It's not like the NES and SNES had wacky gimmicks to make them standout.
Wait, what? Most controllers back in the early to mid 1980s had joysticks. And let's not forget this guy that Nintendo included to even get NES into stores:
As for what I want and in light of ShyGuy's post:
1. USB Type-C standard.
2. No power brick.
3. A hard drive bay. Sorry, this may be too mainstream.
4. The inevitable GamePad variant doubles as a universal remote (credit to BlackNMarvel2k1)
5. The ability to return/refund e-shop purchases within 14 days of purchase granted the game was played for less than two hours.
6. The ability to trade digital copies of games for e-shop credit. Really, I just want to purge Trine 2 from my account but get some kind of compensation for my terrible life choices.
7. Start up tutorials given by the Duck Hunt dog and when you do something wrong, he laughs at you.
8. Indigo and Spice colored controllers.
As for launch titles, since I don't play video games too often, I'd be set with Breath of the Wild and an enhanced Super Smash Bros. for Wii U port. I'd get around to the rest of the games eventually.