It's hard for me to write parody hyperbole while you're calling for the guillotining of a fictional tutorial character based on a demo you didn't play.
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It's already Black Friday.
This is not a true statement, but retail does not care. I have been bombarded with adverts that read "Black Friday is now!" Their stridency indicates that they are aware of the inaccuracy of their assertions and simply wish to pave over this inconvenient truth.
I'm not going to write about that - it's just an observation I felt like sharing.
You see, I'd much rather talk about manufactured outrage in the gaming journalism sphere. We got an email about the overwhelming coverage a single NPC in the Metroid Prime 4 press demo has received. This pushed into a broader conversation about the state of the content creator space.
James even muses about creating a sock puppet to make... sock puppet arguments. He's well suited; he's been writing bullshit articles that mean nearly exactly the opposite of what they say for years.
Is this healthy? No.
But if you've been trying to ride the outrage minecart to YouTube's algorithmic goldmine, you need to find fatalistic fresh takes.
These aren't hot takes, they're explicit doomerism. You can even extend this to written content. And I have one weird trick to help!
Take a fact - remove context. Your thesis? That fact is bad.
Example
- FACT: Pokémon Z to A had worse launch day sales at UK retailers than Scarlet and Violet.
- CONTEXT: Switch 2 users are more likely to buy digitally and Nintendo consumers in general are shifting to digital. Some percentage of customers buy both versions of a two-version Pokémon game and Z to A only has one version. Z to A is not a traditional game in the series, making the comparison not like-for-like.
- THESIS: Pokémon Z to A's worse chart performance in UK retailers means consumers are getting tired of lazy Game Freak.
It's that simple!
- FACT: Metroid Prime 4 previews included an annoying character.
- CONTEXT: The previews seem to be from the start of the game, as the character is engaging in tutoring the player to play Metroid Prime. It's been nearly two decades since Metroid Prime 3, so Nintendo likely thinks this is necessary.
- THESIS: ...
Show me what you learned in the comments!
In the meantime, we did a podcast. Greg is out. James is the only person with New Business, because he's been playing Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity. It may not sound like it but he does like it. He just wishes it took some more wild swings. He also feels like we all need to hear about weird goings-on in the eShop. He is wrong, please forgive him.
After a break, we tackle some LISTENER MAIL. It's all caps this week because we are confronted with a moral dilemma: your child wants a bad game - do you buy it? We are also confronted with a journalistic challenge: I didn't get an invite to Nintendo's Metroid Prime 4 demos and want to write about it. Lastly, we're confronted with the question of why the Switch 2 is lacking exclusives.
- (00:08:37) New Business - Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity.
- (00:35:09) Where's the Octopus, Bases Loaded, and other eShop gems and Jaleco classics.
- (00:45:24) Listener Mail - Protect a kid from his mistakes or have them learn from it?
- (01:16:23) Miles Mackenzie Metroid Meltdown.
- (01:45:44) Where are the exclusives? Where is the second screen?
This episode was edited by Guillaume Veillette. The "Men of Leisure" theme song was produced exclusively for Radio Free Nintendo by Perry Burkum. Hear more at Perry's SoundCloud. The Radio Free Nintendo logo was produced by Connor Strickland. See what he's up to at his website.
This episode's ending music is "Agave" from Sin and Punishment. Arrangement by Toshiya Yamanaka. It was selected by Greg. All rights reserved by Nintendo Co., Ltd.
