I really liked the part where "no narcotics were found". At this point I am trying to figure out how stupid these people are. It's a close choice between monumentally and astronomically. You can't make this **** up. ****, using stupid is an insult to legitimately stupid people. You might pass off a single illegal search as an "oh **** sorry", but 8 searches in increasing order of invasiveness over an extended number of hours? Were they all mad? Collective fetish? Alien control? The matrix inserting a homing device?
I bet if the second doctor said no, the cops would have driven this guy around until they found one to say yes.
Was the guy almost naked from the waist down? How do you tell a clench buttocks from and unclenched one without x-ray vision or looking right up the guy's ass. Maybe the guy has no ass like Hank Hill. Did the cop think he was so sort of Super Trooper?
Well he wouldn't have a shortage of people to probe(sue) back. Surely this person is going/getting to get some righteous justice because I couldn't possibly give up on America more than I could now. I mean, **** professionalism, where the humanity? Oh that's right, it's too busy getting probed.