Topic: Rate the last movie you've seen

[oohhboy]

Irrelevant. It's the double standard. If it was a guy we would fist bumping and giving high fives like candy. Besides, what is this? The Bible belt?

I do believe Tendoboy1984 is in need for another round of smiting for bad postings.

[tendoboy1984]

Irrelevant. It's the double standard. If it was a guy we would fist bumping and giving high fives like candy. Besides, what is this? The Bible belt?

I do believe Tendoboy1984 is in need for another round of smiting for bad postings.

Heh, I'm a guy, and I have something called "self control". I don't go prowling for unsuspecting women at bars and clubs. I have a girlfriend who I love very much.

[BlackNMild2k1]

19 guys in Highschool = slut

19 guys during that summer in Paris = whore

19 guys during that bachelor party = barf

19 guys in her 16-20 years of sexual activity = not so bad *cough*slut*cough*
But seriously, that's like a bf a year. maybe less maybe more.

But I like my girls to keep the count down to 1 hand.... maybe 2.
and being 1st (v-card) isn't all it's cracked up to be (most of the time).

edit: About the Double Standard
****If a key opens a lot of locks then its a master key. But if a lock is opened by a lot of keys then it’s a shitty lock.****


But to stay on topic, I watched The Darkest Hour the other day.
it was stupid. special effects were horrible, the logic patterns of the people didn't make any sense half of the time...

Don't waste your time.

Also watched The Change Up, the one with Michael Bluth and Ryan Reynolds where they switched lives. It was entertaining. Had some funny moments. Good for a few laughs.
I couldn't imagine switching lives with one of my boys and then having to hear about how much he sucked at my job and how much I sucked at his. But I guarantee you that I would get to nail his wife repeatedly, and she would have loved every second of it.... she actually would have been sad that we eventually had to change back

[tendoboy1984]

But to stay on topic, I watched The Darkest Hour the other day.
it was stupid. special effects were horrible, the logic patterns of the people didn't make any sense half of the time...

God that movie was terrible. It should have been a direct-to-DVD release.

[Plugabugz]

Avengers.

GO AND SEE THIS MOVIE. 

If you have not yet booked tickets, stop whatever you are doing right now and do so.  To the first showing.   Do it right now. 

It opens here today. I'm seeing it at 6pm, SAVE THE ECONOMY, SEE IT IN 2D! and am making a rush there at lunch to buy the tickets.

I would get to nail his wife repeatedly, and she would have loved every second of it.... she actually would have been sad that we eventually had to change back

The major problem with that kind of film is it's always like for like. What if the person you swapped with was gay, lesbian or transgendered? Would you be saying "(s)he loved every second of it" then?

*derailed.

[Stogi]

****If a key opens a lot of locks then its a master key. But if a lock is opened by a lot of keys then it’s a shitty lock.****

*Applauds*

[Stogi]

Dear "The Protector" (2005),

So I watched your movie late last night and until the 1:23:00 mark, you are pretty much exactly what I was expecting; a mix of badly written lines, decent stunts and great martial arts. Then 1:23:00 happens and you turn into the BEST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN. And how could you not be? At that very moment, your protagonist walks into a press conference with a baby elephant screaming "Where the hell is my elephant?!" Everyone kinda looks at him dumbfounded until he elbows someone right in the face, starting a panic. Like a crazy person, he delivers a few hard hits to the screaming innocent, then he's off as quickly as he came in, following his little elephant (named 'Korn') through the building.

Korn leads him into an ambush and to the remains of his other fully grown elephant. Your protagonist decides this is the best time to mourn, which equates to three or four different takes of him hugging an elephant, even though it's at the worst possible time: when 30 or so dudes are kicking him in his sob-ridden face...repeatedly.

Then you have him get stabbed dead center of his liver (I'm no doctor, but that was definitely his liver and that was definitely the center). I know why you did this, you needed him to snap back from his fetish-like fantasy of being half-naked in a jungle hugging elephants, but...Ouch. Kinda brutal, no? I mean the guys knife went in like 6 inches. But for some reason, instead of our hero being like "Oww...blood?...WTF?...where's my ele...phant?" and passing out, you have him proceed to literally break more than a hundred bones in a row (I counted) in the most creative ways I've ever seen. This scene is so great, the sound effects alone are cringe-worthy. My favorite part is when he Million Dollar Baby's a dude with his knees.

Then to take your movie to new heights (read: lows), he uses the bones of his dead elephant to beat the living **** out of the villains' top body guards. Wasn't he just mourning? Didn't he love his elephant? Where's the respect to the dead? He used his elephant's femur to give a guy brain-damage!

Best part though is when Korn busts through the door looking for some action or to help or something (I don't know he's an elephant -- his intentions are hard to read). After the "oh look an elephant" moment wears off, he is immediately picked by his trunk and swung around into a wall. This scene is so unnecessary but is probably the greatest thing I've ever seen. Thank you for not leaving this on the cutting floor.

You definitely saved the best for last though when your hero chases down the villains for a final confrontation. He finds them attempting to escape from the roof by helicopter. One of them decided to leave earlier than the other, but lowers a rope so they can hang on as they make their get-away. Our protagonist doesn't like this and proceeds to SUPER JUMP KICK the pilot in the jaw, knocking him out of the helicopter and back onto the roof, probably killing him. The other villain, just having watched her partner probably die, still thinks it's a good idea to hang on to the rope as the helicopter careens off the building's roof without a pilot. Our hero doesn't like the odds of the villain's survival (which is literally like .0005%) so he decides to take matters into his own hands and do the most epic thing he can't think of: SUPER JUMP off the building and KNEE her in the face. They then both fall to their presumptive deaths; which is the best ending to a movie, period.

I know he loved his elephants, but good God. This dude reallllllllllyyyy loved his elephants.

Anyway, I know I didn't need to recap it, since you are the movie, but do the world a favor and release the 'STOGI Cut' of just those 15-20 minutes. I promise you the world will love it as much as I did.

Watching you again I'm sure,
Stogi

[oohhboy]

You missed the amazing one continuous shot fight scene earlier in the brothel/hotel/restaurant @ 59:45. Tony Jaa has unbelievable action skills, but he can't act his way out of thin air let alone a wet paper bag. Asking him to act is like getting a cat to fly a plane. Not happening. The action works because he isn't acting. The fighting is the only thing that literally holds up the entire film. He is very lucky he got a competent action director that shot and edited the action serviceably that had some balls to do some seriously advanced work that should have been outside his ability. Hollywood would have quick cut and shaken everything utterly destroying the action.

Unfortunately they had absolutely no idea how to do music, story, dialogue, sound design, comedy or anything not related to action. Ong Bak was a better movie overall, between the two The Protector had the better action, but they literally threw away everything for the action. Unfortunately Tony Jaa is too much of a one trick Pony and his movies just get worse and worse. There was a "Pass the torch" moment between Tony and Jackie Chan in The Protector, but it is undeserved despite Tony's asskicking resumé. Tony might be higher Octane than Jackie, however Jackie has passable acting and language skills. Until Tony expands his skill set outside of fighting, he will never be as great as he should be. People do need a little be more than "Where's my elephant!".

Also a quick correction, he doesn't kick the pilot, he kicks the passenger. A helicopter without a pilot would crash immediately without an auto hover. Thee villain was going to get away without his intervention hence the insane flying double knees.

[tendoboy1984]

Dear "The Protector" (2005),

So I watched your movie late last night and until the 1:23:00 mark, you are pretty much exactly what I was expecting; a mix of badly written lines, decent stunts and great martial arts. Then 1:23:00 happens and you turn into the BEST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN. And how could you not be? At that very moment, your protagonist walks into a press conference with a baby elephant screaming "Where the hell is my elephant?!" Everyone kinda looks at him dumbfounded until he elbows someone right in the face, starting a panic. Like a crazy person, he delivers a few hard hits to the screaming innocent, then he's off as quickly as he came in, following his little elephant (named 'Korn') through the building.

Korn leads him into an ambush and to the remains of his other fully grown elephant. Your protagonist decides this is the best time to mourn, which equates to three or four different takes of him hugging an elephant, even though it's at the worst possible time: when 30 or so dudes are kicking him in his sob-ridden face...repeatedly.

Then you have him get stabbed dead center of his liver (I'm no doctor, but that was definitely his liver and that was definitely the center). I know why you did this, you needed him to snap back from his fetish-like fantasy of being half-naked in a jungle hugging elephants, but...Ouch. Kinda brutal, no? I mean the guys knife went in like 6 inches. But for some reason, instead of our hero being like "Oww...blood?...WTF?...where's my ele...phant?" and passing out, you have him proceed to literally break more than a hundred bones in a row (I counted) in the most creative ways I've ever seen. This scene is so great, the sound effects alone are cringe-worthy. My favorite part is when he Million Dollar Baby's a dude with his knees.

Then to take your movie to new heights (read: lows), he uses the bones of his dead elephant to beat the living **** out of the villains' top body guards. Wasn't he just mourning? Didn't he love his elephant? Where's the respect to the dead? He used his elephant's femur to give a guy brain-damage!

Best part though is when Korn busts through the door looking for some action or to help or something (I don't know he's an elephant -- his intentions are hard to read). After the "oh look an elephant" moment wears off, he is immediately picked by his trunk and swung around into a wall. This scene is so unnecessary but is probably the greatest thing I've ever seen. Thank you for not leaving this on the cutting floor.

You definitely saved the best for last though when your hero chases down the villains for a final confrontation. He finds them attempting to escape from the roof by helicopter. One of them decided to leave earlier than the other, but lowers a rope so they can hang on as they make their get-away. Our protagonist doesn't like this and proceeds to SUPER JUMP KICK the pilot in the jaw, knocking him out of the helicopter and back onto the roof, probably killing him. The other villain, just having watched her partner probably die, still thinks it's a good idea to hang on to the rope as the helicopter careens off the building's roof without a pilot. Our hero doesn't like the odds of the villain's survival (which is literally like .0005%) so he decides to take matters into his own hands and do the most epic thing he can't think of: SUPER JUMP off the building and KNEE her in the face. They then both fall to their presumptive deaths; which is the best ending to a movie, period.

I know he loved his elephants, but good God. This dude reallllllllllyyyy loved his elephants.

Anyway, I know I didn't need to recap it, since you are the movie, but do the world a favor and release the 'STOGI Cut' of just those 15-20 minutes. I promise you the world will love it as much as I did.

Watching you again I'm sure,
Stogi

That is the best thing I have ever read. You should become a professional writer.

[oohhboy]

Quit spamming posts to get to a thousand.

[Oblivion]

He only has 235 posts. He's gonna have to post a lot more spam than that.

[Caliban]

I watched Black Dynamite... again. I will probably watch again soon. It still gets me laughing a few times.

[Halbred]

Krull (1983, Netlifx Instant)

From every objective standpoint, this is a terrible film. The word "Krull" isn't even in the script. It's a fantasy film that was, perhaps at one time, meant to be a D&D movie. Despite its MANY shortcomings, it still manages to be watchable, due largely to the musical score and very nice scenery.

[tendoboy1984]

Quit spamming posts to get to a thousand.

Hey kid, I come here to have conversations with other members. If you don't like it, then oh well. Grow up.

[Fatty The Hutt]

Krull (1983, Netlifx Instant)

From every objective standpoint, this is a terrible film. The word "Krull" isn't even in the script. It's a fantasy film that was, perhaps at one time, meant to be a D&D movie. Despite its MANY shortcomings, it still manages to be watchable, due largely to the musical score and very nice scenery.

All Hail The Glaive! Bad-Ass weapon of the 80's

[Adrock]

The Avengers
It's a 2 and a half hour action scene interrupted by extremely brief exchanges of dialog. I enjoyed it a lot because I didn't expect it to be any more than a comic book erection.

[nickmitch]

Everytime I come in to this thread, I applaud BNM for that quote.

[Oblivion]

It was more than just a comic book erection. It was a fucking super boner.

[Shorty McNostril]

It was more than just a comic book erection. It was a fucking super boner.

I did mention this a week ago.

[UncleBob]

Avengers was good.  Seeing the new Batman trailer on the big screen just reminds me how much I dislike the new DC logo though.

[Halbred]

Yeah. The new DC logo is f*cking stupid.

[TJ Spyke]

I thought the last DC logo was stupid too, but it grew on me. Maybe this one will too

[UncleBob]

I wasn't a huge fan of the previous swooshy DC logo... much prefer the one before... but I really dislike this logo because it highlights the thing I hate about their name...  The whole "Detective Comics Comics" thing annoys me.  If the logo was just the "DC" part, I'd survive.  It's the text below... not only is the word "Comics" redundant (even if it is what DC calls themself, but now the logo says "DC DC Comics"... grr.

[Halbred]

Oh, right, movies we saw.

Fellow Frozen North Dinnercast co-hosts Marcus, Courtney and I all sat down to watch "We're Back!" which is based on a children's picture book. In it, dinosaurs are given "brain grain" by an enterprising alien and are sent to 20th century New York to live in the Natural History Museum. To get there, they hide in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. It's pretty awesome (the book).

The movie is almost completely different. While there are dinosaurs involved, they are all stupid. The T.rex is voiced by John "Walter Sobchak" Goodman. Nobody else is important. THIS time, the dinosaurs are fed brain grain by a spaceship/time traveling old man who wants to fulfill children's wishes. Good gawd, you can see where this is going. He tells the dinosaurs to go to the Natural History Museum too, but STAY AWAY from my evil brother, Professor Screweyes.

Guess what happens.

The dinosaurs meet a street tough ten-year-old and a younger debutante girl who's voiced by Lisa Simpson. For whatever reason, the boy wants to run off to the circus, the dinosaurs sing a song in a parade then get chased by the cops and end up in Central Park where...you'll never believe this...Professor Screweyes' circus is! He trades the kids for the dinosaurs and turns them back into feral beasts (this radically changes their appearance).* With the help of a down-on-his-luck clown who is NOT voiced by Dom DeLouise--and should have been--they kids rescue the dinosaurs using The Power of Love** and, with a little deus ex machina, escape the circus and go to the museum where a little old lady voiced by Julia Childs helps them fulfill children's wishes (to see real dinosaurs).

It is a terrible film. The animation is crappy, too. The one funny part is that it was in theaters around the same time as Jurassic Park, and in fact that film is playing in a theater during the parade scene. You want dinosaurs? Go see THAT movie.

*I'm fairly certain that Rex's animalistic form IS Sharptooth, only brown. There are tons of similarities, and the movie even opens with a shot-for-shot reproduction of one of the early Sharptooth chase sequences in Land Before Time. Since Spielberg's name is attached to LBT, We're Back, AND Jurassic Park, it wouldn't surprise me if Rex is meant to be a reformed Sharptooth.

**This was NOT what Huey Lewis had in mind.

[BranDonk Kong]

The new DC logo sucks.