Topic: Mafia LXIV: Day 1

[NWR_insanolord]

Welcome to the start of a new season of Major League Soccer. All players should be careful, as the Mafia that runs the sport in this country is out to tighten its stranglehold.

The day ands at 11:59:59 p.m. Eastern time on Tuesday, November 17.


Players Still Alive


Pokepal148
Khushrenada
Ceric
Spak-Spang
Shaymin
Lucariofan
Stratos
lolmonade
nickmitch
stevey
RedBlue
Hypotheliciously
Mop it up
ShyGuy
Brandogg

[Khushrenada]

I came to play password and I found a mafia game was on! Well, since none of the other players seem to have finished warming up, guess I'll take advantage of the situation.

Khushrenada gets the ball, he runs across the field to the wide open net. He taps it in for an easy

GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

[Khushrenada]

The other team is upset and all the players are running to the referee crying about how they were still putting on their socks and it was very unfair of Khushrenada to score a goal like that even though the match had begun.

But Khushrenada don't care. He blows by them all with his incredible as he rushes the opposing teams net again. He kicks it and, once again, it is a GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

[Khushrenada]

The other team is livid now. They were all too busy writhing on the ground in pretend pain after Khushrenada rushed past them before to try and get a call from the referee but he wouldn't bite. They've gone off to the media on the sidelines to protest the fact that they have to play against Khushrenada who won't go easy on them.

Khushrenada just laughs and banks the soccer ball off of all of the opposing players heads and into their net. It's a beautiful GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

[Khushrenada]

The opposing coach has called out a time-out. He's brought his gutless team over and is telling them target Khushrenada instead of the ball. Play resumes and before the other team can make a move, Khushrenada unleashes his fury on the ball. It flies with magnificent force into the opposing coach's head and decapitates him. The ball has so much force that it still continues on its journey towards the net but it also brings the opposing coach's head with it. Both the ball and the head go in to the net. It's an incredibly rare DOOOOOUUUUUUUUBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEE GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

[ShyGuy]

Wait, soccer? I thought this was a News Radio themed game.

[Khushrenada]

The opposing team is in shock. They've decided to give up and call their agents and request a trade to Khushrenada's team. But Khushrenada doesn't need a team. He gives 1110% a game which covers all 11 players and then some! He refuses to play if any of these bums join him so none of the trades go through.

Then he dropkicks the ball so hard into the ground, it creates a black hole and sucks in all the opposing team's players along with their families and agents and the rest of the opposing team's management structure where they are crushed into oblivion by the force of this gravitational anomaly.

But what's this? Somehow, a wormhole has also been created just outside the opposing teams net and here comes the soccer ball! Ladies and gentlemen, can you believe it?! The ball is rolling into the net after its incredibly physic defying journey. But what's this? Another soccer ball is coming out of the wormhole? And another one?!?! OH. MY. GOD!!!!

It's an INTERSTELLER PRESTIGE GOAL PARADOX!!!!!

It is just goal after goal after goal. The scoreboard has blown up it can not keep track of the amount of goals Khushrenada has just scored. The ground under the opposing net has collapsed in a giant sinkhole from the weight of all the soccer balls falling into that space. Folks, you are watching a game for the ages.

[Shaymin]

Hey, hey, hey! This is soccer! No goals allowed!

[ShyGuy]

Bend it like Beckham!

[Khushrenada]

Looks like this game isn't over yet. We've just the police, national guard and army show up and storm the field. Khushrenada has been taking with a negotiator for some time now. We can only assume it is about representing Team USA at all future World Cups but details are scarce at the moment.

Wait a moment. Khushrenada is leaving the field. He's shaking his head in dismay and seems a bit embarrassed. Not sure what this... wait. Yes. I'm just getting word that... Oh my! Oh dear. Oh, wait a shame!

It turns out Khushrenada is at the wrong game. He's supposed to be at Funhouse Stadium playing against the Password Guessers. He thought today was the game against the NewsRadio Tributes at Mafia Forum Field. As such, the score has been reset back to 0-0. Well, folks, I'm afraid the excitement is over. We're now going to be stuck with a regular and incredible soul-crushingly boring game now. Here's hoping we can survive until the upcoming NewsRadio Tributes game and that this one doesn't drag onto extra minutes and penalty kicks.

[pokepal148]

I am a Cute and Fuzzy Kitten.

I am so cute and cuddly and luvable and I don't see why anyone would want to lay a finger on me... you wany proof? Here's a picture:



Now you see, I'm just wandering around minding my own business when all of a sudden this really loud obnoxious guy comes in with a soccer ball and kicks it right into my face, here, I have photographic proof:


That man was named Khushrenada, who then proceeded to kick the ball right past my face and then began screaming while doing some sort of scary dance.

I'm going to go ahead and vote khushrenada for now although I am inclined to believe that our little incident may have been an accident. A little catnip or a treat might help with that, *hint hint*

Now, I need a lap to sit on. Would someone be so nice and help A Cute and Fuzzy Kitten in need.

[Spak-Spang]

Vote: lolmonade

So what's up team.  I am over here.  pass me the ball.  I'm here in the open waters. 

Come on guys.  I got mad skillz, Yo! 

Come on pass the ball...please?

[BranDonk Kong]

Did I died?

[stevey]

Kick off vendetta
Vote Khushrenada

[Khushrenada]

I am a Cute and Fuzzy Kitten.

I am so cute and cuddly and luvable and I don't see why anyone would want to lay a finger on me... you wany proof? Here's a picture:



Now you see, I'm just wandering around minding my own business when all of a sudden this really loud obnoxious guy comes in with a soccer ball and kicks it right into my face, here, I have photographic proof:


That man was named Khushrenada, who then proceeded to kick the ball right past my face and then began screaming while doing some sort of scary dance.

I'm going to go ahead and vote khushrenada for now although I am inclined to believe that our little incident may have been an accident. A little catnip or a treat might help with that, *hint hint*

Now, I need a lap to sit on. Would someone be so nice and help A Cute and Fuzzy Kitten in need.

Hey referee. Can't you see me rolling in pain on the grass? This player bites and scratches. Yeah, I know I'm describing every soccer player. Well, this one is also a cat. Does that clear it up for you? Give him a red card. Boot him from the game for this unsportsmanlike behaviour. Oh, you won't, eh? Well, it's lucky for you that God has performed a miracle today and miraculously healed me from the injuries he did to me. Yeah, I'm alright now. No thanks to you. Clearly, God is unhappy with your call and has seen fit to keep me in the game and rectify this injustice. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other players I need to see.

Wait, soccer? I thought this was a News Radio themed game.

I think it would be great if everyone role played as NewsRadio themed characters and completely ignored Insanolord's soccer theme much like he ignored the Animal Crossing theme when he saw fit to promote another losing effort from the US during that game instead. Top o' the morning to you, Dave!

Did I died?

No. .........Would you like to?

[ShyGuy]

Wait, soccer? I thought this was a News Radio themed game.

I think it would be great if everyone role played as NewsRadio themed characters and completely ignored Insanolord's soccer theme much like he ignored the Animal Crossing theme when he saw fit to promote another losing effort from the US during that game instead. Top o' the morning to you, Dave!

Morning, Bill. That was something on the soccer field there.

[Khushrenada]

Morning, Bill. That was something on the soccer field there.

It's soccer. There's nothing great about it. What would you know?

[Stogi]

"The day ands at 11:59:59 p.m. Eastern time on Tuesday, November 17."

I'm confused. Tuesday is the 18th. Is there still time to vote?

[Khushrenada]

"The day ands at 11:59:59 p.m. Eastern time on Tuesday, November 17."

I'm confused. Tuesday is the 18th. Is there still time to vote?

Just do it and find out. Frankly, I'm still voting against players in Mafia 14 and I'm about to win that game. I don't worry about dates. I'm playing the long game.

[ShyGuy]

Morning, Bill. That was something on the soccer field there.

It's soccer. There's nothing great about it. What would you know?

I guess you want to play hardball, Bill. ...Or soccer ball. Regardless, this behavior will not stand.

[Ceric]

I feel my roleplaying abilities have been stifled by lack of knowledge on this show.

[Khushrenada]

Morning, Bill. That was something on the soccer field there.

It's soccer. There's nothing great about it. What would you know?

I guess you want to play hardball, Bill. ...Or soccer ball. Regardless, this behavior will not stand.

Well, you've eliminated all my options. All that's left is backstabbing.

[Khushrenada]

Well, now it's time for:



Wake up, Manhattan! Wake up, Brooklyn! Wake up... the other three boroughs! These diplomats, with names you need a calculator to pronounce, have got their hands in your pockets, and it's high time we cut them off at the wrist.

I get a ticket, I pay it. You get a ticket, you pay it. They get a ticket, they don't pay no ticket, and that's why these free-loading foreign diplomats should be dragged out of their cars and beaten like the renegade outlaws they are.

Death to the MLS high command. un-Vote lolmonade. Inactive players only hurt the townies. Best to get rid of them now. What has Nickmitch done? Vote Nickmitch

[Mop it up]

Vote Stratos

He knows what he did!

Or at least, I hope he knows, because I can't remember.

[lolmonade]

Well, now it's time for:



Wake up, Manhattan! Wake up, Brooklyn! Wake up... the other three boroughs! These diplomats, with names you need a calculator to pronounce, have got their hands in your pockets, and it's high time we cut them off at the wrist.

I get a ticket, I pay it. You get a ticket, you pay it. They get a ticket, they don't pay no ticket, and that's why these free-loading foreign diplomats should be dragged out of their cars and beaten like the renegade outlaws they are.

Death to the MLS high command. Vote lolmonade. Inactive players only hurt the townies. Best to get rid of them now.

LOL.  Inactive…vote Khushrenada for ruining day 1 with soccer garbage and accusing me of inactivity at 6:00 PM.

Edit: In my fervor to vote Khush, I thought this was a news radio game.  I stand by my statement, and vote. 

[pokepal148]

I am a Cute and Fuzzy Kitten.

I am so cute and cuddly and luvable and I don't see why anyone would want to lay a finger on me... you wany proof? Here's a picture:



Now you see, I'm just wandering around minding my own business when all of a sudden this really loud obnoxious guy comes in with a soccer ball and kicks it right into my face, here, I have photographic proof:


That man was named Khushrenada, who then proceeded to kick the ball right past my face and then began screaming while doing some sort of scary dance.

I'm going to go ahead and vote khushrenada for now although I am inclined to believe that our little incident may have been an accident. A little catnip or a treat might help with that, *hint hint*

Now, I need a lap to sit on. Would someone be so nice and help A Cute and Fuzzy Kitten in need.

Hey referee. Can't you see me rolling in pain on the grass? This player bites and scratches. Yeah, I know I'm describing every soccer player. Well, this one is also a cat. Does that clear it up for you? Give him a red card. Boot him from the game for this unsportsmanlike behaviour. Oh, you won't, eh? Well, it's lucky for you that God has performed a miracle today and miraculously healed me from the injuries he did to me. Yeah, I'm alright now. No thanks to you. Clearly, God is unhappy with your call and has seen fit to keep me in the game and rectify this injustice.

I regret to inform you that my claws were recently trimmed, I doubt they could cut through your sock and still do damage to your delicate skin but that doesn't matter because as recorded by the news media you mentioned I immediately scurried off and hid in the sidelines.

After all blood tends to clash with my cuteness and I am a cute and fuzzy kitten

[ShyGuy]

Enough of this horsing around, we should get back to the ball game. THE GOOFY BALL game.

[Khushrenada]

Well, I'm off to see Dumb and Dumber To. Not sure if I make it past the first day and I don't really care that much either. Everyone knows that if I die, the game becomes much less interesting so if that's what you want, so be it. You don't need to vote with me. You can vote for someone else to save me but that's on you to decide if you can live with the consequences on acting or not acting to help me. I leave you with this message:

[Wah]

Vote lolmonade
Let's play Auraball!

[Stratos]

Vote Stratos

He knows what he did!

Or at least, I hope he knows, because I can't remember.

What did I do this time? Or are you still holding a grudge from like five games ago?

[RedBlue]

vote lolmonade

[Stratos]

Tempted to get on this lolmonade bandwagon but I'm skeptical of it's legitimacy.

[Wah]

This is soccer, nothing's legit

[lolmonade]

Not quite sure what's creating this bandwagon vote against me.  Like usual, I question Khush's motives, but now that he's voting against someone else, I have to hold my vote against him because he's the next highest vote.

[Stratos]

Vote nickmitch because I don't buy this lolmonade bandwagon.

[Shaymin]

This game's so corrupt already we're moving it to Qatar and finishing it in 2022.

Vote Lucariofan on general principles.

[Stratos]

Vote Lucariofan for the sake of conformity... and because I feel back voting nickmitch since people always gang up on him as "guilty" when he is not.

[pokepal148]

I smell something a bit fishy about Khush's sudden vote change, although maybe it is fish, I like fish.

[RedBlue]

This game's so corrupt already we're moving it to Qatar and finishing it in 2022.

Vote Lucariofan on general principles.

Don't get FIFA involved shush, they will kick out the mls

[RedBlue]

All this talk has made me thirsty for some cold refreshing bud light.

PROUD sponsor of MLS.

[NWR_insanolord]

All this talk has made me thirsty for some cold refreshing bud light.

PROUD sponsor of MLS.

They actually just switched the official beer of MLS to Heineken, so your plug is out of date.

And yes, I did screw up the date there, I apologize. I meant the 18th, today, so you've got 15 minutes.

[RedBlue]

All this talk has made me thirsty for some cold refreshing bud light.

PROUD sponsor of MLS.

They actually just switched the official beer of MLS to Heineken, so your plug is out of date.

And yes, I did screw up the date there, I apologize. I meant the 18th, today, so you've got 15 minutes.

I was looking at http://m.mlssoccer.com/sponsors. But don't worry don't let mayhem happen because you are in good hands with allstate.

Proud sponsor of this post and the MLS

[NWR_insanolord]

That switch may not go into effect until next season. Anyway, the day is over, so get your night actions in in the next hour if you haven't already done so.