Althought if it is as inspired as what Melancholic Goat has written in this forum there might be hope yet.
ACT TWO, SCENE ONE - DOMESTIC DISPUTE int. kitchen.
Edward Norton and Morgan Freeman stand in the kitchen, eating from plates with their hands while standing up because a newspaper and an unpaid bill are occupying the table space where their chairs are. Suddenly, both put their plates on the floor and begin shouting abuse at the heavens because their bladders are full. Both run, arms and legs flailing wildly, towards the bathroom door. Morgan Freman is inches ahead and makes it into the bathroom first. As he drops his trousers and sits on the toilet seat, Edward Norton enters the bathroom, arms and legs flailing wildly as before.
Morgan Freeman: Rada rada blahah rar!
Edward Norton exits bathroom emotionlessly. Once outside, he grabs his crotch and begins to shake uncontrollably.
Edward Norton: Ooargh blug tirah ooargh!
Edward Norton pisses onto the floor, then walks calmly back into the kitchen, retrieves his plate from the floor, and continues his meal, clothing saturated with his own urine.
fade to black.
Here is another one!
ACT THREE, SCENE FOUR - PASTIMES ext. back yard.
Edward Norton is benchpressing the same amount he has been benchpressing for the last five hours. He shows no sign of fatigue. He shows no sign of exhaustion. He shows no emotion. He is the perfect weightlifting machine. Morgan Freeman is playing chess against himself. Neither man says a word. Neither man looks in the other's direction.
The front doorbell rings. Both men clearly hear it from the back yard, but as they are engaged in activities, they are unable to stop for one god damned second to go to the front door and speak in tongues for seven hours.
Suddenly, Edward Norton stands up, having benched his own body weight for the 900th repetition in a row, and dives into the pool. The image pauses, and a mouse cursor slowly slides across the screen. It clicks on the pool ladder. The pool ladder disappears. Time resumes as normal.
Edward Norton says nothing; he makes no noise. He does not appear to have noticed that the ladder is missing. He makes no attempt to climb out of the pool: his face set in grim, fatalistic, determination, he continues to swim laps, never slowing, never resting.
Morgan Freeman continues to play chess. One assumes that he hears Edward Norton swimming laps, every mechanical stroke bringing him one lap closer to a watery grave, but he continues to glare across the chess board at his invisible opponent as he moves the Knight to E4 and puts himself in check.
Hours pass.
Edward Norton drowns. A gravestone appears at the side of the pool. Morgan Freeman stands up emotionlessly, and then runs, arms and legs flailing wildly, to the bathroom.
fade to black.
Anyone here funnier than he is?
Title: RE: Sims Movie being made
Post by: vudu on May 28, 2007, 02:53:33 AM
tl; dr.
If they can make a movie about Animal Crossing why can't they do the same thing for The Sims?
Title: RE: Sims Movie being made
Post by: couchmonkey on May 28, 2007, 05:47:59 AM
I loved that script. In fact, I was thinking if you were absolutely forced to make a Sims movie, a bunch of short stories similar to this only perhaps slightly less focused on the silly nuances of the game might be the best way to go.
Of course, that's totally un-Hollywood. It'll just be a stupid family comedy focused around a family literally named "Sims".
Title: RE:Sims Movie being made
Post by: nickmitch on May 28, 2007, 06:30:19 AM
Quote Originally posted by: vudu tl; dr.
If they can make a movie about Animal Crossing why can't they do the same thing for The Sims?
The Sims doesn't have actual characters.
Title: RE: Sims Movie being made
Post by: Plugabugz on May 28, 2007, 11:38:40 AM
Maybe they'll make a film about the person who plays the game who realises his life is being sucked away because he's too busy playing god to realise he dont have a life? All in one breath?
Title: RE:Sims Movie being made
Post by: Crimm on May 28, 2007, 03:40:02 PM
You know, I would enjoy it if some hand of God would come in and cause rooms to suddenly have their door disappear at the same time an active stove appears on the highly flammable rug.
