Topic: Enlightenment Review (Humorous)

[dus]

   When I first powered up my Gumcube, I saw the Enlightenment insignia pop up, followed by the Dentindo sign. I started a new file, and was blown to mars by the opening cut scene graphics. There was a girl and a small mailman standing on a cliff, and a rabid squirell hopped up and killed them both. But then a floating sensei/philosiphor came floating out of the mailman's mailbag, and called himself "Hilton of the World" (for now, we will call him "Hilton", okay?).

  There aren't many games based on floating sensei/philosophers, so it was a fresh, new outlook for first-person shooters. I know what you're thinking- a first-person shooter? Yes, yes, the rumors are true. It is a FPS!

  Enlightenment has a very unique look- instead of typical shooter graphics (like the terrible Halo graphics) these visuals are blocky and pixely. But that is what's so great about this game! The controls are fabulous. You use the Z button to walk around, and c-stick to stab and shoot the rabid squirrells. Yellow mucus spews out of them when you fire, and you can get extra energy by cooking them and stuffing them (will onions) up your rear... nostril, that is! : )

  I think this is a fabulous game, and anyone looking for a challenge should pick this one up immediatly!

Pros-

-Super sensei/philosiphor abilities and weapons!

-one and one-half levels of play!

-Super sensei/philosiphor abilities and weapons!

Cons-

- There are no cons!

-It's a little too perfect.

-Seriously!


Graphics-9.0
  Like I said, better than Halo's chunky, unrealistic graphics. These graphics are pixely and, well, just plain amazin'!

Sound-10
  After playing this game, you will start to ignore squirell's screams for mercy! [NO SQUIRRELLS WERE HARMED OR SHOULD BE HARMED IN AND FOR THE MAKING OF THIS JOKE REVIEW! I REPEAT, DO NOT HURT ANY SQUIRRELLS! SERIOUSLY! NO JOKING, FOOL!]

Control-10
  Even after three reconstuctive surgeries for my hands and wrists, I still say that all the extreme and excrutiating pain and the 3.9 million dollars in hand surgery is still worth playing.

FINAL-100,000,000.0!!!
  Incredible! Buy it now! [DON'T HURT THE SQUIRELLS!]

[Majexto]

Does it have multiplayer?

[dus]

Dude! There is 5-player multiplayer!!! I don't know how this is possible, but the game says it's true, so it must be true!

[KDR_11k]

Enlightenment seemed pretty mouse controlled the last time I fired it up, but then again that could be my X11... However, I think Windowmaker is superior!

[dus]

Dude, ain't nothin' superior to Enlightenment! It rocks!