Community Forums => I'M BACK => Topic started by: Stogi on July 07, 2009, 06:22:55 PM
Title: Have you ever seen this happen first-hand?
Post by: Stogi on July 07, 2009, 06:22:55 PM
I keep cracking up randomly over the memory of something I witnessed last Saturday. It was quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen.
I was driving and my friend was sitting shotgun....
Now before I get into what exactly happened, let me explain a little something about my friend. As much as I love him, he's a little bitch sometimes. When drunk he gets even worse and becomes pissed off when things are not going his way and especially when he is not the center of attention.
So anyway, we are escorting a couple of girls after the bar back to my buddies place (he lives on the lake). While I'm driving back, I continue to tease everyone in the car. The girls were laughing and having fun, but my friend was oddly quiet. I shrug it off and continue the conversation with the girls. They started asking me all sorts of questions about a range of topics, but of course, it turned to sex (GP, I swear I didn't bring it up). While all this is happening, I look over and my friend now has his arms crossed. Odd...He should be all smiles now.
We're getting closer now. Like most girls who go home with strange men, these girls we're some freaks. A few words and a couple dares later, they start making out and fondling each other in the back seat. I just burst laughing at the spectacle and I try to give my buddy a pound. Completely ignoring me, he asks if he can smoke a cigarette in my car. I reply "How many times have you been in this car? **** no you can't smoke a cigarette!" He starts pleading with me telling me that he really needs to smoke this cigarette. I reply "So you can spit up more blood? I thought you were done smoking? Don't be a dumbass. If you want to smoke, you can smoke at the crib." He starts to raise his voice. The girls stop kissing and focus on our conversation. "Who do you think your raising your voice too? Better behave or I'll kill us all!" While laughing maniacally, I speed up and swerve wildly back and forth. I soon chill out and now everyone is laughing....except him.
He says one thing, "Well **** you then!" and this motherfucker opens the door and jumps out the car! But he didn't dive and roll, he literally tried to run! I had no idea what to do; all I could do was watch! As soon as his face hit the ground, I hit the brakes and jumped out of the car.
"What the hell is wrong you?!" I help him up, but he throws me off. I notice he has a huge bruise on his cheek and arm. I start laughing into tears.
"Why? hahaha Wh hahahahaha Why?!?! Why would you do that?" He looks at me, lights up his cigarette and starts walking down the road. I don't know how concerned I should be, so instead of being his fucking therapist, I jump in the car and follow him. I slowly pull up to him, roll down the window and yell "Hey....HEY!.....How much?!....Well **** you then punk!" Again, the girls laugh, but he's not in the mood. I roll the window back up cause the smoke is getting in my car. I talk to the girls and make up some story but don't reveal any details; basically I do him the favor of making him look "complicated" rather than a "goober".
He finally finishes his cigarette and hops in. The girls start to swoon over him and this son of bitch has the audacity to crack a smile. I guess he was threaten by me even though I had no intentions to do anything with these girls.
We get back to the house and everyone is already there. They ask me "What took you guys so long?" With no emotion on my face, I walk up to the hookah, already in session, jack the hose and hit it while staring them all in the face. After blowing out a hit, I replied flatly "____ jumped out of the car." They looked around puzzled, "Wait, what?!" I repeated "HE FUCKING JUMPED OUT OF MY CAR! IT WAS THE FUNNIEST **** I'VE EVER SEEN! Look at his face!"
I proceed to tell them what I told you. Throughout the rest of the night, we would bring it back up like, "Hey guys, remember that time ____ jumped out of a car?"
Title: Re: Have you ever seen this happen first-hand?
Post by: Plugabugz on July 07, 2009, 06:26:39 PM
LOL i can't say i've ever seen that first hand. I wish i had some of my own stories to tell, but they just aren't appropriate for anyone here.
Title: Re: Have you ever seen this happen first-hand?
Post by: Stratos on July 07, 2009, 06:36:21 PM
Was he drunk? That freaking makes no sense. Funny though.
Title: Re: Have you ever seen this happen first-hand?
Post by: Stogi on July 07, 2009, 06:44:04 PM
He was definitely drunk. But that still doesn't explain it. I wouldn't say I was going fast either, maybe about 30 mph, but that's still pretty fast considering.
Title: Re: Have you ever seen this happen first-hand?
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on July 07, 2009, 06:55:41 PM
I've seen it happen, only it was a "big boy" out of a truck doing about 45mph & there was nothing funny about it.... at first.
the fucker bounced an rolled and bounced and rolled, then stopped and didn't move. We pulled the truck up next to him, thinking he might be dead, and that's when he slightly turned his head, moving his lips up off the side of the road and said, "**** you mother fuckers.... I hate you all"
Title: Re: Have you ever seen this happen first-hand?
Post by: Patchkid15 on July 07, 2009, 07:01:58 PM
I once flung open my door... while sitting shotgun on a highway... I was chewing on a Jolly Rancher and started choking. I didnt jump out, but thats the closest i can think of
Title: Re: Have you ever seen this happen first-hand?
Post by: EasyCure on July 07, 2009, 09:02:41 PM
did he ever explain why he did it..? Or was he really just that pissy that you were winning the girls over?
Thats fucking crazy, i dunno if i can laugh at it (since i don't know the guy).
Title: Re: Have you ever seen this happen first-hand?
Post by: Stogi on July 07, 2009, 09:20:41 PM
I've seen it happen, only it was a "big boy" out of a truck doing about 45mph & there was nothing funny about it.... at first.
the fucker bounced an rolled and bounced and rolled, then stopped and didn't move. We pulled the truck up next to him, thinking he might be dead, and that's when he slightly turned his head, moving his lips up off the side of the road and said, "**** you mother fuckers.... I hate you all"
Why'd he jump out? And what do you mean by "big boy?"
I once flung open my door... while sitting shotgun on a highway... I was chewing on a Jolly Rancher and started choking. I didnt jump out, but thats the closest i can think of
Did you open the door because your were choking? It seems like an odd decision on your part.
--------------------------------
Man, that whole day was one hilarious moment after another. That's what you get, I guess, when you mix dynamite, a boat, booze, and skinny-dipping. Maybe I should post some video?
did he ever explain why he did it..? Or was he really just that pissy that you were winning the girls over?
Thats fucking crazy, i dunno if i can laugh at it (since i don't know the guy).
I haven't talked to him since that night, so I'm not sure. But two guys (of which one is damn near celibate) in a new city with two girls making out with each other just waiting to arrive at our destination to get naked sounds like a great fuckin' time. There is no reason for any single man would want to jump out of a car.
His little smile when he got back in the car worried me though. I always knew he was an attention whore, but jumping out of a car is ridiculous.
And yes...you should definitely laugh at this dude. It's hilarious. I've never seen someone's face hit the asphalt at that speed. It was funny as hell.
Title: Re: Have you ever seen this happen first-hand?
Post by: EasyCure on July 07, 2009, 09:27:42 PM
one of my long time friends is an attention whore like that but geez, i dont think he'd ever jump out a freaking car. I think your friends just insane lol
Oh and i don't wanna speak for BnM but i took "big boy" to mean he was a big round fellow, and thats why he "bounced" on the pavement twice. Maybe i'm wrong.
Title: Re: Have you ever seen this happen first-hand?
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on July 07, 2009, 09:39:37 PM
You are right, he probably weighs in @ 300+ lbs. He was **** faced drunk and sometimes gets in a self destructive mood. Our other friends narrowly escaped a jail sentence earlier in the night by ditching a car after he got in a wreck (drinking lol) and I think my my boy. the "big boy", wanted to go somewhere other than where his brother was taking him, which I believe was home.
Both of the brothers are crazy, but for him to just nose dive out the car onto the asphalt was a real WTF moment. His brother almost didn't even stop the truck to go get him. The truck did belong to the guy who jumped out of it BTW.
Title: Re: Have you ever seen this happen first-hand?
Post by: Stogi on July 07, 2009, 09:53:19 PM
Damn, that is a big dude.
Title: Re: Have you ever seen this happen first-hand?
Post by: Patchkid15 on July 07, 2009, 09:54:13 PM
I once flung open my door... while sitting shotgun on a highway... I was chewing on a Jolly Rancher and started choking. I didnt jump out, but thats the closest i can think of
Did you open the door because your were choking? It seems like an odd decision on your part.
I was Choking... and just reached forward. My hand must have grabbed the handle, and sure enough the door flew open.
Luckily it was a Jolly Rancher and just slowly melted until i could breathe again
Title: Re: Have you ever seen this happen first-hand?
Post by: Stogi on July 07, 2009, 10:14:08 PM
You know that reminds me of the raunchiest story I've ever heard about Jolly Ranchers.
I think I'm going to throw up.....but I'm glad your alright.
Title: Re: Have you ever seen this happen first-hand?
Post by: Caliban on July 07, 2009, 10:56:10 PM
Stogi's friend seems like a douche, but it was funny that he just threw himself out of the car.
I've seen it happen, only it was a "big boy" out of a truck doing about 45mph & there was nothing funny about it.... at first.
the fucker bounced an rolled and bounced and rolled, then stopped and didn't move. We pulled the truck up next to him, thinking he might be dead, and that's when he slightly turned his head, moving his lips up off the side of the road and said, "**** you mother fuckers.... I hate you all"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh man that last line... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Title: Re: Have you ever seen this happen first-hand?
Post by: Stogi on July 08, 2009, 03:26:19 AM
So I talked to my friend tonight and his decision had nothing to do with ulterior motives. He was just so drunk that what popped in his head as the right decision was followed through with the appropriate action. He thought to himself that he needed to exit the car, so he exited the car. It wasn't self-centered at all.
And I find it even more hilarious now that I know his mental train of thought; really really hilarious.
Drunk ass.
Title: Re: Have you ever seen this happen first-hand?
Post by: EasyCure on July 08, 2009, 08:43:22 AM
Lol if i ever get that drunk ya'll need to intervene.
Gotta give your friend credit though, the man is comitted. He wanted to exit the car and he did it, no matter what was going on. Even in in my most drunken state i woulda thought "i'll wait till we come to a stop" before leaving.
