Post by: Pryopizm on January 10, 2006, 10:05:23 PM
"O wretched state! O bosom black as death!
O limed soul, that, struggling to be free,
Art more engag'd! Help, angels! Make assay:
Bow, stubborn knees; and, heart, with strings of steel,
Be soft as sinews of the new-born babe!
All may be well."
He was so loud that he caught the attention of a lone man walking around town.
"You okay, buddy? I heard you quoting from Hamlet."
"Oh, I feel so wretched," wandering responded, "My soul must confess!!"
"Hey, why don't you come with me, and we'll get you some coffee."
With tears streaming in his eyes, wandering pathetically whimpered, "Okay."
During the walk to the stranger's apartment, wandering kept babbling about how he'd joined the PIETRIOTS because of his long-time friendship with FREE KEVIN. When FREE KEVIN garnered the position of Godfather, he extended an invitation to wandering, his most trusted friend.
"But it's hurts to kill people! I hate ending lives!!!! WAHHH!!!"
"See, this is where you and I would have to agree to disagree."
Wandering didn't get the hint, he was far too absorbed in his grief and guilt that the ice pick being plunged into his eye socket went initially unnoticed. When he did realize that something was wrong it was too late. The pick was pulled out and gouged his other eye.
The next morning wandering was found hung upside down by one leg from the courtroom rooftop. His eyes gouged, throat slit, and bowels eviscerated. Sickeningly enough, all the blood had apparently been drained from his corpse prior to it being hung as there was no sign of it anywhere.
As for the last PIETRIOT, he took the night off and watched his DVD collection of Suddenly, Susan.
Post by: MysticGohan24 on January 10, 2006, 10:17:39 PM
Post by: Toruresu on January 11, 2006, 01:53:13 AM
Post by: vudu on January 11, 2006, 02:07:55 AM
With wandering finally out of the picture, vudu was free to follow his dream: quit his mindless job as a lawyer and become the town bartender. He was able to secure rights to wandering's bar for a very reasonable price, as there were rumors of the men's room being haunted by the ghost of its previous owner.
As vudu stood behind the semi-clean counter he pondered where everyone was. Then he realized it was only seven o'clock AM. "Gotta give the little runts at least another hour to wake up". He decided to take advantage of his alone time by pouring himself a Guinness. After taking his first sip, he tipped his glass and spilled a tiny bit on the floor of the bar. "One for me, one for my fallen homies" he muttered.
By homies I don't mean I'm a PIETRIOT. I don't even like Brooke Shields.
EDIT: Wait, so I'm confused ... who killed wandering? The Fanboys? The Serial Killer? The Vigilante? Your narrative makes it seem like one of the latter two, but if that's the case, who did the mafia kill last night?
Also, I'm changing the name of the bar to The wandering_nintendo_fan in honor of its fallen owner. He may have been in the mob, but he wasn't a bad guy.
Plus, he used to pass me secret notes in gym class.
Do you like me?
-Yes
-No
-Maybe
Post by: Pale on January 11, 2006, 04:06:53 AM
PRYO's EDIT:
No, it doesn't! And damn you for noticing my mistakes!
. . .fixed
Post by: Pryopizm on January 11, 2006, 04:06:58 AM
Post by: MysticGohan24 on January 11, 2006, 07:55:03 AM
don't touch them! I don't smoke, I just wanted something pretty to look at next time I'm in the fridge, well that and a bargaining chip incase... next time a guy "swings" that way when I go visiting, you get the idea"
I'd figured I should start putting locks on the door, but I just remembered Wandering[\B] once told me he had a friend that was getting out of the "joint" this week,
unfortunately I doubt they'll be seeing each other anytime soon. Such is the life in this town gone mad, or temeporally insane, since it seems you can get away
with alot if you go that route.
Post by: Bill Aurion on January 11, 2006, 08:26:32 AM
He forgot pants again...and it felt like something was stuck in his buttcheeks...
Post by: Pale on January 11, 2006, 08:59:57 AM
Why is one group called the fanboys and the other the pietriots? Why did FREE KEVIN lead the pietriots? Were these roles truly picked at random? I would like to think so, for if they weren't, the leader of the fanboys may become obvious....
Post by: Bill Aurion on January 11, 2006, 09:13:33 AM
totally picked at random, Bill, I have no idea who any of you are
Sorry, but the obvious isn't going to necessarily work here...
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on January 11, 2006, 09:26:20 AM
good thing you got the night off last night ^_^
Post by: Pryopizm on January 11, 2006, 09:42:03 AM
Quote
Originally posted by: BlackNMild2k1
Ahhh, Judge Aurion..... Good to see you didn't have to murder yourself today, its gotta be tough to be a citizen who was almost killed and the executioner that does the killing
good thing you got the night off last night ^_^
Accusations! By the way, this who I'm basing Judge Aurion's character on:
And his voice.
Post by: KnowsNothing on January 11, 2006, 09:47:40 AM
"Judge" Aurion is the executioner as well. If bill were voted off last night, he would have had to kill himself.I accuse PRYOPIZM of accusing others of accusing.
Post by: Pryopizm on January 11, 2006, 09:50:29 AM
Post by: Sir_Stabbalot on January 11, 2006, 10:34:55 AM
Too tired to walk home (and seeing the sidewalk here was more comfortable as any other sidewalk he's find), Stab collapsed in front of the bar and went to sleep.
I would like to apologize to those of you I voted against last night. I was #2 in votes and my self-preservation instinks kicked in.
Post by: nickmitch on January 11, 2006, 10:59:49 AM
Post by: Bill Aurion on January 11, 2006, 11:17:19 AM
Post by: Sir_Stabbalot on January 11, 2006, 12:18:30 PM
Post by: nickmitch on January 11, 2006, 12:20:56 PM
Or was I?
Post by: Mario on January 11, 2006, 01:39:43 PM
Post by: KnowsNothing on January 11, 2006, 01:53:46 PM
Post by: MysticGohan24 on January 11, 2006, 02:13:08 PM
game of street fighter II, I noticed that Knowsnothing was there too, quickly moving
through the crowd of people. *I've ponder why he was in such a hurry* Anyway, I finally get
to the game of choice, it was "out of order" the sign readt, appearently it seemed someone mistaken
this machine for a sex box, I noticed the trails of "seamen" all over. I left on to my merry way as the lastthing
Iwanted to touch was a fish with a bad mouth and a sex organ to choke a blue whale. I told myself "Screw this, I'm going
home" But not before seeing sir Staby using his ass as a means to direct traffic, unfortunately for him, this also means playing
chicken at the sametime
Post by: MysticGohan24 on January 11, 2006, 02:15:34 PM
molestation charges from the arcade machine
Post by: S-U-P-E-R on January 11, 2006, 02:23:12 PM
Post by: MysticGohan24 on January 11, 2006, 02:25:59 PM
it's the PGC way!!
Post by: KnowsNothing on January 11, 2006, 02:28:13 PM
Post by: Sir_Stabbalot on January 11, 2006, 02:35:01 PM
Stab is hit by a mack truck rented for the transit of musical equpment. Please call 911.
Post by: SS4Gogita on January 11, 2006, 02:38:19 PM
Knows something
lol get it
Post by: breakyboy on January 11, 2006, 02:42:26 PM
CHOO CHOO! EVERYONE ON THE KnowsNothing MASSACRE BANDWAGON!
Post by: Sir_Stabbalot on January 11, 2006, 02:43:21 PM
Post by: Mario on January 11, 2006, 02:55:38 PM
Post by: Sir_Stabbalot on January 11, 2006, 02:57:32 PM
Post by: ShyGuy on January 11, 2006, 03:08:16 PM
Post by: nickmitch on January 11, 2006, 03:17:34 PM
Post by: Bill Aurion on January 11, 2006, 03:24:11 PM
Post by: Sir_Stabbalot on January 11, 2006, 03:25:46 PM
Post by: MysticGohan24 on January 11, 2006, 03:27:23 PM
Swiftjustice will be needed once more!
Post by: Infernal Monkey on January 11, 2006, 03:45:56 PM
GONNA GET RAPED.
Post by: MysticGohan24 on January 11, 2006, 04:01:49 PM
Post by: Mario on January 11, 2006, 04:11:02 PM
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on January 11, 2006, 04:43:21 PM
see what happens when the bartender gets murdered, now no one knows how to make a decent drink.
Everybody VOTE for ICECOLD drinks
Post by: Pale on January 11, 2006, 04:52:32 PM
Post by: MysticGohan24 on January 11, 2006, 04:55:39 PM
What became of KN? Is he offereing an incentive to keep the heat off him? I find it strange as
I continue to ponder the nature of his motives. I suppose all will be clear soon enough...
Post by: IceCold on January 11, 2006, 04:59:09 PM
EDIT: Look at the time
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on January 11, 2006, 05:04:08 PM
Quote
Originally posted by: Anonymous
Q. How Cold does one need to be to be a Killer?
A. Cold, IceCold
I think that said it all for me. That came in an anoynous e-mail while I was @ work.
Post by: Pryopizm on January 11, 2006, 05:04:24 PM
Post by: Pryopizm on January 11, 2006, 05:12:04 PM
"All rise! The Honourable Judge Bill Aurion is presiding," announced the bailiff.
With an aire of pompacity and a fanfare of trumpets, Judge Aurion entered the room. He was looking particularly regal this evening as his head was adorned with a crown and his body covered with a bright red velvet robe with white rabbit fur trimming. Before he sat, he removed the robe exposing a gun vest with "Swift Justice" safely nestled at his side.
"I'm on the scene, like a sex machine. Now sit, and behold my wisdom."
"All sit!"
Everyone obediently sat down.
"KnowsNothing. . .heh heh how delightfully absurd. Why, that name could apply to all of you." the Judge took a moment to giggle at his funny. "You know why you're here today, Mr. Nothing?"
KnowsNothing chuckled faintly, "Heh, no your honor. I know nothing."
The judge burst into a hearty, slow laugh. "You're a funny man, Mr. Nothing. Quite the character. I'm not sure if it's my hangover speaking, but I almost feel sorry for you."
"Uh, thanks?"
"It's my pleasure, now if you would excuse me for a moment." the Judge went to retrieve the magnum from his vest when suddenly a shot rang out and a bits of wall chunks sprayed behind him.
"You'll never take me alive! Not me or any of the Fanboys!" KnowsNothing yelled while brandishing his pistol at the judge.
"What exactly do you mean by that Mr. Nothing? That I will not be alive while taking you into custody or that you will be dead once we get our chance to take you?" Aurion inquired.
"Well, uh, to be honest, I really didn't put much thought into it."
"Don't you look foolish, then? Obviously, one cannot make such a bold statement without understanding neither the meaning nor the consequences. Aside from being part of the Fanboy Mafia, I also find you guilty for being a complete verbal failure."
With that Aurion fired another round of "Swift Justice" and quickly disposed of the town menace.
"Wait a just one blasted minute," Aurion pondered, "Wasn't he the nurse?"
"Yes he was your honor," replied Uncle Bob
"Ha, that's funny! A male nurse. Who ever heard of such a thing? Alright, I've spent enough money this week. TV Man will be paying for our drinks this evening. I'm ordering a bottle of Grand Marnier!"
With that everyone cheered and proceeded to race toward liver failure.
Incidentally, the vote was 6-6. The town whore broke the tie.
Post by: MysticGohan24 on January 11, 2006, 05:24:58 PM
Now I will no longer dread visiting the office, now that it's devoid of life. "Toasts Judge Aurion" Dude you gotta tell me where you shop for guns, and refer me to your tailor.
With that I went to hangout drink and do some public urination in the lobby, Life is good
Post by: Bill Aurion on January 11, 2006, 05:34:26 PM
Aurion chuckles to himself as he disappears into the night...
Post by: ShyGuy on January 11, 2006, 05:38:37 PM
Post by: S-U-P-E-R on January 11, 2006, 05:42:12 PM
Post by: vudu on January 11, 2006, 05:42:48 PM
Post by: nickmitch on January 11, 2006, 05:44:47 PM
When TVman gets word of drinks being on the house, he decides to return to the party.
Post by: UncleBob on January 11, 2006, 05:55:05 PM
Post by: MysticGohan24 on January 11, 2006, 06:01:47 PM
Post by: vudu on January 11, 2006, 06:16:22 PM
Or, perhaps his not being able to vote is a lie, and he's really the last surviving member of The Pietriots.
Post by: MysticGohan24 on January 11, 2006, 06:21:29 PM
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on January 11, 2006, 06:41:00 PM
Post by: MysticGohan24 on January 11, 2006, 06:48:27 PM
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on January 11, 2006, 06:59:13 PM
Post by: MysticGohan24 on January 11, 2006, 07:01:54 PM
