Mr. Reg Mellor, the “king of ferret legging,” paced across his tiny Yorkshire miner’s cottage as he explained the rules of the English sport that he has come to dominate rather late in life.
“Ay lad,” said the 72-year-old champion, “no jockstraps allowed. No underpants — nothin’ whatever. And it’s no good with tight trousers, mind ye. Little bah----- have to be able to move around inside there from ankle to ankle.”
Some 11 years ago I first heard of the strange pastime called ferret legging, and for a decade since then I have sought a publication possessed of sufficient intelligence and vision to allow me to travel to northern England in search of the fabled players of the game.
Basically, the contest involves the tying of a competitor’s trousers at the ankles and the subsequent insertion into those trousers of a couple of peculiarly vicious fur-coated, footlong carnivores called ferrets. The brave contestant’s belt is then pulled tight, and he proceeds to stand there in front of the judges as long as he can, while animals with claws like hypodermic needles and teeth like number 16 carpet tacks try their damnedest to get out.
From a dark and obscure past, the sport has made an astonishing comeback in the past 15 years. When I first heard about ferret legging, the world record stood at 40 painful seconds of “keepin’ ’em down,” as they say in ferret-legging circles. A few years later the dreaded one-minute mark was finally surpassed.
. . .
Title: Re: PSA: DO NOT Put the ferrets in their place
Post by: oohhboy on May 12, 2016, 02:16:30 AM
..............
Title: Re: PSA: DO NOT Put the ferrets in their place
Post by: Shaymin on May 12, 2016, 07:09:54 AM
dafuq
Title: Re: PSA: DO NOT Put the ferrets in their place
Post by: Soren on May 12, 2016, 11:12:09 AM
Sure
Title: Re: PSA: DO NOT Put the ferrets in their place
Post by: King of Twitch on May 13, 2016, 03:34:01 PM
Don't give me that "......" mister I know your type! I bet you just looooooove ferret legging parties!
Title: Re: PSA: DO NOT Put the ferrets in their place
Post by: supermario2k on May 13, 2016, 04:44:02 PM
Every time I wander into this forum I scratch my head wondering what they are talking about. Then I realized for the first time today why I don't get it. Well then.
Title: Re: PSA: DO NOT Put the ferrets in their place
Post by: Phil on May 19, 2016, 09:27:05 PM
Sorry to bump an almost week-old topic, but I wanted to thank you, Zap, personally for this reminder. Almost did something I would have regretted that was ferret-related.
Title: Re: PSA: DO NOT Put the ferrets in their place
Post by: King of Twitch on May 20, 2016, 12:20:40 AM
This warms my heart. Ferretal accidents account for 1 in 5 drunken animal party game related deaths, so always be sure to speard arenesss.
Title: Re: PSA: DO NOT Put the ferrets in their place
Post by: supermario2k on May 20, 2016, 01:43:27 PM
