Dress up like Jon Lindemann.
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A first person shooter would probably please everyone.
No way will Nintendo do that again. It's what they did originally and Retro couldn't get anything done. When Nintendo first commissioned them to make GC games, they had four games planned. Only Metroid Prime ever came from that and it was finished only after Nintendo completely bought the company, fired the founders, and cancelled the other three projects.
Not true at all. Believe it or not, there are lots of people who don't like FPS games.