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4001
Nintendo Gaming / Re: Your Online Experience with Brawl
« on: April 04, 2008, 06:26:39 PM »
Editor RESPONSE!

Horrifying. Out of the eighteen or twenty people on my friends list, only four have registered. The rest are "awaiting registration." That includes ALL of my fellow NWR editors. Unbelievable. On the other hand, it's pretty easy to get "With Anyone" matches going, and I've never experienced crippling lag.

What pisses me off the most is that you can't play solo games while your Wii is online in the background. That is, you can't be playing through Subspace, and then a message pops up saying "Hey, So-and-So is online! He wants to play!" No, there's none of that. It sucks ballz.

It's a good thing that Smash is so good outside of the online shenanigans.

4002
TalkBack / REVIEWS: House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return
« on: April 03, 2008, 11:04:40 AM »
Umbrella Chronicles' ancestor returns from the grave.
 http://nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=15697

 The House of the Dead games are old. In fact, the original title penetrated our American arcade scene in 1996, which, ironically, was the year that Resident Evil took over our PlayStations. Two years later, Sega released The House of the Dead 2 in the arcades and later ported it to the Dreamcast, where it remains a system favorite. In 2002, House of the Dead 3 shambled into arcades, but because the American arcade scene had largely dissolved, the game was also ported to Xbox in 2003. Now, the latter two games have been compiled onto a single disk: House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return for Wii. The obvious light-gun potential of the Wii Remote helps make the game a whopping success, although there are instances when its arcade roots hold both games back from their true potential.    


The House of the Dead plotline is laughably similar to that of Resident Evil’s, including the virtual duplication of some boss monsters and overall “biological weapon” theme. Just like the Mansion Incident, the zombies in The House of the Dead are accidental byproducts of a much more sinister experiment. At any rate, the comical storyline can’t get in the way of the pure fun which comes from shooting zombies in the head and watching chunks go flying in all directions.    


For those of you who’ve never been to an arcade before (where, honestly, this series is a staple), House of the Dead is a basic rail shooter in which you’re given a pistol and shoot zombies as they come running toward you. Extra lives are earned by rescuing innocent civilians from the rampaging undead, and depending on how many zombies you’ve killed or people you’ve rescued, there are several branching paths in each individual level. Each level ends with an impressive boss fight which relies almost exclusively on pattern memorization and weak point spamming.    


And it’s incredibly fun. I loved Umbrella Chronicles because it invoked The House of the Dead; this new package comes with all the goodies from the Xbox House 3 like Time Attack, while House 2 gets a boss rush and a unique “Original” mode featuring item collection (again, clearly inspired by the Resident Evil series (whoo!)). Whereas most of us didn’t have the excessive quarters to afford duel-wielding in the arcade, it’s entirely possible and outrageously satisfying on the Wii. Or, like old times, you can grab a friend and blow through the undead army together. This is a great multiplayer experience. What’s more, both players can calibrate the Wii Remotes in relation to where they’re sitting.    


Unfortunately, Sega did nothing to hide the fact that this is an arcade game. “Player 1 (or 2) insert coin” flashes on the screen when somebody is dead or not playing. And it’s not like you can just insert that coin, either, because you only have so many lives (that is, quarters) until it’s Game Over. Eventually, you start earning Continues (more quarters) and extra lives which can be toggled in the options menu, but I much prefer the modern gaming approach, which has virtually phased out the concept of “lives” and “continues” and has implemented checkpoints and respawns. Maybe I’m just spoiled!    


The package suffers from the exclusion of the original House of the Dead, although I suspect that it was not included specifically because it never received a proper console port in the past (the buggy Saturn version doesn’t count). Because the original game contains some important plot information, it would have been nice if Sega included collectable “files” like those in Umbrella Chronicles to further flesh out the story. As it stands, players unfamiliar with the franchise may be left in the dark regarding the plot.    


While it’s disappointing that Sega didn’t include House of the Dead 4 in this package, House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return is a great value for the money. It’s a fantastic multiplayer game, and even if you’re just duel-wielding by your lonesome, blowing zombies apart is incredibly fun. If you liked Umbrella Chronicles (honestly, who didn’t?) or just like killing the undead in general, House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return is a must-buy. And if the storyline is that important to you, there’s always Wikipedia.

Pros:
       

  • Duel-wielding Wii Remotes
  •  
  • New game modes
  •  
  • The games still look and perform great


  •        Cons:
           
  • Original game not included
  •  
  • Could've used spawn points instead of "Game Over"


  •                Graphics:  7.0
           They’ve held up very well, and being able to blow chunks off or out of the character models is still a great effect (really, how many game engines allow that?).

                   Sound:  6.0
           The dialogue is so terrible it’s funny, especially in House 2. The music has a sort of hurried, feverish sound to it, which fits with the overall pacing of the games. There are some really horrible voice actors, too—it’s like they pulled people off the street.

                   Control:  9.0
           Point at the zombie and press B. Press 1 to skip cinema scenes. Can’t get much simpler! Calibrating your Wii Remote’s IR sensor won’t be necessary for most people, but will probably help on larger and smaller televisions. It’s a painless process and only takes about a minute, and I’m grateful that Sega thought to add it for those readers who are still living in the dorms with little 17” screens.

                          Gameplay:  7.0
           House of the Dead lacks the depth of Umbrella Chronicles, although that’s like blaming chimpanzees for not being able to walk upright yet. Grenades would have been nice, though.

     


           Lastability:  7.0
           Mastering the main games will actually take longer than you think, and the other game modes are surprisingly fun. Beating the main game unlocks new modes, so keep at it! After you’ve had your fill of solo zombie-killin’, House turns into a great multiplayer offering.

     


           Final:  8.0
           I love these games just because they’re so simple and entertaining. They’re even better on Wii (get a handgun attachment if you’re hardcore), and they’re a great value for the money.  While I really wish that the original game were included in this compilation, the two games you get are fantastic.      


    4003
    TalkBack / Homie Rollerz Review
    « on: March 31, 2008, 07:17:06 AM »

    Oh, when will death come?

    http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/review/15669/homie-rollerz-nintendo-ds

    One of my friends asked me the other day why I review awful, horrible, cramp-inducing shovelware without pay. My knee-jerk answer was “free games in the mail,” but there’s a larger, nobler motivation at work here. In playing such dreck as Animates, Bee Movie Game, Rockstar Presents Table Tennis and most recently, Spitfire Heroes, there comes a responsibility to relay to the public just how terrible these games are. If just one kid reads my review and avoids playing Nitrobike, it’ll all be worth it. Also, I get lots of free store credit.

    Homie Rollerz is one such example of a game with absolutely no redeeming qualities. The characters alone make me want to punch a squirrel. According to the always-reliable Wikipedia, the “Homies” brand consists of a bunch of vending machine figurines which portray campy stereotypes of Mexican and Latino people. Basically, they’re all wearing bling and have sagging jeans. And the women are whores.

    At any rate, Homie Rollerz drops these timeless characters into various vehicles (one guy is in a wheelchair) and forces them to race through awful, seizure-inducing racetracks. It’s not just that the racetracks are poorly designed;  the fact that the camera is centered on the back of your car means that the slightest turn left or right rotates the entire landscape. With all the unnecessary twists and turns that the courses offer, you’ll get a headache pretty quickly.

    The graphics range from terrible to Lovecraftian. The environments are so blocky, and the framerate and draw distance so inconsistent, you’ll swear you were playing a beta, or even an alpha (is there something earlier than alpha?).  The sound is also terrible. You know how sometimes you’ll pull up to a truck at a red light, and they’ve got their bass beating away with only a faint suggestion of overlying music? That’s what you’ll find here. There’s no voicework or really even sound effects…only horrible, horrible music to go with terrible graphics and offensive characters. It’s the complete package of suck, really.

    At least the controls are good, right? Well, no. Aside from the camera problems mentioned above, D-Pad movement is jerky and disorienting. You can use items, but they don’t seem to have much of an effect on your opponents. My favorite (read: least favorite) item is the one that switches you with the kart ahead of you. I imagine Nintendo would have handled this item wonderfully in Mario Kart, but in Homie Rollerz, it leads to crashing into things! You can do tricks involving hopping, leaning, and…hopping off of ramps. These altogether menial tricks award you NOS (nitro), which you can use to boost ahead. But you don’t really, because there’s no feeling of speed, and it’s not like you can ever pass anybody.

    That’s another disappointing aspect of Homie Rollerz: its difficulty. It takes a significant amount of re-tries to make it out of last place during any given race. And even then, some courses seemingly cannot be won.  For example, the haunted house course is rife with twists, turns, blind corners, and ill-placed ramps, yet your ‘bot opponents never have any trouble with the course design. They always go for the open lane, and know how to avoid trouble sections. But you? You’re only human. When controlled by human hands, your kart can only turn so sharply, and the draw distance only shows so much.

    But wait! Perhaps things are only this difficult when you’re racing with a beginner’s kart. After all, you can…pimp your ride (my English degree just caught fire) by earning Respect, and spending that Respect on new gear for your vehicle such as better tires and engines. Sadly, these customizations have little positive effect on the performance of your kart. In some cases, improvements in one area actually decrease performance in another. The best (and most expensive) parts require an ungodly amount of Respect which would require you to continue playing Homie Rollerz past the five-minute mark, which is not a premise I can encourage.

    Homie Rollerz offers up to eight-player single-card download play, but if you don’t have seven friends (like me), ‘bots fill in the blanks. These ‘bots will always win the race – a race that takes several minutes to load on multiple systems. There’s also multi-card play, but having such a feature implies that more than one person will accidentally get Homie Rollerz for their birthday, which, I pray to God in Heaven above, will not happen.


    4004
    TalkBack / REVIEWS: Spitfire Heroes: Tales of the Royal Air Force
    « on: March 26, 2008, 07:19:16 AM »
    This is pain you have to experience first-hand to appreciate.
     http://nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=15617

     Picture yourself flying over a vapid, pixelated landscape.  Half of this flatland is green while the other half is blue.  Your mission is to hunt down and destroy enemy tanks, which are slowly rolling their way toward the blue half of the screen. You can’t see the tanks, or really anything at all, until you descend towards the ground.  Suddenly, trees pop into existence. You check your radar, handily displayed on the touch screen.  Look at all of those orange dots!  That’s a lot of tanks!  But…why do the tanks look like trees?  Suddenly, a square of pixels jumps out in front of you.  At a whopping two pixels in height - dwarfed by the foliage - you wonder if it’s a tank.  And so you begin firing, but your shots fly over the top of the pixels. You put your plane’s nose down and begin coasting dangerously close to the ground below.  The tank roars closer, reaching its full, impressive six pixel height. You shoot until the screen says it’s been destroyed, and as you’re cheering, you crash your plane right into the turf.    


    This is your first impression of Destineer’s Spitfire Heroes: Tales of the Royal Air Force, and it speaks volumes.  One can make it past this area with determination and a little trial-and-error, but there isn’t much incentive since the experience doesn’t improve from there.  With frustrating gameplay and worse pop-up than the original SNES Star Fox, in Spitfire Heroes war is not hell - it’s just extremely boring and aggravating.    


    Controlling your plane is done with the D-Pad. The touch screen displays your plane’s “health” and radar, but isn’t used for much else besides graphical filler.  Use care when easing up on the throttle, because you can stall and, predictably, explode. You can also move the throttle forward to boost (“Fox! Use the boost!”), but doing so decreases your turn radius.  Unfortunately, the side effect of this is that you rarely see your attackers.    


    You can perform barrel-rolls (“Fox! Do a barrel roll!”), but they seem to have little effect besides exciting your pursuers.  You’ll see red dots on your radar closing on your position, and soon shots begin to pummel your little fighter with virtually no warning.  No amount of awkward dipping or listing lazily to the left can shake these enemy hot-shots, and barrel-rolling does nothing.  Soon you’re blown out of the sky and gritting your teeth.    


    The R button fires your guns while the L button is used to activate auto-targeting, which does little besides making your plane’s movement imprecise and unpredictable.  On one occasion the auto-targeting drove my apparently suicidal pilot directly into the path of an enemy fighter, causing a mid-air collision.  It isn’t very helpful!    


    Spitfire Heroes’ gameplay can be confusing and annoying all at once.  For example, on one occasion I destroyed all three fighters I was pitted against by bobbing, weaving, and holding down the fire button.  I noticed six more tanks had spawned, and I destroyed them too.  Mission over!  I won!  But I actually lost, because I took too long and died too often.  I couldn’t recall one of my mission objectives being “don’t get shot down”, but apparently that’s what it took to win a battle back then.    


    From a graphical standpoint your plane looks great, but backgrounds are pixelated as are enemy tanks, fighters, and trees.  Explosions are 2D, along with the “particle effects” of your gunfire.  Landscapes are divided neatly into three colors: light blue for the sky, darker blue for the ocean, and green for the land, with a dash of light brown thrown in for sand.    


    The underpowered graphics engine also hampers gameplay; a later mission has you protecting an air base against seemingly hundreds of German bombers and their fighter plane escorts.  This is an impossible task given the game’s limited draw distance, and this factor combined with pixelated object models makes firing with accuracy a shot in the dark, so to speak.  Spitfire Heroes’ graphics are underwhelming, to say the least.    


    The sound is equally uninspiring.  Aside from the roar of your engines and gunfire, there is no sound.  No music, no real sound effects, no voiceovers, no nothing.  DS gamers expect better, especially this far into the system’s lifespan.    


    Spitfire Heroes supports multi-card local wireless play, which isn’t likely to get much use besides commiserating with somebody else that happened to pick up the game.  Your time would be much better spent elsewhere.

    Pros:
           

  • Your plane looks pretty


  •        Cons:
           
  • Objects don't appear until you're about to hit them
  •  
  • Auto-targeting doesn't target automatically
  •  
  • Poor graphics engine gets in the way of gameplay


  •                Graphics:  3.0
           Pixelated landscapes devoid of detail are disheartening, but then the pop-up of boxy tanks, paper airplanes, and obviously 2D trees cheapen the experience further.  The plane model is clearly where all the graphics work was focused, as it looks nice and detailed.

                   Sound:  1.0
           There is no sound. Aside from the “rata-tata” of your guns, there is no sound.

                   Control:  4.0
           The control scheme is the high point of this game. The D-Pad works wonders, but moves like barrel-rolling serve little function.  As a bonus, you can speed up AND slow down.  Revolutionary.

                          Gameplay:  3.0
           You’ll play the same level over and over again until you theoretically win, at which point you learn that you’ve actually lost.  Once you clear that level (after much frustration), you get to repeat the process with another near-impossible mission.

     


           Lastability:  1.0
           There is better shovelware than this game.  I don’t really know why you’re reading this review instead of playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

     


           Final:  2.0
           Spitfire Heroes: Tales of the Royal Air Force has frustrating gameplay, nearly non-existent sound and music, and poor graphics that make an already difficult game even harder.  It has a useable control scheme, but that doesn’t save it from being a game that should never grace the screen of your Nintendo DS.      


    4005
    TalkBack / REVIEWS: Naruto: Ninja Destiny
    « on: March 06, 2008, 07:04:39 AM »
    A beautiful, competent fighter on the DS? That's un-possible!
     http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=15469

     Let’s face it: the DS is lacking when it comes to fighting games. In fact, the only other one I can recall is Ultimate Mortal Kombat. With such thin competion, Tomy didn’t have to put that much effort into Naruto: Ninja Destiny to make an impact, but they did. While it’s no Soulcalibur, Naruto: Ninja Destiny is the ultimate DS fighter released so far. It’s fun, gorgeous, and engaging. What more do you need?    


    The game’s two main modes are Story and Arcade. Because I’m in no way familiar with Naruto, I cannot pretend to intelligently review the Story mode’s storyline. I can only assume that it follows the plot of the TV show. Story sequences take place between fights and involve character portraits and scrolling text.  Occasionally these sequences take far too long, although pressing Start will skip them entirely. Interestingly, Story mode does not force you to play through one character’s entire storyline; rather, you play as virtually every character at least once. For example, in one fight you’ll play as a scary-looking dude against a woman. In the very next fight, you’ll be the woman against Naruto! The Story mode is fairly short, but it comes in two difficulty flavors, and you can unlock four characters by playing it.    


    Meanwhile, Arcade mode lets you select a single character and proceed to battle a string of other characters with no storyline in between.  Arcade mode goes quickly and you can unlock a lot more characters by playing through it. Additionally, Arcade mode allows you to become familiar with the very divergent fighting styles of all the characters.    


    The fighting engine itself is surprisingly robust. You attack with the Y and B buttons, alternating them in different orders to roll out some awesome combos. Each character has his or her own combo strings which you’ll have to discover on your own.  R blocks, and L teleports your fighter behind your opponent—this is great for avoiding getting your ass handed to you, but be aware that your opponents can do it too!  Jumping is performed with the X button, and different attacks can be unleashed while you’re in the air.    


    The A button initiates an unblockable super attack. The super attacks are a bit unbalanced; some characters have fairly weak super attacks, but one evil, cheap bastard in particular has a super attack that drains 75% of your health on Hard mode. Super attacks also tend to be unreliable—if your opponent hits you while you are pressing A, the attack will cancel, but your chakra power (see below) will be drained as if the attack was performed.  Fail!    


    Chakra power builds throughout the fight, being eventually used for super attacks and teleports. You do not want to abuse the teleporting move, because before you know it you’ll be out of chakra power and your opponent will be shoving his foot up your nose while you helplessly mash the A button. It’s better to block an opponent’s combo attempt (gaining chakra as he attacks), then teleport behind him at the last second and lay down the smack. In fact, once you get the hang of how the chakra meter works, you can start teleporting, attacking, and finishing things off with a super attack, at which point you feel like a total bad-ass.    


    The touch screen adds some unique elements to gameplay. At the beginning of every fight, you are randomly assigned six symbols that grant bonuses when you tap them on the bottom screen.  You might receive a stat increase, extra health, or disable your opponent’s ability to use chakra power.  More than just a gimmick, the symbols add a huge element of strategy to each match, forcing you to think ahead and make use of whichever bonuses might ensure a win.  However, once a symbol is used it’s gone for good.  Unfortunately, each new battle brings a random assemblage of symbols; you might get a killer mix in one fight, but then nothing but chakra increases or defense uppers in the next fight. Despite being initially irritating, this random aspect actually forces you to improve your button game so that you don’t rely too heavily on the symbols to win fights.    


    Ninja Destiny’s graphics are beautiful. In fact, they’re some of the best to hit the DS.  The fully 3D characters are clean and blacklined (reminiscent of Viewtiful Joe, but with more polish), character models animate smoothly, and the framerate never stutters.  The backgrounds are oddly captivating, resembling out-of-focus landscapes against the focused fighting in the foreground.  Colors are bright, and the particle effects (2D cheats though they may be) are surprisingly impressive. The voice actors from the show lend their talents to the game, albeit in yelping form. There is also some spoken “victory” dialogue, which is always good to hear.    


    Naruto: Ninja Destiny features multi-card local wireless play. One can only hope that future iterations of this series will implement single-card download play or - dare I say it - full Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection support.  As it stands, this is one DS game which will be played solo for most of its lifespan.    


    Other than the lack of multiplayer options, there isn’t much to complain about in this newest iteration of the Naruto franchise.  More game modes would be nice, and super attacks shouldn’t be so cheap (it’s tough to watch 75% of your health drained by one attack), but these issues aren’t enough to direct gamers away from Naruto: Ninja Destiny. It is truly one of the powerhouse titles on the DS, and everybody should give it a try - especially Naruto fans.

    Pros:
           

  • No expense spared in graphical quality
  •  
  • Teleporting aspect adds a great back-and-forth quality to matches
  •  
  • Lots of unlockable characters
  •  
  • Plenty of variety in fighting styles

           Cons:
           
  • Super attacks can be cheap
  •  
  • Limited wireless play
  •  
  • Story mode is hard to follow (but then, I don't watch the TV show)


  •                Graphics:  9.0
           Smooth, clean, no framerate stutters or jaggies - this game is beautiful! Some character models are less detailed than others, and some of the super attack effects look a bit 2D, but a great job otherwise.

                   Sound:  7.0
           Voices from the show are great, and the music is generally good. What’s unfortunate is that the music never changes. Each fight has the same “fight” music, and each story sequence has the same “story” music.  More variety would be appreciated.

                   Control:  8.0
           In the heat of battle, it can be easy to forget which shoulder button blocks and which one teleports.  Aside from that, the controls are spot-on.  It would have been great to have an in-game list of everybody’s combo strings, but maybe next time. Super attacks can sometimes be tricky to pull off.

                          Gameplay:  8.0
           Entirely engaging, and only the super attacks “cheapen” the experience. The teleporting adds a level of inventiveness to this fighter, and while I would prefer more traditional special attacks to combo strings, there’s ultimately nothing wrong with the fighting engine. I do wish there was a more robust multiplayer experience, though.

     


           Lastability:  7.0
           Lots of characters to unlock will keep you playing long into the night, although most of the replay is derived from Arcade mode. The lack of single-card download play or Nintendo Wi-Fi functionality shortens the game’s lifespan beyond the unlocking of characters, though.

     


           Final:  8.0
           Naruto: Ninja Destiny is an excellent DS game in terms of its presentation and contribution to the genre. You would be remiss in writing this game off, even if you don’t follow Naruto (like me). If you’re looking for a strong fighting game for your DS, this is by far your best bet.      


    4006
    Ye Olde Rail Slasher.
     http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=15454

     I don’t know what you’re expecting from Dragon Quest Swords, but if you’re thinking it’s the big-budget RPG shot in the arm that the Wii so desperately needs, put those thoughts to rest right now. Yes, Dragon Quest Swords looks just like Dragon Quest VIII on the PS2. Yes, there is a rudimentary RPG-esque leveling, equipment, and menu system. No, Dragon Quest Swords is not an RPG.  To put it in shocking perspective, I hope you like Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles because it has the same basic concept as Dragon Quest Swords.    


    Gameplay consists of embarking on specific, repeatable missions. On these missions your character travels along a rail, pausing only briefly so that you can choose to go either left or right. When enemies are encountered, you swing your Wii Remote through the air in a sword-like manner, slashing foes to kingdom come and blocking their attacks with your shield. At the end of the mission you encounter a boss monster that relies exclusively on patterned attacks.  Defeat the beast and you are given a score, grade, and rank. Your grade determines what bonus items you walk away with.    


    That’s basically the whole game. In between missions you wander around your hometown of Avalonia, talking to NPCs and buying new armor and weapons. Because you accrue so much gold during each individual mission, you’ll rarely find the next level of armor or sword outside of your price range. Your sword can be tempered (with the right ingredients) to include an elemental charge. Your shield may break during missions, at which point you can repair it or buy a more resistant shield. Like other Dragon Quest games, mini-medals can be collected and traded for rare items and equipment.    


    Controls around town are simple: you hold the Wii Remote upright, interacting with anything highlighted by a red arrow.  In first-person mode your character moves with the D-Pad, utilizing the outdated Resident Evil “tank” scheme. There is no option to plug in the analog stick, and D-Pad movement takes some getting used to. If you don’t like pressing “up” to move forward, you can just press B.  While on missions, you similarly hold B to move forward, but since you’re on a rail I could never figure out why you don’t just move forward automatically.    


    The fun begins when beasties litter your path.  You slash the Wii Remote horizontally, vertically, or diagonally to attack incoming creatures.  You can theoretically also perform a stabbing motion, but I was unable to successfully stab anything.  Stabs typically end up registering as slashes, which is problematic since there are encounters in the game specifically geared towards stabbing.    


    Pressing B raises your shield, used to guard against physical and projectile attacks. Some projectile attacks (like arrows) can be batted back at the enemy, and you can re-center your sword at any time by pressing A anywhere on the screen.  Advanced “Master Strokes” require preordained motions for extremely damaging attacks which are best saved for boss encounters.  Until you get used to the fast pace of matches, it can be easy to lose track of the cursor on the screen for targeting or blocking.  Battles end as quickly as they begin, sending you back to the on-rails portion of the game.    


    Along the way your character recruits three heroic comrades, with one of them at a time coming along on missions with you (unfortunately, there’s no multiplayer element in Dragon Quest Swords, even though it would seem like an obvious addition). Your friends perform cheerleading and spellcasting duties, but also tend to suck up health items. Fortunately, this is balanced by each of them having a unique pool of spells that has new spells added to it as they level up.  You can give your ally some pre-arranged AI commands, or take control of his or her spell pool directly from the menu.    


    Leveling up, as well as virtually all item collection, occurs seamlessly in the background.  When you get back to town, however, you are quickly dragged down by the game’s traditional RPG menu system. You have to wade through about ten different menus to buy armor, and then go back and sell what you don’t want anymore. Sword tempering is another needlessly complicated affair. You must pick “temper,” then the sword you want tempered, then what you want it tempered into, then how much it will cost, then what items you have with which to temper it…it’s just a chore.    


    The story and characters don’t really keep you interested, either. Right out the gate you know that that mask in question is evil (I’m not ruining anything, folks), and that our heroes will have to confront the demon in the mask.  In typical Dragon Quest fashion, it’s an ancient and pissed-off evil. The plot never diverges from this track, resulting in cinema scenes that soon become tiresome.    


    Dragon Quest Swords looks great, however. The aesthetic is that of Dragon Quest VIII, but with more lively color and shading. Individual character models have precious few movements so you’ll see your friends repeat the same motions to no end, but they look good doing it.  Enemies are well-animated with far better textures than their PS2 counterparts. Better yet, all characters have spoken dialogue!  Voices fit their characters most of the time, although some of the boss monsters have voices that are just plain silly. Like Dragon Quest VIII, all of the voice actors are British - some people like the charm, others don’t, but I loved it.    


    The parallels with Umbrella Chronicles cannot be ignored. This is a rail shooter in which your gun has been replaced by a sword that can’t stab.  However, Dragon Quest Swords is not nearly as long or as deep as Capcom’s zombie-fest, and the unlockables are nowhere near as satisfying.  One of the strengths of Umbrella Chronicles is that your skills always improve, and you can level up your weapons in a meaningful way.  Here, you’ve mastered the game once you get the hang of swinging your Wii Remote around.  Acquiring bigger swords is nice, but it doesn’t affect gameplay.    


    The Dragon Quest atmosphere of Dragon Quest Swords only goes so far before you start itching for some gameplay variety (although the visuals never get old).  Fans of the series should certainly give it a try; but if you don’t count yourself among that niche audience, you should rent before buying since you might beat the game in a weekend.

    Pros:
           

  • Interesting sword-meets-shooter arcade vibe
  •  
  • Looks and sounds fantastic
  •  
  • There's an element of strategy to enemy encounters


  •        Cons:
           
  • Stabbing motions don't register
  •  
  • Cliched storyline does nothing to hold your interest
  •  
  • Rewards aren't good enough to replay missions
  •  
  • Lack of multiplayer is a glaring omission


  •                Graphics:  8.0
           I cannot fault the character design (despite their limited animations); monsters look fantastic, and the environments manage to be both majestic and, when the situation calls for it, eerie and foreboding. The particle effects are passable but far from mind-blowing.

                   Sound:  7.0
           The voice actors are excellent! The sound effects are great too, but there are far too few musical themes. Each mission should have a distinct one, but old tunes are recycled far too often.

                   Control:  7.0
           The Resident Evil “tank” controls are unwelcome, and having no option to plug in the analog stick is just mind-boggling.  Wandering around Avalonia is a chore.  Battle sequences fare much better, but the poor registering of stabbing motions is a big problem since certain enemy encounters require stabbing.

                          Gameplay:  6.0
           Some individual missions carry on too long, the rewards for completing missions aren’t very good, and the sword swinging does get old after a while.

     


           Lastability:  6.0
           After you beat Dragon Quest Swords (a task that’s not difficult to achieve), you’ll find that there’s not much reason to go back.  A new difficulty and “new” boss fights do not pique my interest.  And how is there no multiplayer?

     


           Final:  7.0
           Dragon Quest Swords ends up being a fun but ultimately empty experience that gets old after a few hours, making you wish you could play through it with a friend. It’s not bad, but it lacks polish and longevity.  Dragon Quest fans should definitely give it a look, but those looking for a similar experience are best to check out Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles, a longer game with deeper gameplay.      


    4007
    TalkBack / REVIEWS: Assassin's Creed Altaïr's Chronicles
    « on: February 23, 2008, 06:44:17 PM »
    Read: Prince of Persia DS.
     http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=15394

     I don’t know if any of you Nintendo-philes have played Assassin’s Creed on PS3 or Xbox 360, but it kicks a lot of ass. You explore an enormous, gorgeous, open world while sneaking through big crowds, hiding from guards, researching marks, and assassinating dudes by stabbing their kidneys in the middle of the street.  You then escape to the rooftops, performing acrobatic leaps that would put an Olympic athlete to shame.  Bringing such an experience to the DS is a tall order, but the folks at GameLoft worked within the limitations of the DS hardware and have, for the most part, succeeded. While there are definitely flaws here and there, Assassin’s Creed: Altair’s Chronicles is a fun platforming romp that is more Prince of Persia than Assassin’s Creed.    


    Chronicles is supposedly a prequel to the console game, although it plays out more like a sidestory. You know how Majora’s Mask doesn’t really feel like a sequel to Ocarina of Time, even though it technically is?  There’s a similar feeling here, but that isn’t a negative. White-clothed assassin Altair is out to find the Chalice, an item of great power that could unite the warring factions of the Middle East. En route, Altair faces love and betrayal, old friends and new enemies and…aw, I’m just kidding!  The entire game is Altair looking for the Chalice.  And even though it’s a prequel, it doesn’t have the lead-in to the console game that one would expect. Despite the fact that the story is wafer-thin, the path to the Chalice is an engaging one.    


    The gameplay is Prince of Persia, quite frankly; Chronicles is a straight left-to-right side scroller.  However, there are some interesting stealth missions late in the game, requiring you to perform unique tasks such as sabotaging enemy encampments while dressed as one of their own.  The collection aspect of the console game is boiled down to finding blue orbs which can be used to increase your health or upgrade your sword’s strength.    


    Most of Altair’s moveset revolves around leaping from rooftop to rooftop, wall-jumping, and balancing on beams. The movement system is handled very fluidly, as you’re really just pressing B and R to move across the cityscapes. The A button interacts with objects, such as breaking pots or moving crates (yes, there are crate puzzles). There are a few instances in which rolling (L Button) is required.  Movement between ladders and other objects can be problematic, as Altair can’t seem to jump away from a ladder towards a platform.  He’ll look there, but he won’t jump there.    


    Where the game’s controls truly fall flat, however, is during combat.  Part of the problem is that you just can’t avoid the guards. In the console game, if you walk and don’t cause trouble, guards won’t attack you—you’re just another citizen. In the DS version, guards come flying out of nowhere with your death at the top of their to-do list. The combat itself is shallow (press Y or X! Button mash, kids!), hit detection is questionable, and the counterattacks (which sound cool in theory) don’t work on high-level enemies (they simply counter your counterattack).  Enemies routinely break your blocks, too, leading to more frantic button-mashing.    


    Altair eventually acquires new weapons, but few are really effective (bombs are great, but you only get five).  There are a few enemy encounters that require you to use specific button inputs to damage your opponent (similar to God of War), and while these are fun they are few and far between. Otherwise, your opponents will throw cheap unblockable moves your way, archers will skewer you from afar, and you’ll curse your puny sword.  You will come to dislike the combat, but there’s usually no way to avoid it.    


    Thankfully, the smooth platforming makes up for it.  Checkpoints are generally well-spaced out and you’ll know what to do next time should you die.  There isn’t much in the way of exploration, but an omnipresent green arrow tells you where to go.  This is helpful because the game’s look and fixed camera often results in your next destination being just off-screen. The platforming isn’t perfect; Altair tends to slip forward a bit when he jumps, which in later levels may cause your untimely demise. Furthermore, getting Altair in position for an interaction (like pulling a lever) is tedious because he’s got to be for the A icon to appear.  But overall, this is quality platforming action.    


    The DS’ touch screen comes into play during two minigames. The first is a pickpocket game in which you drag a key out from the back of somebody’s money bag while avoiding the other things in the bag. The other game is a pseudo-rhythm game that has you tapping certain dots on your enemy’s body to “torture” them into giving up information. Both of these games are simplistic but fun, and serve to mix the gameplay up a bit. Otherwise, the lower screen displays a mini-map and your weapon inventory, and tapping a weapon icon will equip it.    


    The game looks fantastic, with everything rendered in full 3D.  Character models are basic but well-animated, and parts of the environments even feature special effects.  One memorable scene involves throwing torches into tar pits, and watching the tar (and the guards standing in it) light aflame. The draw distance is very impressive, especially in later levels. Character animations occasionally skip around in corners, but while noticeable, it’s a minor flaw.  Chronicles’ gorgeous graphics come with the caveat of unusually long load times for a DS game, often forcing you to sit through loading that rivals that of its console counterpart; fortunately, all loading taking place between levels so gameplay is never interrupted.    


    There are only two or three musical scores which repeat endlessly during each level, meaning that the sound gets tiring after a while. You will learn to hate the “alert” music, which eventually caused me to turn the volume down.    


    Overall, Altair’s Chronicles is a fun platformer that ends up feeling more like Prince of Persia DS than Assassin’s Creed. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, as the DS could use more action games like this. Sadly, the adventure lasts about a weekend, and there are no real unlockables after beating the game aside from an extra difficulty mode.  Still, Assassin’s Creed: Altair’s Chronicles is a very fun game if you can get past the muddled combat.

    Pros:
           

  • Very fun platforming
  •  
  • Silky smooth control scheme
  •  
  • Great 3D landscapes and characters


  •        Cons:
           
  • Combat is shallow and frustrating
  •  
  • Not enough opportunities to use your alternate weapons
  •  
  • Some hit detection oddities


  •                Graphics:  8.0
           It doesn’t get a whole lot better than this on the DS, but some of the animations are choppy. During heavy platforming sections, especially those with moving platforms, depth perception is your worst foe.

                   Sound:  6.0
           I like the ambient noise a lot, but there are too few musical scores, and the “alert” music will drive you to drink.

                   Control:  7.0
           The platforming is great, with plenty of fairly complex maneuvers executed easily with very few buttons. Combat should be more engaging, what with all the combos you learn and weapons you pick up, but it’s not.  Enemy tactics are cheap and ruthless and really drag down the combat aspect.

                          Gameplay:  7.0
           The Prince of Persia-esque platforming areas are a lot of fun, but there should have been more of them.  The combat-heavy portions will leave you wondering whether or not you want to keep playing. The touchscreen minigames are a fun diversion.

     


           Lastability:  4.0
           There are no meaningful unlockables.  It would have been nice to start from the beginning with all your combos and weapons from the previous playthrough and go for time, but no such luck.  While a lack of multiplayer is understandable, it only serves to further limit the game’s lifespan.

     


           Final:  7.0
           Altair’s Chronicles is a good game that could use some touching-up in the combat department and a better reward system. It’s not very long, and once you beat it you’re done forever. It’s certainly worth a look if you like Prince of Persia-style action/platformers, but be ready for some frustrating combat segments.      


    4008
    TalkBack / PREVIEWS: Naruto: Ninja Destiny
    « on: February 20, 2008, 06:51:21 AM »
    Naruto's destiny leads him to the Nintendo DS.
     http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/previewArt.cfm?artid=15374

     Naruto has appeared in video game form for several years, but even if you, like me, have never seen Naruto before, Ninja’s Destiny could be a game to keep your eye on. The characters are fully 3D, crisp, with sharp character models and particle effects. It will feature a single-player story mode, a versus mode, and local wireless fights.    


    Like most fighting games, your goal is to punch, kick, and combo your opponent into submission, but Ninja Destiny adds the Touch Screen as an additional level of input. Touching various icons will activate a health increase, activate a power increase, keep your opponent from unleashing certain moves, etc. Each character has between 8 and 10 combo maneuvers which the player must discover and memorize to annihilate the competition as quickly as possible. Each character also has a specific super-move. Ninja Destiny will feature sixteen characters, nine of which are unlocked, including Naruto (duh), Sasuke, Gaara, Neji, Might Guy, Rock, Sakura, Shikamaru, Itachi, and Nine-Tailed Naruto. The game’s storyline (which does not catch up to the Japanese anime run) is told through static image based cut scenes between each battle.    


    The American version of Ninja Destiny is also improved over its Japanese counterpart, and includes a larger character roster, more arenas, and an improved frame rate.    


    Naruto: Ninja Destiny is set to release on Feb. 26th.


    4009
    TalkBack / Re: PREVIEWS: Assassin's Creed Altaïr's Chronicles
    « on: February 16, 2008, 07:03:30 AM »
    Kiddies, my review is floating in Copyedit, awaiting editing. It should be up by this weekend.

    4010
    TalkBack / PREVIEWS: Assassin's Creed Altaïr's Chronicles
    « on: February 15, 2008, 12:27:28 PM »
    Ubisoft and GameLoft make a killing on the Nintendo DS.
     http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/previewArt.cfm?artid=15317

     Those of you with PS3's and Xbox 360's may have already experienced  Assassin's Creed. Nintendo aficionados have not been forgotten entirely, however. GameLoft, the developer who helmed the DS version of Brothers in Arms, has taken the reins of this newest franchise for another handheld conversion. Altair's Chronicles is a Prince of Persia-style platformer which tells Altair's back story from before the events of the console game. Our white-cloaked hero is after the Chalice, a mysterious object that promises to unite the warring factions of the Fertile Crescent. In order to do that, though, Altair will battle countless Templar knights, scale impressive cityscapes, and disguise himself as the enemy to sneak through encampments.    


    In the graphics department, the game offers up fully 3D worlds and characters. Instead of the sandbox format of its console brethren, Altair's Chronicle is a far more linear platformer divided into separate levels. Story sequences are generally told in-game. Altair is able to pull off a huge variety of acrobatics as well as fairly complex battle maneuvers involving multiple weapon types. The touch screen is mostly used as a mini-map, although its unique qualities find its way into the gameplay via interesting pickpocket and interrogation minigames.    


    Assassin's Creed: Altair's Chronicle certainly looks the part and features many of the gameplay elements seen in its console counterpart. It's available now and NWR will have a review up shortly.


    4011
    TalkBack / REVIEWS: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Hard Evidence
    « on: February 05, 2008, 06:05:21 PM »
    Point, click, repeat.
     http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=15231

     I have never seen CSI.  I’ve watched CSI: Miami with middling interest, but I was fairly confident that the original series wouldn’t present much of a break from the formula. I figured my not being familiar with the cast and crew of CSI might hinder my experience with CSI: Hard Evidence, so I invited my friend Marcus over, because he's a fan of the show.  I figured he’d be able to offer valuable information such as whether or not the in-game character models look like their real-world counterparts, or whether or not the actors from the show lent their voices to the game.    


    Ultimately, those questions proved unimportant. The mindless tedium of CSI: Hard Evidence awoke in me a nameless terror, even as Marcus seemed vaguely interested. Yet every time I tried to hand him the Wii Remote, he declined, telling me that it was more fun to watch me writhe in pain than himself partake. Before long, Marcus’ brother Nelson came over.  After watching me point, click, and navigate menus for the next fifteen minutes, he remarked that he’s never felt such anger, such hostility, towards a game. I concurred, turned off the Wii, and heaved a sigh of heavy relief.    


    CSI: Hard Evidence is essentially a series of menus with the occasional point‘n’click environmental interface thrown in for good measure. You are thrust into the role of a rookie CSI officer, who oddly enough doesn’t have hands or arms. The only way your presence is even felt is through a disembodied and ever-changing icon which you move around the screen via the Wii Remote. When the icon turns green, click the A button to zoom in.  Press A again to go to a menu, then press A to select an item, then press A to use the item, then…do you see where this is going?    


    You travel to different locations by selecting them from a menu. While on location, you can “interact” with things that make the cursor turn green. You can run evidence through computers via more menus, resulting in tedious “one of these things is not like the other” comparison tests. Then you press B to zoom back out. When you’ve acquired enough evidence against somebody you can bring them in for questioning, but this is not a deep questioning system a la Grim Fandango, Jade Empire, or Mass Effect. You can only ask one question at a time, and the person will always answer; it’s as if the suspect’s speech is continually being paused, and you have to press play over and over again.  This is, in essence, just another form of menu navigation. After solving the case you are given a grade based on how much hand-holding you required (and unless you’re a retarded rhesus macaque, you won’t need any help).    


    According to Marcus, the character models are somewhat accurate, but they are low-grade PS2 quality. As evidenced by titles like God of War 2 and Tomb Raider: Anniversary, facial animation can look pretty good when a developer puts some effort into it.  CSI: Hard Evidence gives us blocky faces and forced, exaggerated animations.  On the other hand, the environments look much better.  Characters are also voiced by their real-life counterparts, lending some credibility to the game.    There are five cases to solve, but it’s doubtful that most players will make it that far.  Marcus didn’t think that the game tied into the show’s storyline in any meaningful way. I’d rather watch CSI: Miami and laugh at David Caruso’s overacting then be forced through more of this shovelware. If you want a good point‘n’click adventure, play Myst or Shivers.

    Pros:
           

  • Actors from the show lend their voices to the game
  •  
  • They lend their likeness too, although the resemblance is occasionally questionable
  •  
  • Control schemes don't get much easier


  •        Cons:
           
  • Mind-numbingly boring
  •  
  • I hope you like menus!
  •  
  • I hope you like pointing and clicking!


  •                Graphics:  6.0
           Environments look good, but the character models are mostly primitive.  When Nelson walked through the door, he said, “Is that supposed to be Stokes?”  He summed it up well.

                   Sound:  4.0
           Eerie silence, save for voices from the show.  The script is awful and never funny. Even the light-hearted training mission fails to be tongue-in-cheek during the interrogation.

                   Control: 10.0
           Point! Click! All with the revolutionary new Wii Remote! It’s like a cordless mouse!

                          Gameplay:  3.0
           Did I mention that the entire game consists of pointing, clicking, and menu navigation?

     


           Lastability:  2.0
           You will hate this game after fifteen minutes. Do not play it.

     


           Final:  2.5
           I give credit to the environments and the real actors’ voices, but other than that, this game is a wasted endeavor. Even if you’re a hardcore CSI fan, you’d get more enjoyment out of watching the same episode on TV over and over again.      


    4012
    TalkBack / REVIEWS: Nitrobike
    « on: February 04, 2008, 07:08:33 PM »
    It's EXTREME-ly...boring.
     http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=15221

     I was kind of psyched when Ubisoft’s Nitrobike arrived in my mailbox. I still like the original NES Excitebike, and Excitebike 64 left me with fond memories. I was more excited to learn that Left Field Studios, the guys who made the latter, had developed Nitrobike. It was with weighty anticipation that I popped the disk into my Wii, grabbed a bag of popcorn, and let the fun begin. Oh, but life, that cruel mistress, rewarded my heady enthusiasm with callus indifference, forcing me to endure a game so basic, generic, and limited that I felt like I was being punished. Nitrobike is not Excitebike.    


    The game is bland in ways which you will not fully appreciate without playing it firsthand. The post-apocalyptic setting is nothing new, the characters look beyond horrible (is that a woman or Marilyn Manson?), and the bikes are all exactly the same, except for different paint jobs and stats. The environments include junkyards, post-apocalyptic junkyards, forests, and snowy courses. Aside from the snow course, all of the racetracks are dark and impersonal. Trash litters the sides of the raceways, begging you to run into it. The courses themselves feature a good amount of twists and turns, but shortcuts are markedly limited or absent given that you’re strongly encouraged to stay on the designated path.    


    At least the controls aren’t awful. Much like the far superior ExciteTruck, players hold the Wii Remote NES-style. You turn your bike like you’d turn a steering wheel, and you can tip the Remote back to raise your bike’s front tire during jumps. 2 is gas, 1 is brake, and pressing the D-pad activates the boost. Turning feels overly sensitive, making it very easy to over-correct. If you boost for too long, you explode. After hitting a good-sized jump (there aren’t many), you can press a simple sequence of D-pad directions to activate an incredibly dull trick. If you successfully perform four tricks without crashing, your boost meter will max out. This would be more useful if racetracks featured more straightaways. As it stands, you boost into a corner, brake, find your line, then boost out of it…then you hit another corner. While boosting is definitely integral to winning races, the course design doesn’t exactly encourage it.    


    Multiplayer is present in the form of local split-screen and Wi-Fi. This was my first Wi-Fi game, and I was disappointed to find that nobody on the planet wanted to play with me. I blame the apparatus, though. There are only two ways of getting into a game: Friend Codes (yippee) or game hosting. To host a game, you must select the type of game and a distinct number of opponents. If the stars align, you will connect with somebody else who is looking for the same variables and is not already involved in a game. You cannot join a game already in progress. and there is no centralized lobby. I found one other player to race with in the fifteen minutes I tried to connect with people. The entire race lasted three minutes. Offline, multiplayer is fun because you and a friend are both boosting into corners and being forced to break. You can choose a number of bots to race with, too, which is kind of cool. Of course, there are MUCH better multiplayer offerings out there (like ExciteTruck), so my buddies and I quickly found something better to play.    


    Single-player is split into Career and Exhibition. Exhibition is basically Quick Play, in that you choose a course and the number of bots to race against (if any). I suppose Exhibition is good for learning the twists and turns of a particular course, but Career mode is where the meat is. This solo campaign pigeonholes you into completing various challenges (like time trials, races, and variations on those two themes) which you must complete in order. The very first race will have you cursing like a sailor. A loading screen that says you must earn gold medals in all of the challenges in order to unlock everyting is so disheartening!    


    Comparing Nitrobike to ExciteTruck is unavoidable, what with the exact same control scheme and the name's obvious derivation from Excitebike. ExciteTruck is the better game by far: it features some awesome course design, encourages shortcut-finding, has several-hundred-foot jumps, an old-school arcade feel, and above all, personality. Nitrobike has none of these things. If you veer off the beaten path for even a second, a message appears: "Get back on the track!" If you don’t immediately obey, the computer will reposition you itself. Exploration isn’t tolerated. What's more, course designs are limiting and don’t really take advantage of the "Nitro" in Nitrobike. But worst of all, the game’s generic characters and setting rob it of any personality. Nitrobike is not extreme—it’s just boring.    


    Avoid it, dear readers. Go buy ExciteTruck instead.

    Pros:
           

  • Tilt-motion control is kind of cool
  •  
  • Supports Nintendo Wi-Fi
  •  
  • Some interesting Career challenges


  •        Cons:
           
  • Tilt-motion control is a bit too sensitive
  •  
  • Wi-Fi support is meager and flawed
  •  
  • What do we not want to be? G-E-N-E-R-I-C!!!


  •                Graphics:  5.0
           The explosions look good, but the environments are cluttered and poorly textured. Everything is dark, the character models look awful, and the bikes are all the same. This game looks worse than most Wii launch games.

                   Sound:  4.0
           Your bike sounds like a bike, and the nitro boost sounds like a nitro boost! I guess that counts for something. However, the music is a painful sort of death metal. A voiceover announcer would have livened up the bland atmosphere.

                   Control:  7.0
           Did you play ExciteTruck? It’s the same, only with more finicky tilt controls.

                          Gameplay:  6.0
           The physics engine seems a little off, and there aren’t enough huge jumps or straight-aways to take advantage of nitro boosts. On the other hand, some of the Career challenges are interesting, and there’s a bowling mini-game. Neither are anything to write home about, but they're, you know, there. It's fun to play with your buddies until you realize that you could be playing something better.

     


           Lastability:  4.0
           The finicky controls, steep learning curve, and unforgiving career opposition will keep you motivated to find your copy of ExciteTruck as quickly as possible.

     


           Final:  5.0
           There are much, much better games out there. If you still have an N64, try Excitebike 64. If not, go play ExciteTruck. If you have an NES, e-Reader, or access to the Virtual Console, play Excitebike. The bottom line is that I found an ancient NES game more fun than Nitrobike. You should not spend money on it.      


    4013
    TalkBack / RE:REVIEWS: Dementium: The Ward
    « on: January 18, 2008, 06:49:14 AM »
    Jake, many NES games actually HAD save systems, so that's not even an apt complaint. Aside from that, the larger point is that having no save points or checkpoints in a modern shooter is pretty bizarre.  

    4014
    TalkBack / REVIEWS: Dementium: The Ward
    « on: January 17, 2008, 01:06:34 PM »
    I need an old priest and a young priest!
     http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=15139

     Dementium is kind of a landmark for publisher Gamecock—it's the new company's first game. It is also developer Renegade Kid's first solo effort, so a lot is riding on Dementium: The Ward. This first-person shooter takes its cues from Doom 3 and Silent Hill, but fails to live up to the lofty scares of the former and psychological terror of the latter. This is not to say that Dementium is not a good game on its own, because it is, but if Renegade Kid ever delivers a sequel, there are definitely some areas they need to improve.    


    Dementium thrusts you into blood-splattered hallways right off the bat. There is no back-story. In fact, the plot is weak overall, but that's not why you're playing the game. Dementium is all about sneaking around in the dark, finding keys of various kinds, and killing monsters. Plot progression comes about via notes, memos (a survival-horror staple), and flashback-type cut-scenes.    


    The control scheme is lifted directly from Metroid Prime: Hunters, although you have fewer options. The touch screen is where you can access the map, your inventory, your various weapons, and the notepad. You can scrawl notes for yourself on the notepad with the stylus, and this features comes in very handy while you're trying to solve a puzzle. I wish I could've done that on the PSP when I was playing Silent Hill: Origins. Unfortunately, you cannot scribble on the map, which is disappointing because the map only shows convoluted and far-too-complex hallways and which doors are locked or unlocked. If furniture is blocking a path or you need a key to enter a particular door, the map does not display that. Thus, some aimless wandering is inevitable. Aiming seems a little too loose, and melee attacks don't result in any pushback, so the combat could use some polish. Luckily, larger enemies (including bosses) tend to have weak points that are easy to exploit. Health and ammo litter the halls and closets of the sanitarium you wander through. The game's only real stumbling block is that if you die, you have to start from the beginning of that level. The lack of auto-saving, save points, or automatic checkpoints, which are a staple of just about any modern game I can think of (especially shooters), is baffling and leads to bouts of frustration.    


    Let's talk about the aesthetic, always an important feature of a horror game. Happily, Dementium does manage to convey a sense of foreboding through its skillful use of darkness and ambient sound. The electricity is out, so you can only see a few feet in front of you. As the darkness recedes, and you strain to make out what's right in front of you, and some weird baby sounds are coming from around the corner, there's some apprehension. The really cool thing is that you have a flashlight that works exactly like it does in Doom 3. It illuminates the area you point at, making wandering a bit more enjoyable. It's also impressive as a graphical feat, and I can't tell whether there's an actual lighting engine at work here, but it sure looks nice. While Dementium doesn't rise to the paranoia high that the Silent Hill series evokes, it works for the hardware it's on. I wish that the landscape changed more often, but because you're just wandering through one giant hospital, things tend to bleed together quickly. How many closets and nurses stations can one medical facility have? I do like the bloodstains, scattered furniture, and general look of disrepair, however. And to be fair, there are occasional changes in scenery, but about 90% of your visit to The Ward will be in what amounts to a series of interconnected hallways.    


    Enemy design is fairly standard for this genre, although the boss creatures are fairly imaginative. Character models are sharp and animate well, as their movements are smooth and not sporadic. I wish there had been some more man-sized normal enemies, and to tell you the truth, there are only three proper boss monsters in the game, two of which repeat (flashback to Metroid Prime: Hunters). The sound is more effective than the graphics in perpetuating the fear vibe. All of the creatures have distinct voices, and the little touches like your character's heartbeat and rain on the windows go surprisingly far in establishing the mood. There is a musical score, but it blends into the background very quickly.    


    At the end of the day, your enjoyment of Dementium will depend heavily on whether you like survival horror games with a first-person shooter element. The game certainly has some flaws (like the loose aiming and overly complex map), and I find it hard to forgive the "die and start over again" philosophy, but Dementium is definitely something different, and it's something I think people will generally enjoy.

    Pros:
           

  • The best survival-horror-shooter on the DS
  •  
  • Conveys the horror vibe very well
  •  
  • Essentially a mouse-and-keyboard control scheme
  •  
  • Awesome flashlight effects

           Cons:
           
  • No mid-level saves or checkpoints
  •  
  • Too few enemy types and repeated boss monsters
  •  
  • Can't make notes on the map


  •                Graphics:  8.0
           Clean, smooth, and no slowdown in sight. The colors are a little muted and the hospital setting gets a little old, but it's good-looking for what it is.

                   Sound:  8.0
           Rain on the windows, ambient noises, and creature sounds will have you on your toes more than you'd think. Boss battle music is kind of silly, and I wish there was some voicework, but the sound certainly gets the job done well.

                   Control:  7.0
           The aiming is too loose, and running isn't much better than walking. And in a game like this, there really needs to be a button combo to make your character spin 180 degrees. They used it in REmake and RE4, and I wish it were in this game. Still, the Hunters control scheme is essentially flawless for the DS, giving gamers a PC setup on a handheld.

                          Gameplay:  7.0
           There is too much aimless wandering and key-hunting. Respawning enemies mar the overall experience, too. Despite the genre clichés, however, Dementium is fun and manages to feel different. The notepad is a great idea, too, and it makes what would be tedious puzzles feel more natural.

     


           Lastability:  6.0
           No unlockables and no Wi-Fi play or even local multiplayer  shorten the lifespan of what's otherwise an engaging game. There's no reason to go back once you've beaten it though, unless you just want to relive the experience.

     


           Final:  7.0
           Dementium: The Ward is a strong first-person shooter experience with a great horror theme. True, some bizarre design decisions will frustrate, but overall it's a fine game. Can Renegade Kid improve on the sequel? Sure. Should this stop you from at least trying Dementium out? No freakin' way.      


    4015
    TalkBack / RE:Virtual Console Mondays: January 7th, 2008
    « on: January 08, 2008, 10:11:43 AM »
    Looking back through screenshots of KoF '94, Mai's pixilated puppies don't sway with the same smoothness that I remember. *sigh* Nostalgia is my blatant foe!

    *puts the new KoF game in my PS2*

    *selects Mai*

    *oggles*

    4016
    TalkBack / RE:This Week's VC Games
    « on: January 07, 2008, 08:15:45 AM »
    *sigh*

    Spent my last Wii points on Kirby's Dream Course. If I had an extra $10, I'd get KoF, if only for Mai Shiranui's bouncing breastesses.

    4017
    TalkBack / RE:Virtual Console Mondays: Year-End Round-Up!
    « on: January 04, 2008, 07:05:43 AM »
    Bubble Bobble will be downloaded TODAY.

    DKC3 was downloaded last week, and I've been playing through it ever since. It's definately not as refined as DKC2 was, and the level "themes" are much more limited. There are way too many auto-scrolling stages, too. I still have my SNES players guide, so I'll be gettin' 103%!

    4018
    TalkBack / RE:New VC Games for NYE
    « on: January 01, 2008, 05:16:23 AM »
    Again, I volunteer my services to recommend Bubble Bobble. What's with the VC games again, guys? I tell ya, I leave for two weeks and the whole system goes to hell! :-)

    If I'm able to recommend the game, send me an alternate email address via PM.

    4019
    TalkBack / RE:New Virtual Console Games
    « on: December 24, 2007, 02:37:30 PM »
    To my fellow editors:

    While in Sunny Kansas, I am still able to download games. I downloaded DKC3 today, in fact, to complete the trilogy (if nothing else). I can recommend it if you like, but I just need a different email address for somebody so I can send it in!

    If somebody's already called it, great. Never mind. I'll continue basking in the sun. But I wouldn't mind!

    ~Zach

    4020
    TalkBack / RE:REVIEWS: Godzilla: Unleashed
    « on: December 17, 2007, 03:22:18 PM »
    No, not that one. I already have it. I mean Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monsters, which is the prequel to Astro-Monster but for whatever reason has not been released yet. That reminds me, Megalon has also not yet come out on DVD. That's probably a good thing, though.

    Sorry--the American titles of the Japanese movies always throw me off.

    4021
    TalkBack / RE:REVIEWS: Godzilla: Unleashed
    « on: December 17, 2007, 12:34:01 PM »
    Whereas I have every Godzilla movie on DVD, minus Godzilla 1985, Godzilla vs. Monster Zero, and Godzilla vs. Biolantte, because they haven't been released on DVD yet. I do have them all VHS, though (although my VCR broke).

    4022
    TalkBack / RE:REVIEWS: Godzilla: Unleashed
    « on: December 17, 2007, 10:52:02 AM »
    Here's what happens, in my game, when Godzilla LEAPS into the water:

    No splash effect. You can tell that the water is just a suspended texture. Why? Because the camera dipped below the water surface and, in fact, everything is the same color underwater as it is above. Also, when Godzilla hits the water, a bunch of pixels erupt as a sort of "fog" animation, but there are no water EFFECTS. This isn't Wind Waker. Also, when Godzilla is moving through the water, the only noticable effect is that pixels fly out behind him.

    And when I say pixels, people, I mean it. They are WHITE, and they are UGLY.

    4023
    TalkBack / RE:REVIEWS: Godzilla: Unleashed
    « on: December 16, 2007, 07:33:33 PM »
    I'm starting to think I got a different game from you guys. In the game I recieved (through the mail, with shrink-wrap), there is NO water splash, the graphics are AWFUL, the controls are unresponsive, and my opponent thoroughly kicked my tail in TRAINING MODE.

    Seriously.

    MOGUERA never made a noise in Spacegodzilla? I'm gonna have to watch that movie again...

    Thanks for the comments, everyone. If nothing else, they've left me extremely confused about what game I was playing...I'd really like to play the version that GP and Arbok are playing, because it sounds fun!

    4024
    TalkBack / REVIEWS: Godzilla: Unleashed
    « on: December 14, 2007, 12:43:31 PM »
    And you thought Godzilla's Revenge was bad.
     http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=14990

     When I previewed Godzilla: Unleashed a few months ago, I was genuinely excited. Back when it was originally released, Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters Melee (DAMM) rocked my GameCube. It was a simplistic brawler, sure, but Pipeworks really did justice to Toho's rubber suit franchise, and the game channeled that old Neo Geo classic, King of the Monsters. Then Godzilla: Save the Earth came out for the PS2, and while it was basically the same game with a bigger character roster, it added bland “missions" to the fights. For awhile there, it looked like Unleashed, a former Wii exclusive (now also on the PS2), would combine the fighting with some purposeful environmental destruction. But most importantly, players would punch and kick their way to victory using motion controls. I just played the game for several hours, and although it hurts me to say this, Godzilla: Unleashed sucks!    


    I almost suspect that Atari sent me a beta copy, because I just can't believe that the final game is this unpolished.  Unfortunately, it's not a beta copy.  Right off the bat, you'll notice that the graphics are far worse than DAMM. I'm not sure how this is possible, but the clean, sharp models of that GC original are now fuzzy, poorly textured, and don't animate smoothly. The environments look worlds worse than the monsters, though. I don't know about you, but I thought that the word “blocky" went out with the N64. Buildings don't crumble—they sink into the ground. The water effects look great—until you set foot in the water. Godzilla weighs between 20 and 60,000 tons (depending on which series you're watching), but he doesn't splash. You heard that right—there are some pixilated water drops, but no splash. Some of the monster energy weapons look pretty swanky, but the manner in which they're activated is so horrifying (I'll get to that in a minute) that you'll never use them. The game's cutscenes are told through poorly-drawn slides. This wouldn't bug me on the DS, but it's unacceptable on the Wii.    


    I don't think the motion controls could've been any worse. In DAMM, the various punches and kicks were activated by pressing A or B and a direction on the stick, as in Smash Bros. Not here. In Unleashed, you start swinging the Remote in a certain direction, then press and hold A (or B) halfway through and pray that the game registers your movement. More often than not, your beastie will just stand there. Sometimes, he'll do a regular punch instead of a motion-activated punch. Once in a very great while, Godzilla will do the uppercut you asked him to do. And it doesn't stop there. You're forced to deal with motion controls for throwing, jumping, flying, charging, and special attacks. And because the sensitivity is so awful, your monster will get his ass handed to him while you're busy swinging your arms like a freaking orangutan.    


    The HUD is confusing. You must manually charge your beam weapon, and then weep as you notice that stuff other than beam attacks requires beam energy. And when you try to use the beam weapon itself, half the time it won't work. The other half, it will work, but you have to twist and angle the Wii Remote to aim it, rather than use the Control Stick. There are big crystals around each cityscape, and they have different effects on the gameplay. Destroying bright blue crystals gives you some HP, while yellow ones give you beam energy.  Destroying enough giant crystals will put you into "Critical Mass," in which your defense goes down, but your offense goes up! Critical Mass also "costs" one HP tank, and the military will begin attacking you. What fun! Finally, depending on your actions during a given level, you will gain or lose face with the different monster "factions", which doesn't have any consequence whatsoever as far as I can tell.    


    I've failed to mention the awful heavy metal music that pollutes the menu screens and monsters battles. I've never understood why, even though the series has Toho's blessing, the main Godzilla theme is never used in any of the recent Godzilla brawlers. All of the monsters have their trademark roars intact, but their SKREEEONKS and CHEE-CHEE-CHEES seem really quiet compared to the thumps of battle and ambient music. I gotta say, though, it was a kick to hear MOGUERA for the first time since Godzilla vs. Spacegodzilla.    


    The game has two selling points. Although poorly rendered, virtually all of the Godzilla series monsters are here, and their trademark roars have been kept intact. And when I say all of them, I mean it. Biollante and Varan are in this game! Unfortunately, they must all be purchased with points that you earn by completing missions in the Story mode, which is a painful experience. This is also how you unlock concept art and movies. Ideally, a player would go through the Story mode with each monster, but since fights just aren't winnable thanks to the hideous motion controls, you might never beat Story mode the first time!    


    Ultimately, Godzilla: Unleashed is just awful. Even the biggest Godzilla fans among us should not have to suffer through this piece of trash. Watch the movies or just play DAMM. You'll have a much better time.

    Pros:
           

  • Virtually all of the Godzilla monsters are included!


  •        Cons:
           
  • Graphics are terrible, especially the environments
  •  
  • Motion controls are unforgivably bad
  •  
  • Opponents are cheap, preying on your inability to attack


  •                Graphics:  4.0
           The monsters are well-represented, but they sure don't look good. The textures are fuzzy, the environments are unfinished, and your giant monster doesn't even make a splash when he hits the water.

                   Sound:  4.0
           The only saving grace is that the monster sounds, while quieter than they should be, are faithfully reproduced by the game. The music is appallingly bad.

                   Control:  3.0
           Let me use my GameCube controller, please!

                          Gameplay:  5.0
           The crystals add a hint of strategy to each match (throw your opponent into crystals to force them into Critical Mass, thus infuriating the military), but the missions are tedious, and the fighting engine hasn't evolved at all since DAMM. The new moves, like charging and super attacks, are poorly implemented and barely useful.

     


           Lastability:  3.0
           There is so much stuff to unlock! New monsters! Artwork! Videos! It's a shame that you have to play the game to unlock it all.

     


           Final:  4.0
           I'm incredibly disappointed because Godzilla: Unleashed had so much promise! I'm not sure whether it was rushed out the door or just phoned in, but overall this is a terrible game. You would have much more fun with the other two Godzilla brawlers (DAMM is the better than Save the Earth), and there is simply no reason to suffer through Unleashed.      


    4025
    TalkBack / REVIEWS: Star Trek: Conquest
    « on: December 11, 2007, 01:17:50 PM »
    Once more unto the breach, dear Jem'Hadar!
     http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=14972

     Star Trek: Conquest is difficult to describe without actually playing it, but I’ll do my best. First of all, it is not a port of Star Trek: Legacy, which I first thought it was. Second, it’s not so much a video game as a board game. Neither of these facts should keep you from playing the game, though, as it’s quite good. At its core, Conquest is a bare-bones turn-based strategy game with a Star Trek license slapped on. You spend the game building fleets, resource structures, and special weapons while defending your territory and overtaking enemy systems on a large map.    


    At the game’s outset, you choose which of six Star Trek factions you want to be, and how many factions you want as your enemies. Conquest then generates a board, throws you some money to start, and says "sink or swim!" Unfortunately, there is no tutorial, which I found vexing. Now, I did eventually find that the game is incredibly simple, but it took me a few tries to really get into it. A tutorial would help new players get accustomed to the turn-based game flow. Each faction has its own strengths and weaknesses, but the gameplay for each is exactly the same. During your turn, you may choose to build structures or ships, recruit new admirals, or build a special weapon. There are only three types of structures: star bases, mining colonies, and research facilities. If your system does not have a star base, you cannot build ships or repair your existing fleet, and every system can have a star base. But you must choose between a mining colony and a research facility for each system (try to balance them out). The more mining colonies you have, the more money you earn per turn, thus allowing you to recruit more admirals, build more ships, and upgrade your star bases. The more research facilities you have, the better your access to special weapons and fleet upgrades (like better defenses or lowered costs).    


    In addition, your admirals (there are only three per faction) and thus, their fleets, all have a different attribute bonus. Among the Federation, for instance, there is a defense admiral, attack admiral, and movement admiral. If you build three fleets, you will have a very well-balanced team. Each admiral gets control of seven ships, and each ship serving under a certain admiral will get that attribute bonus. Don’t worry—the instruction booklet and I make this game sound more complex than it really is.    


    At any rate, the whole point of Star Trek: Conquest is to expand your faction’s rule to extend to every corner of the map. You can only see as far as your sensors allow, so most of the board is invisible until you start overtaking star systems. To do so, you merely order one of your fleets to attack a system (the more stars a system has, the tougher it is to overtake). Early in the game, you will be fighting with "neutral" races like the Ferengi and the Borg. The challenge really begins when you start entering systems controlled by your enemies, at which point you must contend with not only enemy fleets but also their heavily-fortified structures.    


    Battles are controlled either by the computer or by your hand. When entering a battle, you can choose either "Sim" or Arcade mode. Like its name suggests, Sim mode is carried out by the computer, and although you can choose an offensive, defensive, or neutral strategy for your team, the battle is not really in your hands. Sim mode is useful for battles that you know you can win, thus saving you time. Arcade mode, though, is very fun. You actually take control of your fleet (one ship at a time, toggled with the + Button), flying through space and firing all manner of photon torpedoes and phasers at attacking ships and enemy structures. Control is very simple—hold Z to move faster, and press A or B to fire your primary and secondary weapons. What impresses me most with the Arcade battles is, oddly enough, the shield system. Just like in the Star Trek universe, ships have varying degrees of shield strength before you can start pummeling their hulls. The largest ships and structures have three tiers of shields, but they are very slow and open to attack. The smaller ships have only one shield tier, but are quick and agile. Whether in Sim or Arcade fights, you can always choose to retreat, thus saving an admiral.    


    Admirals gain experience with each enemy structure (or ship) defeated, and their attribute bonuses rise accordingly. In addition, after about nine or ten turns of planting research facilities, you’ll be getting access to upgrades and special weapons virtually every turn. Happily, special weapons are free and can be built whenever your research points allow. There are all sorts of special weapons, and they all have different effects on the map. One allows warping between any two spaces on the board, one decimates an enemy system, one disallows attribute bonuses in a specific system, etc. A single game takes a pretty long time, because the map layout is enormous, but it’s never boring.    


    I have very few criticisms of the title. First and foremost, though, the Star Trek license isn’t really taken advantage of. Sure, the ship designs all conform to their respective factions, but there are no species-specific names. Instead of calling a small Federation ship a "runabout," it’s called a "scout," just like the small Cardassian, Klingon, and Jem’Hadar ships. Also, of the six factions you can play as, only a few are actually worthwhile. The Jem’Hadar are overpowered, the Romulans are underpowered, and the Federation is most obviously balanced. Also, one of the playable races is the Breen. Seriously? The Breen? I’m a Star Trek nut, and I didn’t even remember who the Breen are. (They’re the guys who look like Princess Leia’s mask at the beginning of Return of the Jedi.) Also, there’s some voiceover during the battle sequences, but each species only have five or six distinct lines, which they repeat, ad nauseam, for the entire battle. And why is there a female voice for the Jem’Hadar? None of my Vorta admirals are female, and I don’t remember any female Dominion troopers on Deep Space Nine! Also, the Federation admirals are no-name captains who had one-shot, supporting parts in past episodes. There is no Sisko or Picard. Instead we get Admiral "Weren’t You in the Matrix?" and Admiral "I Think You Defected on Next Generation." The other species have better luck. General Martok is a Klingon admiral, and Vorta Weyoun commands a Jem’Hadar fleet. My only other real complaints are that there’s no tutorial, and multiplayer is entirely absent. I’m not really sure how two players could play on a single screen without giving away each-other’s positions, though.    


    It’s a good game overall, especially for people who like strategy games but aren’t very fond of the frantic pace that something like Starcraft brings to the table. Conquest also lacks the complexity of a tabletop trading card game or series-based board game, which is fine by me. And there are plenty of reasons to keep playing: by completing the campaign mode as each faction, you will unlock a neutral faction for the one-shot "Skirmish" mode (which is basically a fast-paced version of the main game). Star Trek: Conquest isn’t for everyone, but I found it to be very fun.

    Pros:
           

  • Simplistic strategy game that doesn't bog you down in micromanagement
  •  
  • Star Trek universe provides an interesting backdrop
  •  
  • Awesome unlockable races


  •        Cons:
           
  • May be too slow moving for some strategy fans
  •  
  • Star Trek license used in a half-assed sort of way
  •  
  • No multiplayer or tutorial options


  •                Graphics:  7.0
           Ship models are distinct but pretty basic on the map, and that map is anything but exciting. The arcade mode backgrounds, though, are quite detailed. In fact, there are times where they are too detailed when you include all the moving objects, at which point the slowdown can be pretty staggering. Still, the designs are true to the source material, and all the ships look pretty awesome in arcade mode.

                   Sound:  4.5
           There’s music, but you’ll barely notice it. The sounds of individual ships and weapons fire during battles is drowned out by your obnoxious screaming admirals.

                   Control:  8.0
           Very simple and intuitive. It’s a point-and-click interface, really. During arcade sequences, you aim your shots by pointing at your enemy, and learning to lead your shots can take some practice.

                          Gameplay:  8.0
           Turn-based strategy with some simplistic resource management? I love it!

     


           Lastability:  7.0
           A single game can last for hours, and the unlockables will have you beating the game as every race, if only to play as the Borg!

     


           Final:  8.0
           I wish more had been done with the license, but Conquest is a perfectly competent game, if a bit simplistic. The slower pace lends itself to a feeling of control on the part of the player, and the action really ramps up during arcade battles. And there’s no sweeter feeling than when you knock out those stupid Klingons with your Genesis device, then throw your most powerful fleet at the survivors.      


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