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[Oh, when will death come?]

151

TalkBack / Homie Rollerz Review

« on: March 31, 2008, 07:17:06 AM »

Oh, when will death come?

http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/review/15669/homie-rollerz-nintendo-ds

One of my friends asked me the other day why I review awful, horrible, cramp-inducing shovelware without pay. My knee-jerk answer was “free games in the mail,” but there’s a larger, nobler motivation at work here. In playing such dreck as Animates, Bee Movie Game, Rockstar Presents Table Tennis and most recently, Spitfire Heroes, there comes a responsibility to relay to the public just how terrible these games are. If just one kid reads my review and avoids playing Nitrobike, it’ll all be worth it. Also, I get lots of free store credit.

Homie Rollerz is one such example of a game with absolutely no redeeming qualities. The characters alone make me want to punch a squirrel. According to the always-reliable Wikipedia, the “Homies” brand consists of a bunch of vending machine figurines which portray campy stereotypes of Mexican and Latino people. Basically, they’re all wearing bling and have sagging jeans. And the women are whores.

At any rate, Homie Rollerz drops these timeless characters into various vehicles (one guy is in a wheelchair) and forces them to race through awful, seizure-inducing racetracks. It’s not just that the racetracks are poorly designed;  the fact that the camera is centered on the back of your car means that the slightest turn left or right rotates the entire landscape. With all the unnecessary twists and turns that the courses offer, you’ll get a headache pretty quickly.

The graphics range from terrible to Lovecraftian. The environments are so blocky, and the framerate and draw distance so inconsistent, you’ll swear you were playing a beta, or even an alpha (is there something earlier than alpha?).  The sound is also terrible. You know how sometimes you’ll pull up to a truck at a red light, and they’ve got their bass beating away with only a faint suggestion of overlying music? That’s what you’ll find here. There’s no voicework or really even sound effects…only horrible, horrible music to go with terrible graphics and offensive characters. It’s the complete package of suck, really.

At least the controls are good, right? Well, no. Aside from the camera problems mentioned above, D-Pad movement is jerky and disorienting. You can use items, but they don’t seem to have much of an effect on your opponents. My favorite (read: least favorite) item is the one that switches you with the kart ahead of you. I imagine Nintendo would have handled this item wonderfully in Mario Kart, but in Homie Rollerz, it leads to crashing into things! You can do tricks involving hopping, leaning, and…hopping off of ramps. These altogether menial tricks award you NOS (nitro), which you can use to boost ahead. But you don’t really, because there’s no feeling of speed, and it’s not like you can ever pass anybody.

That’s another disappointing aspect of Homie Rollerz: its difficulty. It takes a significant amount of re-tries to make it out of last place during any given race. And even then, some courses seemingly cannot be won.  For example, the haunted house course is rife with twists, turns, blind corners, and ill-placed ramps, yet your ‘bot opponents never have any trouble with the course design. They always go for the open lane, and know how to avoid trouble sections. But you? You’re only human. When controlled by human hands, your kart can only turn so sharply, and the draw distance only shows so much.

But wait! Perhaps things are only this difficult when you’re racing with a beginner’s kart. After all, you can…pimp your ride (my English degree just caught fire) by earning Respect, and spending that Respect on new gear for your vehicle such as better tires and engines. Sadly, these customizations have little positive effect on the performance of your kart. In some cases, improvements in one area actually decrease performance in another. The best (and most expensive) parts require an ungodly amount of Respect which would require you to continue playing Homie Rollerz past the five-minute mark, which is not a premise I can encourage.

Homie Rollerz offers up to eight-player single-card download play, but if you don’t have seven friends (like me), ‘bots fill in the blanks. These ‘bots will always win the race – a race that takes several minutes to load on multiple systems. There’s also multi-card play, but having such a feature implies that more than one person will accidentally get Homie Rollerz for their birthday, which, I pray to God in Heaven above, will not happen.

[This is pain you have to experience first-hand to appreciate.]

152

TalkBack / REVIEWS: Spitfire Heroes: Tales of the Royal Air Force

« on: March 26, 2008, 07:19:16 AM »

This is pain you have to experience first-hand to appreciate.
 http://nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=15617

 Picture yourself flying over a vapid, pixelated landscape.  Half of this flatland is green while the other half is blue.  Your mission is to hunt down and destroy enemy tanks, which are slowly rolling their way toward the blue half of the screen. You can’t see the tanks, or really anything at all, until you descend towards the ground.  Suddenly, trees pop into existence. You check your radar, handily displayed on the touch screen.  Look at all of those orange dots!  That’s a lot of tanks!  But…why do the tanks look like trees?  Suddenly, a square of pixels jumps out in front of you.  At a whopping two pixels in height - dwarfed by the foliage - you wonder if it’s a tank.  And so you begin firing, but your shots fly over the top of the pixels. You put your plane’s nose down and begin coasting dangerously close to the ground below.  The tank roars closer, reaching its full, impressive six pixel height. You shoot until the screen says it’s been destroyed, and as you’re cheering, you crash your plane right into the turf.    

This is your first impression of Destineer’s Spitfire Heroes: Tales of the Royal Air Force, and it speaks volumes.  One can make it past this area with determination and a little trial-and-error, but there isn’t much incentive since the experience doesn’t improve from there.  With frustrating gameplay and worse pop-up than the original SNES Star Fox, in Spitfire Heroes war is not hell - it’s just extremely boring and aggravating.    

Controlling your plane is done with the D-Pad. The touch screen displays your plane’s “health” and radar, but isn’t used for much else besides graphical filler.  Use care when easing up on the throttle, because you can stall and, predictably, explode. You can also move the throttle forward to boost (“Fox! Use the boost!”), but doing so decreases your turn radius.  Unfortunately, the side effect of this is that you rarely see your attackers.    

You can perform barrel-rolls (“Fox! Do a barrel roll!”), but they seem to have little effect besides exciting your pursuers.  You’ll see red dots on your radar closing on your position, and soon shots begin to pummel your little fighter with virtually no warning.  No amount of awkward dipping or listing lazily to the left can shake these enemy hot-shots, and barrel-rolling does nothing.  Soon you’re blown out of the sky and gritting your teeth.    

The R button fires your guns while the L button is used to activate auto-targeting, which does little besides making your plane’s movement imprecise and unpredictable.  On one occasion the auto-targeting drove my apparently suicidal pilot directly into the path of an enemy fighter, causing a mid-air collision.  It isn’t very helpful!    

Spitfire Heroes’ gameplay can be confusing and annoying all at once.  For example, on one occasion I destroyed all three fighters I was pitted against by bobbing, weaving, and holding down the fire button.  I noticed six more tanks had spawned, and I destroyed them too.  Mission over!  I won!  But I actually lost, because I took too long and died too often.  I couldn’t recall one of my mission objectives being “don’t get shot down”, but apparently that’s what it took to win a battle back then.    

From a graphical standpoint your plane looks great, but backgrounds are pixelated as are enemy tanks, fighters, and trees.  Explosions are 2D, along with the “particle effects” of your gunfire.  Landscapes are divided neatly into three colors: light blue for the sky, darker blue for the ocean, and green for the land, with a dash of light brown thrown in for sand.    

The underpowered graphics engine also hampers gameplay; a later mission has you protecting an air base against seemingly hundreds of German bombers and their fighter plane escorts.  This is an impossible task given the game’s limited draw distance, and this factor combined with pixelated object models makes firing with accuracy a shot in the dark, so to speak.  Spitfire Heroes’ graphics are underwhelming, to say the least.    

The sound is equally uninspiring.  Aside from the roar of your engines and gunfire, there is no sound.  No music, no real sound effects, no voiceovers, no nothing.  DS gamers expect better, especially this far into the system’s lifespan.    

Spitfire Heroes supports multi-card local wireless play, which isn’t likely to get much use besides commiserating with somebody else that happened to pick up the game.  Your time would be much better spent elsewhere.

Pros:
       

Your plane looks pretty

       Cons:
       

Objects don't appear until you're about to hit them

 

Auto-targeting doesn't target automatically

 

Poor graphics engine gets in the way of gameplay

               Graphics:  3.0
       Pixelated landscapes devoid of detail are disheartening, but then the pop-up of boxy tanks, paper airplanes, and obviously 2D trees cheapen the experience further.  The plane model is clearly where all the graphics work was focused, as it looks nice and detailed.

               Sound:  1.0
       There is no sound. Aside from the “rata-tata” of your guns, there is no sound.

               Control:  4.0
       The control scheme is the high point of this game. The D-Pad works wonders, but moves like barrel-rolling serve little function.  As a bonus, you can speed up AND slow down.  Revolutionary.

                      Gameplay:  3.0
       You’ll play the same level over and over again until you theoretically win, at which point you learn that you’ve actually lost.  Once you clear that level (after much frustration), you get to repeat the process with another near-impossible mission.

 

       Lastability:  1.0
       There is better shovelware than this game.  I don’t really know why you’re reading this review instead of playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

 

       Final:  2.0
       Spitfire Heroes: Tales of the Royal Air Force has frustrating gameplay, nearly non-existent sound and music, and poor graphics that make an already difficult game even harder.  It has a useable control scheme, but that doesn’t save it from being a game that should never grace the screen of your Nintendo DS.      

[A beautiful, competent fighter on the DS? That's un-possible!]

153

TalkBack / REVIEWS: Naruto: Ninja Destiny

« on: March 06, 2008, 07:04:39 AM »

A beautiful, competent fighter on the DS? That's un-possible!
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=15469

 Let’s face it: the DS is lacking when it comes to fighting games. In fact, the only other one I can recall is Ultimate Mortal Kombat. With such thin competion, Tomy didn’t have to put that much effort into Naruto: Ninja Destiny to make an impact, but they did. While it’s no Soulcalibur, Naruto: Ninja Destiny is the ultimate DS fighter released so far. It’s fun, gorgeous, and engaging. What more do you need?    

The game’s two main modes are Story and Arcade. Because I’m in no way familiar with Naruto, I cannot pretend to intelligently review the Story mode’s storyline. I can only assume that it follows the plot of the TV show. Story sequences take place between fights and involve character portraits and scrolling text.  Occasionally these sequences take far too long, although pressing Start will skip them entirely. Interestingly, Story mode does not force you to play through one character’s entire storyline; rather, you play as virtually every character at least once. For example, in one fight you’ll play as a scary-looking dude against a woman. In the very next fight, you’ll be the woman against Naruto! The Story mode is fairly short, but it comes in two difficulty flavors, and you can unlock four characters by playing it.    

Meanwhile, Arcade mode lets you select a single character and proceed to battle a string of other characters with no storyline in between.  Arcade mode goes quickly and you can unlock a lot more characters by playing through it. Additionally, Arcade mode allows you to become familiar with the very divergent fighting styles of all the characters.    

The fighting engine itself is surprisingly robust. You attack with the Y and B buttons, alternating them in different orders to roll out some awesome combos. Each character has his or her own combo strings which you’ll have to discover on your own.  R blocks, and L teleports your fighter behind your opponent—this is great for avoiding getting your ass handed to you, but be aware that your opponents can do it too!  Jumping is performed with the X button, and different attacks can be unleashed while you’re in the air.    

The A button initiates an unblockable super attack. The super attacks are a bit unbalanced; some characters have fairly weak super attacks, but one evil, cheap bastard in particular has a super attack that drains 75% of your health on Hard mode. Super attacks also tend to be unreliable—if your opponent hits you while you are pressing A, the attack will cancel, but your chakra power (see below) will be drained as if the attack was performed.  Fail!    

Chakra power builds throughout the fight, being eventually used for super attacks and teleports. You do not want to abuse the teleporting move, because before you know it you’ll be out of chakra power and your opponent will be shoving his foot up your nose while you helplessly mash the A button. It’s better to block an opponent’s combo attempt (gaining chakra as he attacks), then teleport behind him at the last second and lay down the smack. In fact, once you get the hang of how the chakra meter works, you can start teleporting, attacking, and finishing things off with a super attack, at which point you feel like a total bad-ass.    

The touch screen adds some unique elements to gameplay. At the beginning of every fight, you are randomly assigned six symbols that grant bonuses when you tap them on the bottom screen.  You might receive a stat increase, extra health, or disable your opponent’s ability to use chakra power.  More than just a gimmick, the symbols add a huge element of strategy to each match, forcing you to think ahead and make use of whichever bonuses might ensure a win.  However, once a symbol is used it’s gone for good.  Unfortunately, each new battle brings a random assemblage of symbols; you might get a killer mix in one fight, but then nothing but chakra increases or defense uppers in the next fight. Despite being initially irritating, this random aspect actually forces you to improve your button game so that you don’t rely too heavily on the symbols to win fights.    

Ninja Destiny’s graphics are beautiful. In fact, they’re some of the best to hit the DS.  The fully 3D characters are clean and blacklined (reminiscent of Viewtiful Joe, but with more polish), character models animate smoothly, and the framerate never stutters.  The backgrounds are oddly captivating, resembling out-of-focus landscapes against the focused fighting in the foreground.  Colors are bright, and the particle effects (2D cheats though they may be) are surprisingly impressive. The voice actors from the show lend their talents to the game, albeit in yelping form. There is also some spoken “victory” dialogue, which is always good to hear.    

Naruto: Ninja Destiny features multi-card local wireless play. One can only hope that future iterations of this series will implement single-card download play or - dare I say it - full Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection support.  As it stands, this is one DS game which will be played solo for most of its lifespan.    

Other than the lack of multiplayer options, there isn’t much to complain about in this newest iteration of the Naruto franchise.  More game modes would be nice, and super attacks shouldn’t be so cheap (it’s tough to watch 75% of your health drained by one attack), but these issues aren’t enough to direct gamers away from Naruto: Ninja Destiny. It is truly one of the powerhouse titles on the DS, and everybody should give it a try - especially Naruto fans.

Pros:
       

No expense spared in graphical quality

 

Teleporting aspect adds a great back-and-forth quality to matches

 

Lots of unlockable characters

 

Plenty of variety in fighting styles

       Cons:
       

Super attacks can be cheap

 

Limited wireless play

 

Story mode is hard to follow (but then, I don't watch the TV show)

               Graphics:  9.0
       Smooth, clean, no framerate stutters or jaggies - this game is beautiful! Some character models are less detailed than others, and some of the super attack effects look a bit 2D, but a great job otherwise.

               Sound:  7.0
       Voices from the show are great, and the music is generally good. What’s unfortunate is that the music never changes. Each fight has the same “fight” music, and each story sequence has the same “story” music.  More variety would be appreciated.

               Control:  8.0
       In the heat of battle, it can be easy to forget which shoulder button blocks and which one teleports.  Aside from that, the controls are spot-on.  It would have been great to have an in-game list of everybody’s combo strings, but maybe next time. Super attacks can sometimes be tricky to pull off.

                      Gameplay:  8.0
       Entirely engaging, and only the super attacks “cheapen” the experience. The teleporting adds a level of inventiveness to this fighter, and while I would prefer more traditional special attacks to combo strings, there’s ultimately nothing wrong with the fighting engine. I do wish there was a more robust multiplayer experience, though.

 

       Lastability:  7.0
       Lots of characters to unlock will keep you playing long into the night, although most of the replay is derived from Arcade mode. The lack of single-card download play or Nintendo Wi-Fi functionality shortens the game’s lifespan beyond the unlocking of characters, though.

 

       Final:  8.0
       Naruto: Ninja Destiny is an excellent DS game in terms of its presentation and contribution to the genre. You would be remiss in writing this game off, even if you don’t follow Naruto (like me). If you’re looking for a strong fighting game for your DS, this is by far your best bet.      

[Ye Olde Rail Slasher.]

154

TalkBack / REVIEWS: Dragon Quest Swords: The Masked Queen and the Tower of Mirrors

« on: March 03, 2008, 06:26:34 AM »

Ye Olde Rail Slasher.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=15454

 I don’t know what you’re expecting from Dragon Quest Swords, but if you’re thinking it’s the big-budget RPG shot in the arm that the Wii so desperately needs, put those thoughts to rest right now. Yes, Dragon Quest Swords looks just like Dragon Quest VIII on the PS2. Yes, there is a rudimentary RPG-esque leveling, equipment, and menu system. No, Dragon Quest Swords is not an RPG.  To put it in shocking perspective, I hope you like Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles because it has the same basic concept as Dragon Quest Swords.    

Gameplay consists of embarking on specific, repeatable missions. On these missions your character travels along a rail, pausing only briefly so that you can choose to go either left or right. When enemies are encountered, you swing your Wii Remote through the air in a sword-like manner, slashing foes to kingdom come and blocking their attacks with your shield. At the end of the mission you encounter a boss monster that relies exclusively on patterned attacks.  Defeat the beast and you are given a score, grade, and rank. Your grade determines what bonus items you walk away with.    

That’s basically the whole game. In between missions you wander around your hometown of Avalonia, talking to NPCs and buying new armor and weapons. Because you accrue so much gold during each individual mission, you’ll rarely find the next level of armor or sword outside of your price range. Your sword can be tempered (with the right ingredients) to include an elemental charge. Your shield may break during missions, at which point you can repair it or buy a more resistant shield. Like other Dragon Quest games, mini-medals can be collected and traded for rare items and equipment.    

Controls around town are simple: you hold the Wii Remote upright, interacting with anything highlighted by a red arrow.  In first-person mode your character moves with the D-Pad, utilizing the outdated Resident Evil “tank” scheme. There is no option to plug in the analog stick, and D-Pad movement takes some getting used to. If you don’t like pressing “up” to move forward, you can just press B.  While on missions, you similarly hold B to move forward, but since you’re on a rail I could never figure out why you don’t just move forward automatically.    

The fun begins when beasties litter your path.  You slash the Wii Remote horizontally, vertically, or diagonally to attack incoming creatures.  You can theoretically also perform a stabbing motion, but I was unable to successfully stab anything.  Stabs typically end up registering as slashes, which is problematic since there are encounters in the game specifically geared towards stabbing.    

Pressing B raises your shield, used to guard against physical and projectile attacks. Some projectile attacks (like arrows) can be batted back at the enemy, and you can re-center your sword at any time by pressing A anywhere on the screen.  Advanced “Master Strokes” require preordained motions for extremely damaging attacks which are best saved for boss encounters.  Until you get used to the fast pace of matches, it can be easy to lose track of the cursor on the screen for targeting or blocking.  Battles end as quickly as they begin, sending you back to the on-rails portion of the game.    

Along the way your character recruits three heroic comrades, with one of them at a time coming along on missions with you (unfortunately, there’s no multiplayer element in Dragon Quest Swords, even though it would seem like an obvious addition). Your friends perform cheerleading and spellcasting duties, but also tend to suck up health items. Fortunately, this is balanced by each of them having a unique pool of spells that has new spells added to it as they level up.  You can give your ally some pre-arranged AI commands, or take control of his or her spell pool directly from the menu.    

Leveling up, as well as virtually all item collection, occurs seamlessly in the background.  When you get back to town, however, you are quickly dragged down by the game’s traditional RPG menu system. You have to wade through about ten different menus to buy armor, and then go back and sell what you don’t want anymore. Sword tempering is another needlessly complicated affair. You must pick “temper,” then the sword you want tempered, then what you want it tempered into, then how much it will cost, then what items you have with which to temper it…it’s just a chore.    

The story and characters don’t really keep you interested, either. Right out the gate you know that that mask in question is evil (I’m not ruining anything, folks), and that our heroes will have to confront the demon in the mask.  In typical Dragon Quest fashion, it’s an ancient and pissed-off evil. The plot never diverges from this track, resulting in cinema scenes that soon become tiresome.    

Dragon Quest Swords looks great, however. The aesthetic is that of Dragon Quest VIII, but with more lively color and shading. Individual character models have precious few movements so you’ll see your friends repeat the same motions to no end, but they look good doing it.  Enemies are well-animated with far better textures than their PS2 counterparts. Better yet, all characters have spoken dialogue!  Voices fit their characters most of the time, although some of the boss monsters have voices that are just plain silly. Like Dragon Quest VIII, all of the voice actors are British - some people like the charm, others don’t, but I loved it.    

The parallels with Umbrella Chronicles cannot be ignored. This is a rail shooter in which your gun has been replaced by a sword that can’t stab.  However, Dragon Quest Swords is not nearly as long or as deep as Capcom’s zombie-fest, and the unlockables are nowhere near as satisfying.  One of the strengths of Umbrella Chronicles is that your skills always improve, and you can level up your weapons in a meaningful way.  Here, you’ve mastered the game once you get the hang of swinging your Wii Remote around.  Acquiring bigger swords is nice, but it doesn’t affect gameplay.    

The Dragon Quest atmosphere of Dragon Quest Swords only goes so far before you start itching for some gameplay variety (although the visuals never get old).  Fans of the series should certainly give it a try; but if you don’t count yourself among that niche audience, you should rent before buying since you might beat the game in a weekend.

Pros:
       

Interesting sword-meets-shooter arcade vibe

 

Looks and sounds fantastic

 

There's an element of strategy to enemy encounters

       Cons:
       

Stabbing motions don't register

 

Cliched storyline does nothing to hold your interest

 

Rewards aren't good enough to replay missions

 

Lack of multiplayer is a glaring omission

               Graphics:  8.0
       I cannot fault the character design (despite their limited animations); monsters look fantastic, and the environments manage to be both majestic and, when the situation calls for it, eerie and foreboding. The particle effects are passable but far from mind-blowing.

               Sound:  7.0
       The voice actors are excellent! The sound effects are great too, but there are far too few musical themes. Each mission should have a distinct one, but old tunes are recycled far too often.

               Control:  7.0
       The Resident Evil “tank” controls are unwelcome, and having no option to plug in the analog stick is just mind-boggling.  Wandering around Avalonia is a chore.  Battle sequences fare much better, but the poor registering of stabbing motions is a big problem since certain enemy encounters require stabbing.

                      Gameplay:  6.0
       Some individual missions carry on too long, the rewards for completing missions aren’t very good, and the sword swinging does get old after a while.

 

       Lastability:  6.0
       After you beat Dragon Quest Swords (a task that’s not difficult to achieve), you’ll find that there’s not much reason to go back.  A new difficulty and “new” boss fights do not pique my interest.  And how is there no multiplayer?

 

       Final:  7.0
       Dragon Quest Swords ends up being a fun but ultimately empty experience that gets old after a few hours, making you wish you could play through it with a friend. It’s not bad, but it lacks polish and longevity.  Dragon Quest fans should definitely give it a look, but those looking for a similar experience are best to check out Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles, a longer game with deeper gameplay.      

[Read: Prince of Persia DS.]

155

TalkBack / REVIEWS: Assassin's Creed Altaïr's Chronicles

« on: February 23, 2008, 06:44:17 PM »

Read: Prince of Persia DS.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=15394

 I don’t know if any of you Nintendo-philes have played Assassin’s Creed on PS3 or Xbox 360, but it kicks a lot of ass. You explore an enormous, gorgeous, open world while sneaking through big crowds, hiding from guards, researching marks, and assassinating dudes by stabbing their kidneys in the middle of the street.  You then escape to the rooftops, performing acrobatic leaps that would put an Olympic athlete to shame.  Bringing such an experience to the DS is a tall order, but the folks at GameLoft worked within the limitations of the DS hardware and have, for the most part, succeeded. While there are definitely flaws here and there, Assassin’s Creed: Altair’s Chronicles is a fun platforming romp that is more Prince of Persia than Assassin’s Creed.    

Chronicles is supposedly a prequel to the console game, although it plays out more like a sidestory. You know how Majora’s Mask doesn’t really feel like a sequel to Ocarina of Time, even though it technically is?  There’s a similar feeling here, but that isn’t a negative. White-clothed assassin Altair is out to find the Chalice, an item of great power that could unite the warring factions of the Middle East. En route, Altair faces love and betrayal, old friends and new enemies and…aw, I’m just kidding!  The entire game is Altair looking for the Chalice.  And even though it’s a prequel, it doesn’t have the lead-in to the console game that one would expect. Despite the fact that the story is wafer-thin, the path to the Chalice is an engaging one.    

The gameplay is Prince of Persia, quite frankly; Chronicles is a straight left-to-right side scroller.  However, there are some interesting stealth missions late in the game, requiring you to perform unique tasks such as sabotaging enemy encampments while dressed as one of their own.  The collection aspect of the console game is boiled down to finding blue orbs which can be used to increase your health or upgrade your sword’s strength.    

Most of Altair’s moveset revolves around leaping from rooftop to rooftop, wall-jumping, and balancing on beams. The movement system is handled very fluidly, as you’re really just pressing B and R to move across the cityscapes. The A button interacts with objects, such as breaking pots or moving crates (yes, there are crate puzzles). There are a few instances in which rolling (L Button) is required.  Movement between ladders and other objects can be problematic, as Altair can’t seem to jump away from a ladder towards a platform.  He’ll look there, but he won’t jump there.    

Where the game’s controls truly fall flat, however, is during combat.  Part of the problem is that you just can’t avoid the guards. In the console game, if you walk and don’t cause trouble, guards won’t attack you—you’re just another citizen. In the DS version, guards come flying out of nowhere with your death at the top of their to-do list. The combat itself is shallow (press Y or X! Button mash, kids!), hit detection is questionable, and the counterattacks (which sound cool in theory) don’t work on high-level enemies (they simply counter your counterattack).  Enemies routinely break your blocks, too, leading to more frantic button-mashing.    

Altair eventually acquires new weapons, but few are really effective (bombs are great, but you only get five).  There are a few enemy encounters that require you to use specific button inputs to damage your opponent (similar to God of War), and while these are fun they are few and far between. Otherwise, your opponents will throw cheap unblockable moves your way, archers will skewer you from afar, and you’ll curse your puny sword.  You will come to dislike the combat, but there’s usually no way to avoid it.    

Thankfully, the smooth platforming makes up for it.  Checkpoints are generally well-spaced out and you’ll know what to do next time should you die.  There isn’t much in the way of exploration, but an omnipresent green arrow tells you where to go.  This is helpful because the game’s look and fixed camera often results in your next destination being just off-screen. The platforming isn’t perfect; Altair tends to slip forward a bit when he jumps, which in later levels may cause your untimely demise. Furthermore, getting Altair in position for an interaction (like pulling a lever) is tedious because he’s got to be for the A icon to appear.  But overall, this is quality platforming action.    

The DS’ touch screen comes into play during two minigames. The first is a pickpocket game in which you drag a key out from the back of somebody’s money bag while avoiding the other things in the bag. The other game is a pseudo-rhythm game that has you tapping certain dots on your enemy’s body to “torture” them into giving up information. Both of these games are simplistic but fun, and serve to mix the gameplay up a bit. Otherwise, the lower screen displays a mini-map and your weapon inventory, and tapping a weapon icon will equip it.    

The game looks fantastic, with everything rendered in full 3D.  Character models are basic but well-animated, and parts of the environments even feature special effects.  One memorable scene involves throwing torches into tar pits, and watching the tar (and the guards standing in it) light aflame. The draw distance is very impressive, especially in later levels. Character animations occasionally skip around in corners, but while noticeable, it’s a minor flaw.  Chronicles’ gorgeous graphics come with the caveat of unusually long load times for a DS game, often forcing you to sit through loading that rivals that of its console counterpart; fortunately, all loading taking place between levels so gameplay is never interrupted.    

There are only two or three musical scores which repeat endlessly during each level, meaning that the sound gets tiring after a while. You will learn to hate the “alert” music, which eventually caused me to turn the volume down.    

Overall, Altair’s Chronicles is a fun platformer that ends up feeling more like Prince of Persia DS than Assassin’s Creed. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, as the DS could use more action games like this. Sadly, the adventure lasts about a weekend, and there are no real unlockables after beating the game aside from an extra difficulty mode.  Still, Assassin’s Creed: Altair’s Chronicles is a very fun game if you can get past the muddled combat.

Pros:
       

Very fun platforming

 

Silky smooth control scheme

 

Great 3D landscapes and characters

       Cons:
       

Combat is shallow and frustrating

 

Not enough opportunities to use your alternate weapons

 

Some hit detection oddities

               Graphics:  8.0
       It doesn’t get a whole lot better than this on the DS, but some of the animations are choppy. During heavy platforming sections, especially those with moving platforms, depth perception is your worst foe.

               Sound:  6.0
       I like the ambient noise a lot, but there are too few musical scores, and the “alert” music will drive you to drink.

               Control:  7.0
       The platforming is great, with plenty of fairly complex maneuvers executed easily with very few buttons. Combat should be more engaging, what with all the combos you learn and weapons you pick up, but it’s not.  Enemy tactics are cheap and ruthless and really drag down the combat aspect.

                      Gameplay:  7.0
       The Prince of Persia-esque platforming areas are a lot of fun, but there should have been more of them.  The combat-heavy portions will leave you wondering whether or not you want to keep playing. The touchscreen minigames are a fun diversion.

 

       Lastability:  4.0
       There are no meaningful unlockables.  It would have been nice to start from the beginning with all your combos and weapons from the previous playthrough and go for time, but no such luck.  While a lack of multiplayer is understandable, it only serves to further limit the game’s lifespan.

 

       Final:  7.0
       Altair’s Chronicles is a good game that could use some touching-up in the combat department and a better reward system. It’s not very long, and once you beat it you’re done forever. It’s certainly worth a look if you like Prince of Persia-style action/platformers, but be ready for some frustrating combat segments.      

[Naruto's destiny leads him to the Nintendo DS.]

156

TalkBack / PREVIEWS: Naruto: Ninja Destiny

« on: February 20, 2008, 06:51:21 AM »

Naruto's destiny leads him to the Nintendo DS.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/previewArt.cfm?artid=15374

 Naruto has appeared in video game form for several years, but even if you, like me, have never seen Naruto before, Ninja’s Destiny could be a game to keep your eye on. The characters are fully 3D, crisp, with sharp character models and particle effects. It will feature a single-player story mode, a versus mode, and local wireless fights.    

Like most fighting games, your goal is to punch, kick, and combo your opponent into submission, but Ninja Destiny adds the Touch Screen as an additional level of input. Touching various icons will activate a health increase, activate a power increase, keep your opponent from unleashing certain moves, etc. Each character has between 8 and 10 combo maneuvers which the player must discover and memorize to annihilate the competition as quickly as possible. Each character also has a specific super-move. Ninja Destiny will feature sixteen characters, nine of which are unlocked, including Naruto (duh), Sasuke, Gaara, Neji, Might Guy, Rock, Sakura, Shikamaru, Itachi, and Nine-Tailed Naruto. The game’s storyline (which does not catch up to the Japanese anime run) is told through static image based cut scenes between each battle.    

The American version of Ninja Destiny is also improved over its Japanese counterpart, and includes a larger character roster, more arenas, and an improved frame rate.    

Naruto: Ninja Destiny is set to release on Feb. 26th.

[Ubisoft and GameLoft make a killing on the Nintendo DS.]

157

TalkBack / PREVIEWS: Assassin's Creed Altaïr's Chronicles

« on: February 15, 2008, 12:27:28 PM »

Ubisoft and GameLoft make a killing on the Nintendo DS.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/previewArt.cfm?artid=15317

 Those of you with PS3's and Xbox 360's may have already experienced  Assassin's Creed. Nintendo aficionados have not been forgotten entirely, however. GameLoft, the developer who helmed the DS version of Brothers in Arms, has taken the reins of this newest franchise for another handheld conversion. Altair's Chronicles is a Prince of Persia-style platformer which tells Altair's back story from before the events of the console game. Our white-cloaked hero is after the Chalice, a mysterious object that promises to unite the warring factions of the Fertile Crescent. In order to do that, though, Altair will battle countless Templar knights, scale impressive cityscapes, and disguise himself as the enemy to sneak through encampments.    

In the graphics department, the game offers up fully 3D worlds and characters. Instead of the sandbox format of its console brethren, Altair's Chronicle is a far more linear platformer divided into separate levels. Story sequences are generally told in-game. Altair is able to pull off a huge variety of acrobatics as well as fairly complex battle maneuvers involving multiple weapon types. The touch screen is mostly used as a mini-map, although its unique qualities find its way into the gameplay via interesting pickpocket and interrogation minigames.    

Assassin's Creed: Altair's Chronicle certainly looks the part and features many of the gameplay elements seen in its console counterpart. It's available now and NWR will have a review up shortly.

[Point, click, repeat.]

158

TalkBack / REVIEWS: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Hard Evidence

« on: February 05, 2008, 06:05:21 PM »

Point, click, repeat.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=15231

 I have never seen CSI.  I’ve watched CSI: Miami with middling interest, but I was fairly confident that the original series wouldn’t present much of a break from the formula. I figured my not being familiar with the cast and crew of CSI might hinder my experience with CSI: Hard Evidence, so I invited my friend Marcus over, because he's a fan of the show.  I figured he’d be able to offer valuable information such as whether or not the in-game character models look like their real-world counterparts, or whether or not the actors from the show lent their voices to the game.    

Ultimately, those questions proved unimportant. The mindless tedium of CSI: Hard Evidence awoke in me a nameless terror, even as Marcus seemed vaguely interested. Yet every time I tried to hand him the Wii Remote, he declined, telling me that it was more fun to watch me writhe in pain than himself partake. Before long, Marcus’ brother Nelson came over.  After watching me point, click, and navigate menus for the next fifteen minutes, he remarked that he’s never felt such anger, such hostility, towards a game. I concurred, turned off the Wii, and heaved a sigh of heavy relief.    

CSI: Hard Evidence is essentially a series of menus with the occasional point‘n’click environmental interface thrown in for good measure. You are thrust into the role of a rookie CSI officer, who oddly enough doesn’t have hands or arms. The only way your presence is even felt is through a disembodied and ever-changing icon which you move around the screen via the Wii Remote. When the icon turns green, click the A button to zoom in.  Press A again to go to a menu, then press A to select an item, then press A to use the item, then…do you see where this is going?    

You travel to different locations by selecting them from a menu. While on location, you can “interact” with things that make the cursor turn green. You can run evidence through computers via more menus, resulting in tedious “one of these things is not like the other” comparison tests. Then you press B to zoom back out. When you’ve acquired enough evidence against somebody you can bring them in for questioning, but this is not a deep questioning system a la Grim Fandango, Jade Empire, or Mass Effect. You can only ask one question at a time, and the person will always answer; it’s as if the suspect’s speech is continually being paused, and you have to press play over and over again.  This is, in essence, just another form of menu navigation. After solving the case you are given a grade based on how much hand-holding you required (and unless you’re a retarded rhesus macaque, you won’t need any help).    

According to Marcus, the character models are somewhat accurate, but they are low-grade PS2 quality. As evidenced by titles like God of War 2 and Tomb Raider: Anniversary, facial animation can look pretty good when a developer puts some effort into it.  CSI: Hard Evidence gives us blocky faces and forced, exaggerated animations.  On the other hand, the environments look much better.  Characters are also voiced by their real-life counterparts, lending some credibility to the game.    There are five cases to solve, but it’s doubtful that most players will make it that far.  Marcus didn’t think that the game tied into the show’s storyline in any meaningful way. I’d rather watch CSI: Miami and laugh at David Caruso’s overacting then be forced through more of this shovelware. If you want a good point‘n’click adventure, play Myst or Shivers.

Pros:
       

Actors from the show lend their voices to the game

 

They lend their likeness too, although the resemblance is occasionally questionable

 

Control schemes don't get much easier

       Cons:
       

Mind-numbingly boring

 

I hope you like menus!

 

I hope you like pointing and clicking!

               Graphics:  6.0
       Environments look good, but the character models are mostly primitive.  When Nelson walked through the door, he said, “Is that supposed to be Stokes?”  He summed it up well.

               Sound:  4.0
       Eerie silence, save for voices from the show.  The script is awful and never funny. Even the light-hearted training mission fails to be tongue-in-cheek during the interrogation.

               Control: 10.0
       Point! Click! All with the revolutionary new Wii Remote! It’s like a cordless mouse!

                      Gameplay:  3.0
       Did I mention that the entire game consists of pointing, clicking, and menu navigation?

 

       Lastability:  2.0
       You will hate this game after fifteen minutes. Do not play it.

 

       Final:  2.5
       I give credit to the environments and the real actors’ voices, but other than that, this game is a wasted endeavor. Even if you’re a hardcore CSI fan, you’d get more enjoyment out of watching the same episode on TV over and over again.      

[It's EXTREME-ly...boring.]

159

TalkBack / REVIEWS: Nitrobike

« on: February 04, 2008, 07:08:33 PM »

It's EXTREME-ly...boring.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=15221

 I was kind of psyched when Ubisoft’s Nitrobike arrived in my mailbox. I still like the original NES Excitebike, and Excitebike 64 left me with fond memories. I was more excited to learn that Left Field Studios, the guys who made the latter, had developed Nitrobike. It was with weighty anticipation that I popped the disk into my Wii, grabbed a bag of popcorn, and let the fun begin. Oh, but life, that cruel mistress, rewarded my heady enthusiasm with callus indifference, forcing me to endure a game so basic, generic, and limited that I felt like I was being punished. Nitrobike is not Excitebike.    

The game is bland in ways which you will not fully appreciate without playing it firsthand. The post-apocalyptic setting is nothing new, the characters look beyond horrible (is that a woman or Marilyn Manson?), and the bikes are all exactly the same, except for different paint jobs and stats. The environments include junkyards, post-apocalyptic junkyards, forests, and snowy courses. Aside from the snow course, all of the racetracks are dark and impersonal. Trash litters the sides of the raceways, begging you to run into it. The courses themselves feature a good amount of twists and turns, but shortcuts are markedly limited or absent given that you’re strongly encouraged to stay on the designated path.    

At least the controls aren’t awful. Much like the far superior ExciteTruck, players hold the Wii Remote NES-style. You turn your bike like you’d turn a steering wheel, and you can tip the Remote back to raise your bike’s front tire during jumps. 2 is gas, 1 is brake, and pressing the D-pad activates the boost. Turning feels overly sensitive, making it very easy to over-correct. If you boost for too long, you explode. After hitting a good-sized jump (there aren’t many), you can press a simple sequence of D-pad directions to activate an incredibly dull trick. If you successfully perform four tricks without crashing, your boost meter will max out. This would be more useful if racetracks featured more straightaways. As it stands, you boost into a corner, brake, find your line, then boost out of it…then you hit another corner. While boosting is definitely integral to winning races, the course design doesn’t exactly encourage it.    

Multiplayer is present in the form of local split-screen and Wi-Fi. This was my first Wi-Fi game, and I was disappointed to find that nobody on the planet wanted to play with me. I blame the apparatus, though. There are only two ways of getting into a game: Friend Codes (yippee) or game hosting. To host a game, you must select the type of game and a distinct number of opponents. If the stars align, you will connect with somebody else who is looking for the same variables and is not already involved in a game. You cannot join a game already in progress. and there is no centralized lobby. I found one other player to race with in the fifteen minutes I tried to connect with people. The entire race lasted three minutes. Offline, multiplayer is fun because you and a friend are both boosting into corners and being forced to break. You can choose a number of bots to race with, too, which is kind of cool. Of course, there are MUCH better multiplayer offerings out there (like ExciteTruck), so my buddies and I quickly found something better to play.    

Single-player is split into Career and Exhibition. Exhibition is basically Quick Play, in that you choose a course and the number of bots to race against (if any). I suppose Exhibition is good for learning the twists and turns of a particular course, but Career mode is where the meat is. This solo campaign pigeonholes you into completing various challenges (like time trials, races, and variations on those two themes) which you must complete in order. The very first race will have you cursing like a sailor. A loading screen that says you must earn gold medals in all of the challenges in order to unlock everyting is so disheartening!    

Comparing Nitrobike to ExciteTruck is unavoidable, what with the exact same control scheme and the name's obvious derivation from Excitebike. ExciteTruck is the better game by far: it features some awesome course design, encourages shortcut-finding, has several-hundred-foot jumps, an old-school arcade feel, and above all, personality. Nitrobike has none of these things. If you veer off the beaten path for even a second, a message appears: "Get back on the track!" If you don’t immediately obey, the computer will reposition you itself. Exploration isn’t tolerated. What's more, course designs are limiting and don’t really take advantage of the "Nitro" in Nitrobike. But worst of all, the game’s generic characters and setting rob it of any personality. Nitrobike is not extreme—it’s just boring.    

Avoid it, dear readers. Go buy ExciteTruck instead.

Pros:
       

Tilt-motion control is kind of cool

 

Supports Nintendo Wi-Fi

 

Some interesting Career challenges

       Cons:
       

Tilt-motion control is a bit too sensitive

 

Wi-Fi support is meager and flawed

 

What do we not want to be? G-E-N-E-R-I-C!!!

               Graphics:  5.0
       The explosions look good, but the environments are cluttered and poorly textured. Everything is dark, the character models look awful, and the bikes are all the same. This game looks worse than most Wii launch games.

               Sound:  4.0
       Your bike sounds like a bike, and the nitro boost sounds like a nitro boost! I guess that counts for something. However, the music is a painful sort of death metal. A voiceover announcer would have livened up the bland atmosphere.

               Control:  7.0
       Did you play ExciteTruck? It’s the same, only with more finicky tilt controls.

                      Gameplay:  6.0
       The physics engine seems a little off, and there aren’t enough huge jumps or straight-aways to take advantage of nitro boosts. On the other hand, some of the Career challenges are interesting, and there’s a bowling mini-game. Neither are anything to write home about, but they're, you know, there. It's fun to play with your buddies until you realize that you could be playing something better.

 

       Lastability:  4.0
       The finicky controls, steep learning curve, and unforgiving career opposition will keep you motivated to find your copy of ExciteTruck as quickly as possible.

 

       Final:  5.0
       There are much, much better games out there. If you still have an N64, try Excitebike 64. If not, go play ExciteTruck. If you have an NES, e-Reader, or access to the Virtual Console, play Excitebike. The bottom line is that I found an ancient NES game more fun than Nitrobike. You should not spend money on it.      

[I need an old priest and a young priest!]

160

TalkBack / REVIEWS: Dementium: The Ward

« on: January 17, 2008, 01:06:34 PM »

I need an old priest and a young priest!
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=15139

 Dementium is kind of a landmark for publisher Gamecock—it's the new company's first game. It is also developer Renegade Kid's first solo effort, so a lot is riding on Dementium: The Ward. This first-person shooter takes its cues from Doom 3 and Silent Hill, but fails to live up to the lofty scares of the former and psychological terror of the latter. This is not to say that Dementium is not a good game on its own, because it is, but if Renegade Kid ever delivers a sequel, there are definitely some areas they need to improve.    

Dementium thrusts you into blood-splattered hallways right off the bat. There is no back-story. In fact, the plot is weak overall, but that's not why you're playing the game. Dementium is all about sneaking around in the dark, finding keys of various kinds, and killing monsters. Plot progression comes about via notes, memos (a survival-horror staple), and flashback-type cut-scenes.    

The control scheme is lifted directly from Metroid Prime: Hunters, although you have fewer options. The touch screen is where you can access the map, your inventory, your various weapons, and the notepad. You can scrawl notes for yourself on the notepad with the stylus, and this features comes in very handy while you're trying to solve a puzzle. I wish I could've done that on the PSP when I was playing Silent Hill: Origins. Unfortunately, you cannot scribble on the map, which is disappointing because the map only shows convoluted and far-too-complex hallways and which doors are locked or unlocked. If furniture is blocking a path or you need a key to enter a particular door, the map does not display that. Thus, some aimless wandering is inevitable. Aiming seems a little too loose, and melee attacks don't result in any pushback, so the combat could use some polish. Luckily, larger enemies (including bosses) tend to have weak points that are easy to exploit. Health and ammo litter the halls and closets of the sanitarium you wander through. The game's only real stumbling block is that if you die, you have to start from the beginning of that level. The lack of auto-saving, save points, or automatic checkpoints, which are a staple of just about any modern game I can think of (especially shooters), is baffling and leads to bouts of frustration.    

Let's talk about the aesthetic, always an important feature of a horror game. Happily, Dementium does manage to convey a sense of foreboding through its skillful use of darkness and ambient sound. The electricity is out, so you can only see a few feet in front of you. As the darkness recedes, and you strain to make out what's right in front of you, and some weird baby sounds are coming from around the corner, there's some apprehension. The really cool thing is that you have a flashlight that works exactly like it does in Doom 3. It illuminates the area you point at, making wandering a bit more enjoyable. It's also impressive as a graphical feat, and I can't tell whether there's an actual lighting engine at work here, but it sure looks nice. While Dementium doesn't rise to the paranoia high that the Silent Hill series evokes, it works for the hardware it's on. I wish that the landscape changed more often, but because you're just wandering through one giant hospital, things tend to bleed together quickly. How many closets and nurses stations can one medical facility have? I do like the bloodstains, scattered furniture, and general look of disrepair, however. And to be fair, there are occasional changes in scenery, but about 90% of your visit to The Ward will be in what amounts to a series of interconnected hallways.    

Enemy design is fairly standard for this genre, although the boss creatures are fairly imaginative. Character models are sharp and animate well, as their movements are smooth and not sporadic. I wish there had been some more man-sized normal enemies, and to tell you the truth, there are only three proper boss monsters in the game, two of which repeat (flashback to Metroid Prime: Hunters). The sound is more effective than the graphics in perpetuating the fear vibe. All of the creatures have distinct voices, and the little touches like your character's heartbeat and rain on the windows go surprisingly far in establishing the mood. There is a musical score, but it blends into the background very quickly.    

At the end of the day, your enjoyment of Dementium will depend heavily on whether you like survival horror games with a first-person shooter element. The game certainly has some flaws (like the loose aiming and overly complex map), and I find it hard to forgive the "die and start over again" philosophy, but Dementium is definitely something different, and it's something I think people will generally enjoy.

Pros:
       

The best survival-horror-shooter on the DS

 

Conveys the horror vibe very well

 

Essentially a mouse-and-keyboard control scheme

 

Awesome flashlight effects

       Cons:
       

No mid-level saves or checkpoints

 

Too few enemy types and repeated boss monsters

 

Can't make notes on the map

               Graphics:  8.0
       Clean, smooth, and no slowdown in sight. The colors are a little muted and the hospital setting gets a little old, but it's good-looking for what it is.

               Sound:  8.0
       Rain on the windows, ambient noises, and creature sounds will have you on your toes more than you'd think. Boss battle music is kind of silly, and I wish there was some voicework, but the sound certainly gets the job done well.

               Control:  7.0
       The aiming is too loose, and running isn't much better than walking. And in a game like this, there really needs to be a button combo to make your character spin 180 degrees. They used it in REmake and RE4, and I wish it were in this game. Still, the Hunters control scheme is essentially flawless for the DS, giving gamers a PC setup on a handheld.

                      Gameplay:  7.0
       There is too much aimless wandering and key-hunting. Respawning enemies mar the overall experience, too. Despite the genre clichés, however, Dementium is fun and manages to feel different. The notepad is a great idea, too, and it makes what would be tedious puzzles feel more natural.

 

       Lastability:  6.0
       No unlockables and no Wi-Fi play or even local multiplayer  shorten the lifespan of what's otherwise an engaging game. There's no reason to go back once you've beaten it though, unless you just want to relive the experience.

 

       Final:  7.0
       Dementium: The Ward is a strong first-person shooter experience with a great horror theme. True, some bizarre design decisions will frustrate, but overall it's a fine game. Can Renegade Kid improve on the sequel? Sure. Should this stop you from at least trying Dementium out? No freakin' way.      

[And you thought Godzilla's Revenge was bad.]

161

TalkBack / REVIEWS: Godzilla: Unleashed

« on: December 14, 2007, 12:43:31 PM »

And you thought Godzilla's Revenge was bad.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=14990

 When I previewed Godzilla: Unleashed a few months ago, I was genuinely excited. Back when it was originally released, Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters Melee (DAMM) rocked my GameCube. It was a simplistic brawler, sure, but Pipeworks really did justice to Toho's rubber suit franchise, and the game channeled that old Neo Geo classic, King of the Monsters. Then Godzilla: Save the Earth came out for the PS2, and while it was basically the same game with a bigger character roster, it added bland “missions" to the fights. For awhile there, it looked like Unleashed, a former Wii exclusive (now also on the PS2), would combine the fighting with some purposeful environmental destruction. But most importantly, players would punch and kick their way to victory using motion controls. I just played the game for several hours, and although it hurts me to say this, Godzilla: Unleashed sucks!    

I almost suspect that Atari sent me a beta copy, because I just can't believe that the final game is this unpolished.  Unfortunately, it's not a beta copy.  Right off the bat, you'll notice that the graphics are far worse than DAMM. I'm not sure how this is possible, but the clean, sharp models of that GC original are now fuzzy, poorly textured, and don't animate smoothly. The environments look worlds worse than the monsters, though. I don't know about you, but I thought that the word “blocky" went out with the N64. Buildings don't crumble—they sink into the ground. The water effects look great—until you set foot in the water. Godzilla weighs between 20 and 60,000 tons (depending on which series you're watching), but he doesn't splash. You heard that right—there are some pixilated water drops, but no splash. Some of the monster energy weapons look pretty swanky, but the manner in which they're activated is so horrifying (I'll get to that in a minute) that you'll never use them. The game's cutscenes are told through poorly-drawn slides. This wouldn't bug me on the DS, but it's unacceptable on the Wii.    

I don't think the motion controls could've been any worse. In DAMM, the various punches and kicks were activated by pressing A or B and a direction on the stick, as in Smash Bros. Not here. In Unleashed, you start swinging the Remote in a certain direction, then press and hold A (or B) halfway through and pray that the game registers your movement. More often than not, your beastie will just stand there. Sometimes, he'll do a regular punch instead of a motion-activated punch. Once in a very great while, Godzilla will do the uppercut you asked him to do. And it doesn't stop there. You're forced to deal with motion controls for throwing, jumping, flying, charging, and special attacks. And because the sensitivity is so awful, your monster will get his ass handed to him while you're busy swinging your arms like a freaking orangutan.    

The HUD is confusing. You must manually charge your beam weapon, and then weep as you notice that stuff other than beam attacks requires beam energy. And when you try to use the beam weapon itself, half the time it won't work. The other half, it will work, but you have to twist and angle the Wii Remote to aim it, rather than use the Control Stick. There are big crystals around each cityscape, and they have different effects on the gameplay. Destroying bright blue crystals gives you some HP, while yellow ones give you beam energy.  Destroying enough giant crystals will put you into "Critical Mass," in which your defense goes down, but your offense goes up! Critical Mass also "costs" one HP tank, and the military will begin attacking you. What fun! Finally, depending on your actions during a given level, you will gain or lose face with the different monster "factions", which doesn't have any consequence whatsoever as far as I can tell.    

I've failed to mention the awful heavy metal music that pollutes the menu screens and monsters battles. I've never understood why, even though the series has Toho's blessing, the main Godzilla theme is never used in any of the recent Godzilla brawlers. All of the monsters have their trademark roars intact, but their SKREEEONKS and CHEE-CHEE-CHEES seem really quiet compared to the thumps of battle and ambient music. I gotta say, though, it was a kick to hear MOGUERA for the first time since Godzilla vs. Spacegodzilla.    

The game has two selling points. Although poorly rendered, virtually all of the Godzilla series monsters are here, and their trademark roars have been kept intact. And when I say all of them, I mean it. Biollante and Varan are in this game! Unfortunately, they must all be purchased with points that you earn by completing missions in the Story mode, which is a painful experience. This is also how you unlock concept art and movies. Ideally, a player would go through the Story mode with each monster, but since fights just aren't winnable thanks to the hideous motion controls, you might never beat Story mode the first time!    

Ultimately, Godzilla: Unleashed is just awful. Even the biggest Godzilla fans among us should not have to suffer through this piece of trash. Watch the movies or just play DAMM. You'll have a much better time.

Pros:
       

Virtually all of the Godzilla monsters are included!

       Cons:
       

Graphics are terrible, especially the environments

 

Motion controls are unforgivably bad

 

Opponents are cheap, preying on your inability to attack

               Graphics:  4.0
       The monsters are well-represented, but they sure don't look good. The textures are fuzzy, the environments are unfinished, and your giant monster doesn't even make a splash when he hits the water.

               Sound:  4.0
       The only saving grace is that the monster sounds, while quieter than they should be, are faithfully reproduced by the game. The music is appallingly bad.

               Control:  3.0
       Let me use my GameCube controller, please!

                      Gameplay:  5.0
       The crystals add a hint of strategy to each match (throw your opponent into crystals to force them into Critical Mass, thus infuriating the military), but the missions are tedious, and the fighting engine hasn't evolved at all since DAMM. The new moves, like charging and super attacks, are poorly implemented and barely useful.

 

       Lastability:  3.0
       There is so much stuff to unlock! New monsters! Artwork! Videos! It's a shame that you have to play the game to unlock it all.

 

       Final:  4.0
       I'm incredibly disappointed because Godzilla: Unleashed had so much promise! I'm not sure whether it was rushed out the door or just phoned in, but overall this is a terrible game. You would have much more fun with the other two Godzilla brawlers (DAMM is the better than Save the Earth), and there is simply no reason to suffer through Unleashed.      

[Once more unto the breach, dear Jem'Hadar!]

162

TalkBack / REVIEWS: Star Trek: Conquest

« on: December 11, 2007, 01:17:50 PM »

Once more unto the breach, dear Jem'Hadar!
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=14972

 Star Trek: Conquest is difficult to describe without actually playing it, but I’ll do my best. First of all, it is not a port of Star Trek: Legacy, which I first thought it was. Second, it’s not so much a video game as a board game. Neither of these facts should keep you from playing the game, though, as it’s quite good. At its core, Conquest is a bare-bones turn-based strategy game with a Star Trek license slapped on. You spend the game building fleets, resource structures, and special weapons while defending your territory and overtaking enemy systems on a large map.    

At the game’s outset, you choose which of six Star Trek factions you want to be, and how many factions you want as your enemies. Conquest then generates a board, throws you some money to start, and says "sink or swim!" Unfortunately, there is no tutorial, which I found vexing. Now, I did eventually find that the game is incredibly simple, but it took me a few tries to really get into it. A tutorial would help new players get accustomed to the turn-based game flow. Each faction has its own strengths and weaknesses, but the gameplay for each is exactly the same. During your turn, you may choose to build structures or ships, recruit new admirals, or build a special weapon. There are only three types of structures: star bases, mining colonies, and research facilities. If your system does not have a star base, you cannot build ships or repair your existing fleet, and every system can have a star base. But you must choose between a mining colony and a research facility for each system (try to balance them out). The more mining colonies you have, the more money you earn per turn, thus allowing you to recruit more admirals, build more ships, and upgrade your star bases. The more research facilities you have, the better your access to special weapons and fleet upgrades (like better defenses or lowered costs).    

In addition, your admirals (there are only three per faction) and thus, their fleets, all have a different attribute bonus. Among the Federation, for instance, there is a defense admiral, attack admiral, and movement admiral. If you build three fleets, you will have a very well-balanced team. Each admiral gets control of seven ships, and each ship serving under a certain admiral will get that attribute bonus. Don’t worry—the instruction booklet and I make this game sound more complex than it really is.    

At any rate, the whole point of Star Trek: Conquest is to expand your faction’s rule to extend to every corner of the map. You can only see as far as your sensors allow, so most of the board is invisible until you start overtaking star systems. To do so, you merely order one of your fleets to attack a system (the more stars a system has, the tougher it is to overtake). Early in the game, you will be fighting with "neutral" races like the Ferengi and the Borg. The challenge really begins when you start entering systems controlled by your enemies, at which point you must contend with not only enemy fleets but also their heavily-fortified structures.    

Battles are controlled either by the computer or by your hand. When entering a battle, you can choose either "Sim" or Arcade mode. Like its name suggests, Sim mode is carried out by the computer, and although you can choose an offensive, defensive, or neutral strategy for your team, the battle is not really in your hands. Sim mode is useful for battles that you know you can win, thus saving you time. Arcade mode, though, is very fun. You actually take control of your fleet (one ship at a time, toggled with the + Button), flying through space and firing all manner of photon torpedoes and phasers at attacking ships and enemy structures. Control is very simple—hold Z to move faster, and press A or B to fire your primary and secondary weapons. What impresses me most with the Arcade battles is, oddly enough, the shield system. Just like in the Star Trek universe, ships have varying degrees of shield strength before you can start pummeling their hulls. The largest ships and structures have three tiers of shields, but they are very slow and open to attack. The smaller ships have only one shield tier, but are quick and agile. Whether in Sim or Arcade fights, you can always choose to retreat, thus saving an admiral.    

Admirals gain experience with each enemy structure (or ship) defeated, and their attribute bonuses rise accordingly. In addition, after about nine or ten turns of planting research facilities, you’ll be getting access to upgrades and special weapons virtually every turn. Happily, special weapons are free and can be built whenever your research points allow. There are all sorts of special weapons, and they all have different effects on the map. One allows warping between any two spaces on the board, one decimates an enemy system, one disallows attribute bonuses in a specific system, etc. A single game takes a pretty long time, because the map layout is enormous, but it’s never boring.    

I have very few criticisms of the title. First and foremost, though, the Star Trek license isn’t really taken advantage of. Sure, the ship designs all conform to their respective factions, but there are no species-specific names. Instead of calling a small Federation ship a "runabout," it’s called a "scout," just like the small Cardassian, Klingon, and Jem’Hadar ships. Also, of the six factions you can play as, only a few are actually worthwhile. The Jem’Hadar are overpowered, the Romulans are underpowered, and the Federation is most obviously balanced. Also, one of the playable races is the Breen. Seriously? The Breen? I’m a Star Trek nut, and I didn’t even remember who the Breen are. (They’re the guys who look like Princess Leia’s mask at the beginning of Return of the Jedi.) Also, there’s some voiceover during the battle sequences, but each species only have five or six distinct lines, which they repeat, ad nauseam, for the entire battle. And why is there a female voice for the Jem’Hadar? None of my Vorta admirals are female, and I don’t remember any female Dominion troopers on Deep Space Nine! Also, the Federation admirals are no-name captains who had one-shot, supporting parts in past episodes. There is no Sisko or Picard. Instead we get Admiral "Weren’t You in the Matrix?" and Admiral "I Think You Defected on Next Generation." The other species have better luck. General Martok is a Klingon admiral, and Vorta Weyoun commands a Jem’Hadar fleet. My only other real complaints are that there’s no tutorial, and multiplayer is entirely absent. I’m not really sure how two players could play on a single screen without giving away each-other’s positions, though.    

It’s a good game overall, especially for people who like strategy games but aren’t very fond of the frantic pace that something like Starcraft brings to the table. Conquest also lacks the complexity of a tabletop trading card game or series-based board game, which is fine by me. And there are plenty of reasons to keep playing: by completing the campaign mode as each faction, you will unlock a neutral faction for the one-shot "Skirmish" mode (which is basically a fast-paced version of the main game). Star Trek: Conquest isn’t for everyone, but I found it to be very fun.

Pros:
       

Simplistic strategy game that doesn't bog you down in micromanagement

 

Star Trek universe provides an interesting backdrop

 

Awesome unlockable races

       Cons:
       

May be too slow moving for some strategy fans

 

Star Trek license used in a half-assed sort of way

 

No multiplayer or tutorial options

               Graphics:  7.0
       Ship models are distinct but pretty basic on the map, and that map is anything but exciting. The arcade mode backgrounds, though, are quite detailed. In fact, there are times where they are too detailed when you include all the moving objects, at which point the slowdown can be pretty staggering. Still, the designs are true to the source material, and all the ships look pretty awesome in arcade mode.

               Sound:  4.5
       There’s music, but you’ll barely notice it. The sounds of individual ships and weapons fire during battles is drowned out by your obnoxious screaming admirals.

               Control:  8.0
       Very simple and intuitive. It’s a point-and-click interface, really. During arcade sequences, you aim your shots by pointing at your enemy, and learning to lead your shots can take some practice.

                      Gameplay:  8.0
       Turn-based strategy with some simplistic resource management? I love it!

 

       Lastability:  7.0
       A single game can last for hours, and the unlockables will have you beating the game as every race, if only to play as the Borg!

 

       Final:  8.0
       I wish more had been done with the license, but Conquest is a perfectly competent game, if a bit simplistic. The slower pace lends itself to a feeling of control on the part of the player, and the action really ramps up during arcade battles. And there’s no sweeter feeling than when you knock out those stupid Klingons with your Genesis device, then throw your most powerful fleet at the survivors.      

[House of the...Biohazard?]

163

TalkBack / REVIEWS: Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles

« on: December 03, 2007, 09:51:00 AM »

House of the...Biohazard?
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=14923

 While the Wii might not be getting Resident Evil 5, Capcom was kind enough to produce an exclusive game for us Nintendo gamers. That game is Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles, which encapsulates the early storylines of the series and throws in a new one for good measure. The game is basically a rail shooter, and the horror atmosphere inevitably leads to comparisons with the House of the Dead series…which Umbrella Chronicles is clearly inspired by. Capcom, however, has done an admirable job in making RE: UC a fun, surprisingly deep adventure that will please not just fans of the series, but Wii owners looking for the next great action title. Umbrella Chronicles includes various areas from Resident Evil Zero, Resident Evil (the GameCube remake), and Resident Evil 3, as well as several bonus missions and a new "chapter" in the RE saga. At the game’s outset, you select a character, your subweapon, and which stage you want to tackle. Then it’s off to the rails!    

For those unfamiliar with "on-rails" shooter games, the basic idea is that you do not control the movement of your character, aside from some limited "looking around." Rather, you are in complete control of the character's gun and grenades while undead beasties and biological weapons attack at every corner. Umbrella Chronicles makes great use of the Wii Remote, although pressing B instead of A to fire your gun takes a bit of getting used to after playing Metroid Prime 3. Umbrella Chronicles expands Resident Evil 4’s action and dodge mechanics. Pressing A while the target is over various shiny things will result in you unlocking new guns or files that further the plot. Boss fights are a combination of good aiming and quick reflexes (think about the Krauser knife fight in RE4).    

Each stage is divided into two not-necessarily-equal parts, and the halfway point is auto-saved, so when the stages start getting a bit long in the tooth (as they do late in the game), you can take a break and continue later. After finishing a stage, you are ranked from S to D, based on various criteria, and are awarded a certain number of stars that you can use to upgrade your guns.    

Umbrella Chronicles puts an enormous emphasis on shot accuracy. Each enemy in the game has a specific weak point, and you should try to shoot it for massive damage. That weak point is generally somewhere on the head, although there are a few enemies (like Leech Mimics) that either don’t have a weak point, or it’s just hard to find. Grenades are good for clearing out a big group of undead, but I found aiming to be a little tricky—your grenades will bounce farther than you think they will. And like most other RE games, it takes a quite a few shots to down a shambling zombie if you’re not right on the mark. The different guns generally fall into three classes: handguns, machine guns, and shotguns. There are some specialty weapons, like revolvers and a grenade launcher, but I didn’t find them to be worth the trouble, especially given their low ammo capacity.  The game stays amazingly true to the RE games, and each boss fight is a memorable experience (although some go on for too long). You’ll battle such famous creatures as the giant scorpion (RE0), Tyrant (RE1), and the Gravedigger (RE3). The bonus missions add new bosses to the series and fill in some of the plot holes that have dogged the storyline (like how Rebecca got into the mansion). Sadly, other plot holes inevitably open up. It’s kind of cool that your character and your partner talk to each other throughout each stage, so there’s a real feeling of immersion—you only know as much as the characters do. Shooting various environmental objects will often net you Umbrella Files that you can read from the main menu.    

Co-op is where the game really shines. Get two Wii Remotes, two Nunchuks, and a buddy and go nuts! The game doesn’t throw extra enemies at two players, so team efforts are a little easier than the solo game, which can, at times, be quite difficult. Boss fights become a little bit too easy sometimes, when one player is knocking the boss away while the other player constantly fires at its weak spot, but that’s why it’s fun, too. If you don’t have any friends, you can cheat and duel-wield, which is a whole different kind of fun (although a little tricky).    

Now, there are some complaints to be had. First and foremost, RE2 is not included in the game. Neither is RE4, but we just played through the Wii version of that game, didn’t we? At any rate, the omission of RE2 segments is unusual to say the least. Another complaint is that many enemies have extremely small weak points. For example, in order to blow the head off a zombie, you have to shoot it right at the top of the forehead. That becomes difficult when the shambling undead lurch, dip, and stumble at every turn. Once you get the hang of finding that weak spot, it’s actually much easier to stay "on target," but the learning curve for weak points is severe.    

Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles is a real treat, and I can’t recommend it more. Unless you have an aversion to rail shooters, you’d be silly not to at least give this game a rental. It also makes for a wonderful summary of the major points in the complex RE storyline, so players new to the franchise can warm up to the current situation.

Pros:
       

Nicely summarizes the main RE storyline

 

Co-op is amazingly fun

 

The old-school arcade vibe is appreciated and works wonderfully

 

Lots of unlockables and, thanks to the ranking system, replay value

       Cons:
       

Graphics haven't evolved much since RE0 and RE4 on the GameCube

 

Some of the main bosses repeat in the bonus missions

 

There are times where the sheer number of enemies will frustrate the solo player

               Graphics:  8.0
       Not the best I’ve seen on the Wii, but it looks darn good for a GameCube game. Everything is a little bit too dark, although the water effects are nice, and the monster designs (while very little is actually new) are spot-on. Some of the creatures have somewhat jerky animations, though. I say it’s on par with RE4.

               Sound:  9.0
       The music is present, but not overbearing. In fact, I often didn’t notice it, but there is lots of ambient noise and a ton of spoken dialogue. I’ve never really liked Wesker’s voice, but it would seem that the entire cast from the GameCube games is reprising their roles for Umbrella Chronicles. Carlos (from RE3) certainly isn’t Mexican.

               Control:  9.0
       Press B to fire, and wiggle the Remote to reload. That’s honestly all you need to know! The controls are awesome in their simplicity. This game is compatible with the Zapper, if you care.

                      Gameplay:  8.5
       I like rail shooters, because I’m not good at first-person shooters. Thankfully, half of the job is being done by the computer (the moving), and I’m quite good at the aiming and the shooting.

 

       Lastability:  9.0
       It’s almost criminal how many things you can unlock, although the vast majority will be interesting only to the RE hardcore among us. Still, the plentiful bonus missions, guns, and info files will keep you going long into the night. It’s incredibly fun to go back to older missions after upgrading your weapons and improving your aiming technique.

 

       Final:  9.0
       It’s very hard not to like this game. Aside from some graphical irks, it’s just about the perfect rail shooter and an obvious choice for Wii owners looking for some action. If you like Resident Evil, it’s a no-brainer. If you’ve never played Resident Evil but like House of the Dead, it’s also a no-brainer. If you’ve never played either series, at least give Umbrella Chronicles a rent. It’s something special.      

[A look back on developing Metroid's greatest trilogy.]

164

TalkBack / Retro Studios Retrospective

« on: November 28, 2007, 05:36:17 AM »

A look back on developing Metroid's greatest trilogy.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/newsArt.cfm?artid=14884

 Ever wonder how those awesome Metroid Prime games were developed? How a first-time Texas developer was able to take the reigns of one of Nintendo’s most important franchises? Why Metroid Prime 2 feels a whole lot like Link to the Past? Gamasutra sat down with Retro Studios’ president and CEO, Michael Kelbaugh, to discuss those and many other issues. Here are some highlights from that interview:    

When they were approached by Nintendo to develop Metroid Prime, Retro was already in the preproduction phases for an RPG, a racing game, a football game, and an action-adventure. All of those projects were scrapped once Nintendo gave them the go-ahead.

 

You might remember that the first screens of Metroid Prime were from a third-person perspective. That view was switched to the familiar first-person view because Mr. Miyamoto, who was heavily involved in the first game, felt that exploration was more intuitive from a first-person perspective.

 

Not surprisingly, the team used Super Metroid as a base for Metroid Prime, but the Morph Ball was almost ditched during development. Making the transition from first-person to third-person sphere proved very difficult. Miyamoto, however, put the entire project on the line for the Morph Ball. Get it right, or you can’t make the game! Well, they got it right.

 

The Scan Visor was added basically at the last minute, because NCL thought that something was missing from the exploration aspect. They were the ones who suggested the Scan Visor, which has remained a staple of the series.

 

But the Scan Visor has its dissenters! Western gamers apparently can’t stand the Scan Visor, while Japanese gamers love it. Retro tried in subsequent games to give the visor a wider appeal, with tips on defeating enemies or rewards for scanning everything.

 

For Metroid Prime 2, the team wanted to focus on a theme rather than just a new setting. After speaking with one of the producers for Link to the Past, the Retro team decided to go that route.

 

But Retro pushed Echoes in the hardcore fan direction, alienating more casual and new gamers with Echoes’ brutal difficulty and non-linearity.

 

Right after development on Echoes was wrapped up, Retro was discussing how to improve the formula for Corruption, which is when they were shown the Wii Remote. Lights instantly went off, although one sticking point early on was the Remote’s lack of buttons.

 

For a 2004 TGS demo, the Retro team retrofitted Echoes with the Wii control scheme, and surprised themselves with how versatile it proved to be. Maybe this motion-sensing thing wasn’t so crazy after all…

   

Click the link above for the full interview.

[It's your duty, soldier, to please that booty!]

165

TalkBack / REVIEWS: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

« on: November 25, 2007, 10:25:30 AM »

It's your duty, soldier, to please that booty!
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=14860

 I really can’t stand war games. As a sub-genre of the first-person shooter, war games have milked the Greatest Generation for all it’s worth, making us storm Omaha Beach at least once a year. Shooting Nazis is fun, sure, but eventually it becomes cliché. I’m also genetically predisposed to sucking at FPS games. If you stuck me in front of an Xbox 360 with a monkey who has never played Halo 3 before, the monkey would win nine times out of ten. If it’s not called “Metroid Prime," I am horrible at it.    

Having said that, you can only imagine my shock (and awe!) when I became completely enraptured in Activision’s Call of Duty 4, which is making its rounds on the more modern consoles. I didn’t play it on the PlayStation 3, 360, or PC, mind you, but I just sat, enthralled, watching my friend play on his PS3. I hoped that CoD4 would show up on the Wii (seems like a good fit), but alas, such is not the case. So when I received a copy of CoD4 for the Nintendo DS, I was surprised and excited, but also a little concerned. If Activision passed on the Wii for hardware reasons (and I don’t blame them), then how would the DS game handle?    

Ladies and germs, Call of Duty 4 on the DS is absolutely incredible. It is a nonstop thrill ride that literally does not stop until the credits roll. Just like the military forces it strives to evoke, CoD4 is fast, efficient, and responsive. It is, without a doubt, one of the best DS games I’ve had the pleasure of playing.    

The plot centers around stopping a Middle East extremist named Al-Asad, who may have Weapons of Mass Destruction. Al-Asad may have financial ties to a businessman in Russia, who is attempting to bring communism back into fashion. You play as American and British troops in both areas, switching back and forth between protagonists, and each “storyline" takes place at the same time. The Brits are trying to find the Russian backer while the Yanks are going after Al-Asad. The plot is told through slideshow cutscenes which occur between missions. While not especially engrossing, the slides get the job done. Interestingly, most missions find you fighting in parallel to the console teams. That is, while the PS3 squad might be infiltrating a tanker’s belly to find a nuclear bomb, the DS version has your squad providing cover on the deck while disarming missiles. It’s like watching the same movie from two different perspectives. This is a very cool dynamic, especially if you’ve experienced both the console and DS versions of the game.    

Most of the gameplay is wrought through an interface lifted directly from Metroid Prime: Hunters, another DS FPS I really liked. The stylus navigates the Touch Screen (which also serves as a map) in order to aim on the upper screen, the R Button fires your gun, and double-tapping X or B lets you run and crouch, respectively. The Touch Screen also has icons for your main and secondary weapons, and grenades. Instead of jumping, double-tapping the Touch Screen switches your view to ADS mode (aiming down the sight) which, in theory, gives you a more accurate shot (more on that later). You can exchange your currently-equipped weapon for a gun lying on the ground by tapping a hand icon, and you can occasionally call in air strikes by tapping a binocular icon. By tapping your currently-equipped weapon, you can reload it. A few bomb-defusing sequences have you hacking security codes and defusing bombs. The latter task, while under a beeping timer, has a real sense of urgency to it.     While the controls are, for the most part, incredibly tight, there are some areas that could use improvement. ADS mode brings up a 2D “frame" which does little more than obstruct your view of the enemy, and it’s not noticeably more accurate than firing from the hip. Part of the problem is that you’ll want to use ADS mode for long shots, but the enemies tend to pixel out at a distance, so it’s not always clear what you’re shooting at. Also, ADS is activated by double-tapping the Touch Screen, but due to the constraints of the Touch Screen’s size, you’ll often be removing the stylus and putting it back down, and the game will sometimes register a double-tap, bringing up ADS when you don’t want it. This doesn’t really adversely affect the gameplay, but it’s a slight flaw nonetheless. Actually, if you want to be more accurate, just crouch. Also, ADS sensitivity can be turned down from the options menu.    

Thankfully, there are enough gun types around any given area that you never need to worry too much about not hitting enemies. The FPS areas range from the wide-open spaces of a ruined Middle Eastern city the confined quarters of a luxurious mansion in Mother Russia. There are some areas where finding cover becomes a priority, but thankfully your enemies rarely run after you. If you’re hurt, just backtrack a little and rest. The FPS gameplay is engaging and exciting, and its fast pace is almost exactly like the tone set by CoD4’s big console brothers. Although I wish there were a few more spots for air strikes, the gunplay is second to none. These sections only become tedious in the last few missions, when your guard is constantly up, and enemies fill the halls. But even then, you adrenaline is pumping.    

And then you’ve got the uber-awesome missions. You know, like the one where you’re the gunner on a helicopter, spraying Arab militia from here to kingdom come. And the coolest mission on the console versions is back in full force here—you’re manning a 105 mm cannon, firing it with wild abandon at enemy troops while your boys on the ground scout out enemy encampments.      

The graphics are fantastic considering the hardware this game is running on. Enemies animate fairly smoothly—the game looks noticeably better than N64 games like Goldeneye and Perfect Dark, and without the slowdown that crippled the latter. Although there are no real lighting effects to speak of, the overall color palette is light enough that you won’t have trouble seeing enemies, especially since your map’s sonar often detects them (as red dots) before you’re shot to hell. Some sequences, like the opening gunner mission, boggle the mind with their technical skill. You’d expect some chugging or environmental popup while zipping through a canyon, firing on enemy troops while helicopters fly overhead, but nope! It all looks absolutely beautiful, all the time.    

Adding to the impressive specs is a boatload of spoken dialog. To get the most out of the game, in fact, you’ll want the volume turned up all the way, as objectives are often given to you over the speakers rather than in a text box. During the critical air support missions in particular, a good ear is an absolute necessity. There’s no noticeable musical score (aside from a few critical missions), but you’ll be too busy paying attention to gunshots, vehicle noise, and your commanding officer to care. My only complaint with the sound is that many of your fellow military officers sound like high schoolers, not the rough-and-tumble Marines you keep hearing about.    

I’m sad to report that CoD4 on the DS has no online multiplayer. There is both single and multi-card play, although the available game types are a bit lacking (deathmatch AND team deathmatch? Who’da thunk it?). And unlike Metroid Prime: Hunters, there is no stat tracking. The lack of Wi-Fi play really hurts CoD4, and limits its lastability, but I can’t really knock the solo effort.    

But the game’s biggest strength is in how well it establishes the tone and feeling of the console CoD4 games. The fast pace, mission structure, and gameplay are all distinctly Call of Duty, and everything performs beautifully. In addition to that, CoD4 on the DS is just a damn good game and will keep you entertained for quite some time.

Pros:
       

Invokes the atmosphere of the console games with great success

 

Gunner missions are too cool for words

 

FPS controls are tight and responsive

       Cons:
       

No Wi-Fi multiplayer

 

Machine guns are too inaccurate at long range to be of any use

 

If you’re not dead-on with your headshots, it can take a few clips to down enemies

               Graphics:  9.0
       While I take some issue with the draw distance, CoD4 looks and performs extremely well. There’s never any noticeable slowdown, even when enemy soldiers flood the screen. The ambient effects, like explosions, gunshots, and overhead helicopters, are very impressive.

               Sound:  8.0
       Music will kick in during particularly critical sequences, but for the most part you’ll be hearing your COs, gunshots, and enemies yelping as you shoot them in the face, which is exactly what war sounds like.

               Control:  9.0
       Nary a hitch, aside from the aforementioned ADS trigger. The layout of the Touch Screen can be reversed for you left-handers in the options menu.

                      Gameplay:  8.0
       The gunner missions are so awesome I would have liked to see more of them. The FPS missions, though, are intense and entertaining, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

 

       Lastability:  7.0
       After you beat the normal difficulty, you can go for hard mode (and it really is tough) or play your favorite missions right away in quick play. The lack of online multiplayer, though, is a real stumbling block. I can see myself popping this game in on plane rides, though, or when I game from the throne. It definitely has “pick up and play for short periods of time" written all over it.

 

       Final:  9.0
       While not without its flaws, CoD4 is true to the spirit of its console counterparts and manages to be a kick-ass game in its own right. If you’re looking for a good FPS on your DS, or you just want to see what the fuss over CoD4 is about, check this game out. You won’t be sorry!      

[Genre grandaddies could show up on our beloved handhelds.]

166

TalkBack / Wolfenstein, Quake, and Doom May Hit the DS

« on: November 15, 2007, 04:00:45 PM »

Genre grandaddies could show up on our beloved handhelds.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/newsArt.cfm?artid=14817

 In an interview with Chris Kohler, id Software's John Carmack and Anna Kang said that they would like to bring Wolfenstein 3D, Quake Arena, Doom, and a few new intellectual properties to the Nintendo DS. Their primary concern is whether an M-rated game would actually sell on the DS.    

 Wired News: What do you see as being the audience of the DS right now?    

John Carmack: There's a thing that's under debate right now, where we've seen statistics saying that half of them are over 16. The Game Boy was always stigmatized as being strictly a kids' platform, and it was uneducated consumers where the games were usually bought by Mommy for little Johnny without looking at reviews or anything like that. So we looked at getting into the original Game Boy market and decided that it just wouldn't be a good place for id Software, because we thought it was driven mostly by branding, either as a Nintendo title or as a heavily licensed title that ties in with a movie or toy or something. And we didn't think we'd have a whole lot of leverage there.  The DS is selling like gangbusters, has trended a little bit older, and with the Internet covering everything on there we think that the quality of a game will make a bigger difference now      

Check out the full Wired interview for more on id Software's thoughts on the cell phone and DS platforms.

[Vivendi is ready to continue the series in video game form.]

167

TalkBack / Get Ready to Bust Some Ghosts

« on: November 15, 2007, 03:59:18 PM »

Vivendi is ready to continue the series in video game form.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/newsArt.cfm?artid=14816

 It seems that no 80’s license is safe, kiddies. Variety reports that Vivendi Games and Sony Pictures have made a deal to continue the popular Ghostbusters franchise on home gaming consoles. Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, and Ernie Hudson have all jumped aboard to lend their likenesses and voices to the game. Additionally, Aykroyd and Ramis are developing a plot and script, which will take place sometime after the events of Ghostbusters 2.    

Sadly, Wii and DS gamers may get the shaft in this deal, as the "hardcore demographic" is being targeted for the Xbox 360, PS3, and PC versions of the game, while Vivendi itself isn't even developing the Wii and DS games. Instead, rookie developer Red Fly Studio is. Along with the PS2 version, the Wii and DS games promise to be more "family friendly" than the 360, PS3, and PC offerings. It is not clear whether the Aykroyd/Ramis script will be a part of the Nintendo games.

[It hurts when I bee.]

168

TalkBack / REVIEWS: Bee Movie Game

« on: November 15, 2007, 04:52:41 AM »

It hurts when I bee.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=14812

 I haven’t even seen Bee Movie yet, and I’m already sick of it. Jerry Seinfeld’s "TV Juniors" pop up on NBC every fifteen minutes, and one of my favorite shows, 30 Rock, shamelessly hawked the film during its season premier. And then, of course, you’ve got the games on every platform known to man. They’re resurrecting the Dreamcast for a port! [Editor's Note: Not really.] While you may have seen my colleague’s earlier review of the Wii version, I can assure you that Bee Movie Game for Nintendo DS is just as, if not more, boring as its console counterpart.    

Just like all the other versions, you take control of Benny B. Benson, a bee who wants desperately to become a "Pollen Jockey," which means collecting pollen for his hive, New Hive City. The player is thrust right into this dramatic event, as Benny is on his way to jock training. But wait, before you get with the pollen collecting, you have to engage in menial tasks. True, these tasks basically set you up for the entirety of the gameplay, but after mastering the game’s initial fifteen minutes, you will have all the skills you need to beat the game. That, my friends, is not promising.    

What Bee Movie Game amounts to is a series of boring fetch-quests. You are thrust from one fetch quest to another, often with mindless fetch-questing in between main fetch quests so that you can earn enough pollen (money) to train with the jockeys for the umpteenth time so that you can level up your skill set…which just means access to newer fetch quests. The typical gameplay segment unfolds as follows:    

1) Get assigned a task, like collecting so many doodads. Collect those doodads while avoiding dogs, frogs, birds, water, and various other bee-killing organisms.
 2) Report back to whoever gave you task. Go find the next guy to give you a task.
 3) Find out that your skill set isn’t up to par with the requirements of the new task.
 4) Grind for pollen by smacking your face into red flowers over and over again.
 5) Go train with the jockey teams (more on this later). Level up your skills sufficiently to be accepted for the new tasks.
 6) Go collect a bunch of doodads.    

This is basically the entire game. And when I say "grind for pollen," I mean that you smack your head into plants to make pollen fly out, which you then collect. This wouldn’t be so horrible if each training session didn’t cost 500 pollen bucks. If I have to spend between five and ten minutes smacking my head into flowers repeatedly, only to be "rewarded" with a 30-second mini-game, I’m not a happy camper!    

The mini-games themselves are sort of interesting. In one, you must keep track of two bouncing balls, tapping them only when they turn blue. In another, you draw a line trace a line quickly on the Touch Screen. These mini-games are generally fun, but they never last very long, and the rewards are barely worthwhile. The most interesting gameplay aspect comes from the "three tier" system of flying. When Benny is outside, you can press X or B to switch from low to medium to high flight paths (well, after you’ve trained enough). Certain areas can only be reached at the higher altitudes, and each tier has its own dangers. If only the gameplay involved something other than slave labor, this would be an interesting game mechanic. I can easily see a shooter-type game being built around the three-tier system, or even a simplistic racing game.    

The different levels are interspersed with cut-scenes in which a news reporter bee interviews Benny about his adventure. This is how the story is told. I could care less, because each new level just brings new boring fetch quests to complete. As in "ooh, now instead of collecting special pollen, I’m collecting candy." It eventually becomes ridiculous in its repetitiousness.    

At least the game looks pretty good. Everything is in 3D, albeit low-res 3D. Benny animates very well, especially during the mini-game cut-scenes. The colors, however, tend to be bland and boring, and the camera could’ve been pulled back a little more. There is an interesting depth illusion in the hive itself. Jerry Seinfeld even does some extremely limited voice work, providing the "oofs," "wahoos," and "ouch" effects for when Benny gets eaten by a sparrow or he completes a fetch-quest. But my favorite comedian can’t save this rushed DS tie-in. I’ve heard good things about the movie, but I can’t recommend the game.

Pros:
       

Three-tier flying system

 

Unbelievably easy to play

       Cons:
       

Graphics bland; sound even more so

 

Three-tier flying system completely wasted on chore-boy bullcrap

 

Easy to play in this case means mind-numbing

               Graphics:  6.5
       Aside from our titular buzzing hero, the game looks boring, even though it’s in 3D. The colors are bland, and many of the enemies look botched or animate poorly.

               Sound:  3.0
       There is no music where there should be music. Some actual voice work from Jerry would’ve been appreciated, as little exclamations don’t really get the job done.

               Control:  7.0
       The three-tier system is interesting but wasted. Picking up and dropping things, while easy, becomes tedious very quickly.

                      Gameplay:  5.0
       This is a routine fetch-quest game. You have missions involving collecting things and grinding for pollen. Sound like fun?

 

       Lastability:  3.0
       Both my DS and I were extremely happy when I stopped playing the game.

 

       Final:  4.0
       The biggest disappointment is that the three-tier flying system really does have legs. If Bee Movie Game was a different kind of game (rather than a generic fetch-quester), it might have taken advantage of this unique idea. But as it stands, the three-tier system serves only to give you access to more fetch-quests.      

[Nintendo’s newest Wii channel is pretty freakin’ awesome.]

169

TalkBack / IMPRESSIONS: Check Mii Out Channel

« on: November 12, 2007, 08:19:26 PM »

Nintendo’s newest Wii channel is pretty freakin’ awesome.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/impressionsArt.cfm?artid=14790

 The blue light was on when I got home from a marathon Call of Duty 4 session on Xbox 360 last night, so I eagerly switched on my Wii and discovered, thanks to a note from Nintendo on my Wii Message Board, that a new, free Wii Channel had been added. I hit the Wii Shop, downloaded the Check Mii Out Channel, then spent the next hour completely mesmerized by its charms.    

Arguably, Look at Mii is Nintendo’s first real foray into creating an online community. As you can well imagine, one of the fixtures of the new channel is to upload your own Miis onto a database, where Miis from around the world can be seen, as can information on the creator. You can also upload funny Miis and get ranked on how good your funny Mii is. You can look at dozens of Miis from your region as well as around the world. You can sort them in various ways, and even download Miis you especially like onto your Wii. It was hard not to resist the striking Jack Black and Walter (from Big Labowski) Miis.    

As I clicked through the pages and pages of Miis from around the world, I was struck by a few things. First, people are a lot more creative in making Miis than I am. There were designs I didn’t even know were possible. Also, Adolf Hitler is an amazingly popular character to design, which is rather disturbing. I thought I was being unique when I spent a half-hour making Mr. Garrison from South Park, only to find that he was another incredibly popular character, as was Kenny from the same show.    

The other side of the Check Mii Out Channel is the contests, in which Nintendo gives you a theme and you are supposed to make a Mii that fits the theme, then upload it to the contest page. The current theme is “Mario without a hat," which is certainly an effort to gear up excitement for Super Mario Galaxy’s imminent release. I thought my Mario was quite good, but we’ll see how well it fares overall in five days when the contest ends.    

There are a few problems that dog the Look at Mii channel, though. Perhaps most irritatingly, your uploaded Miis are given an ID number which is akin to the much-ballyhooed friend codes, except each of your Miis has its own code. And if you don’t write that code down somewhere, it becomes next to impossible to find your Mii among the thousands that have already been uploaded by now, especially when your character is as popular as Mr. Garrison. I think you should be able to check on all of your Miis simply by clicking on your Mii Artisan Info icon, which lists how many Miis you have created and what your overall rank is.    

Also, in an effort to allow people to remain anonymous, and because Nintendo thought that people would upload themselves onto the Check Mii Out Channel, individual Miis do not have full names—only initials. So if I were to upload myself, I would be Z.M. instead of Zachary Miller. I don’t mind that so much, but when people are making funny Miis, it would be helpful, many times, if I could see the full name of who that Mii is supposed to be.   And while people are being very creative with their Miis, it’s becoming obvious that certain Mii options—noses, and eyes, for instances—are far too limited. I could never really get Mr. Garrison’s eyes right, because all of the Mii eyes have enormous pupils. I hope that, in the future, Nintendo releases some new content for the Mii Channel itself.    

Overall, though, it’s easy to waste a lot of time on the Look at Mii channel, and I like it. Like I said, it looks like Nintendo is starting to acknowledge the need for an online community that is not hampered by a horrifying friend code system (although that problem persists to some degree here). While I didn’t spend too much time with the Mii Channel before, I am now motivated to get my creative juices flowing. The entire South Park cast? I think I’m up to the challenge!

[Actual alchemy seems simpler.]

170

TalkBack / REVIEWS: Fullmetal Alchemist: Trading Card Game

« on: November 10, 2007, 11:29:13 AM »

Actual alchemy seems simpler.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=14780

 Full Metal Alchemist (FMA) is my favorite anime series. I could tell you all the reasons why, but that’s not why you’re reading this review. I have previously been disappointed with the poor video game adaptations of this series—two on the PS2 and one on the DS—but I was intrigued when I learned of an FMA collectable card game (CCG) for the DS. I love the Pokemon Trading Card Game on the Game Boy Color because it allows me to play the game without going broke at the comic shop. I was unaware that FMA had spawned its own CCG (perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised), but after doing some research, I learned that the physical card game was introduced to our shores around the same time the American anime hit Adult Swim. Various expansions were released throughout the anime’s run, with another celebrating the movie's release. The card game has fizzled since its source material tipped its hat goodbye, but since I've played others with a level of dedication some might call obsessive, I was eager to try this one on for size.    

The FMA CCG is the most complicated CCG I’ve ever played. The Universal Fighting System (UFS) game has nothing on this. It makes the Pokemon CCG look like Go Fish. The closest thing I can compare it to is the old Star Trek/Aliens. vs. Predator systems of yore, and even those can’t compete in terms of pure complexity. The game includes over 500 individual cards, faithfully translated from their physical forms to electronic duplicates, so I can only assume that the entire FMA CCG is in FMA: The Trading Card Game. And it seems like all 500+ cards have about 20 different attributes. Character cards have so many special abilities and numbers that it’s incredibly hard to keep track of who can do what and when.    

Part of the problem is that, like any electronic translation of a physical game, you cannot just look down at your card to see what it does. Rather, in this DS game you have to tap a card, and then tap “Detail." After you go back to the main screen and look at another card, you’ll forget what the first card did. I was constantly checking all my cards before making a move, so the game moved at a snail’s pace. That said, at its core the game is quite good. It’s definitely got an FMA feel, and I like the idea of winning locations by knocking your opponent’s attribute pool down to nothing. That’s how you win, by the way. Rather than fighting one-on-one or taking control of your opponent’s base, you and your opponent fight over specific locations. Locations have specific attributes which control the flow of that turn (think Final Fantasy Tactics Advance), and in each turn, you are battling over a different location. All of the characters you control add up their attributes (Strength, Wits, Alchemy, etc.) into team totals, and the location is won by having more of a certain attribute than the defender. If that sounds complicated, you should not play this game. That’s the basic premise, and all of the cards you pull from your draw pile influence that eventual outcome.    

The biggest complication, for me anyway, is that while a location card may require you to score, say, +3 Wits over your opponent at the end of the round in order to win that location, the location may also require that your fights be determined by some additional factor, like strength or alchemy. And then there are situations where your team totals will influence a fight, and other times when a character’s individual stats will be more helpful, depending on how many allies you want to send into battle. There are also four playing fields to manage…just on your side. The complexity goes on and on.    

But after going through the tutorial about four times, the rules begin to click for me. Strategies change as you realize that concepts found in other CCG’s just have different names in FMA. Once I got it through my head that trying to knock out all of my opponent’s characters was not necessarily the best way to win locations, I started to enjoy myself. Rather, it’s more important to keep an eye on the team totals, and only fight if you really have to. If you fight and lose, your team total goes down. I found that if I have more of a particular attribute before a fight, I’ll just defend. If I need to knock a few of my opponent’s characters out to lower his team total, then I’ll actively fight.    

The game has several modes, all of which have you dueling with either computer or human opponents. You can play against someone locally via multi-card play. Nintendo Wi-Fi is also fully supported—good luck finding opponents. You can fight practice duels that have no bearing on the single-player story mode (which just amounts to winning duels and then getting booster packs), you can construct fantastical decks from the entire series lineup, and you can read about the characters in the game. Deck-building is a bit of a chore, as your default screen is your collection, and you must click-and-drag cards you want into another screen. This card swapping aspect, plus the fact that you can have between 60 and 120 cards in your deck, makes for a tedious deck-building process. Fortunately, the pre-built decks are fine on their own. Even so, hardcore enthusiasts can spend hours building the perfect deck for multiplayer matches.    

Like any CCG, your level of enjoyment will depend entirely upon your patience with CCG’s, and how complex you like them to be. If you like CCG’s and strategy, you’ll probably greatly enjoy this one. And if you are one of the proud few who played the physical FMA card game, then this is a no-brainer. But if gin rummy and Texas Hold ‘Em constitute the bulk of your card-game playing, you should shy away from this one.

Pros:
       

Captures the spirit of the anime series beautifully

 

There are levels of complexity here that I haven't yet begun to explore

 

The satisfaction eventually wrought is awesome!

       Cons:
       

Did I mention how complex the game is?

 

The learning curve is an 89-degree slope

 

Having to constantly check your cards slows the game considerably

               Graphics:  8.0
       Having never played the physical card game, I can only assume that card images are faithfully reproduced. The play area is kind of crowded, but that’s more the card game's fault than the technology.

               Sound:  6.0
       I like the voice work, which changes depending on which FMA character you’re playing as. The music is straight from the show, but, maddeningly, the tracks repeat endlessly, and you’ll turn the volume down quickly.

               Control:  7.0
       It’s all done with the stylus. You can use the L and R buttons to streamline the detailing and turn-passing process. The lack of an undo button makes the game incredibly unforgiving.  I often inadvertently played a card because the touch screen registered a single tap as a double-tap.

                      Gameplay:  7.0
       This game is incredibly complex, almost to the point of being unplayable for those unfamiliar with CCG’s. Once you do get up that giant learning curve, though, the strategies start popping up and the fun starts. You just have to want it!

 

       Lastability:  8.0
       With over five hundred cards and several unlockable single-player decks, there’s a lot of fun to be had here. But again, you have to be CCG fan.

 

       Final:  7.0
       The tutorial does an average job of teaching new players how to play: it explains the basics but doesn’t go into the specifics with enough detail. So if you are up to the challenge of figuring the ins-and-outs of this CCG on your own, you'll have fun. If you aren't, FMA: The Trading Card Game is not for you.      

[Comparing Mario to food, gardens, and tea tables!]

171

TalkBack / Iwata on Super Mario Galaxy

« on: November 07, 2007, 02:59:36 PM »

Comparing Mario to food, gardens, and tea tables!
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/newsArt.cfm?artid=14758

 On the eve of its Japanese release, Satoru Iwata sat down with former Nintendo Dream writer Akinori Sao to talk about Super Mario Galaxy (for the entire interview, click the Related Link above).  Here are the juiciest tidbits:    

    •   The concept for Super Mario Galaxy was born from the famous “128 Marios" demo at Space World in 2000. That demo showed an appropriate number of plumbers walking around a saucer. Iwata wanted to turn that concept into a game, but did not think it was possible at the time, given the technical challenges of producing a sphere.    

•   Incredibly, the Mario Galaxy production team’s previous effort was Donkey Kong Jungle Beat!    

•   The whole idea of having Mario wandering around a sphere didn’t initially focus on a galactic background. Rather, the stars and nebulae were added after the team realized that, when you put Mario on a sphere, he looks like he’s walking around a planet.    

•   The team really did hope to have Galaxy done within six months of Wii's launch date.    

•   Super Mario Sunshine originally had several options for camera control, but the team quickly realized that test players did not like being forced into a single camera option. In Galaxy, the inherent problems of a 3D camera were a big focus.    

•   Another huge focus in Galaxy was to simplify the controls. The team realized that jumping in 3D space is trouble enough—but precise jumping on a sphere? Thus, Mario’s new spin move was created.    

•   The Co-Op mode in Galaxy was created with the intention of allowing players to help each other, not compete or lose track of each other.    

•   The game allows six save files so that everybody in the family can play.

[The best of both worlds.]

172

TalkBack / REVIEWS: Tony Hawk's Proving Ground

« on: November 05, 2007, 01:33:53 PM »

The best of both worlds.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=14741

 Tony Hawk’s Proving Ground is the ninth game in the Tony Hawk series, and one would think that the formula is getting stale. You can only grind around various cityscapes for so long, after all. And to be honest, the reviews of Tony Hawk games for the last few years have been a little lackluster. So it was with some apprehension that I popped Proving Ground in my DS, as I didn’t really know what to expect. Happily, the game far exceeded my expectation. To understand where Proving Ground is going, though, it’s important to know where Tony Hawk has been.    

I followed the series up through Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 4, and I felt like that game took a real turn for the worse. THPS3, though, had a pretty simple concept: You have two minutes to skate around an environment, completing goals and gunning for a high score. While exploration was encouraged, it was finding the perfect combo line that really motivated you. Toward the end of my THPS3 days, I was grinding around entire maps, racking up point totals which skyrocketed toward the stratosphere. But what was really great about THPS3 was that everything was doable, and the game moved along very quickly. As you experience with the control scheme grew, you found yourself revisiting previous maps to best your old high scores. The formula never got old.    

THPS4 changed all that. Rather than dropping you into an environment with specific goals to complete, you were free to roam the map at your leisure, finding combo lines on your own and generally getting a feel for the place. When you felt like actually accomplishing something, you need only interact with one of the many NPC’s scattered around the map, and they would give you a task—an often ridiculous task. For the most part, these challenges mimicked those in THPS3—get a certain score, do a certain trick, grind a certain line. But others were just plain stupid, like ride a shopping cart down a steep incline while avoiding barrels, or grinding off a rhinoceros’s back. The more inane the task, the more difficult it became to complete. As a result, I found myself constantly restarting certain goals, my teeth wearing down with every tap of the Start Button, sometimes upwards of a dozen times. THPS4 was kind of like Tony Hawk meets Jackass. Of course, the inclusion of Bam Margera into the game surely influenced its content.    

So I turned away from the franchise after THPS4, thinking it would never get back to its roots. With Tony Hawk’s Proving Ground on the DS, though, it looks like Neversoft is beginning to see the light. The game, which is surprisingly robust, allows players to choose between Career and Classic modes of play, which simulate the experiences of THPS4 and THPS3, respectively. I’m thrilled—finally, after all these years, I can go back to the gameplay style I love.    

Career mode puts you in the shoes of an up-and-coming skateboarder who is building his own skate park. Your ultimate goal is to learn from the masters, go pro, and earn money to further improve your park. As you travel to different cities and locations, you can explore the amazingly large environments and talk to NPC’s in order to access goals. These tasks range from relatively simple (do this trick off a certain jump) to virtually impossible (follow a cameraman who zig-zaps around, doing certain tricks while you’re “in range" or else it doesn’t count…while on a timer). Thankfully, the goal system is a smidgen forgiving, as you are ranked based on how well you accomplished the goal. You earn cash and unlock a variety of things by completing NPC goals.    

And then there’s Classic mode, which uses the same environments, but gives you the two-minute timer and set goals that THPS3 did. The goals are never ridiculous, and can all be accomplished within a few runs of the map. Accomplishing a certain number of goals unlocks the next map, so there’s always an impressive amount of variety to be had. Sick of trying to grind a certain line in the museum? Go back to the harbor and find that secret tape.    

Customization in Proving Ground is just as rampant, if not moreso, than in console Tony Hawk titles. Everything from the hat you wear to the color and design of your board and the pieces in your skate park are up for grabs. Thanks to the DS’ touch screen, you can design your board logo yourself, although the draw area is a little small. If you’re good at drawing pixel pictures, you’ll have a blast. Otherwise, go for one of the pre-drawn designs. You can also unlock various costume choices and fish-eye camera videos, just like in the console counterparts. The sheer amount of content on this game card is frightening.    

There’s also a simplistic wireless mode, in which you and three other skaters roam around one of the game’s environments, trying to out-score each other. It’s fun, and a great place to test your mad skillz, although I kept getting booted off the server via error code. I’m not sure if it was just my game or the service itself, but it was annoying. I don’t have the problem in any of my other Wi-Fi capable DS games.    

The graphics are impressive considering the hardware this game is running on. While the character models are, perhaps, the ugliest human polygonal objects to ever grace a screen, the environments more than make up for any lackings in the character model department. Each map is distinct, colorful, detailed, and huge! There are combo possibilities everywhere. And I’ve got to say that no matter how awful your character looks, they animate incredibly well. All of the tricks and the animations that go along with them from the console games have been translated extremely well to the DS.    

The controls falter a little due to the unnecessary use of the touch screen in performing special tricks. In previous Tony Hawk games (and, to a limited extent, this one), special tricks could be triggered by inputting a certain button combo (left, right, X, for example). Here, however, your “best" tricks are activated by tapping a floating symbol on the touch screen. This forced use of the touch screen kind of takes you out of the moment, though, and instead of watching where you’re going during a grind line, your eyes must zip downward so you can see where the symbol is, tap it, and hope that your character performs it without bailing first. More often than not, I bailed while attempting to perform a touch screen trick. There is also a new “Focus" technique, also activated via touch screen icon, which slows the action down for a few seconds when your special meter is full. While I’m not quite sure what advantage this gets you, it certainly helps during speedy grind lines, as it helps you plan your next move.    

Overall, Tony Hawk’s Proving Ground is a great game. It will appeal to both the old-school THPS fans (like me) and the newer crowd who are more familiar with the post-THPS3 games. For skating fans who like gaming on the go, Proving Ground is a worthy choice.

Pros:
       

Brilliant mix of timed and goal-driven gameplay

 

Online multiplayer is the real proving ground

 

Customization options up the wazoo

       Cons:
       

Character models that only an emotionless mechanical construct could love

 

Touch screen tricks will make you bail more often than not

 

Career goals are freakin' impossible sometimes!

               Graphics:  7.0
       Shoddy character models, but the environments are gorgeous and eye-poppingly detailed. I wasn’t aware that the DS was capable of such impressively large, 3D environments.

               Sound:  9.0
       It’s a good soundtrack, containing only one song I didn’t like (“Bear in the Air"). The various sounds your board makes when it meets metal or pavement are well implemented. There is even some spoken dialog! I do miss the hilarious screams and groans that your character would make upon meeting the blacktop during a bail, though.

               Control:  8.0
       If you played THPS3 and 4 on the ‘Cube, using the tiny D-Pad, you will be right at home with Proving Ground. The touch screen options, however, leave much to be desired. Also, a few too many moves are mapped to the R Button, and now the L Button is solely available for rotating during a grab trick (aside from left and right on the D-Pad, which doesn’t help if you’re using an up or down grab trick).

                      Gameplay:  8.0
       Should appeal to everyone who likes the Tony Hawk games. Some of the Career challenges are ridiculously difficult, and some of the Classic goals are hampered by an unfortunate environmental layout, but it’s nothing a Tony Hawk vet can’t achieve.

 

       Lastability:  9.0
       There’s just a ton of content here for the single player, and the multiplayer option is very fun when you’re not getting error codes!

 

       Final:  9.0
       It’s hard to find serious fault with Proving Ground. Yeah, the touch screen tricks aren’t well implemented, but it’s not like they’re required to move forward. The character models themselves look fugly, but their smooth animations and the gorgeous maps make up for that. And “Bear in the Air" is forgiven thanks to “Heart Attack."      

[Rockstar should stick to killing hookers.]

173

TalkBack / REVIEWS: Rockstar Games Presents Table Tennis

« on: October 30, 2007, 08:10:44 PM »

Rockstar should stick to killing hookers.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=14716

 A long, long time ago, in a rec room far, far away, I whittled away my entire youthful summers playing ping-pong and air hockey. Even today, I cannot pass up the opportunity to play either casual sport. When the Xbox 360 version of Table Tennis was first released, I admit to being a little sad that I did not own said console. Now Rockstar has ported the game onto my precious Wii, with the motion controls that would surely make a game like table tennis as fun as it could possibly be! But lo, fun times were not to be had, as I realized with some disappointment that table tennis, at least in Rockstar’s world, is the driest, most boring sport of them all, surpassing even baseball (ooh, burn!).    

The instruction booklet makes a big fuss about how table tennis became an Olympic sport in the late 80’s, but Table Tennis makes no effort to make you feel like you’re playing an Olympic game. There are no actual table tennis players, which boggles the mind. There are only a multitude of ethnicities represented, all of whom are known on a purely first-name basis. After choosing your character, you can select from a less-than-exciting array of jersey colors, most of which must be, you guessed it, unlocked. You then begin a match, which is where the fun begins.    

You can choose either Tournament or Exhibition. There is no Career or Story mode. You will not move up the ranks from somebody’s garage to the Olympic stadium. Instead, you are thrown in a human vs. CPU (or human vs. human vs. CPU) tournament that can go for as long as you can stand, or a human vs. CPU (or human vs. human) best-of-three ping-pong-off. You do not gain stat increases after numerous wins, and there is no story progression. You simply pick your character, then pick the computer’s character, and begin the match. Table Tennis is not a game in which you progress in any meaningful way, as you do in virtually every other sports game. This is not Tiger Woods, nor is it Mario Tennis.    

Let’s talk about the motion controls. There are three control styles: Standard, Control Freak, and Sharpshooter. None of them really get the job done well. In Standard mode, all you have to do is lob the Wii Remote as the ball flies toward you. Unfortunately, your swing is not 1:1, meaning that merely jabbing the Remote toward the screen results in your character making the hit. That would be fine by me, except that the computer controls your character’s movement. There is also some annoying lag time between your swing and the onscreen character’s swing. Control Freak is a mess, requiring the Nunchuk to move your character manually while you continue swinging with the Remote. In theory, that sounds great, but in practice, it’s awful. Your character moves with all the grace and speed of a sumo wrestler, meandering left and right even as the ball flies well beyond his or her reach. The best control scheme is Sharpshooter, which is basically the same as Standard, but the Nunchuk’s analog stick allows you to aim your shot. This is a much better setup than the purely theoretical Standard method of aiming your shot by swinging, say, "up and to the right," which, in 3D space, has no real meaning. In Super Swing Golf, you are told that the left side of the Remote represents the head of the golf club. There’s no such indication in Table Tennis, so your "down and to the left" attempts are best guesses..    

Well, it’s a port of an Xbox 360 game, so it must at least look good, right? Like everything else about Table Tennis, though, the visuals disappoint. The Wii game is missing the impressive cloth physics, sharp graphics, and lighting effects which made the 360 version look so pretty. In fact, Table Tennis on the Wii looks sort of blurry and darkened. There’s no announcer, or ambient music (unless a match is getting really heated), and the characters do nothing but grunt and wince as they lunge for the ball.    

The thing that really shakes me about Table Tennis, though, is that Rockstar did virtually nothing to spice up the sport. Like I said before, there are no actual players or Career-type mode. There are no power-ups, and no stat improvements. The closest thing to "technique" you’ll find is in putting spin on the ball and using your focus meter, which actually doesn’t help very much. In all, Table Tennis is a game that just screams "lack of effort." Perhaps in the future, should Rockstar continue this franchise, they can do something to make the game more fun and appealing. There is some multiplayer appeal to be had here, but honestly, there are much better party offerings on the Wii.

Pros:
       

The only "realistic" tennis game on the market

 

While somewhat botched, the motion controls add some level of immersion to the experience

       Cons:
       

About as no-frills as you can get without being called "Gran Turismo"

 

No reason to play this game over, say, Tiger Woods or even Wii Play

               Graphics:  6.0
       The game has blurry visuals, bad lighting, no cloth physics. Also, there’s just not much to look at when you’re talking about two people and a little green table.

               Sound:  4.0
       What sound?

               Control:  6.0
       Motion controls add to the gameplay, sure, but they’re not perfect by any means.

                      Gameplay:  5.0
       You’re whacking the Wii Remote at an imaginary ball, and you’ll miss half the time because of the lag. The Sharpshooter control scheme works better, but honestly, this is a half-baked pie.

 

       Lastability:  4.0
       With no single-player mode to speak of, and a "this gets old fast" multiplayer option, there is no reason to keep Table Tennis in your Wii for longer than it takes to look through your GameCube and Wii games to find a better offering.

 

       Final:  5.0
       Ultimately, there’s just no reason to buy this game. Rent it if you love the sport, but be aware that the appeal fades very quickly. There are much better sports games out there, for both the casual player and the hardcore enthusiast. Heck, the Wii Play ping-pong game is better than this.      

[Expect plenty of cinematic zombie fodder in the coming years in the form of animation and live-action.]

174

TalkBack / Capcom Plans CG Resident Evil Movie

« on: October 29, 2007, 03:56:19 PM »

Expect plenty of cinematic zombie fodder in the coming years in the form of animation and live-action.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/newsArt.cfm?artid=14705

 Biohazard: Degeneration will be Capcom’s first foray into CG film waters. The film is already in production in Japan in partnership with Sony Pictures Entertainment Japan, and will released in 2008 in the Land of the Rising Sun.    

According to Capcom, Degeneration will feature a brand-new storyline, and will not be connected in any way to the live-action Resident Evil films. So successful have the recent RE films been, in fact, that a fourth entry is already in pre-production.    

Resident Evil is not the first video game series to get a CG film translation. Square (before its merger with Enix) brought its epic Final Fantasy series to the big screen, only to be met with a poor reception.

[I guess he's wearing jeans now.]

175

TalkBack / REVIEWS: Crash of the Titans

« on: October 26, 2007, 07:25:07 AM »

I guess he's wearing jeans now.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=14681

 Well, folks, like the mythical phoenix of olden times, Crash Bandicoot has risen from the ashes once again to take the form of "Crash of the Titans," a fully 3D adventure for the DS. I understand that a Wii version is also available. Having not played the console counterpart, however, I cannot comment on the accuracy of its translation to DS. The gist is that Crash of the Titans is a basic platformer with lots of tedious combat and an interesting gimmick. The plot is not entirely clear, but Crash’s old nemesis, Dr. Neo Cortex, has captured the mystical mask spirits of Wumpa Island, and he intends to use their energies to power his giant disco robot, the Cortexbot. Crash isn’t about to let that happen, no sir, and with some help from Coco Bandicoot and Aku Aku, a mask you save during the game’s opening sequence, Crash will bring Cortex down, using the very mutants he’s created to stop you.    

I will say right off the bat that I don’t like the storyline, which is not told very well. What, exactly is Neo Cortex going to do with a giant disco robot? Why can’t he just use a couple of D batteries to power it up? Why is there a horrible laugh track during the cut-scenes? And why does that laugh occur in places where no joke has been told? Perhaps I’m simply unfamiliar with the franchise’s sense of humor (the only other Crash game I played was the PSOne Naughty Dog original), but I kept longing for a way to skip the entire cut-scene—not just the spoken dialogue. Yes, by the way, there’s spoken dialogue, and it’s fairly impressive, but it adds nothing to the story.    

But it’s really the gameplay that saves "Crash of the Titans." Essentially it’s a collect-a-thon-platformer-brawler, and that’s a good thing. Crash can double-jump, punch, kick, and dodge (like in God of War!). Whenever Crash stuns an enemy through asskickery, he can "jack" them by slapping Aku Aku on the critter’s face. Crash now controls the enemy, who can do useful things like attack other enemies and, in the case of larger creatures, destroy large boxes and travel through water and/or lava. This gimmick works, thanks to the wide variety of creatures you can overtake. While it’s true that the enemy types boil down into half a dozen wireframes with different skins applied, and, honestly, the small enemies all have basically the same attack while the larger enemies have maybe three different attacks, possessing your attacker is always fun and useful. And while small critters can’t take the pummeling that big bruisers can, it’s always better to let a monster take the hits than Crash, who dies way too quickly from exposure to fists and feet. The same enemies also tend to get stronger later in the game, which feels kind of cheap and, at times, can be extremely frustrating.    

Amaze Entertainment, the developers of this game, tried to incorporate the touch screen as much as possible, but because you use the D-pad for movement and the ABXY buttons for jumping, punching, and kicking, actual touch screen interaction is awkward and, happily, not required. Ideally, you would "flick" the Aku Aku icon in the middle of the touch screen toward a stunned enemy in order to jack it. Just press B instead. With many enemy attacks, you can either press a big button on the touch screen (labeled "attack") or just press B. The most compelling attacks, though, come in the form of blowing into the DS microphone, which is actually fun (or you can just press B). When traveling to a different island, you must draw Crash’s destination on the touch screen, sort of like in Phantom Hourglass but without the intuitiveness. The game doesn’t always register your drawn path, so it may take several tries to successfully start Crash on his boat ride.    

While "Crash of the Titans" encourages exploration in order to find all doo-dads in every stage, the extremely linear level layouts inhibit that goal. Crash has several goals in each area, aside from merely getting to the end of the course. He must destroy all the crates in a stage, find a required amount of Mojo (wrought from defeated enemies and also found sitting around, like coins in Mario). Should Crash find the time, he can invest in bronze, silver, and gold masks, as well. And after beating a course, Crash can try a special event, which generally involves navigating a course by way of touch screen. Completing all the goals in a level nets you a gem. There are four gems in each level, and I can’t imagine what happens when you collect all the gems in the game. So you collect lots of things in order to collect other things. That’s deep.    

At any rate, collecting Mojo doo-dads allows Crash to upgrade his move set, health, defense, etc. These are not skills you will need for the game. I shudder to think how utterly powerful Crash’s kick would be at the highest attack level, but it’s pointless to imagine such a scenario, as most of your fighting will done on the back of a gorilla-like creature, whose own moves cannot be upgraded. And really, you can beat all the levels and all the bosses with minimal effort. This is not a difficult game. In fact, I beat it in about three hours. Of course, I didn’t collect every little thing.    

At the end of the day, Crash of the Titans is a mediocre game with some interesting ideas. Crash Bandicoot fans should enjoy it, but gamers looking for a decent platformer on their DS should look elsewhere.

Pros:
       

Good looking, genuine 3D graphics that are colorful and distinct

 

"Jacking" is an interesting concept

 

The gameplay is exciting and fast-moving

       Cons:
       

Despite the interesting gameplay, there is very little variety

 

The environments and enemy types all blend together

 

Crash looks nothing like an actual bandicoot

               Graphics:  7.0
       Can’t fault the 3D look, but I would have liked to have seen more varied environments and more distinct enemy type wireframes instead of more skins.

               Sound:  6.5
       Gotta love the hammy voice acting. The music is less than inspiring and fades rather quickly into the background.

               Control:  8.0
       This score would’ve been much lower, were I forced to use the touch screen instead of the B button during combat. The only place I can really fault the control is when making precarious platform jumps—it’s tough to tell how far I should be jumping.

                      Gameplay:  7.0
       It’s over before you know it, but Crash of the Titans manages to keep you on your toes, and even though you’ll find yourself doing the same thing over and over again, it never seems dull. There’s nothing quite like riding a gigantic sphinx and crushing fools with your giant stone fists.

 

       Lastability:  7.0
       If you want to find all the gems, you’ll be playing through stages several times to try to find all the required doohinkies and whatchamacallits. Also, if you have Crash or Spyro GBA games, try sticking them in the DS’s GBA slot before you turn Crash of the Titans on. You might get a bonus or two.

 

       Final:  7.5
       Crash of the Titans gets the job done well, but the job doesn’t last very long, and the employees tend to get repetitive motion injuries. That is to say, it’s a short game that has very little gameplay variety. Crash fans will eat it up, though, and younger gamers who like to collect ‘em all will certainly get their fill.