Most of the problem is just how bad Nintendo online is. We had some great MK7 nights when we got almost everybody into the chat room and everybody was clued into the system. Right now it takes one knuckle head to ruin a night by jumping into a lobby and hitting start. Then when the damn thing auto starts, half the people freak out and leave. There is no control. It's herding cats and dogs together. I would know, I have been to almost every MK7 night organizing. Even if we have fewer players, it's not much of a problem if I can talk to them.
The lack of a real communications system built in is just another factor working against it. I might not like Hero Of Ruin to buy it, but have VC is a massive step forward.
In the end, it's not really that you not doing a good job isanolord, it's the odds are just against you. Maybe bringing in some house rules and explaining some basic online etiquette might help. Mandatory chat usage would be excellent, but the worry is that might be crossing the line and there isn't any tools to enforce it. Other than that you just have to keep rolling the dice and hope you get a good night.