Community Forums => I'M BACK => Topic started by: UncleBob on December 11, 2009, 08:17:06 PM
Title: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: UncleBob on December 11, 2009, 08:17:06 PM
2000) You post things like "your are" on the internet.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Plugabugz on December 11, 2009, 08:29:52 PM
1999) Unclebob's continues tears of shame
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Mop it up on December 11, 2009, 08:41:12 PM
1998) You don't know the definition of "Oxymoron".
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on December 11, 2009, 08:41:54 PM
1997) bcuz engrish iznt mai furhst langwudje
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: EasyCure on December 11, 2009, 10:57:51 PM
1996. Cuz you went to public schools
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: NWR_insanolord on December 11, 2009, 11:37:54 PM
1995. You didn't want to stand out by being the only one on the internet who doesn't.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on December 12, 2009, 12:33:09 AM
1994) Ebonics is a recognized language in California
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: King of Twitch on December 12, 2009, 12:51:44 AM
1993 you know das right! -- spelling on da geekbox iz as releveant ta me as uh shank in uh gat fight peep this ****
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Caterkiller on December 12, 2009, 02:27:36 AM
1992) I have a hard time pronouncing "pull", I pronounce it "pool" and I recently found out my students laugh at me behind my back.
1991) I thought Salmon was pronounced SAL-mon
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: RABicle on December 12, 2009, 07:10:11 AM
1990) Its hard to know when to put an apostrophe into it's/its because its has it's own special rules regarding possessive apostrophes that I've intentionally broken in this sentance.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: vudu on December 12, 2009, 10:02:20 AM
1979) You don't know how to count.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: BranDonk Kong on December 12, 2009, 11:34:14 AM
1998)
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on December 12, 2009, 12:24:31 PM
1997) Sexting is all teh rage!!!
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Spinnzilla on December 12, 2009, 12:49:44 PM
1996 ) I only have 6 fingers.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Peachylala on December 12, 2009, 01:31:17 PM
1995) O RLY? NO WAI!!
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: EasyCure on December 12, 2009, 03:39:11 PM
1994. because the year 2009 is coming to a close and there's still no auto-spell check in place on ANY device that lets you input WOARDS
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on December 12, 2009, 03:41:40 PM
1994. because the year 2009 is coming to a close and there's still no auto-spell check in place on ANY device that lets you input WOARDS
what do you mean by that? like input words as correct even when they are incorrect? because firefox let me do that (enter words as I want them spelled).
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: EasyCure on December 12, 2009, 03:43:58 PM
1994. because the year 2009 is coming to a close and there's still no auto-spell check in place on ANY device that lets you input WOARDS
what do you mean by that? like input words as correct even when they are incorrect? because firefox let me do that (enter words as I want them spelled).
but its not implimented in all devices. While i'm at it:
1993. Because even the smartest smart-phone's auto-complete fucks up.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: stevey on December 12, 2009, 04:16:30 PM
1990) I was born into this world for the sole purpose and reason of destroying the English language and of it's worshipers ie. English Majors/PhD.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Stratos on December 12, 2009, 06:12:15 PM
198?) I can has LOL Cats.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: GearBoxClock on December 12, 2009, 06:18:24 PM
1988) What do you mean, dictionary?
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Kairon on December 12, 2009, 07:53:54 PM
1987. You never played Pokemon and thus never acquired the "basic reading skills" that were required to play those games.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on December 12, 2009, 08:24:35 PM
1986) I iz on teh internetz
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Mop it up on December 12, 2009, 08:27:40 PM
1985) You miscomprehended posts because you were concentrating on something else.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: EasyCure on December 13, 2009, 01:00:05 PM
1984. You're new to the internet and are so insecure that you follow peoples lead and wRiTe lIkE D1s t0 f1T iN
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: vudu on December 13, 2009, 01:39:02 PM
1983) Bcaesue i'ts pveron taht lteetr-oderr deon'st mettar as lnog as the frsit & lsat letetr are crrocet.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: EasyCure on December 13, 2009, 02:40:52 PM
1982. because i like to rap, yo.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Mop it up on December 13, 2009, 04:04:35 PM
1970) You ask the guy working behind the counter at Walmart about the "X Box E-light".
I hate my life...
Is this like the people who asked for GameStations and PlayBoxes during the GC/PS2/XBX launch windows?
XBox + DS Lite = X Box E-light?
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: UncleBob on December 15, 2009, 09:53:25 AM
No, nothing so complicated.
The box says "Elite". They read it as "E-Light".
One of these days, you're going to read a news article about a Walmart employee killing themselves by smashing their head into the glass doors of the game cases.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: UltimatePartyBear on December 15, 2009, 12:14:45 PM
1969) Heh. 69.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: vudu on December 15, 2009, 01:27:50 PM
In the Wal-Mart shopper's defense, Lite is the hip way to spell "light" (see DS Lite). And these days you add an "e" (or "i") before other words to make them even cooler. Presto! eLite.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Mop it up on December 15, 2009, 02:13:12 PM
I don't see what's so terrible about somebody who mispronounces a word. I'd take that over rude people any day.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: EasyCure on December 15, 2009, 06:36:58 PM
I don't see what's so terrible about somebody who mispronounces a word. I'd take that over rude people any day.
in UB's defense (and anyones who's had similar retail jobs.. i feel ya bob, i feel ya) these are the same people that get mad at you (ie rude) when you tell them you don't have an "x-box e-light" but you do have an xbox "elite". They're also the kind of people that SWEAR ON THEIR LIVES that they've seen their kid play a Mario game on an Xbox and threaten your manager when you tell them otherwise...
anyway:
1968. Heh.. 69...
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Mop it up on December 15, 2009, 06:57:18 PM
Do you have to correct somebody when they mispronounce something? Because I'm sure not about to get into that with somebody. As long as I can figure out what they want then I see no reason to go further.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Stratos on December 15, 2009, 07:01:43 PM
I don't see what's so terrible about somebody who mispronounces a word. I'd take that over rude people any day.
in UB's defense (and anyones who's had similar retail jobs.. i feel ya bob, i feel ya) these are the same people that get mad at you (ie rude) when you tell them you don't have an "x-box e-light" but you do have an xbox "elite". They're also the kind of people that SWEAR ON THEIR LIVES that they've seen their kid play a Mario game on an Xbox and threaten your manager when you tell them otherwise...
So many people call Pizza Hut asking for Dominos Sandwiches and then start an argument with me about what we actually carry.
Once on a really slow day we got a customer who swore up and down they called 20 minutes ago to this very Pizza Hut but the phone had not rung the past hour and we had no orders at all. I asked what number they used and they showed it to me. I dialed it and just as I suspected, it was the Dominos.
Also, people will try to write checks out to Dominos, Papa Johns, Papa Murphys etc. all the time. *SIGH*
Do you have to correct somebody when they mispronounce something? Because I'm sure not about to get into that with somebody. As long as I can figure out what they want then I see no reason to go further.
Because if they try to ask for that item mispronounced with a new employee or search online or call tech support it can cause a lot of unneeded confusion.
Besides, I don't have to 'correct them' deliberately, I just repeat the name properly like "Oh, the XBox Elite? It's right over there."
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: EasyCure on December 15, 2009, 07:11:41 PM
Do you have to correct somebody when they mispronounce something? Because I'm sure not about to get into that with somebody. As long as I can figure out what they want then I see no reason to go further.
I just pronounce it the right way and hope they catch on, but some people... geez. conversations would go like this:
Customer: Hi, do you have the new [x-box e-light] Me: An Xbox elite? Yeah we have a few right over here... Customer: No, i wan't the e-light one, the tv said its only $199.. >:(
etc.
edit: I didn't even see stratos point, looks like we handle situations similarly.
Oh, and who the **** buys pizza with a check!? UGH checks = the bain of cashiers existence
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Mop it up on December 15, 2009, 07:20:15 PM
Because if they try to ask for that item mispronounced with a new employee or search online or call tech support it can cause a lot of unneeded confusion.
Besides, I don't have to 'correct them' deliberately, I just repeat the name properly like "Oh, the XBox Elite? It's right over there."
Call it selfish if you want but I deal with enough unruly people that I don't mind passing a few onto somebody else.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: EasyCure on December 15, 2009, 07:21:43 PM
Because if they try to ask for that item mispronounced with a new employee or search online or call tech support it can cause a lot of unneeded confusion.
Besides, I don't have to 'correct them' deliberately, I just repeat the name properly like "Oh, the XBox Elite? It's right over there."
Call it selfish if you want but I deal with enough unruly people that I don't mind passing a few onto somebody else.
Out of curiosity, what do you do?
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Mop it up on December 15, 2009, 07:25:01 PM
I work at a store called Half-Price Books. I'm sure it is very different than something like Wal*Mart. Usually I get people who complain about prices, mostly because they don't understand the "half-price" concept. Everything is half-off the LIST price, not some random auction you found on eBay.
Thing is, people still buy the stuff they say costs too much. I can come to no other conclusion than people just like to complain about everything.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: EasyCure on December 15, 2009, 07:26:02 PM
I work at a store called Half-Price Books. I'm sure it is very different that something like Wal*Mart. Usually I get people who complain about prices, mostly because they don't understand the "half-price" concept. Everything is half-off the LIST price, not some random auction you found on eBay.
Thing is, people still buy the stuff they say costs too much. I can come to no other conclusion than people just like to complain about everything.
I wonder if they ever visited PGC...
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Mop it up on December 15, 2009, 07:27:38 PM
1966) Somebody quotes your post before you can edit out an error.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Stogi on December 15, 2009, 07:28:54 PM
I work at a store called Half-Price Books. I'm sure it is very different than something like Wal*Mart. Usually I get people who complain about prices, mostly because they don't understand the "half-price" concept. Everything is half-off the LIST price, not some random auction you found on eBay.
Thing is, people still buy the stuff they say costs too much. I can come to no other conclusion than people just like to complain about everything.
Or their just trying to be frugal...:rollseyes:
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Mop it up on December 15, 2009, 07:30:32 PM
True. People will try any excuse to get something for a better price.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: SilverGrey on December 15, 2009, 08:18:50 PM
True. People will try any excuse to get something for a better price.
"It rained today in the Magic Kingdom, I want my money back" "Sorry, we don't give free days unless something was canceled, none of the rides were ever closed for the weather and the parade and fireworks went off as well" "But it rained" "Sorry, we don't give out free days for rain" "But my family and I didn't have fun because it rained" "I'm sorry to hear that, but we still don't give out free days unless your park experience was altered and things were canceled or closed" "Can't Disney control this!?"" "I'm sorry we have yet to figure out to how to control the weather patterns in Central Florida"
And I must say I have a hard time not laughing when people ask where the Hulk Coaster is, or if the monorail will take them to Sea World, or other things like that. People just don't pay attention to what they're saying, is my only conclusion. The belief that Disney controls the weather is something I never understand, I figure most other things are forgivable. Oh, except the guy who was dead convinced the park was on a giant turntable and that the exit moved and refused to believe it was at the end of Main St. and that it was ALWAYS at the end of Main St. There was no excuse for him.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: EasyCure on December 15, 2009, 08:42:24 PM
But being in a Disney Park and asking "Where is the Hulk Ride" will be a legitimate question pretty soon since Disney now owns Marvel.
fake edit: what Easycure said
1964. Because I use expressions like "thnx dawg"
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Toruresu on December 15, 2009, 10:17:15 PM
1963) Cause most people don't try and correct me
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Stogi on December 15, 2009, 10:30:58 PM
1962 - Because I like talking like Pootie Tang when I'm drunk
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: UncleBob on December 15, 2009, 11:22:43 PM
Just my opinion, but if you're too stupid to know how to pronounce a basic, 5-letter word - there's probably a large list of things you should spend your $299 on before buying video games.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: BeautifulShy on December 15, 2009, 11:42:43 PM
1961) Because people don't know how to use periods.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: EasyCure on December 16, 2009, 10:22:58 AM
1960. Because Maxi is ready to brawl (it seems..).
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: UncleBob on December 18, 2009, 08:54:48 PM
1959.) Super Smash Bugs Brawl and New Super Mario Wii Brothers.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Mop it up on December 18, 2009, 08:59:23 PM
1958) Super Mario Smash Brothers
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on December 18, 2009, 09:47:22 PM
1957) Super Smashed Brothers Brawling & New Super MarWiiO Bros.
1956) fixded it
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: GearBoxClock on December 18, 2009, 11:54:31 PM
1955) CaPs LOCK IS cRUSE CONTORL TO COOL!!1
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: UltimatePartyBear on December 19, 2009, 12:31:39 AM
1954) Darn it. I wanted 1955.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Stratos on December 19, 2009, 01:30:23 AM
i r txtng rly fst.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Mop it up on December 19, 2009, 03:02:55 AM
1953) Because English has no rules of phonetics.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Stratos on December 19, 2009, 04:21:52 AM
1952)
Let's face it English is a stupid language. There is no egg in the eggplant No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted But if we examine its paradoxes we find that Quicksand takes you down slowly Boxing rings are square And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing. If the plural of tooth is teeth Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth If the teacher taught, Why didn't the preacher praught.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables What the heck does a humanitarian eat!? Why do people recite at a play Yet play at a recital? Park on driveways and Drive on parkways
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy Of a language where a house can burn up as It burns down And in which you fill in a form By filling it out And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers And it reflects the creativity of the human race (Which of course isn't a race at all)
That is why When the stars are out they are visible But when the lights are out they are invisible And why it is that when I wind up my watch It starts But when I wind up this observation, It ends.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on December 19, 2009, 04:26:24 AM
1951) Ummmm, Teachers teach and Preachers preach.... but I understand you point (even if it was copy/pasted)
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: Stratos on December 19, 2009, 04:30:38 AM
I found that one while I was actually looking for one more like this I recalled:
Quote
We all know that English is quite a difficult language (http://letthisbeavailable.blogspot.com/2007/07/english-is-funny-language.html)to master what with all the double meanings and the extra-ordinarypronunciations. But the aspect of the English language that is the mostdifficult to grasp is the spelling. And blame it on the French! (thelanguage, I mean, not the people esp. not the hot French girls) I meanwhy is ren-dez-vous pronounced like how a Canadian would say round-a-bout. Apparently,it is this influence that egged the English to pronounce the wordsirrespective of how they were spelled. And this can be very annoyingfor a novice at the language. It is in the hope to simplify this aspectthat I present the following suggestions.
One of the things inthe English spelling that has trouble me are the double letters. Imean, they don't make any difference while pronouncing the word. So whykeep them? So, we can do away with the double leters. Another anoyingthing are the silent leters. Like there is no 'b' in doubt or debt, and the extraneous 'e' at the end of most of the words such as there, tableetc serves no purpose whatsoever. It definitely does not provideend-suport to those words. So of course, the silent leters ar out to.Now, yu can notic how esy evrything is now.
Now, another anoyingthing about th languag is th use of vowels for rong sounds. Thisdefinitly provids a lot of confusion. So we eliminat th problem byfixing th vowel sounds as thus: a wil hav th sound as in cut, but etc. e wil hav th sound as in fret, det etc. i wil hav th sound as in fish, mis etc. o wil hav th sound as in cot, froth etc. u wil hav th sound as in put, good etc. aa wil hav th sound as in car, park etc. ee wil hav th sound as in cat, that etc. This wil obviasli teek taaim tu get iusd tu, bat it wil carteenli bi isiar in tha long ran. (Not: tha dabal vowals bing iusd hiar aar onli diu tu tha presenc of onli faaiv vowals in Inglish. If iu wont, iu ceen ius α in plec of aa and ε in plec of ee.)
Inglisholso hees ridandent letars. For exaampal, tha letar 'c'. Haaf thataaim, it hees tha saaund of 'k' end et athar taaims, it is pronaauncdes 's'. Tha sem problam is with 'v' end 'w' bing tha sem saaund. So, wiceen riplec 'c' with it's epropriet saaund end olso riples 'w' with'v'. On tha sem laains, 'th' keen bi riplesd baai 'd'. End iu mast hevolredi notisd deet vi hev dan ave vid da letar 'y' tu.
'X' keen olso bi sabstitiuted vid 'ks', 'ph' vid 'f' etc. Samtaaims, 'g' meks da saaund of 'j' ees in garaag. Dis keen bi solvd baai speling it ees garaaj. End'z' hees da sem saaund es 'j' tu. So, vi eliminet 'z' oltugedar. Iukeen faaind meni sach sabstitiutians on ior on. Naau, ol dis maait simveri difikalt et da fast gleens, bat vid propar prektis, aai em siurdat enivan vil bi ebal tu maastar it.
If iu kam ap vid mor ves tu simplifaai Inglish es a lenguej, iu keen let mi no in da kaments sekshan (tion hees bin riplesd baai shan). Thenk iu for ior taaim.
PS: MS Ward gev mi a hel lot of trabal vid dis aartikal.
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: EasyCure on December 19, 2009, 11:58:21 AM
1950. If pro isis the opposite of con, is congress the opposite of progress??
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: UltimatePartyBear on December 20, 2009, 02:05:40 AM
1949. The opposite of pro is noob (http://failblog.org/2008/09/29/opposites-fail/).
Title: Re: 2000 reasons your are one who butchers the English Language
Post by: vudu on December 20, 2009, 04:23:56 PM
