Author Topic: Stogi's Rules of Engagement  (Read 4995 times)

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Offline Stogi

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Stogi's Rules of Engagement
« on: January 23, 2011, 01:57:48 PM »
So I just learned a baffling fact that this motherfucker is a multi-millionaire because he wrote a 90 page book full of bullshit.

So it got me thinking...

Why don't I, Stogi, do the same? I mean if people are so desperate to get laid that they'll read and buy anything, why not exploit that like that som-bitch up there did?`I mean, I would like to be a millionaire too.

So here we go:

Chapter 1

Stop being such a chump. No one will ever respect you because you are such a chump. How do I know you're a chump? You bought this shitty book, chump.

Chapter 2

You need to climb the ladder. You can't jump in with the sharks when your a little minnow. God your an idiot.

Chapter 3

Maybe you should focus on bettering your life before trying to pick up dumb hussies at the bar. You spending money on drinks isn't getting you out of your parents house.

Chapter 4

No girl will ever find you interesting because well, you suck at life. But hey, luckily you don't have to tell the truth. Just say you're a disposable lighter repair man and if she finds that fascinating, she is exactly dumb enough.

Final Chapter

Eat less you fat ass. Now go pick up some fat asses.


Not bad right? Million copies day one? In all honesty, I'm extremely envious of that bastard. I might have to spend a day writing what i know
black fairy tales are better at sports

Offline vudu

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Re: Stogi's Rules of Engagement
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2011, 02:02:09 PM »
WHERE DO I SEND MY CHECK
Why must all things be so bright? Why can things not appear only in hues of brown! I am so serious about this! Dull colors are the future! The next generation! I will never accept a world with such bright colors! It is far too childish! I will rage against your cheery palette with my last breath!

Offline TJ Spyke

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Re: Stogi's Rules of Engagement
« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2011, 02:05:37 PM »
This reminds me of the episode of Family Guy where Brian did the same thing, wrote the stupidest book he could think of and ended up becoming a best selling author because of it.
Help out a poor college student, buy video games and Blu-ray Discs at: http://astore.amazon.com/spyke-20

Offline BlackNMild2k1

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Re: Stogi's Rules of Engagement
« Reply #3 on: January 23, 2011, 02:11:54 PM »
If that guy pisses you off, then this guy is gonna make you want to kill someone (for not doing it first.)

Vid 1: Asking for A Million Dollars
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46Wqp1r_F0I
Vid 2: Still Asking.......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e34yt21Vzng&feature=related
Vid 3: Accepting Nothing Less
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOUZnRdmNxY&feature=related
Vid 4: Success
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipJPSIF395Q&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL

Offline Stogi

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Re: Stogi's Rules of Engagement
« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2011, 02:24:45 PM »
That's awesome. I'm gonna go kill someone now.
black fairy tales are better at sports

Offline EasyCure

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Re: Stogi's Rules of Engagement
« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2011, 04:43:39 PM »
Git 'im, pa!
February 07, 2003, 02:35:52 PM
EASYCURE: I remember thinking(don't ask me why) this was a blond haired, blue eyed, chiseled athlete. Like he looked like Seigfried before he became Nightmare.

Offline King of Twitch

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Re: Stogi's Rules of Engagement
« Reply #6 on: January 23, 2011, 05:46:21 PM »
Needs a chapter on how to score a Hawaiian chick.
"I deem his stream to be supreme and highly esteem his Fortnite team!" - The Doritos Pope and his Mountain Dew Crew.

Offline bustin98

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Re: Stogi's Rules of Engagement
« Reply #7 on: January 23, 2011, 06:02:51 PM »
Included will be instructions of how to have sex on the beach without coming in contact with sand... :p

Offline King of Twitch

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Re: Stogi's Rules of Engagement
« Reply #8 on: January 23, 2011, 06:16:36 PM »
That's inappropriate.
"I deem his stream to be supreme and highly esteem his Fortnite team!" - The Doritos Pope and his Mountain Dew Crew.

Offline TJ Spyke

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Re: Stogi's Rules of Engagement
« Reply #9 on: January 23, 2011, 06:18:02 PM »
Yeah, the sand makes it more fun. J/K.
Help out a poor college student, buy video games and Blu-ray Discs at: http://astore.amazon.com/spyke-20

Offline EasyCure

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Re: Stogi's Rules of Engagement
« Reply #10 on: January 23, 2011, 10:44:44 PM »
February 07, 2003, 02:35:52 PM
EASYCURE: I remember thinking(don't ask me why) this was a blond haired, blue eyed, chiseled athlete. Like he looked like Seigfried before he became Nightmare.

Offline ShyGuy

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Re: Stogi's Rules of Engagement
« Reply #11 on: January 24, 2011, 12:56:57 AM »
Crimm needs to come in here and post his despair at the content.

Offline Caliban

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Re: Stogi's Rules of Engagement
« Reply #12 on: January 24, 2011, 11:40:45 AM »
Unagi, just write a book that upends everything that motherfucker wrote. Show him who's the boss of women.

who doesn't like a chicken cutlet? (NSFW: Language)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Offline Crimm

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Re: Stogi's Rules of Engagement
« Reply #13 on: January 24, 2011, 05:30:57 PM »
EVERYBODY'S GETTING BANNED!
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Offline NinGurl69 *huggles

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Re: Stogi's Rules of Engagement
« Reply #14 on: January 24, 2011, 06:21:55 PM »
I hope so.
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Offline Stogi

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Re: Stogi's Rules of Engagement
« Reply #15 on: January 24, 2011, 07:59:19 PM »
Needs a chapter on how to score a Hawaiian chick.

Noted.

who doesn't like a chicken cutlet? (NSFW: Language)

I'm surprised it took you this long to make that joke :P

Unagi, just write a book that upends everything that motherfucker wrote. Show him who's the boss of women.

That would require me to actually read his book. But I get your point.
black fairy tales are better at sports

Offline EasyCure

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Re: Stogi's Rules of Engagement
« Reply #16 on: January 24, 2011, 08:09:45 PM »
who doesn't like a chicken cutlet? (NSFW: Language)

I'm surprised it took you this long to make that joke :P


I don't visit the forums much anymore ;)
February 07, 2003, 02:35:52 PM
EASYCURE: I remember thinking(don't ask me why) this was a blond haired, blue eyed, chiseled athlete. Like he looked like Seigfried before he became Nightmare.

Offline Stogi

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Re: Stogi's Rules of Engagement
« Reply #17 on: January 24, 2011, 08:20:38 PM »
We have that in common, but I meant since I told you the either that or the pussy was amazing story haha
black fairy tales are better at sports

Offline EasyCure

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Re: Stogi's Rules of Engagement
« Reply #18 on: January 25, 2011, 12:01:54 AM »
We have that in common, but I meant since I told you the either that or the pussy was amazing story haha

I knew there was a PM i forgot to read! D'oh!
February 07, 2003, 02:35:52 PM
EASYCURE: I remember thinking(don't ask me why) this was a blond haired, blue eyed, chiseled athlete. Like he looked like Seigfried before he became Nightmare.