I tracked you down to here to make you pay for that," answered Blood Falcon.

"Well, I'm glad you're here. It will save me the trouble of having to locate and kill you," ansered Digi-Boy. Then he pressed a button and sent QQQ to the past.

Blood Falcon aka Vudu pointed to Digi-Boy and said, "I think you're mistaken. I won't be so easy to take down. I'm the Magician."


The Lane Corporation
Lab HQ

"So what happened to Blood Falcon?" asked the Head.

"He's dead," replied Digi-Boy, checking his watch, "Another minute or so and that will be historical fact."

"So you really know the consequences of your actions, do you? Well can you explain why people in the future wear such strange clothes and everyone looks female?" asked the Head.

"It's quite simple. People are just imitating their favorite F-Zero pilot. That was my plan. I rebuilt the F-Zero organization. I now control the most powerful event in the universe making me the most powerful person in the universe. Planets bow to my every request because I can bring the F-Zero races to them or I can take them away. Moreover, I made the race more powerful then it ever was before. And you know how I did it? I remade the racers. Here, take a look for yourself," said Digi-Boy. He grabbed a couple pictures from a pocket and help them up to the Head.

Here's Captain Falcon, as healthy as ever.


Here's Doctor Stewart. Alive again and no longer worried about her father's killer.


And Samurai Goroh. I think the new look is sure to win her more fans.


"What the heck?" asked the head in amazement.

"Yes. As you may be noticing the racers are now all women. That's what my cloning lab was about. I took their DNA and reformed them. With the women, I just helped make them a bit better. Women love the race now because it has women in a postion of power and as idols. Men like the race because of the women. I'm sure you'll notice the people that you have seen changed look like these racers. That's becuase the race is so huge, people emmulate these racers. They dress up as them to show their support for their favorite racer. And those uniforms have apurpose to. It allows them to run at speeds similiar to the ones their racer would have driven. And I control it all. The racers obey me and get their equipment only from me. That keeps them in line. With the racers in line, my grip on the F-Zero organization is iron tight," explained Digi-Boy.

"Your plan still won't work," said the head, "We have devices installed in the building so that we always keep our knowledge no matter how the past changes. We'll still know you've changed something and we'll still go back and fix things."

"But what if you don't exist in the future? Time's up," said Digi-Boy, "QQQ, activate transport."

The robot did as it was told. Digi-Boy and QQQ vanished from the room. The head could feel movement returning to his body but it was too late. He could see the new future expanding into the room and closing in on all of them. Soon the future change was complete.


F-Zero Organization
3187
Earth
(After Future Change)

The head of the orginaztion woke up. What a wierd dream. He wondered if it meant something. Was there some kind of jealousy or aminosity that he subconciously harbored against the President of the Orgianztion, Digi-Boy. Still, it felt so real. Could it be possible? Had he been in charge of protecting time? Was this reality not right? He tried to shake off the feelings he had while getting washed up for the day. But they didn't go away. What if it wasn't a dream? What am I supposed to do about it? He tried to focus on the day's events. A new championship race was about to begin and he had a long day ahead of him on making sure everything started and ran smoothly. But his thought's kept going back to the dream. Until, he thought about what he should wear. This time, I'm showing my true loyalty. he thought. And now his unease started to leave him. So what if this wasn't right. It sure seemed better then what he had seen in the dream. And besides, the Head was a big Black Shadow fan.