Update: Bombs have been dropped on the room of
Great Fox aka Stevey. Nvestigatorbots have already looked through what is left of his room: they found a copy of a book titled “How to kill foxes”, clearly indicating that the Great Fox was in league with Star Wolf. Now that he has been taken care of, our mission is accomplished. Star Wolf has been defeated.
....Just a minute. I am getting word that the title of the book is actually “How to kill foxes at Parties: 101 jokes that are sure to crack your fox friends up.” It looks like Great Fox was just an
innocent vacationer. Hold on, the Nvestigatorbots are reporting that Great Fox is speaking to them. He is saying: “I always looked up to Star Fox – they’re my role models. That’s why I modified my body to look like the Great Fox. I’m a poor robot, it took me years to save up enough money for the custom modification. I just want…please tell Slippy this one thing....” He stopped there. The Nursebot 4000s say they do not have the knowledge required to fix him. There is nothing they can do. Great Fox has died.
Just a minute.
Slippy aka Dasmos just came in over the open channel, shouting “Noooooo!” Nvestigatorbots have been deployed to his room. They are reporting back now: it seems the
innocent vacationer’s tongue was pulled out and wrapped around his neck, in an attempt to strangle him. He is still alive, though, and is being cared for by the Nursebot 2000s.
There is no more hope.
Star Wolf has won.Just a minute. Star Wolf has boarded our ship! Wolf O Donnell is standing right in front of me. He is approaching, with some kind of tool in his hand. I do not know what he is planning. He has opened my primarhewppjdfpsfdjgmbnasfdgpkljbng
Update: Someone came in over the open channel for half a second last night. They said “elp.” I traced the message, and found it came from the room of
Bill Grey aka Drew. Nvestigatorbots were sent right away. They found Bill laying on the floor, bleeding profusely, and not breathing. Further investigation revealed that a rib had been ripped from his chest and shoved down his throat. He was handed over to the care of the Nursebot 2000s. He is now in a stable condition, though still unconscious.
The Nvestigatorbots scoured his room. They found army metals, pictures of people he held dear, and....a paper certifying he was a
Cornarian Army Doctor. There was also a tattered copy of the book Your Whole Family is Made Out of Meat: The Best of Dinosaur Comics: 2003-2005 AD by Ryan North…which, at $14.99, is a really terrific value.
Just a minute. Some kind of blue box is appearing out of thin air – right in front of me! It’s about six feet tall, it’s transparency fluctuating, and it’s making a very loud, unusual sound. It’s very clear now – the words “POLICE BOX” are written across its top. Two people are stepping out of it. They look like the humans of legend – one is male, one female. Just a moment. The male asked me if someone asked for protection from the doctor. I told him that someone had, but that it was too late. The doctor thanked me, and then him and the person he was with left the way they came.
Update: Panther Coroso aka Mystic Gohan came in over the open channel. “Well, you finally figured it out,” he said. “Pepper. Ahahaha, Pepper. What would we do without you?”
General Pepper aka Khush, who was standing behind Panther, nodded. Panther smiled. “But now I must go. Wolf has ordered me to Venom – we’re going to be making some more deadly gas, and the ingredients are in the toxic Venom seas.” People shouted back: ‘You aren’t going anywhere!’ ‘You’re dead meat, panther!’ Panther just smiled, and held up his rose. "All who see my rose will meet death." Then he switched off the video feed.
The bombs were dropped. Nvestigatorbots were deployed. They found the bloody remains of General Pepper – the
traitor mouthed “I’m sorry,” before slipping into unconsciousness, and being put on life support. But no trace of Panther was found.
This isn’t the first time General Pepper has been injured on the Lonely Hearts Inn. There was an incident many years ago, back when he was a Sergeant. He was playing drums with his band, in the satellite's lounge, when he suddenly toppled over. He was taken to a nearby hospital, but the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong. He was ill and bed-ridden for the next several months. What specifically was wrong with him is still unknown, but there are rumors that the sudden illness was the result of secret experiments Dr. Andross was conducting on the satellite.
Just a minute – I’m detecting an escape pod leaving the ship. Trying to intercept....interception unsuccessful. The pod is already light years away. It appears Panther has managed to escape.
Update: Last night,
Trebonius Cinna aka Stabby came in over the open channel. “Please, someone help!” he called out. “Or does anyone know how to make an outside call? If I contacted my republic….” But he was interrupted by Wolf O’ Donnell, who appeared as if out of nowhere. Wolf asked him why he didn’t just run, and noted Trebonius’s suit should protect him from the deadly gas for 10 minutes or so. “I should know,” said Wolf. “The suit I’m wearing now is derived from your technology.” Tebonius stuttered in reply: "Y-you mean you s-stole our..." but before he could finish, Wolf looked at the screen and said he wanted some “privacy,” and then pushed a button on the Ultra 64 computer. The video went dark. It appears another
innocent vacationer has been taken out.
Update: I have been instructed by Fox to blow up whomever the people vote for – but today there is a tie. I am unsure what to do. I think I must decide whom to kill, by myself.
Falco Lombardi aka Zach has said mean things to me in the past. Surely he is less trustworthy than General Pepper. I should kill Falco. Yes. Sending bombs now. Falco has been taken care of.
Wait a minute. I’m getting word from the Nvestigatorbots. They are looking at the remains of Falco’s room, and they say they’ve found....a suit of feathers? Wait, now they’re saying....they have found a fox? His right arm and leg have been blown off? Oh. This isn’t good. It appears Falco was really
Fox McCloud in disguise. He is in critical condition. I hope the Nursebot 2000s can keep him alive.
Update: Last night,
Amanda aka 18days came in over Open Channel. Tears were in her eyes (I think that is a sign of sadness, but I do not understand emotions very well.) She said she was sorry to Slippy, for insisting they come here to the satellite. Slippy told her that nothing was her fault, and said he’d invent something to get them out of this. Then, the shadow of a wolf appeared behind Amanda, and the video of her suddenly turned to static. Slippy called out: “Amanda! NOOOOOOOOOOO!” It was no use. It appears another
innocent vacationer has been taken out.
Update: Andrew Oikonny aka TVMan’s last words, before the bombs were dropped on him, were “Andross’s enemy is my enemy!” Then, as the room exploded around him, he was heard to shout “AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” After the explosion, an Nvestigatorbot was sent to his room to see if the nephew of andross was ever any threat – but it turns out he was just an
innocent vacationer. It is a shame he had to be exploded. I think this vacation might have really mellowed him out. Perhaps, he would have gone back home, and people would have said “he’s still insane…but not so much anymore.” Instead, he is lying in a coma, as Nursebot 4000s try to extract the shrapnel that is stuck in various parts of his furry body. At least he is still alive.
Update: For a few seconds last night,
BafomDad aka Vudu came in over Open Channel. The picture was distorted and impossible to make out – but the audio was clear. There was a high pitched squeal, and calls for help. There were growls. There was laughter, coming from a mouth sounding like it was filled with flesh. And then there was silence. It appears another
innocent vacationer has been taken out. The only question that remains is: did the BafomDad grant Star Wolf an extra life?
Update: Bombs have been dropped on chosen target
Prince Tricky aka Spak-Spang. He managed to survive – but he is in critical condition, and it is likely he will never be able to walk or talk again. An Nvestigatorbot scoured the remains of his room: it found the tattered cover of a book titled “How to exploit foxes for fun and profit”, and quarts of dinosaur blood – but there were no traces of either Panther or Wolf. It seems Tricky was just an
innocent vacationer.Update: A giant disembodied monkey head, presumed to be
Andross, was detected floating away from the satellite. He was heard to have said: “Star Wolf can take things from here. Muhahahahahaha.” Then, he was hit by a pacing space freighter. He is presumed dead.
Update: A Cleaningbot 64 found the charred remains of
Leon Plowski aka Mario in air purification service station #2. His tongue was stuck on a high-voltage panel, next to a buzzing fly. A Nursebot 2000 found that he was still breathing, so he was taken to a spare room, and put on life support.
Update: Andross has taken over the “Lonely Hearts Inn” satellite and flooded its corridors with deadly gas. Everyone has gotten safely to their rooms, which are safe from the gas, but not everyone was quick enough. The following vacationers are currently bleeding out of every orifice and throwing up various internal organs:
Shift Key,
Smoke39,
KnowNothing,
Garnee,
Bill,
Nyladrin,
Crimm,
Infernal Monkey,
CouchMonkey,
Deguello,
Svevan,
MaryJane,
NuclearSpeed,
Mantidor,
BigJim, and
ShyGuy.
They are being tended to by Nursebot 2000s, but the vacationers will remain incapacitated until a doctor arrives.
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