Community Forums => I'M BACK => Topic started by: UncleBob on November 26, 2008, 10:23:08 AM
Title: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: UncleBob on November 26, 2008, 10:23:08 AM
Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Who would win in a knife fight?
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: Pale on November 26, 2008, 10:25:59 AM
Kangaroo has the best reach if he straps the knives to his feet.
Unless of course this fight is occurring under water? Is it?
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: BeautifulShy on November 26, 2008, 10:27:50 AM
I think it is blatantly obvious that the squid would win.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: Nick DiMola on November 26, 2008, 10:32:32 AM
I agree, the squid would take the knife wounds then crush its opponents' skulls with its massively powerful beak.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: stevey on November 26, 2008, 10:40:41 AM
Squids and kangaroos would never know how to use knifes, a monkey on the other hand... (http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y267/n64/1201229860977.jpg)
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: BeautifulShy on November 26, 2008, 10:45:16 AM
stevey the squid would just use its extra limbs and throw everybody around.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: UncleBob on November 26, 2008, 10:59:10 AM
Y'all are dumb. First, it's a knife fight, not a beak fight or a throw everyone around fight.
Second, the monkey is the only one with opposable thumbs. Instant win.
Third, the monkey can jump into the trees and get the drop on the kangaroo. Knifes strapped to his feet won't help when monkey hellfire rains from above.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: Pale on November 26, 2008, 11:02:48 AM
What if the Kangaroo draws the monkey into an area that has no trees?
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: UncleBob on November 26, 2008, 11:05:13 AM
The Monkey wouldn't be that stupid. The Squid, maybe.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: EasyCure on November 26, 2008, 11:14:11 AM
Y'all are dumb. First, it's a knife fight, not a beak fight or a throw everyone around fight.
Second, the monkey is the only one with opposable thumbs. Instant win.
Third, the monkey can jump into the trees and get the drop on the kangaroo. Knifes strapped to his feet won't help when monkey hellfire rains from above.
This, especially the first sentance. Freaking monkeys man.. thats where its at. If you don't believe a monkey would win in such a fight, you're admitting that if you were in a situation, you'd fail.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: RABicle on November 26, 2008, 11:55:50 AM
He *could*. But he doesn't have thumbs to hold them.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on November 26, 2008, 03:03:28 PM
snakes don't have thumbs either & I've seen them grip things pretty tight.
why couldn't a squid do the same? don't they have suction cups on the tentacles? c'mon 6 knives for the squid vs. 3 knives for the monkey & 2 knives for the kangaroo.
the squid has an obvious hardware advantage, not to mention a possible reach advantage.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: UncleBob on November 26, 2008, 03:09:05 PM
snakes don't have thumbs either & I've seen them grip things pretty tight.
But have you seen them thrust the things they're griping so tightly?
Quote
why couldn't a squid do the same? don't they have suction cups on the tentacles? c'mon 6 knives for the squid vs. 3 knives for the monkey & 2 knives for the kangaroo.
However, monkeys have been known to use tools. The squid and the kangaroo would look at the knife all confused while the monkey is stab, stab, stabbing away.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on November 26, 2008, 03:29:56 PM
can Lobster play too?
(http://tinyurl.com/5werxd)
Kangaroo & Monkey vs Squid & Lobster!
FIGHT!!!
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: ThePerm on November 26, 2008, 06:35:52 PM
monkeys are smart, but they have some insane add. Squids are smart, but might have a disadvantage on land, in the water the squid would win and thats why i voted squid because monkeys can't swim and i doubt kangaroos can either. Squids are also cold blooded killers, one time a man in korea was eating a living squid, but its parts crawled into his air pipe and suffocated him to death, serves him right. Kargaroos are hard to aproach, but if a monkey could he would slit its throat. Kangaroos can grasp things, but not as well as a monkey.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: UncleBob on November 26, 2008, 07:36:20 PM
I don't imangine the fight taking place in the water. I picture something more like a Squid, on land, with some kind of reverse SCUBA helmet on.
I set this up to my wife who, after the initial confusion, instantly said "The Monkey".
See, you all are wrong. Well, except for those of you who agreed with me that the Monkey would win.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on November 26, 2008, 08:37:18 PM
I picture it like this: (too much thought to follow)
Squid on land with a knife in each tentacle doing a magical floaty type thing as if it were in water. Has extremely long reach with its two striking tentacles and has a crazy 6 tentacle spinning fury attack.
kangaroo has a knife in each hand and some cock fighting claws attached to its feet. No real reach, but has a lot of power in close range attacks. Jabs with fist, rest on tail to slash with feet.
Monkey, has a major tactical advantage with is speed, agility & small size. equipped with 3 knives (one in each hand and one gripped by his tail) the monkey can jump in and out of battle and climb trees to drop in from above.
I really see the Kangaroo being at a major disadvantage and not really a factor in this fight. It really comes down to the Monkey vs the Squid & I don't see the small but quick monkey coming out on top larger, 6 armed, long reached squid in the end.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: stevey on November 26, 2008, 08:46:52 PM
You guy are extremely over estimating a squid size and power. A normal 3 foot long squid could barely lift a knife. Best it could do is try to strangle someone but the other both have knifes to cut it apart if it tried.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: ShyGuy on November 26, 2008, 10:24:09 PM
Batman with prep time.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: Arbok on November 26, 2008, 10:24:48 PM
For all you guys championing the monkey for his opposable thumbs, you are forgetting one major element: duck tape.
You guy are extremely over estimating a squid size and power. A normal 3 foot long squid could barely lift a knife. Best it could do is try to strangle someone but the other both have knifes to cut it apart if it tried.
Well, that makes you have to ask what kind of squid are we using? A giant squid would hold the knives easily. Also, what type of monkey? There are a lot of factors here.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on November 26, 2008, 11:10:46 PM
i was figuring the best each species has to offer... but that makes it a very one sided fight in favor of the (colossal aka giant)squid :D
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: UncleBob on November 27, 2008, 12:48:18 AM
Now, see, I was thinking more of a dog-fighting like situation where the animals are captured and trained to fight. Since (I think) a live Giant Squid has never actually been captured, I think that's a little unlikely. I'm going to go with an "average" Monkey vs. an "average" Squid vs. an "average" Kangaroo.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: nickmitch on November 27, 2008, 02:02:54 AM
But then we have to figure out what "average" is. Not too hard for 'roos and monkeys, but are we really sure how big squids can get? There could be some that just throw the average through the roof.
Now that I think about, what is an average species of monkey?
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: NWR_insanolord on November 27, 2008, 08:01:18 AM
My money's on Furious George.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: UncleBob on November 27, 2008, 08:37:28 AM
But then we have to figure out what "average" is. Not too hard for 'roos and monkeys, but are we really sure how big squids can get? There could be some that just throw the average through the roof.
Now that I think about, what is an average species of monkey?
If you have five giant squids and a million regular squids, those five extra large ones aren't going to throw the average off that much.
Besides, I don't mean "average" average, I mean, you tell some hunters to go out and grab five of each - whatever is "easiest" for them to nab, then you get a week to train them. You pick the best of each to fight.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: UncleBob on November 27, 2008, 08:49:52 AM
Okay, I'm using Wikipedia for scientific analysis here.
According to Wiki (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kangaroo#Overview), a large male Red Kangaroo "can be 2 metres (6 ft 7 in) tall and weigh 90 kg (200 lb)". This is the only dimensions that Wiki gives at a quick glance.
Wiki (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squid#Size) says the following in regards to the size of squids: "The majority of squid are no more than 60 centimeters (24 in) long, although the giant squid may reach 13 meters (43 ft) in length."
I went with everyone's favorite, the Spider Monkey, and Wiki (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider_monkey#Physical_description) says the following: "Adults reach an average body length of 50 cm (20 inches) and a weight of 6.4 kilograms (14 pounds)."
So, it's a 20cm Spider Monkey vs. a 24cm Squid vs. a 2m Red Kangaroo.
It's so flippin' obvious that the Spider Monkey would win.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: Smash_Brother on November 27, 2008, 09:04:46 AM
I came to this thread expecting a youtube video.
:(
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: Caliban on November 27, 2008, 12:15:09 PM
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: UncleBob on November 27, 2008, 07:57:42 PM
Damn, that's creepy.
Monkey still wins though. :)
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: UncleBob on November 27, 2008, 08:09:35 PM
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/ab/Diddy_Kong.jpg/200px-Diddy_Kong.jpg) vs. (http://www.unitedspongebob.com/squidbio.jpg) vs. (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e4/Kangaroo_jack.jpg/200px-Kangaroo_jack.jpg)
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on November 27, 2008, 08:18:41 PM
if those were the contenders, i would have to change my vote.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: UncleBob on November 27, 2008, 08:29:47 PM
You all lose. Never give a weapon to an animal. Planet of the Apes/Squids/Roos much? I hope not.
http://www.duckproducts.com/
duck tape is a brand of duct tape, you lose
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: nickmitch on November 29, 2008, 06:02:24 PM
So, shouldn't it be called duck brand duct tape?
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: Spak-Spang on November 29, 2008, 11:38:47 PM
It all depends on the arena.
Squid has the water advantage, and can hold several knives giving great control.
Kangeroo has great offense with the ability to use the knives and legs for brute force and strength...in a straight fight the Kangeroo wins.
With trees around the aeral combat the monkey provides gives the monkey the best ability...also remember that the monkey is probably the only animal that can throw the knives that might bring a good surprise attack.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: Caliban on November 30, 2008, 07:32:54 PM
You all lose. Never give a weapon to an animal. Planet of the Apes/Squids/Roos much? I hope not.
http://www.duckproducts.com/
duck tape is a brand of duct tape, you lose
Haha shortly after my post I learned from hotforwords (on youtube) the origin and why it is now duct tape, even though it used to be duck tape but only because it was a transposed word from the dutch (if I'm not mistaken) word doeck which translates to "strong linen or cotton fabric used for small sails or sailor's outer clothing". The host of hotforwords did show that same brand you showed me. In fact the merriam-webster online dictionary does not accept duck tape, but duct tape it does which I think makes more sense.
Oh, and if I were to personally prefer one of the 3, I would vote on the squid, and then I would proceed to eat said squid with rice because it's so freaking good... and I don't want a Planet of the Squids occurrence.
Title: Re: Monkey vs. Squid vs. Kangaroo
Post by: ThePerm on December 02, 2008, 10:37:41 PM
theres a language entropy rule that says that if two unvoiced sounds are put together one of them will be lost over time. its like when people are singing the national anthom and instead of singing the "dawns early light" they sing the "donserly light".Sort of
