Topic: Safe Words 18: Another Jamie Oliver Cooking Show. Game Over.

[Luigi Dude]

[M.K.Ultra]

Sorry to keep you waiting Jaime, and Happy New Years to you and your viewers. As we all know this is the time of year for resolutions and many folks might be thinking about losing a few pounds gained over the holidays. I am happy to say that doesn't mean saying no to rosti. While some folks might tell you to cut back on starch to loose weight, with my program you can eat all the potatoes you want and still loose weight. Personally, I like to top mine with a nice Pico de Gallo salsa. Here is one of my favorite potato recipes for all you lovely people at home:

MEXICAN STUFFED POTATO
Ingredients:
2 potatoes (any kind, I prefer large Russet potatoes)
1 x 15 oz. can of salt-free Pinto beans (or 1.5 cups of your favorite beans)
8 oz. frozen corn defrosted (I prefer the fire roasted organic corn)
Pico de Gallo (see below)
Preparation:
Cook potatoes however you normally would (bake, steam, pressure cook,
microwave). Heat up the corn and beans and stuff the potato with them and top
with Pico de Gallo salsa. Add jalapenos and cilantro if desired.
Pico de GalloIngredients:
3 firm Roma tomatoes
1 jalapeno pepper
1 shallot
2 cloves garlic
1 lime
Chopped cilantro, to taste
Preparation:
Cut tomatoes in half, squeeze out extra juice and seeds, and then dice.
Place in a bowl and add the lime juice. Dice the shallots and garlic and
add to the tomatoes. Finely dice the jalapeno, removing the seeds if you
want it to be less hot. Add to the tomatoes. Season with chopped cilantro
and stir.
Chef's Note:
Sometimes, I will add a finely diced red bell pepper

[Khushrenada]

"Whoa! Ok, let's not lose sight of the rosti..." Jamie started to say but AJBungle was not going to be denied sharing the stuffed potato recipe.

"Nonsense," she said, "Look how quick and easy it is to make this." And then she marched into the kitchen set and started taking over to make the recipe. The problem is that she wasn't exactly dressed for kitchen safety and as a result she got her clothes caught on fire as she started getting the stove ready.....



As she tried to put out the fire on herself, she ended up spreading it onto other surfaces as she moved around and soon the whole set was on fire. There was an announcement to flee the set and everyone quickly raced out of the building to escape the flames. Except AJBungle who was trying to play the whole being on fire thing as just a minor little incident. If she could just put out these flames and get back to the stuffed potato recipe then everything would be back on track and she'd be able to salvage her reputation as a chef from this. But the fire had spread to too many areas and surfaces and was growing too fast that it eventually caused the gas line to the over to catch on fire and explode. The explosion was so great that the crew outside had to run for cover when it blasted the refrigerator on set into the air!



After so many explosions and fires, the building for filming Jamie's cooking segments was done for. It was decided to move the filming to Jimmy and Jamie's Cafe at Southend Pier so they loaded up the equipment and went there.

[Khushrenada]

TOPHATANT123 came close to having to accept his own bomb word but just survived. Luigi Dude will be selecting the bomb word for Round 6.

[Order.RSS]

I don't buy these results. Clearly Jamie Oliver is using the situation to seize the daytime TV chef spot for themselves!

[Khushrenada]

I ask you, who would want to still eat chicken nuggets after seeing what has happened so far in this game?

[M.K.Ultra]

I should have put on that apron 

[Khushrenada]

Round 6 is now underway. We've hit the halfway mark.

Let's talk pasta. Pasta is another great way to use up leftovers. In fact, maybe you've got small bits of pasta all over. Like half a cup of macaroni in a box and a few strands of spagetti or fettucine in a box or a couple lasagna noodles. Well, take those odds and ends and just cook 'em up together. I would suggest breaking up the lasagna noodles or the longer noodles in half or two if you are cooking them with smaller noodles so that they can cook more evenly in the same pot. There's nothing wrong with using different pasta types in a dish to use them up. Of course, if you want to make pasta with the same type of noodle then by all means you can do that for this as well.

TOPHATANT123, how do you weigh in on this topic?


Just clank it up any old way
You know that makes sense
And just whack it up the jacksy
Not trying to be chef-y here
I’m always burning me nuts
They'll be eating it and saying, "Oh! What is that??"

[TOPHATANT123]

I love pasta.

They'll be eating it and saying, "Oh! What is that??"

I'll point and say, "That's pasta".

[Khushrenada]

Yeah, "safe to say" I think that should help them out....


Now with pasta, you can also incorporate loads of veg. Carrots, peas, onions, broccoli, cauliflower, celery, the list goes on. Just take it and chop it into small bite size pieces. And how you want to cook the veg is also up to you. Fry it, boil it, roast it. What I'm going to do with this dish today is steam it. I'm going to get this veg steaming now so that when the pasta is done then it will be ready as well.

What do you think of the plan so far, Insanolord?


Just clank it up any old way
You know that makes sense
And just whack it up the jacksy
Not trying to be chef-y here
I’m always burning me nuts

[Mop it up]

Oops thought I was next for some reason.

[NWR_insanolord]

I’m always burning me nuts

[Khushrenada]

Oh, well that will give it a pong! And yes, nuts are another ingredient that could be added. I guess everyone's just trying to let Insanolord get to the end and hope they are in the Final Round with him to win.


Now, let's talk sauce for the pasta. Again, there's a wide variety of options available. You could go the carbonara route, the alfredo option or olive oil and herbs. But most people associate pasta with tomato sauce so here's a real quick and simple recipe that can be used as a base. Get 2 cloves of garlic, peel them and finely slice them. Then get a nonstick pan and put it on medium heat with a tablespoon of olive oil and add the garlic. We just want it to get lightly golden so keep stirring until you see that color. When the garlic is ready, just get a large tin of plum tomatoes and add that to the pan. Take the tomatoes either in your hand and give them a scrunch or use a wooden spatula to break them up. Then just let that mixture simmer on low and that's it. You can just let it blip away until the pasta is ready.

I see Mop it up is eager to interject something here so let's check in with her and see what she wants to say!

Just clank it up any old way
You know that makes sense
And just whack it up the jacksy
Not trying to be chef-y here

[Mop it up]

You kids these days just clank it up any old way, no respect for the craft!

[Khushrenada]

Well, I think it helps give it a nice home-y feel to show it's been cooked with love....

Now, you can add more to this sauce. Want to add some meat? Maybe some extra ground beef or some sausage? Half a chicken breast? Then warm it up and add it in. Are there some herbs you need to use? Throw in some thyme, oregano or basil. Want to add some veg to the sauce then do that as well. You could add the veg we've steamed up or some extra veg like mushrooms and red peppers. You can add some heat with a chili. Feel free to put your own spin on the sauce and use the opportunity to use up some leftovers you may have in your pantry or fridge.

BeautifulShy, are you feeling saucy right now?


You know that makes sense
And just whack it up the jacksy
Not trying to be chef-y here

[BeautifulShy]

For Xmas brought my own pasta to make over to my sisters friends place.

It was Red Lentil pasta, plant based chicken, and plant based bolognese sauce from Sprouts.

It was so good and easy to make.  I was Not trying to be chef-y since it was so easy to put together.

[Khushrenada]

Ah, happy days. That's what's so great about pasta. It doesn't have to be complicated.

Now let's get our veg. Look at the colors, guys!! We'll add that to our serving bowl. Let's drain our pasta but keep some of the starchy cooking water. Just get a cup and dunk that in their first. Now we'll add our drained pasta to the veg. Next comes our beautiful sauce. Then we'll add some of this chicken and sausage we've been frying. Oh ho! Look how grarly some of those bits have got! That's what we want! That's flavor. Now we'll toss it all up together. I'm just going to add a bit of that pasta water to loosen the sauce a bit and make it more silky. Finely, let me grab a few leaves of basil and just sprinkle that over the top. A little dusting of parmesan and some pepper. And we're there. Pasta from leftovers.

Now before I tuck in, let's just see what MASB thinks on the subject:

You know that makes sense
And just whack it up the jacksy

[MASB]

Everythin' looks fine, Boss Khushrenada! Bein' from tha South, you can't go wrong with butter! I'd just put some completely melted butter in a small saucer at the side of each diner's plate so, if they choose, once they've gotten a nice forkful of pasta, chicken and sausage, they can dip it into the butter and just whack it up the jacksy!

[Khushrenada]

For the first time this game, someone selects the phrase ""and just whack it up the jacksy!". You waited until the end of Round 6 to select it....... And that was the correct choice. MASB is safe. Luigi Dude has to take his own bomb word selection of "You know that makes sense" and is knocked out of the game. MASB will be selecting the bomb word for Round 7. I'll edit this post later to add some explosions and stuff but at work right now. Just wanted to give you all the heads up as to the result in the meantime. 5 players left.


Thanks MASB. Well, I guess all that's left to do is eat this pasta. I'm so glad we finally got through a recipe without any incidents. Ha ha ha......

Suddenly, Luigi Dude burst in to the kitchen. "Hold it! That pasta ain't done yet! It needs a few other ingredients!" he cried out. He then took a can of cubed pineapple and poured it over the pasta. He then dumped a special concoction of his called an anchovy milkshake on top because, in his words, you know that makes sense. "And don't forget my BURNT NUTS!!" he shouted at the top of his voice!

"NOOOO!!" cried out everyone on set but it was too late. He'd already stuck his crotch in the dish. However, the anchovy milkshake contained a lot of strong alcohol for whatever reason (although it highly likely it is for story reasons) and the alcohol vapors ended up getting ignited from the nearby gas stove resulting in a sudden fire emergency....



"Ahhhh!!! No!!! Not again!!" he yelled out in panic and began running around the set. Everyone else was kind of thrown off and asking each other what he meant by not again. Eventually, they got back to focusing on the problem at hand and began chasing after Luigi Dude. They finally caught him and everyone did their part to make sure the fire was put out....




After another 10 minutes of stomping out the fire (to make sure it was definitely out  ), the cast and crew went back to the set. Luigi Dude was left in extreme pain. He somehow managed to get upright and found that hopping on one foot was about the only way he could move his body so he started taking hops with long pauses down the pier but ended up making a bad jump and losing his balance. He fell over the pier onto a passing motorboat. He landed on top of the driver and knocked him overboard while he ended up wedge in a painful and tight position on the floor under the dashboard and seats. He was pinned in a such a way that he could not move his arms to get free. The motorboat took off wildly across the waters and ended up running into another boat causing a massive explosion.



Let that be a lesson to you all kids out there. Don't play with your food.

[Khushrenada]

Well, I won't be topping that death this game so it's all downhill from here. Perfect time for Round 7 then!

Now let's talk Stir-Fry. This is another great way to take leftovers from a fridge or in your pantry and make what might seem kind of dull into something exciting! Woo-hoo! Let's do it! First, if you want to use meat, let's get that prepped. Maybe you've got some leftover chicken, some beef, some lamb roast. Whatever it might be, get that meat cut into cubes or stripes at a pretty size. Then take it along with a tablespoon each of olive oil, red wine vinegar and black bean sauce. Mix it all together in a bowl and allow those ingredients to coat the meat.

How do think it's looking so far, TOPHATANT123?

Just clank it up any old way
And just whack it up the jacksy
Not trying to be chef-y here
I’m always burning me nuts
They'll be eating it and saying, "Oh! What is that??"

[TOPHATANT123]

If you don't want meat we can use other sources of protein; cashews, almonds, pistachios. You've got to be careful about keeping these at the right temperature, I'm always burning me nuts.

[Khushrenada]

Absolutely! And just what I was going to suggest next. Good call.

Of course, there's the veg. If you've got broccoli or cauliflower or carrots, whatever it is you may want to add, then get them and cut them into bite size chunks or strips as well and get that ready. Noodles is another thing you may want to add. Maybe you've got some left in a package you want to use up. Maybe it's what we talked about before of odds and ends of different pastas like macaroni or spaghetti. Those can be used for stirfry noodles also. So, get your pasta into some salted boiling water and start cooking it.

Insanolord, what do you want to say to the viewers at home on this matter?


Just clank it up any old way
And just whack it up the jacksy
Not trying to be chef-y here
They'll be eating it and saying, "Oh! What is that??"

[NWR_insanolord]

They'll be eating it and saying, "Oh! What is that??"

[Khushrenada]

Hahaha! Yes! You don't often think macaroni and stirfry but you can do it. It may not make for posh pictures but it does mean one less trip to the store. One less specific ingredient for cooking.

Now let's get our marinated meat into a hot pan and sizzling away. We want to try and cook it on each side for 3 minutes. As that glaze catches in the pan, it's going to get dark and gnarly and that's what we want. That means flavor. Some of the best bits are those crispy bits that from as the meat darkens in the pan. With our veg, just add that into the boiling water with the noodles for a couple minutes just before the noodles are done. Now that the noodles and veg are ready, remove the meat from the pan and now lift and drag in the noodles and veg from the pot into that pan. It'll be a bit steamy but that's alright. We want some of that water to help protect the noodles and veg as they cook in the pan.

Mop it up, why don't you take the stage as I move this food around?

Just clank it up any old way
And just whack it up the jacksy
Not trying to be chef-y here

[Mop it up]

Not trying to be chef-y here but I don't like the odds on this one.