So it was my first night in Vegas yesterday and damn.........I met Chaz Palminteri! He's fuckin old haha. Also, there's this playmate Nahtasha Budhi that lives on the floor below me. She smokes *EXPLICATIVE* all the time so I wouldn't mind meeting her.
Anyway, Hawaii was the best and I miss it already. I'm more of the adventure type and Hawaii only furthered that along. Through all the scrapes and bruises, cuts and aches, I feel much stronger as a result. I feel like I can try anything. Nothing worries me anymore.
Though I did fail.....I couldn't find a boat (in time), which means I couldn't travel to the other islands. That sucked. Looking off the east coast of Oahu and seeing Molokai in the distance, Wind Waker style, was such a tease. Ughhh......maybe another time.
My trip was fucking awesomely strange though. I didn't tell you guys, but a week before I left, some fucked up **** happened with the chick I was visiting. I don't want to go into detail but I couldn't stay at her place. Needless to say, I was fucked. Luckily, another friend of mine from highschool had an internship out there. He let me stay with him and as a result, I met his cool ass roommate.
This chick was strange at first. She's 33 or something and native to Hawaii. Like the Top Chef am I, I cooked her a gorgeous meal with some fresh fish, fruit, and vegetables I got from chinatown on the cheap and she warmed up real quick. She let me push her whip around the island and even let me meet her parents. Meeting her parents doesn't sound that cool, but they grow bud! Hahahaha It was so tight. I was instantly transported back to Amsterdam. I chilled with them and roamed their garden of soil and hydroponic plants. I stuck my nose in everyone of them and just sniffed away. They let me try some that they had cured and it knocked me off my feet. I was so fucking blazed it was ridiculous. Literally 20 minutes later I was kayaking to a small island off the coast with my buddy from highschool. I had never kayaked before and neither had he, but we pulled it off flawlessly and even surfed on the waves and eventually on the beach (something about riding on top of a wave is majestic by the way). We kicked it there for a good minute and for good reason. The air out there was therapeutic. It was literally the freshest air I had ever breathed. It felt amazing.
I ended up buying a bag off her parents later that night and smoked till my hearts content all over the island. Name a beach and I've been there and maybe even surfed or snorkeled out there. Speaking of snorkeling, YOU HAVE TO TRY IT. Oh man, as soon as I put the goggles on and started breathing underwater....something clicked. I kept thinking to myself "Oh ****. It's on. It's so on." With flippers, even the worst swimmer can glide across the ocean with ease. Even so, I took a couple lessons from the sea turtles I swam with and used minimal effort. It was awesome. Swimming through schools of fish and teasing eels.......man, there is nothing like it. It makes me want to learn to SCUBA dive all the more.
And what type of adventure would it be if I didn't meet a girl? It was fucking weird how I met her too! One of the few nights I went out (I only went out twice and only got drunk once), I went to some lame ass bar. This bar was fucking stupid. They had some competition because of some girl that had turned 18. The DJ kept making random dudes grind with her while she sat in a chair in the middle of the stage. What was worse is that they kept pouring shots down her throat! It was pretty fucked up and really awkward to watch. Anyway, I was exhausted and wasn't really in pimp mode (early that day, I hiked up a mountain and jumped off a 40 ft cliff into some cold cold water) but I was, of course, still looking. That's when I saw her. It was weird. She was this beautiful native Hawaiin girl with bronze skin and long wavy dark brown/ brown/sun blonde hair; a girl I know I've never seen before. Still, she looked vaguely familiar and she looked good.....really really good. She even had the flower over her ear and everything.
Something was wrong with me though. I don't know where my balls went. The confidence I so often rely on vanished within viewing her. I couldn't bring myself to even say hi. Like a creep, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. There were a couple times we locked eyes, but not in an awkward way, but I couldn't do ****. Fed up, I left the bar in shame.
Two days later I hit up Lanikai beach (look it up). This beach was gorgeous. I swam there for hours and hours on end. At sunset, I lit up my hookah and waited for the moon to arrive, but it never came. I chilled there till it was completely dark, but still, nothing. So I packed up my **** and decided to get some grub. I went to this first place on a recommendation, but it wasn't till after I sat down and got a drink that I noticed I hit up the wrong restaurant (stupid stoner). So I politely left and went to my real destination. I walked into this place and it had a Lilo and Stitch vibe about it. There were bright colors everywhere and overall a pleasant aesthetic. It felt comfortable. The hostess sat me down in a pimp ass corner booth and told me my waiters name and dipped. I started rummaging through the menu when my waiter comes by..........Holy ****, it was her! I know this island isn't big, but what are the chances! As shocked as I was, I played it cool. I didn't want to be creepy. So I made small talk about the drinks and after I ordered a beer, I asked her if we had met before. She replied with "I don't think so..." Then I said, "Oh....weird. You look real familiar, that's all." I knew exactly where I had seen her, but I didn't want to let on.
She comes back with my beer and immediately says "You know what? Were you at that bar a couple nights ago?" I smiled and said "That's where I saw you.....It was your blouse that threw me off." She giggled and said "Ya...I was wearing something a little skimpier." We laughed and then I said "You still look cute though." She blushed and walked away.....only to turn back and say, "I'm sorry...I just started working here...Were you ready to order?" (She just started working there?! Are you kidding me?!) I gave her my order and blah blah blah....
After dinner, she brought the check and I left her a fat tip. It was then that something suddenly became off about me; not again! It was now or never time and I felt strange. And even though at one point she felt so comfortable that she sat down in my booth, I couldn't bring myself to ask her out or try to get her number. I just kinda smiled and left.
****.
I left the place in shame. As shitty as I was feeling, I picked my head up and the first thing I saw was the moon, shining so brilliantly. I decided then to drive back to the beach. Oh man, was it beautiful. It was more beautiful than anything I had ever seen in my life. Sitting on the beach with the waves gently lapping the shore, the islands in the distance a blueish hue; the moon, as big as ever against the pitch black sky, with it's light reflected across the water's surface; I was nearly brought to tears it was so beautiful. I stayed there looking at that scene for what seemed like hours. That's when it clicked. "**** it." I said. Like something off of "The Aviator" over and over again, the phrase "**** it" just kept popping into my head. What would happen if I asked her out and she said "No"? I'd be in the exact same situation. So, **** It.
I went back to that diner with a renewed sense of confidence. I walked in and immediately felt awkward. "**** it" I said and shook that feeling right off me. I saw her cleaning a table near the back. I started to march. I kept thinking to myself, this moment is triumphant, glorious, impeccable! You will tell this tale for years to come! I felt great, but man, I swear everything was in slow mo. Everyone was looking at me weird but I paid them no attention. I walked up on her and she turned and looked at me wild eyed. I almost froze right there, but I sat her down and proceeded to tell her how I felt. I'm not sure what I said (I never am when I ramble on), something about "I'd be a fool to let this moment pass me by", but she would not show any approving emotions. So I tried harder and harder still, but she wouldn't say a word! All she would let on was that she was bewildered. So I finished and slipped her my name and number on a piece of paper. I respectfully said my good byes (which she did not reply to) and I left.
Once outside I felt incredibly disappointed. But whatever, at least I tried. Either way, the outcome was the same.
I get back to the crib and told everybody what happened. People agreed: It was commendable to at least try. That night, I sleep terribly. The next morning I wake up to a text saying "Hey it's Anale (pronounced ah-nah-lay). I don't know who you are but I have never been so flattered in all my life. You were so sincere. I don't normally do this, but would you like to come to a luau tonight?"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THANK YOU GOD! I started jumping around and in a Dave Chappelle like manner, I started dry humping everything while I laughed hysterically. After I cooled down, I called her back and we talked for a bit.
Everything was down hill from there. It was crazy awesome. The luau was right up my alley. Nice little spot on the beach with tiki torches and music. I met her sisters (younger and older; she's only 19 btw) and friends. They were really impressed by my brother and I. We kicked it and sat on the beach, just chillin, eating, smoking and drinking. I could tell she was reserved, but as the night went on, she started to trust me. As a joke I begin to serenade her with Bob Marley, singing: "From the very first time I set my eyes on you, girl. My heart said follow through." She teased me, saying that it wasn't till the third time that I had the balls to confront her. She pushed me and I pushed her back. Throughout the night, we became more and more physical. For a minute, I just kinda held her as we talked. Then I kinda tricked her into kissing me with the classic "kiss me on the cheek, you know you like me" and then just as she's about to kiss me, I turned and kissed her on the lips. That's when she slapped me! Then she pretty much tackled me and then actually kissed me. It was great.
The next week and up until I left, we kicked it almost everyday. She taught me how to surf (though I still suck), and took me snorkeling again. Any activity would always end up with us laying on the beach at sunset together, just shooting the ****.
I fell hard for her. I fell hard for Hawaii in general. It was truly paradise.
My last full day there she took me to Chinaman's hat (look it up) by kayak. I'm glad I had a little experience with a kayak before we headed out. It proved to be invaluable. It was really tough, but we finally made it. On the back end of the island, there's a nice little beach. You would never know it existed if you hadn't actually been there. We landed on the beach and carried the kayak a safe distance away from the water. We laid there for awhile to rest but soon started to trek up the tiny little mountain. As tiny as it was, it was a bitch to climb up. I've never climbed before, so I was getting real scared. She walked me through it though and man...was it worth it. The view of the mainland was crazy beautiful. Standing on top of the mountain made me feel like I had just conquered the world. Time was irrelevant. I wanted it to last forever. But she had to spoil my fun by enticing me with a surprise. I kept teasing her to tell me what it is but she kept tight lipped. (BTW, climbing down a mountain is much harder than climbing up and much more frightening)
We finally make it back to the kayak; that's when she pulled out of it a huge plastic bag filled with blankets, towels, food, and water bottle full of sangria (no wonder it was a lot heavier than I remembered). After a minute of grubbing out on cherries and gulping down sangria, she got up and started walking down the beach. She took off her top...then her bottom and walked half way into the water. During the 10 or so days I knew here, this girl wouldn't even let me caress her butt..... so naturally, I flip out. I jumped up, threw my board shorts to the ground, and ran in after her. We started laughing as we kissed. I carried her out of the water and towards the blankets. We continue to laugh as I struggle to keep to my balance. Finally, we make it. Without the need for foreplay, we *EXPLICIT*. Man, woman, and nature; It felt so right. My entire life; with all it's love, celebrations, troubles, and strife, had been leading up to this moment. It felt like this is the way it was always meant to be. And in that moment, I felt it; something truly unexplainable but I felt it! As we gazed into each other, it was like we had completed a cycle. It's hard to explain, but that uncanny familiarity I had with her started to make sense. It was as if we throughout time somewhere had already met and had lived out our lives but it only came abundantly clear at this point in time. You don't understand how real that feeling felt. It was really fucked up; almost scary.
It was either that or simply the pussy was amazing.
Afterwards, I had never felt so at peace with myself. The world could have ended and I would have accepted it willingly. Thoroughly exhausted, we pass out in the sun.
That night, she threw me a going away party. Like lovebirds, we wouldn't let each other go. Her sisters and my brother wouldn't stop teasing us. We didn't care though. After dinner, I had to go back into Honolulu to pack. That's when she gave me this bad ass necklace with a bone carving that looks eerily similar to Oni Link's sword.
Anyway...Now I'm in Vegas and I don't know why. I want to marry this girl....no seriously. I don't know how I'd make a living out there, but who cares.
I had a hilarious time last night, but what am I doing here?
Pre-post edit: Damn...what a long ass post.