Author Topic: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.  (Read 348510 times)

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Offline Mop it up

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #250 on: March 25, 2010, 07:36:46 PM »
I don't even know who you people are talking about, and already I don't like her.

Offline NinGurl69 *huggles

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #251 on: March 25, 2010, 07:37:54 PM »
"him"
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Offline Mop it up

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #252 on: March 25, 2010, 07:39:01 PM »
Them.

Offline ThePerm

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #253 on: March 25, 2010, 08:36:08 PM »
vem
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Offline Stratos

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #254 on: March 26, 2010, 03:28:52 AM »
'IT'
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Offline EasyCure

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #255 on: March 27, 2010, 12:46:03 PM »
SHKLEE!
February 07, 2003, 02:35:52 PM
EASYCURE: I remember thinking(don't ask me why) this was a blond haired, blue eyed, chiseled athlete. Like he looked like Seigfried before he became Nightmare.

Offline Stogi

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #256 on: March 28, 2010, 08:58:42 PM »
The whole hermaphrodite rumor started because at a concert she apparently decided to go out on stage with a sex toy in her pants. Her manager released a statement about how it was not real.

I thought she was a dude before the rumor.
black fairy tales are better at sports

Offline BlackNMild2k1

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #257 on: April 14, 2010, 06:59:27 PM »
WiiFit injury awakens cravings for sex in woman
Quote
Amanda Flowers - Wii Fit Made Her A Sex Addict

Wii Fit may have a new marketing scheme. Ok, not really but one woman's injury from falling off her Wii Fit board has many scratching their heads.

A 24-year-old woman named Amanda Flowers from Manchester said the Wii fit turned her into a sex addict. She said that minor vibrations from even a food processor or her cell phone makes her extremely 'horny'. She was told by an expert doctor that she suffered a damaged nerve that has given her "persistent sexual arousal syndrome." Since then, men have been joking that they plan on buying their girlfriends and wives Wii Fit. We wonder why.

Amanda Flowers says she needs up to 10 sex sessions a day to keep her sane.
Amanda, who is single, told the Dailystar, "With no cure I just have to try to control my passion by breathing deeply. Hopefully one day I'll find a superstud who can satisfy me." Amanda is from Harpurhey Manchester, and we wonder how long she will stay single.

Injuries from the Wii are frequent in the UK. A quick scan of Youtube for Wii injuries reports from doctors has us naming the Wii the most dangerous console on the market. Beware.

Next Month on "Well I'll Be Damned":
WiiFit+ tops the April sales charts World Wide!! #1 Gift for month of April.

In unrelated news: Wide reports of "accidental" injury when playing WiiFit.
Stories of greased up balance boards and clumsy boyfriends/husbands knocking their girlfriends/wives off the board while exercising.

News from around the world:
The body count continues to rise as men across the globe have suffered from a fatal ritual known only as Snoo Snoo.... story continued on pg 14b
« Last Edit: April 14, 2010, 07:01:11 PM by BlackNMild2k1 »

Offline NinGurl69 *huggles

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #258 on: April 14, 2010, 07:12:36 PM »
SEXERCISE
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Offline EasyCure

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #260 on: April 14, 2010, 07:27:44 PM »
gues she didn' have a pocket to put the wiimote in when doing the jogging excercise...
February 07, 2003, 02:35:52 PM
EASYCURE: I remember thinking(don't ask me why) this was a blond haired, blue eyed, chiseled athlete. Like he looked like Seigfried before he became Nightmare.

Offline NinGurl69 *huggles

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #261 on: April 14, 2010, 07:44:12 PM »
She could put the Wii Remote in the Football shell and then put the Football in her-
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Offline EasyCure

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #262 on: April 14, 2010, 07:51:49 PM »
sounds like a great bachelor party
February 07, 2003, 02:35:52 PM
EASYCURE: I remember thinking(don't ask me why) this was a blond haired, blue eyed, chiseled athlete. Like he looked like Seigfried before he became Nightmare.

Offline BlackNMild2k1

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #263 on: April 14, 2010, 07:57:28 PM »
She could put the Wii Remote in the Football shell and then put the Football in her-
sounds like a great bachelor party
More like a birthday party I went to about 7 years ago.... that was one crazy stripper ;)

Offline BlackNMild2k1

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #264 on: April 19, 2010, 12:33:43 PM »
I had a similar idea to this a looooong time ago, only in reverse*. His execution was much better than I had ever planned though.

We're looking for a man that fits the description..... 5'10... Black...hoodie, glasses.
Did I mention that he was black?
Quote
SPRINGDALE, Ohio -- A Florida man police say wore an elaborate mask to   rob several banks and businesses in the Tri-State over the past month is   behind bars on a $3 million bond.

Conrad Zdzierak, 30, was   arraigned Thursday morning on six counts of aggravated robbery in   Hamilton County court.

Acting on a tip, officers from several   departments served a search warrant at the Extended Stay America Hotel   at 320 Glensprings Drive in Springdale Wednesday afternoon where they   arrested Zdzierak.

Officers discovered a red dye pack from a bank   had exploded inside a vehicle that belongs to Zdzierak.

Police   then tried to enter Zdzierak's room, but were encountered by a dog that   bit one of the officers, prompting one of them to fire their gun.

Once   inside, officers discovered evidence, including a Hollywood-style mask   linking Zdzierak to six robberies.

"The suspect seen in the   surveillance photographs and that we were looking for, we believed to be   an African American male. The suspect was actually a male, white, who   was wearing an elaborate disguise," said Lieutenant Michael Mathis with   the Springdale Police Department.

Springdale police says they   have never seen such an elaborate mask.

Police say Zdzierak   committed five of the robberies last Friday, April 9.

Investigators   say Zdzierak would hand a note to an employee indicating he had a gun   and demanded cash.

According to police, Zdzierak has been living   in the Springdale hotel for the last year.

The robberies   Zdzierak is charged with are:

- March 5 - Chaco Bank, 1143   Smiley, Forest Park, Ohio
- April 9 - Key Bank, 8457 Winton Road,   Springfield Township, Ohio
- April 9 - Fifth Third Bank, 10595   Springfield Pike, Woodlawn, Ohio
- April 9 - Key Bank, 11355   Princeton Pike, Springdale, Ohio
- April 9 - CVS Pharmacy, 11601   Springfield Pike, Springdale, Ohio
- April 9 - Franklin Savings, 1100   West Kemper Road, Forest Park, Ohio


I actually surprised that this hasn't been tried more often. You could rob once cities banks using a black mask, then switch to a different nationality for a different city a few weeks later and then a completely different nationality a few weeks after that. Nationwide Bank Robbing Spree and the cops have no idea who they are looking for. He probably should have spread out his jobs a little more, but this was a brilliant attempt.

*My plan involved a ski mask, silly putty and blue contacts so that I looked like a white person. I would have never done it of course, but everyone thinks about it at some point or another.

Offline EasyCure

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #265 on: April 19, 2010, 05:58:18 PM »
he looks like KRS One
February 07, 2003, 02:35:52 PM
EASYCURE: I remember thinking(don't ask me why) this was a blond haired, blue eyed, chiseled athlete. Like he looked like Seigfried before he became Nightmare.

Offline ThePerm

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #266 on: April 19, 2010, 09:28:13 PM »
go into google type dental supply store

these dental supply stores sale a thing called algenate, if youve ever gotten braces that may be what they used to cast your teeth. Its also what special effects people use to cast about anything nowadaws. The expensive part is the latex, but silicone is cheap.
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Offline UltimatePartyBear

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #267 on: April 20, 2010, 07:53:54 PM »
Cookbook Recalled for Recipe Calling for "Ground Black People"

I guess they had to recall it because it asked for an ingredient you just can't buy anymore.

...And that joke set a new personal record for poor taste.  I'm very sorry.

Offline EasyCure

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #268 on: April 20, 2010, 08:00:27 PM »
Cookbook Recalled for Recipe Calling for "Ground Black People"

I guess they had to recall it because it asked for an ingredient you just can't buy anymore.

...And that joke set a new personal record for poor taste.  I'm very sorry.

It took me a second to figure out what 'joke" you were talking about and then it hit me. That made me proud to NOT be a racist, thanks :)
February 07, 2003, 02:35:52 PM
EASYCURE: I remember thinking(don't ask me why) this was a blond haired, blue eyed, chiseled athlete. Like he looked like Seigfried before he became Nightmare.

Offline UltimatePartyBear

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #269 on: April 20, 2010, 08:04:33 PM »
It took me a second to figure out what 'joke" you were talking about and then it hit me. That made me proud to NOT be a racist, thanks :)

I'm going to take that to mean my lame joke had a net positive effect.  Conscience cleared!

Offline BlackNMild2k1

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #270 on: April 30, 2010, 04:31:45 PM »
Q: Whats probably illegal in most states*, absolutely disgusting, disturbing and oh so inappropriate?
A: These 3 news stories;

1) 72yr old Grandma is in love and having a baby with her Grandson
Quote
When 72-year-old Pearl met her grandson, little did she realise she'd   soon be 'pregnant' with his child
 
  Pearl Carter is positively glowing with joy. She has a handsome new   boyfriend, is enjoying an active sex life after many years of celibacy   and, amazingly, is preparing to become a mother again.
 
  But the retired grandmother isn't carrying the baby herself. She and her   young lover have spent a staggering $54,000 hiring a surrogate to help   them with their dreams of having a child.
 
  What makes Pearl's decision to become a mum again even more shocking is   that her new boyfriend is her biological grandson, 26-year-old Phil   Bailey.
 
  Phil is the son of Pearl's daughter Lynette Bailey, and the pair is   braving public horror and even prison by breaking one of the last taboos   â€“ incest.

2) Woman passes STD's from horse to man and his dog..... possibly a pig too
Quote
CLYMER - An Indiana County woman has been charged with having sex with a   horse, state police at Indiana said Tuesday.
 
  Dovie Lee Kerner, 46, of Plumville also allegedly had sex with other   animals including a dog and a pig, court documents state.
 

  The investigation began in November 2008 when it was reported by two   officials from the Humane Society of Indiana County, police said.
 
  One of the officials said she received a phone call from a confidential   informant who asked her if it was illegal to have sex with an animal.   When told yes, the informant said he had a video on his cell phone of   Kerner having sex with a horse, court documents state.
 
  Because of Kerner's alleged sexual activities with other men and   animals, the informant, who had dated the woman, and his Jack Russell   terrier both contracted sexually transmitted diseases, court documents   state.
 
  Kerner is charged with two counts each of obscene and other sexual   materials and performances and disorderly conduct and one count of   sexual intercourse with an animal.
 
  The charges were filed before Magisterial District Judge George Thachik.   No preliminary hearing date has been set, according to online court   records.

3) AnEEL insertion prank doesn't go as planned...
Quote
A CHEF has died after an EEL was put up his bum.
 
  Shocked doctors in Sichuan, China, found the sea creature in the   59-year-old man's rectum after his death, it has been reported.
 
  The 50cm(19inch) long Asian swamp eel was allegedly inserted into the unnamed   man's bottom, after he passed out drunk, by pals playing a prank on him.
 
  Medics said the eel had devoured his bowels.

*Obviously states like Kentucky, Arkansas, Alabama and parts of Virginia are not included.

Offline Caliban

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #271 on: April 30, 2010, 08:10:55 PM »
Wow, just wow. Those stories seem just as bad as the ones I sometimes read on sankakucomplex.com (site is very NSFW by the way).

Offline BlackNMild2k1

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #272 on: April 30, 2010, 08:21:56 PM »
the last one was also on there, but I didn't want to link to it because of the NSFW nature of it.

Offline BeautifulShy

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #273 on: May 01, 2010, 04:06:39 AM »
My faith in humanity is waning.:'(
Maxi is dead. I killed him and took his posts and changed genders.
Alexis, she/her/Miss

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Offline D_Average

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Re: I'm not making it up, it's in the NEWZ, DEWD.
« Reply #274 on: May 01, 2010, 11:44:49 PM »
This story is just so heartwarming.  Can't go wrong with the ole bow n arrow!
http://cbs3.com/local/Trenton.Man.Arrested.2.1666866.html
Don't hate me, hate the money I see, clothes that I buy
Ice that I wear, clothes that I try....