Topic: TOP 100 FORUM POSTS AND OR TOPICS

[ShyGuy]

Credit to Zap for the idea. In honor of the 20th anniversary of the site, I figured we could all contribute our favorites for the next twelve months.

I'll go first with one that's self serving: a reaction to a picture I posted.

Hey, I've got a great pet picture for ya! Meet my cousin's cat Rusty:

I burst out laughing at 3:00 AM. Damnit, ShyGuy.

[Khushrenada]

Screw posts. I say we do top 100 threads/topics.

[ShyGuy]

Here's another one. Kashogi Stogi AKA Stogi AKA a dozen other names always had these bizzare little quips and short stories he would toss in.

Hahaha reminds me of the time I threw ranch dressing in this chicks face. She loved it (and the ranch too). As you could tell, she deserves no respect.

On topic, gotta say those ranch doritos taco commercials are hilarious. The Spanish version of the songs are the perfect mixture of satire and cover.

[ShyGuy]

Another classic, from Megabyte's thread. Kairon is in my bathroom
https://www.nintendoworldreport.com/forums/index.php?topic=24731.msg417816;topicseen#quickreply

I was smart and had my apartment sprayed for Kairons months ago.

Me too, but it took a while to take effect.  Everything's good now though.

I was always under the impression that this was the first time Kairon met Megabye, and he ended up randomly falling asleep on a stranger's couch.

[ShyGuy]

Screw posts. I say we do top 100 threads/topics.

Good idea, gives it more context when needed.

[ShyGuy]

Here is one of the first dedicated Reggie hype threads, Sadly most of the images have went missing. Reggie Forever!

http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/forums/index.php?topic=12387.0

[ShyGuy]

Remember when Noble Feather was try to make us all believe that the Nintendo "Revolution" was going to use Blu Ray discs? People were really paranoid after the small capacity Gamecube Discs.

http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/forums/index.php?topic=11399.0

I believe he got banned for that rumor...

[ThePerm]

Weren't Wii discs pretty decently sized though?

[ShyGuy]

They were regular DVDs, which was the same size as the Xbox 360. Only a few games required a dual layer DVD, and it was rumored that dual layer discs were hard on the drive. I know my Wii disc drive died when I was playing COD: Black Ops, which was a dual layer disc...

[pokepal148]

The other thing I heard is that the Wii disc drives had issues because they had to accept 2 different sizes of discs in that fancy sleek futuristic "just put the disc in the slot" mechanism as opposed to say a top loading or drawer style disc drive (I'm too lazy to look up what they're actually called.)

[King of Twitch]

The E3 previews were the best. We all looked forward to them like kids on Christmas eve waiting for Reggie Claus to flood our living room with megatons, name taking, bizarre marketing stunts, and bombastic conversations that only Reggie could deliver. They also contain references to what irked gamers at the time--insolent game journalists, achievement trophies, Sony and M$ stealing from Nintendo, HD vs gimmick debates. You had to be there.

Rab?

I think he said that he will get the story up on Sunday.

wow you're trying to rush, rab? good luck maxi.

if you keep pushing him you'll probably end up being in the story.

It was incredible how these details would slip out ahead of time each year, each time through mysterious consequences. So far I've found '05, '08, '09, and '10:

2010
http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/forums/index.php?topic=31493.msg613869#msg613869

[It has to be said, Reggie is such an understanding and caring man. He looks me square in the eye and tells me that I did the right thing to cheat on Cammie with her daughter. He goes on though to explain that, despite my virtuous actions, Cammie had fallen into a state of despair. In her desperate state the currently scheduled conference was to be her coming out on stage and performing interpretive dance of projected 2011 sales figures to the tune of a Super Mario Bros ringtone. Reggie explained that it was up to me to track Cammie down, cheer her up and deliver a solid E3 script. I asked if we needed a high concept one like my rejected Animal Crossing proposal or actually do the McDonald's conference from last year. Reggie told me that we just had to keep it simple because planning time was short. Reggie payed for our coffee with a $100 note and left before they could give him change.ive him change.

2009
http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/forums/index.php?topic=28381.msg517571#msg517571

"NOW I HAD TO PUT UP WITH A LOT OF STUPID B----ing FROM NOT JUST YOU CLOWNS BUT YOUR LACKEYS ON INTERNET FORUMS LAST YEAR. BY GEE AT ONE POINT I WAS SO BUSY KICKING PEOPLE'S ARSES THAT I HAD TO GIVE UP ON TAKING NAMES IN THE EVENING! YOU CRITICISE US FOR ATTRACTING A WIDER MARKET MEANWHILE THE PS3 HAS TURNED INTO A GLORIFIED KAROKE BOX AND MICROSOFT, WHEN NOT BUSY STEALING OTHER PEOPLE'S IDEAS, SPRUIK THE XBOX'S TELEVISION AND MOVIE VIEWING CAPABILITIES! **** ME!"
Reggie was so worked up he had to approach the McDonald's counter, toss aside the person ready to serve him and help himself to some chips just to calm himself down.

"To appeal to the core demographic we've made a few small changes to the mechanics of Wii Fit. Instead of measuring your weight and giving you a Wii Fit Age, Wii Fit Plus measures you and awards you an achievement score, which may or may not be related to how well you stood still on the board. In the exercise games, you will earn exp points which you can use to level up your Mii. You beat the game when you collect all the arbitrary tokens hidden in the exercises or when your achievement score reaches 1000. Wii Fit Plus comes bundles with a pen and paper so you can write down and show all your friends and family your achievement score because I'm sure they care." Cammie explained while the confused volunteer fell over from not balancing well on two feet.

2008
http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/forums/index.php?topic=25594.0

He rushed off so quickly though that some paper slipped out as he went. At first I was gunna leave it alone because I know I shouldn't interfere with Reggie's list, that'd be like interfering with Santa's list of who's been bad or good. But I couldnt help myself and I needed to check if RawMeatCowboy's name had been taken yet so I grasped the paper and slipped off to read it, in case Reggie came storming back. What I found though was that it wasn't a list of names as I had suspect but infact the script for this years E3 presentation! Now I wouldn't normally divulge this information of course but me and Perrin Kaplan had a big breakup over the phone earlier tonight. Stupid b----- doesn't know how many syllables are in a haiku, so anyway I'm getting my revenge by telling you guys this ok?

2005
http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/forums/index.php?topic=12444.msg164484#msg164484

Lights come out, rocking music starts and out comes Reggie, FIST in the air, to the cheers of the weak journalists below him. As he steps into center stage they'll notice that his fist contains a PSP. He'll then SLAM the PSP into the floor. As it lays in 400 pieces on the ground Reggie will boom "Someone pass me an Xbox 360!" Then out of no where some cock dressed in one of those Master Chief suits comes out and Reggie starts fighting him and of course it's no contest, Reggie wins.

[ShyGuy]

Aw man, yeah! Rabicle did a great job on those!

[King of Twitch]

I could only find 2 Infernal Monkey reviews, but they're better than all the other reviews in the 11 years since their release--COMBINED.

NiGHTS Journey of Fleas
February 16, 2008, 10:34:24 AM
http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/forums/index.php?topic=24094.msg404462#msg404462

But watch out! William and Helen are about, and they just so happen to be our new er, heroes? One plays soccer all day, only to go to bed with his soccer ball, and dream about more soccer. The other spends her time alternating between the violin and running into the city to look at shop windows. I can relate to that.

See, the first NiGHTS game pretty much left it at that, but now we have a proper story and everything for whatever reason. NiGHTS has been given a voice of a burly British nanny wrapped in a blender to keep the gender a mystery, plus there's an owl that never shuts up. Practically every dialogue box that results from him opening his beak is accompanied by a "Visitor!" voice sample. Owl (yes, that's his name, creativity at its finest) truly is this generations very own Navi.

Powershot Pinball Constructor, more like Powershi- am I right lololol
January 26, 2008, 10:31:32 PM
http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/forums/index.php?topic=23668.msg400753#msg400753

The same horrendous music that vomited into my ears on the title screen is back, we're off to a great start. It's a bit like a cat caught on a fence and a Game Boy Color in the process of being hit with a sledge hammer. The table is all pre-rendered, and nicely compressed to death to the point of looking like a grainy grain factory.

A 'BONUS SCORE' will scroll by on the top screen every now and then. Curiously, this simple text punches the frame rate in the crotch so hard it'll feel like you've just poured glue all over your DS.

Quote
Originally posted by: Infernal Monkey
The game offers a few other bags of diarrhea for you to smother all over your face....  But what if you're strolling down the street one day, diarrhea all over your face, and you meet someone else that shares your poo passion?

That's a pleasant mental image.

[King of Twitch]

Another top-100 is a little-known poster named ShyGuy; hilarious poster as we will see below, but also famous for sandwiches:

http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/forums/index.php?topic=27407.msg487978#msg487978

He...

...has posted stories from working in a computer store; actually, he only posted 2 in a thread 8 years ago, but they were good:

http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/forums/index.php?topic=33119.msg650136#msg650136


...has stories from a sheep ranch (from that same week):

http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/forums/index.php?topic=33093.msg649582#msg649582

...cares about ethics:

I picked up MonkeyBall DS for my sister as a graduation present.  Would it be wrong of me to open it up and start  playing it before I give it to her in  a couple of weeks?

...fights for the downtrodden:

IM FIGHTING FOR YOU KYTIM http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/forums/index.php?topic=33180.0

...knows a TON about the laaaadieees:

A woman can ask you to marry her. If you refuse, you have to give her a silk gown and a kiss.

keep it moist

And most importantly of course, has a long reputation of posts that make me giggle, making him one of the highlights of NWR's 20 year history:

What's the Vector, Victor?

Easy there, Edward R. Murrow.

Is Kony 2012 that indy music festival in Portland?

I would punch a bear and say wow.

One code to rule them all and in the local, swap them.

Quote
Why did I buy a Cube at launch? I missed out on price cuts, a free game, a free Gameboy Player, the platinum colour, bigger memory cards, and all these cool import colours.

buy sooner = enjoy sooner = regret sooner

buy later = enjoy later = regret later

never buy = never enjoy = always regret

[ShyGuy]

Hahahaha oh wow. I had some doozies. Did I never tell the story of the second computer shop murder? Or the demon possessed sheep?