Post by: Swordsplay on December 02, 2003, 04:15:34 AM
No offensive jokes, keep the jokes clean so it wont get locked like last time.
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If you ate pasta and anitpasta at the same time, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Post by: twinkletoes on December 02, 2003, 01:45:59 PM
A. A zombie baby dressed as Dan Rather.
Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. A nun being devoured by Satanic zombie babies.
Q. What's red and gray and splashes?
A. A zombie baby playing in a puddle of brains.
Zombies ROCK!
Post by: KnowsNothing on December 02, 2003, 01:49:14 PM
I say we turn this into a riddle thread. I'm always up for a good mind-bender.
Sadly, I have none to share. 
Post by: Ms.Pikmin on December 02, 2003, 02:11:47 PM
Post by: Hostile Creation on December 02, 2003, 02:14:40 PM
I got Ms. Pikmin on my side now, my word game rival. You are doomed! Resistance is foo. . . fu. . . POINTLESS!!!
Post by: twinkletoes on December 02, 2003, 02:30:52 PM
*There were three people stuck on an island because their boat sank. Those people were a father and his 2 sons. They walked around exploring the island until they found a smaller, but helpful boat. The only problem was, that it could only hold 200 pounds. The father was 200 pounds, and both the boys were 100 pounds. How will they get across if all of them together would be 400 lb.??*
I'll let you guys try to figure it out and will tell you the answer in a bit....it's kinda an easy riddle but hey!
Post by: ib2kool4u912 on December 02, 2003, 03:19:45 PM
Quote
Originally posted by: twinkletoes
I gots a riddle for you...ok...
*There were three people stuck on an island because their boat sank. Those people were a father and his 2 sons. They walked around exploring the island until they found a smaller, but helpful boat. The only problem was, that it could only hold 200 pounds. The father was 200 pounds, and both the boys were 100 pounds. How will they get across if all of them together would be 400 lb.??*
I'll let you guys try to figure it out and will tell you the answer in a bit....it's kinda an easy riddle but hey!
Post by: Grey Ninja on December 02, 2003, 03:59:24 PM
Post by: twinkletoes on December 02, 2003, 04:18:16 PM
Post by: Hostile Creation on December 02, 2003, 04:24:33 PM
Post by: twinkletoes on December 02, 2003, 04:26:52 PM
Quote
Originally posted by: twinkletoes
I gots a riddle for you...ok...
*There were three people stuck on an island because their boat sank. Those people were a father and his 2 sons. They walked around exploring the island until they found a smaller, but helpful boat. The only problem was, that it could only hold 200 pounds. The father was 200 pounds, and both the boys were 100 pounds. How will they get across if all of them together would be 400 lb.??*
I'll let you guys try to figure it out and will tell you the answer in a bit....it's kinda an easy riddle but hey!
Come on guys! Isn't anybody gonna try it?
Post by: Ms.Pikmin on December 02, 2003, 04:27:41 PM
Post by: Hostile Creation on December 02, 2003, 04:29:40 PM
Post by: Bill Aurion on December 02, 2003, 04:35:59 PM
Post by: twinkletoes on December 02, 2003, 04:40:23 PM
(why am I telling them this? They are way way way way off! But oh well.)
Yep a few more guesses and you will be there.
(There I go again. Stupid consience.)
Post by: twinkletoes on December 02, 2003, 04:41:59 PM
Quote
Originally posted by: Ms.Pikmin
twinkletoes, he's not being rude. Rude is creating numerous pointless threads that are sometimes duplicates of old threads that died long ago.
I can always do with a few laughs, however.
Post by: Grey Ninja on December 02, 2003, 05:47:22 PM
I think I was as polite as I could muster. Swordsplay has not posted a single intelligent thing since he has come here. I patiently ignored him, but really, enough is enough. He has created more threads in a week than I have in the entire time I was here. That wouldn't be a problem, if they actually served a purpose. But they are all threads that seem to exist just so that he could exercise his power to create a thread. I mean, how many "spam in response to my post" threads do you really need?
Post by: pimpcube on December 02, 2003, 06:55:54 PM
pimpcube
no one remembers
he's been here for 2 years, but hasn't posted in forever
anyways i got the answer to the riddle, i couldn't resist.
answer:
the two boys get on the boat and go across
one boy gets back in and goes to the island
the dad takes the boat across and leaves the boy on the island
the other boy then takes the boat back to the island, and both boys return
-peace
Post by: oohhboy on December 03, 2003, 12:41:50 AM
Post by: Hostile Creation on December 03, 2003, 01:43:38 AM
Post by: Ms.Pikmin on December 03, 2003, 04:51:34 AM
Post by: Bill Aurion on December 03, 2003, 08:34:45 AM
Chris: Hmmm...This door is locked, so I will waste an hour or two finding the special key...I won't bother shooting off the lock...
Post by: KnowsNothing on December 03, 2003, 08:40:28 AM
Post by: Swordsplay on December 03, 2003, 08:41:48 AM
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Post by: vudu on December 03, 2003, 09:19:31 AM
Post by: Swordsplay on December 03, 2003, 09:55:55 AM
Post by: twinkletoes on December 03, 2003, 11:37:21 AM
LOL oohboy, the boat would sink if they hung onto the side.
Post by: Hostile Creation on December 03, 2003, 01:23:52 PM
And you, twinkletoes, cannot deny the validity of my answer!
Post by: twinkletoes on December 03, 2003, 01:44:48 PM
Hostile Creation is da BOMB! 
Edit: calling the coast guard is an awsome idea too, but I like the subway one better.
Post by: Bill Aurion on December 03, 2003, 01:46:32 PM
QuoteActually, I believe he meant this answer... ^_^ Which makes a whole lot more sense than the correct one...
Originally posted by: Hostile Creation
Or maybe the Dad goes to shore and calls in the Coast Guard, so he doesn't even have to go back to the island.
Post by: Hostile Creation on December 03, 2003, 01:47:27 PM
Post by: twinkletoes on December 03, 2003, 02:05:07 PM
Post by: Hostile Creation on December 03, 2003, 03:50:53 PM
Am I even on the right track?
Post by: KnowsNothing on December 03, 2003, 03:54:42 PM
________________________________________________________________
This riddle is very difficult (got it straight from some website):
You have 9 gold coins. All 9 coins look exactly the same but one coin is a fake and is either lighter or heavier than the other 8 coins. You have a scale - balance type with 2 trays - but can only load it twice. How do you find the fake gold coin?
Post by: Hostile Creation on December 03, 2003, 03:56:10 PM
Post by: manunited4eva22 on December 03, 2003, 04:18:08 PM
Load 4 coins to each side, and leave one out.
If they balance your one extra coin is it, if not, you have it down to 4.
If it goes past that it would be luck of the draw to see which of the two other coins would be the overweight coin.
Post by: KnowsNothing on December 03, 2003, 04:21:38 PM
It's not luck of the draw, either. What kind of riddle would that be?
Post by: manunited4eva22 on December 03, 2003, 04:34:19 PM
Post by: Bill Aurion on December 03, 2003, 05:06:03 PM
Post by: oohhboy on December 04, 2003, 01:14:41 AM
Shot bill.
Post by: Fish on December 04, 2003, 01:59:13 AM
Post by: KnowsNothing on December 04, 2003, 09:44:29 AM
(you did cheat didn't you?)
Post by: Bill Aurion on December 04, 2003, 09:45:33 AM
Post by: KnowsNothing on December 04, 2003, 09:47:11 AM
Seriously, I love riddles but I suck mightly at them. What's hard for me is easy for just about everyone else. :\
Stupid smart Bill. ;P
Post by: Ms.Pikmin on December 04, 2003, 10:01:35 AM
Quote
Originally posted by: KnowsNothingYou have 9 gold coins. All 9 coins look exactly the same but one coin is a fake and is either lighter or heavier than the other 8 coins. You have a scale - balance type with 2 trays - but can only load it twice. How do you find the fake gold coin?
You don't weigh them. Lick all of them and lay them up your arm. Whichever one turns your skin green is the fake coin. Yay! I'm so smart! Whoohooo!
Post by: KnowsNothing on December 04, 2003, 10:03:40 AM
Post by: nitsu niflheim on December 04, 2003, 10:04:39 AM
Post by: KnowsNothing on December 04, 2003, 10:06:04 AM
....h-h-how many?
Post by: Ms.Pikmin on December 04, 2003, 10:21:22 AM
Oh,wait. I got it. Since the gold coin would be pretty clean, then the fake is probably dirtier from all of the fraudulent use it's been given. So, lick them all and the one that makes you sick is the fake coin!
Post by: twinkletoes on December 04, 2003, 01:43:33 PM
Quote
Originally posted by: nitsujdark
Licking coins is not a healthy thing to do, do you realize how many germs live and fester on coins?
Well, you could always wash them with soap and water first, that way, you won't have to be eating germs...aren't I just so smart?
Edit: ignore Ian's idea, mines better
Post by: Ian Sane on December 04, 2003, 01:52:12 PM
Post by: Hostile Creation on December 04, 2003, 03:53:31 PM
I say you just spend the damn coin and hope the cashier doesn't take all this time to figure it out.
Post by: oohhboy on December 05, 2003, 12:51:34 AM
Post by: Swordsplay on December 05, 2003, 04:13:51 AM
---quote by twinkletoes----
Do fish ever get thirsty? If you stick a sticker on a non stick pan would it stick? Why does it say on childrens tylenol not to operate heavy machinery or vehicles when they are just kids!?
---end quote---
Post by: Jdub03 on December 05, 2003, 06:30:24 AM
...................................................................................................................................................................
But if the scale is unbalanced, unload two coins at a time checking to see if the scale remains unbalanced. If it does then the coins removed are good coins. Place the good coins that were removed from the scale into a pile. Coninue to remove two coins at a time until the scale becomes balanced or the remaing two coins are left on the scale. The trick is, the tray still has only been loaded once. For the final loading, weigh one of the coins on the scale with the known good coins in the pile. If it evens out, both coins are good and the one that was previuosly removed was bad. If the scales are unbalanced you know which coin is the bad one because the good coin was taken from the "good pile".
I hope this is that made since. Its been so long since Iv'e heard this riddle.
Post by: vudu on December 05, 2003, 06:56:06 AM
Joseph Stalin.
great quote jdub. in fact, i used to have it as my idle message. in fact, i actually had it up on 9/11/01 when the first plane struck the world trade center. i took it down very shortly after the second plane hit, and haven't used it since. it just didn't seem appropriate any more.
Post by: Swordsplay on December 05, 2003, 08:15:21 AM
1.) You have three american coins, and one cannot be a nickel, yet it has to be 20 cents, how do you do accomplish this?
2.) You have 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
3.) If a papa bull, a mama bull, and a baby bull are in a pen, how many bulls are there in the pen?
Post by: Ian Sane on December 05, 2003, 08:26:21 AM
1 dime and 2 nickels. It's a play on words. One cannot be a nickel. The dime is the "one" that is not a nickel.
"2.) You have 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?"
Two because that's how many you took with you.
Post by: Swordsplay on December 05, 2003, 08:28:31 AM
3.) If a papa bull, a mama bull, and a baby bull are in a pen, how many bulls are there in the pen?
Post by: Ian Sane on December 05, 2003, 08:31:58 AM
I think the answer is 1. Each bull is in it's own pen. But that's a total guess.
Or it's one because a female bull is cow and a baby bull is a calf.
Post by: Swordsplay on December 05, 2003, 08:35:45 AM
Post by: Ian Sane on December 05, 2003, 08:46:07 AM
Here's a mathematical riddle I made up in high school. I have a theory that infinity x 0 = 1. How did I reach that conclusion?
Post by: Swordsplay on December 05, 2003, 08:54:20 AM
infinitely means there is no end
so no end times 0 (nothing) is:
no end times nothing = nothing, because their is nothing to times it to, thats why i think its 0. In other words, i have no idea how you reached your conclusion.
Post by: Hostile Creation on December 05, 2003, 09:26:57 AM
How do you know baby bull isn't also a cow, though?
Post by: Ian Sane on December 05, 2003, 09:39:18 AM
Yes but in math anything times infinity is infinity so if you multiply infinity by 0 which rule applies?
Besides the point is to try to guess how one can come to that conclusion not whether or not it's correct.
"My friend figured a way to make 1 = 2."
They do that in 1984 using doublethink but that's really a clever way to do it.
Post by: Hostile Creation on December 05, 2003, 09:49:09 AM
Post by: Jdub03 on December 05, 2003, 12:06:14 PM
Anyway I read 1984 back in highschool. It really was a good book. Im trying to find the movie, hopefully its good.
Post by: phatboy on December 05, 2003, 12:39:33 PM
Edit: oops, I didn't realize there was a 4th page...sorry.
Edit2: Who makes it, has no need of it.
Who buys it, has no use for it.
Who uses it can neither see nor feel it?
This is kind of an easy one.
Post by: Swordsplay on December 06, 2003, 12:57:52 PM
Post by: KnowsNothing on December 06, 2003, 02:54:48 PM
Swordsplay: But HC brought up a great point. The calf could be either male or female.
Yes, there is a way in which 1=2. Yet since it totally confuses people all over the world, the high kings of math decided to put it in exile in Siberia.
Post by: Bill Aurion on December 06, 2003, 04:35:27 PM
a = b
a^2 = a x b
a^2-b^2 = (a x b)-(b^2 )
(a + b)(a - b) = b(a - b)
(a + b) = b
a + a = a
2a = a
2 = 1
^_^''
Edit: Ian, I remember my Calc teacher talking about that infinity riddle...
N x (1/N) = 1
N = any number
And as you get closer to infinity, the identity will still hold true...
(infinity) x (1/infinity) must equal 1, but (1/infinity) is generally known as zero...Therefore, infinity x 0 = 1
Weird, huh?
Post by: Hostile Creation on December 06, 2003, 06:22:19 PM
Come to think of it, twas not my friend that made it up, but his sort of friend. Or maybe not made up. I don't care. Sleep.
Post by: manunited4eva22 on December 07, 2003, 04:55:24 AM
Post by: TOY on December 07, 2003, 12:24:13 PM
When is 99 more than 100?
TOY
Post by: phatboy on December 07, 2003, 05:31:51 PM
Edit: Just use your i-m-a-g-i-n-a-t-i-o-n!
Post by: Bill Aurion on December 07, 2003, 06:14:14 PM
99 is more than 100 when both are negative...
Post by: TOY on December 07, 2003, 06:32:22 PM
TOY
Post by: Swordsplay on December 08, 2003, 05:22:38 AM
Takes the cake:
"Boy, he really takes the cake." Where? Where did he take the cake? To the movies? Down to the bakery, to see the other cakes? And how come he takes the cake? How come he doesn't take the pie? A pie is easier to carry than a cake. "Easy as pie."
Post by: Ian Sane on December 08, 2003, 07:09:07 AM
N x (1/N) = 1
N = any number
And as you get closer to infinity, the identity will still hold true...
(infinity) x (1/infinity) must equal 1, but (1/infinity) is generally known as zero...Therefore, infinity x 0 = 1"
Congrats. You got it. I figured it out in Calc class when my teacher was explaining how 1/infinity equals 0 because with 1/N as N increases (ie: reaches infinity) the value of the fraction becomes smaller and smaller and thus as N reaches infinity the value of the fraction reaches 0. Algebra shows that if 1/infinity = 0 then infinity x 0 = 1.
Post by: Swordsplay on December 08, 2003, 07:55:23 AM
Post by: Ms.Pikmin on December 08, 2003, 08:33:38 AM
Post by: TOY on December 08, 2003, 12:12:30 PM
TOY
Post by: Hostile Creation on December 08, 2003, 12:27:29 PM
Post by: TOY on December 08, 2003, 02:49:56 PM
Quote
Heh, clever
Thanks.
TOY
Post by: manunited4eva22 on December 08, 2003, 04:03:48 PM
the recriprocal principle states that any number times its inverse will be 1
well 0/1 *1/0 should equal 0 by the math, but is 1 by the principal.
Post by: Swordsplay on December 12, 2003, 04:44:23 AM
Post by: Grey Ninja on December 12, 2003, 07:39:55 AM
Quote
Originally posted by: Bill
Ah, I remember that 1 = 2 paradigm...
a = b
a^2 = a x b
a^2-b^2 = (a x b)-(b^2 )
(a + b)(a - b) = b(a - b)
(a + b) = b
a + a = a
2a = a
2 = 1
^_^''
You are going astray in the 4th step. since a = b, a - b will ALWAYS be zero. In step 4, since you are dividing by a - b, you are dividing by zero, which if you will note, is one of the big restrictions in math, as it is an invalid operation. Hence, 2 != 1.
Quote
Originally posted by: Bill
Edit: Ian, I remember my Calc teacher talking about that infinity riddle...
N x (1/N) = 1
N = any number
And as you get closer to infinity, the identity will still hold true...
(infinity) x (1/infinity) must equal 1, but (1/infinity) is generally known as zero...Therefore, infinity x 0 = 1
Weird, huh?
infinity is NOT a number, but a concept. What you are dealing with here is a "limit". 1/infinity is not zero, as infinity can never be reached. There will always be a higher number at some point. Also, if you rearrange things:
infinity/infinity is clearly 1.
Quote
the recriprocal principle states that any number times its inverse will be 1
well 0/1 *1/0 should equal 0 by the math, but is 1 by the principal.
division by zero is not allowed, so I don't really know what principal you are talking about.
Sorry guys, I was an engineering student for a year, and then switched to Computer Science. If that makes me qualified for anything, it's detecting bad math.
Post by: Swordsplay on December 12, 2003, 07:49:42 AM
Post by: ib2kool4u912 on December 12, 2003, 09:59:56 AM
Post by: yellowfellow on December 12, 2003, 02:44:26 PM
Quote
What exactly is "viewer discretion"? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air!
now you're just talking about semantics
Post by: Swordsplay on December 15, 2003, 05:20:09 AM
Quote
What exactly is "viewer discretion"? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air!
Well, its true isn't it?
Oh, another joke/riddle/whatever you wanna call it......
Phrases on an airline that i dont consider "english":
"Put your seat back forward."
-Well, i dont bend that way, if i could put my seat back forward i would be in porno movies!
"Your on a nonstop flight."
-Well, i dont care for that. No, I insist my flight stop, preferable at an airport, not those housing and development stops that seem to interupt the flow of my day!
"We will now board those traveling with small children."
-What about those traveling with large children?
"You should experience a slight change in cabin pressure, a mask will drop down in front of you, place the mask over your face and breath normally."
-I have no problem with that, I always breath normally in a 600 mph vertical dive into the ground!
Post by: Swordsplay on December 18, 2003, 06:32:51 AM
Oh, another joke/riddle/whatever you wanna call it......
Phrases on an airline that i dont consider "english":
"Put your seat back forward."
-Well, i dont bend that way, if i could put my seat back forward i would be in porno movies!
"Your on a nonstop flight."
-Well, i dont care for that. No, I insist my flight stop, preferable at an airport, not those housing and development stops that seem to interupt the flow of my day!
"We will now board those traveling with small children."
-What about those traveling with large children?
"You should experience a slight change in cabin pressure, a mask will drop down in front of you, place the mask over your face and breath normally."
-I have no problem with that, I always breath normally in a 600 mph vertical dive into the ground!
---end quote---
I just thought of another one to add to the list:
"Get on the plane, get on the plane."
-I say, "Screw you, i'm getting in the plane, let Evil Kanevil get on the plane, ill be in here with you guys in uniform, there seems to be less wind in here!"
Post by: Swordsplay on December 21, 2003, 10:18:59 AM
Post by: evil intentions on December 21, 2003, 11:28:58 AM
clausetraphobic
Post by: manunited4eva22 on December 21, 2003, 02:56:38 PM
Post by: vudu on January 13, 2004, 02:33:23 PM
ebay.com: Xbox with Many Games and More - No Reserve
