Community Forums => General Chat => Topic started by: Oblivion on August 25, 2011, 07:01:51 PM
Title: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Oblivion on August 25, 2011, 07:01:51 PM
Just wondering if any of you have some huge regret in your life that has affected you in huge way since then. Just trying to get to know some of you people better.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: ShyGuy on August 25, 2011, 07:52:31 PM
A woman.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Oblivion on August 25, 2011, 07:55:32 PM
In a serious way?
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: ShyGuy on August 25, 2011, 08:02:20 PM
Yes.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Oblivion on August 25, 2011, 08:16:27 PM
Well, I'm sorry to hear (read?) that.
My biggest regret also involved a woman, but it was only a part of it. Let's just say I lied about who I was, how old I was, even my personality for about four years. I finally told the truth when I was 7 months in an online relationship with a woman six years older than me. I also hurt some friends I had made along the way.
Did I say too much?
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Ceric on August 25, 2011, 08:18:58 PM
Right this second that I can't go back in time and make a 2-Player Megaman and get the excellent US Megaman show extended 2 more seasons. I like to carry my Son through at three right and jump is a hard concept it seems.
Seriously enough though I'm going to go with my set of College choices. (Career, love life , even school)
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: EasyCure on August 25, 2011, 08:37:57 PM
Bet you're regretting that post. You've come full circle :)
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: NWR_insanolord on August 25, 2011, 08:45:43 PM
Most of the big decisions in my life have worked out pretty well for me. The biggest regret I have is very specific and fairly stupid, but it's the one thing I'd change if I could. I wish I could go back and wait until Monday the 3rd to come back to school after Christmas break this past year instead of the day before. Coming back on Sunday, in those weather conditions, I broke my ankle. I'm sure if I'd waited a day like I originally intended to the weather would have gotten better and the maintenance crew would have salted the sidewalks like they should have the previous day, but I didn't, and then couldn't walk for three months and am currently significantly behind in school because of it.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Oblivion on August 25, 2011, 08:51:11 PM
Bet you're regretting that post. You've come full circle :)
Yeah...I don't regret it very much but I'm apprehensive about making friends online now.
No need to be, part of socializing is getting a good ribbing every now and again. No one will befriend you if you can't take a joke about yourself.
Here, as a means to make amends I'll take the topic at hand seriously and discuss one of my regrets (one that isn't cliche about women);
Quitting college before my first semester was even over. My issue was, I didn't want to go in the first place. I was sort of forced into it very last minute; I went in to community college with no idea what I would study so I picked arts because I'm a slacker. Once I got there it felt like high school all over again, full of idiots interrupting class just not giving a **** which made me not give a ****.
While I *still* feel that college is really a big waste of time and money (especially money) I can't help but feel I would be marginally further ahead in life if I had stuck to it. Without having to get in a long winded explanation of what I do, I'll just say I'm a social worker; I see the poorest of the poor day in day out and I still end up feeling like I'm not making as much as I should be. I know that if I had that stupid piece of paper I'd be earning a few bucks more and that's the sole reason I regret not completing it. If I just vested a little more time (and a lot more money) I'd feel somewhat more successful.
Then again, I see how much worse off some peers are who have finished; nice piece of paper on the wall but no paper in their wallets. Jobs are scarce and they have no work experience; at least I have that under my belt, plus I don't owe anyone fucking money.
I guess my regret flip-flops so you can count it if you want. At least I opened up, which is your secret motive behind the thread right?
Morari, I know how you feel about college - I think we agree on most points - so please don't derail this thread ;) )
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Oblivion on August 26, 2011, 02:06:50 AM
Oh, no, I'm not upset at the joke you made. I actually found it quite hilarious. It made me look back at myself and laugh. I was just saying that because of that I've tried my very hardest to NOT make friends online.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: ShyGuy on August 26, 2011, 02:42:57 AM
College is often a waste.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: BranDonk Kong on August 26, 2011, 08:10:36 AM
Wow, I actually have the same regret as EC. I did finish the first semester, but only after dropping one class, and then I didn't go back for 8 years.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: NWR_insanolord on August 26, 2011, 09:01:51 AM
As someone who is going into a field that requires a college degree and is having a great time getting it, I love college. That may have something to do with the fact that I'm essentially going for free, though. Like I said, things have generally worked out pretty well for me.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Ceric on August 26, 2011, 09:56:41 AM
A Good College education will give you a way of thinking, a set of experiences, and a social network that will help you in your career and life in general. A Bad College education gives you a paper on the wall.
Mine was a Mediocre College Education and it was my fault. I should have been more adventurous. My School did a very good job of giving me a way of problem solving and thinking that has really made me flexible and able to perform at my job. I myself didn't form the connections and be adventurous in College to have a lot of experiences and social networking. Though I do wish I would have went to a larger more varied school with an Animation department.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Morari on August 26, 2011, 11:18:35 AM
A Good College education will give you a way of thinking, a set of experiences, and a social network that will help you in your career and life in general.
Doesn't that sum it up quite nicely? College is all about social and financial conditioning. The paper proves to employers that you think a certain way and little else. Sure, having that little piece of paper listed on your resume will get you through HR and to an actual interview, but after that it's meaningless.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Fatty The Hutt on August 26, 2011, 11:33:16 AM
My joke answer to the question: biggest regret is replying in this thread.
My not-joke answer is very similar to Ceric's: I wish I had taken better advantage of my undergrad degree. I did pretty well but I could have attacked some of the courses in a more robust way and, small surprise, gotten more out of them. Basically, I slacked off in a few courses and got only OK grades as a result in those courses. But the grades aren't the point. Its the exposure to different content, ideas and methods of critical thinking on which I missed out. I can and have caught up on all of these things over the (many) years since my undergrad but I have never again had the time or opportunity to immerse myself in new content and ideas the way I did during my undergrad. If I ever get the time again, I would definitely go back to university. Someday. Maybe I'll do a few courses sometime.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Ceric on August 26, 2011, 11:39:30 AM
I sure hope all our College readers and the ones preparing to go to college read this thread and really take what we're saying to heart because its very tempting to slack off in college but, its the most "free" time you'll have in your life and should be worked hard so, you don't have to work hard later in life.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Fatty The Hutt on August 26, 2011, 11:42:47 AM
I sure hope all our College readers and the ones preparing to go to college read this thread and really take what we're saying to heart because its very tempting to slack off in college but, its the most "free" time you'll have in your life and should be worked hard so, you don't have to work hard later in life.
Excellent summation, Ceric. Couldn't agree more.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: ShyGuy on August 26, 2011, 12:06:00 PM
I know far more people with college degrees that have nothing to do with what they do for a living than people who have made use of their degree.
If you have the time and money, or a specific, mapped-out career plan, go for it. Otherwise it can be a really expensive hobby.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Ceric on August 26, 2011, 12:39:40 PM
I know far more people with college degrees that have nothing to do with what they do for a living than people who have made use of their degree.
If you have the time and money, or a specific, mapped-out career plan, go for it. Otherwise it can be a really expensive hobby.
I know more than a few myself. In my circle a lot of them might not be doing what they got the degree to do but, the process of getting the degree led them to the contacts they needed and other experiences that enabled them to be doing what they are doing today.
I will tell anyone straight up that more than likely you won't be doing what you thought you would be with your degree once you graduate. I can also tell you that you will have people who are doing what your doing without a degree. Some people are very charismatic and just plain lucky. They can pretty much do whatever they want to do.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't get a degree. It just means that a degree in and of itself is just a piece of paper. An optional key if you will. Its the journey to the Degree and making the most of it that is the important part.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Fatty The Hutt on August 26, 2011, 01:15:39 PM
I really struggle with reconciling two notions of post-high school education: on the one hand, many view the education as utilitarian: get a degree, get a better job. On the other hand, my personal experience is that it wasn't until university that I became a person. Before that, I was just a dumb kid. University opened my world and I am not sure anything else could have done that in the same way. But its a very expensive and time consuming lesson that can be gotten in other ways. You can just choose to open your own world to other experiences, while working, and, y'know, just go to the fucking library occasionally. I get that. I also am not doing now anything remotely like what I started off studying in university. Even during my post-grad degree, which led more closely into my current work, I studied a branch of topics that I didn't end up pusuing in my work. So, if i just looked at higher education as utilitarian, I would have to conclude I wasted my time and money. But I don't think that at all. University did more for me as a person than I could ever have anticipated and I'm not sure I can measure. Partly, this is becaise I embraced what university offered. As I said earlier, my regret is not embracing everything I could have.
So, now I have kids, the oldest of whom is just finishing juniour high. Soon he will be facing questions about higher education. He'll probably go, but what kind of education will he pursue? Will he go strictly utlitarian and get trade training or an employement-focussed college degree? Or will he go for the full-on university undergrad with the expectation of spending more time specializing with post-grad work? The former is certainly faster and cheaper and will, all going well, lead sooner into decent employment, wages and the path to career advancement. This could in turn facilitate things like marriage, house, kids; good stuff like that. The long university route might make him a deeper thinker or a more well-rounded person but it might not. Its also long and expensive. Its inherently risky but with potentially bigger rewards. Like I say, I struggle.
Ulitimately, its not my decision. Also, I have to remember not to be so fatalistic. One crossroads decision at age 18 isn't set in stone. You can always take different paths as you go along in life. I've taken many myself. Many haven't worked out but I've certainly gotten something out of each.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: ShyGuy on August 26, 2011, 01:21:30 PM
So what things did university offer you that you can't put a price tag on?
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Ceric on August 26, 2011, 02:02:52 PM
it wasn't until university that I became a person. Before that, I was just a dumb kid.
This.
Also, I met my wife, lifelong friends, mentors. And all that other stuff I wrote about above. Read it again. Go ahead. I'll wait.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: ShyGuy on August 26, 2011, 03:26:51 PM
Good things happened while you were there, not because of the institution. I'm sorry, I just don't see where college has exclusive domain over the serendipity of life.
As for the education, I believe a student should be learning new ideas and critical thinking in the first twelve years of his school life.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Ceric on August 26, 2011, 04:36:20 PM
Good things happened while you were there, not because of the institution. I'm sorry, I just don't see where college has exclusive domain over the serendipity of life.
As for the education, I believe a student should be learning new ideas and critical thinking in the first twelve years of his school life.
They should be learning those things. The curriculum doesn't really lend itself to that currently. There are many reasons we are among the lowest in K-12 education. Other countries do Calculus before High School.
No one says College does. Its just something that helps your chances. You can become the President after being a Hermit all your life without an education for all it matters. Nothing is implicitly stopping you. Its just your chances will be much lower.
Plenty of people make it without a college education everyday. They do perfectly fine. Some do better than fine. Others really lucked out in life (inheriting a house would be big, I could make half of what I do, which would put me at a low social workers pay (which they really aren't paid enough), and have a better quality of life without the house payment.)
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: EasyCure on August 27, 2011, 01:27:26 PM
Good things happened while you were there, not because of the institution. I'm sorry, I just don't see where college has exclusive domain over the serendipity of life.
As for the education, I believe a student should be learning new ideas and critical thinking in the first twelve years of his school life.
Agreed. As I said (or at least may of hinted at in my previous post) I know too many people who pursued college and aren't as far ahead in life as I am; at least career/income wise. Yes some are married or at least have children, whereas I'm not, but as far as careers go.. wow.
Know who my lifelong friends are? The ones I made in elementary school (true story, my friend Joe I've known since K and we're still in touch to this day, by far my closest friend) and a few others, anyone I met in high school or my one semester of college are losers (mainly because my only choice of friends were losers I had common interest with, such as music, or losers who were into gang-baggin and thug lives).
How have I gotten farther ahead than my friends who have completed college? I work my ass off. I naturally have a strong work ethic, I've been offered fast promotions at any job I've been in so far and usually the only thing that keeps me from accepting those is a better pay check elsewhere. No it doesn't look good to not hold a job more than two years, but hey if they're willing to hire and pay more, that's where I'm going.
And how did I get this far anyway? Oh that's right, I can socialize without having to pay for the experience. I'm not saying this comes easy to everyone, sometimes you need to be thrown into the pit (so to speak) and fend for yourself; honestly that's what I went through. I had my close circle of friends in HS and yes I could easily branch out to meet new people, but I didn't. It was my choice to let a few get close enough to say they know me and keep that connection beyond HS. Once I started working though I had no choice but to socialize with new people, some who I may not have otherwise bothered with "in real life".
Even know, I met someone through work who told me if I ever want to switch careers and work with him, he'd gladly hire me on the spot. I can't even remember what it is he does but it's good to know I have that option available to me.
Oh and luck, luck is a big part of it.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Stogi on August 27, 2011, 04:19:48 PM
My biggest regret is probably too serious for this thread.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Morari on August 27, 2011, 04:28:14 PM
My biggest regret? I once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. I now regret not doing it for the money instead.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Oblivion on August 27, 2011, 05:58:33 PM
My biggest regret is probably too serious for this thread.
Well, I made in thread in hopes it would be serious enough for things like that.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: UltimatePartyBear on August 29, 2011, 07:42:40 PM
My biggest regret is not taking more advanced math courses in college. I coasted through all my high school math so easily that I thought I should concentrate on stuff that didn't come to me so easily in college. I figured I could teach myself whatever math I needed. I was wrong. I just don't have the drive to do something so tedious. I also regret not going back to school for a higher degree. I've been out of school too long by now to tolerate that life again.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Ian Sane on August 30, 2011, 01:33:25 PM
My biggest regret was that I was too responsible in high school and college. I focused a lot on getting good grades and it all led directly to my career. I can honestly say that my job, my car, my savings and my house all came from my initial career plans that I started in high school. I succeeded at what I set out to do so one would assume that I have no reason to regret things.
The problem is that I compromised my social life during my teens and early 20's. I had friends (and these guys have remained my closest friends for over 15 years now) but it was a small group and I didn't date much during this time. I didn't go to parties and I was very shy and kind of a stick in the mud. I turn 30 in a few months and I'm still single. When I was younger I did not figure that would be the case. I just assumed all that "grown up" stuff like a career, house and marriage would all work out in my 20's. The problem is that I was really only working towards the career oriented stuff. You get a job, save up money and buy a car and house. You don't go to the wife store. That part of your life is unrelated to your career.
When I was 24 I made a conscious effort to be more outgoing and to improve my social skills. It worked quite well. I get along with people better and feel confident in social situations. I am much happier as a result. I have had girlfriends and have had a fairly active dating life since then but nothing has stuck. I feel like I'm five years behind the rest of the world on this stuff and it puts me at a significant disadvantage. My social skills are adequate but not as good as they should be for a 29 year old.
Meanwhile I'll go to church and I'll see people I knew in high school that never put much effort into their schoolwork. They've got a spouse and kids and things seemed to have worked out for them. They've got the house and career like I've got, but they also have a family. Working hard in school has actually gotten me LESS than what they've got. And it isn't like my career is very fulfilling. I know the only real joy I get in life is in human relationships. It is my friends and family that make me happy, not a career or money or possessions. I would rather work a lower paying joe job and come home to a loving wife and children, then work my better job and come home to my cats.
Your life doesn't end at 30 so I still have time. But I certainly did not make things easy for myself. I wish I was the person I am now back when I was 16. I'd like to go back in time and tell myself "hey, stop being such an anti-social nerd!"
Despite these feeling of regret however, based on the circumstances and knowledge I had at the time, the choices I made in high school made sense. Things have not worked out exactly as planned but it isn't like I made an obviously poor decision with lots of risks that didn't pay off. Everyone tells you to study hard and do well in school. It is hammered into you your whole childhood. My upbringing, not just by my parents but by society itself, taught me to make the decisions I made. Had I done what I wish I had done, it would have been seen as very radical. In a way I don't feel regretful as much as ripped off, like I was given bad advice.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Lithium on September 11, 2011, 06:11:39 PM
im still young enough that i dont have any regrets, the only thing is bugs me about my life is that i still dont have any clue where i want my life to go in the 3 years since i graduated highschool, I've gotten lucky that i've somehow got a pretty good paying job with only highschool diploma with room to move up however i feel like im in danger of this job ending up being my career.
Right now its not about regret but rather unease about the future
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Ceric on September 11, 2011, 07:36:51 PM
im still young enough that i dont have any regrets, the only thing is bugs me about my life is that i still dont have any clue where i want my life to go in the 3 years since i graduated highschool, I've gotten lucky that i've somehow got a pretty good paying job with only highschool diploma with room to move up however i feel like im in danger of this job ending up being my career.
Right now its not about regret but rather unease about the future
Compliancy and risk adversion will cause that to happen. That how I ended up in a career that I figured out in College had a 50% chance of being just frustrating and limiting.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Lithium on September 11, 2011, 08:22:24 PM
im still young enough that i dont have any regrets, the only thing is bugs me about my life is that i still dont have any clue where i want my life to go in the 3 years since i graduated highschool, I've gotten lucky that i've somehow got a pretty good paying job with only highschool diploma with room to move up however i feel like im in danger of this job ending up being my career.
Right now its not about regret but rather unease about the future
Compliancy and risk adversion will cause that to happen. That how I ended up in a career that I figured out in College had a 50% chance of being just frustrating and limiting.
the thing is i've allready saved up the money for college so i basically can go anytime i want to but I dont want to blow all of my money to go to university just because society says i have to. I figured i'd wait until i at least had a vaugue idea of where i want to go in life but so far i still dont have a clue. I dont feel going to college/uni for the sake of opening up my mind , critical thinking, learning how to learn etc.. will be worth it for me, I was lucky enough to have very good teachers in highschool who already gave me all of that.
Title: Re: What is your biggest regret?
Post by: Ceric on September 11, 2011, 08:26:15 PM
Try different things. Since you have the money saved consider doing activities related to things you might be interested in. (Seminar, club, convention etc.) Once you find it then get whats needed to be successful in that field.
