Topic: Zero Punctuation

[GoldenPhoenix]

So, are we saying the review suck because its poorly made and the opinions don't make sense, or are we saying the review sucks for the sole fact that its bashing Smash Bros.?

I'd actually say since I'm tired of his reviews, that it probably will suck when I hear it.

[Smoke39]

So, are we saying the review suck because its poorly made and the opinions don't make sense, or are we saying the review sucks for the sole fact that its bashing Smash Bros.?

Most of his points not relating to the subspace emissary aren't very good.  His primary complaint seems to be that the game is nothing but mindless button mashing, which just isn't true. :/

[Adrock]

The jokes are hit or miss... usually miss. As reviews, they fail immensely. In the latest one, he admits he doesn't like games like Smash Bros. then complains that he didn't enjoy the game. Why even review the game then? To be funny? Yeah, I'm all for comedy, but that's a very fundamental flaw to his whole schtick.

[DAaaMan64]

No I'm saying it isn't good because he doesn't seemed to have played much of it and it really isn't his genre.  We run into those same complaints with other reviewers too.  I enjoy his videos most of the time. 

[that Baby guy]

Well, I think it's a poor review, in general.  I already said the subspace part was good, but he didn't tackle the other single player modes, hit-or-miss as they are, and he didn't hit up on customization, roster size, character-depth, and the difference between this game and standard fighters, like MK, SF, KoF, and the several others.  All he had to say about that was "BUTTON MASHER", despite all the different moves having varying effects, hit ranges, and strategies.  His entire criticism of the multiplayer, that it all comes down to who mashes the buttons best, is negated by the second half of his review, where he says that if you play the single player, you become "That Guy," and are able to beat everyone.  If the game's a button masher, playing for a measly ten hours through a story mode that actually requires an entirely different battle approach than a VS. battle shouldn't make you much better than your friends.

Essentially, he contradicts his entire basis of an argument, but doesn't like it anyways.  It's really too bad, because it sounds like he played the game one night + ten hours of single player.  While I'm one upset that the content addition between Melee and Brawl wasn't of the volume I'd appreciate, he's upset because if you play single player, you get too good, and if you play multiplayer it doesn't matter how good you are when a victor is decided.  He doesn't discuss the trophies, the challenges, the poorly constructed "Brawl" battles with the Zako's or whatever they're called.  He missed the entire event mode.  He missed multiplayer options, and generally, his review didn't hit on much of the game's content.  That's why I think it's a bad review.  There are legitimate complaints about Brawl.  "I just don't like it" is legitimate as well, but not from a "professional" reviewer.  He walked into the review with a closed mind and left with the same outlook.  Nothing Brawl could be would change that.  That's what made it terrible.

Did I defend my point to whomever it was that was saying something earlier?

[DAaaMan64]

You pretty well crucified him. Good work.  Maybe you should make an Anti-ZP vid.

[ShyGuy]

He's not a real reviewer anyway. wink wink nudge nudge

[NWR_pap64]

The reason I asked is because in other websites that featured the review when people defend him the first thing they say is "OMG the only reason you think he sucks its because its a Nintendo game!". Let's be honest here, we all thought he was great when he was reviewing other games, but started hating him the minute he started mocking good games.

In all honesty, I started getting tired of his stuff right after the Mario Galaxy review, in which he spent saying how the game could have been controlled with a normal controller when the game offers a lot of challenges that couldn't have been done on the GC. Afterwards, I felt he wasn't even reviewing games, just bashing them for the sake of bashing.

I think what kills him is that people WANT him to bash games, even the truly fantastic ones. So that affects his credibility as a reviewer.

[that Baby guy]

The thing is, pap, is that typically, he reviews bad games, or at least mediocre ones that aren't worth the time to play.  When the guy played portal, he gushed about it, and the rest of the Orange Box.  When he played Guitar Hero III, he gave both good and bad about it, with his only real complaint being that the game was too hard compared to prior entries.  From what I've seen, he has given good reviews, and I've enjoyed watching those reviews just as much as the ones where he takes a crap on a game.  I don't expect the guy to love every thing he plays, but I thought that he was an honest member of the media.

I suppose now I see that he's really just someone who likes to pander to an audience.  I, too, didn't like his SMG review that much, but I felt that at least his feelings about the Wii-Remote were true; the game could have been played on any system from the last generation, possibly looking slightly less pretty, maybe even not.  I thought SMG's control, including the pointer, shooting star bits, and spinning were top notch, though, and that he overlooked the co-op end of things, being the friendless bastard he is.  Since most of what he said made sense, I let it slide.

I suppose I've got to agree with you, though.  As time goes by, he's just going to figure out more ways to insult more games, and his audience will probably expand in magnitudes, so there's no real use in complaining about it, he's doing what his fans like, and no one'll be able to convince him otherwise.

[NWR_pap64]

One other thing about him is that he confesses doing things that would get any other reviewer tar and feathered, castrated, crucified and burned alive.

For example, in his Phantom Hourglass review he confesses that he got stuck on one part and stopped playing the game. Meaning that he didn't even bother to finish the game before making a final judgment.

Like I said, if a reviewer confesses that he didn't finish a game, much less even play it, he would get killed by the internet. I remember a lot of people criticized Yahtzee for that.

He also kept bitching about the sailing and how Nintendo opted to ignore its fanbase. I haven't played the game, but I have heard Nintendo put at least some effort into the sailing so it was smoother and faster.

Finally, it seems that the main reason he hates QTE (quick time events) in games is because he's not very good at it. While I do agree that these events can be a cheap way of adding difficulty to the game he just thinks that any game that has game sucks, no matter how well implemented they are.

So yeah, it does look like he started out as an honest reviewer, but as the fans kept seeing him as some sort of British Angry Videogame Nerd he forced himself to bashing everything or else people will complain about the review "not being funny".

[vudu]

So yeah, it does look like he started out as an honest reviewer, but as the fans kept seeing him as some sort of British Angry Videogame Nerd he forced himself to bashing everything or else people will complain about the review "not being funny".

Started out as an honest reviewer?  His first "review" was of the Heavenly Sword demo and a preview movie for Resident Evil 5.  I don't think he's ever pretended his videos are anything even remotely close to a real review.

[Smoke39]

Yeah, his "reviews" are more about making fun of conventions in game design than about actual, robust reviews.

[Enner]

His first stuff was on The Darkness Demo and Fable. Those vids are probably still on youtube.

Also, he's on the job. I think he even admited to wanting to selling out on the Australian Podcast he guest starred in. I think that's why he was reviewing Peggle: it's because his editor asked him to. And that probably brings us to why he talks about Halo 3, Smash Bros. Brawl, and some other games; his editor wanted him (probably to generate some major hits to the site) to do it and perhaps he succumbed to the fan requests.
"Honest/professional" reviewer or not, I welcome whatever thoughts he doles out each Wednesday. They may lack expected formality and be very personal nitpicking, but they are interesting thoughts none the less.

As for SMG linearity, he likes adventure games and has no problem with games being a straight arrow. i'm guessing that why he didn't think mention linearity in SMG as a problem. I think it makes sense when you keep in mind that some of the 2D Marios are a straight 1-2-3 level progression. Well, then there's  SMB3 that lets you do 1-2-4.

[animecyberrat]

I never understood the whole linear/nonlinear argument myself. The problem with reviewing a Mario game is there are too many people who love it just because it is Mario, like those who defended it months before it came out, and there are those who feel Mario is for kids so you have two groups of people on opposite ends of the fence both of which have massive numbers and you can't please them all without offending most of the others.


Like my genuwine complaints about Mario Sunshine, but there are people who loved it so much they couldn't accept there are those out there that were disapointed with the game, or what IceCOld said about not trusting my views EVER if I had anything negative to say about Galaxy, as if the game is so good one could not like it. Not saying I don't, never played it, but I had such a hard time getting into Sunshine I am sceptical about Galaxies. Sure it looks fun and from what I hear a lot of what I had issues with Sunshine have been fixed for Galaxies so I may still like it. If I had money I would certainly buy it or at least rent it to give it a shot.


But to say my opinions don't matter at all if I somehow don't find the game interesting to me is a total pile of garbage. I mean there are tons of games I really wanted to like, especially with so many people here bragging about them up and down, but when I tried them out, they just weren't for me.


Last time I tried being open about my views I got flamed and harassed until I blew up defending myself and was banned for it. Maybe I should have chosen a better approach to my argument, but to talk trash on someone because their subjective opinion differs from yours is just ignorant on so many levels.

That is what makes it so hard to write an honest review of a Nintendo game because you can't piss off the fans and at the same time you have to be careful not to over exaggerate. In all honesty I hated Sunshine, but when ever I try and explain *why* I hated it, I face fierce opposition and name calling. Truth is if you were me you would feel the same way and If I was you I would feel the way you do about it, but people are all different and have different experiences, different tastes and different levels of tolerance.

If someone was to write a negative review of Final Fantasy 7 the whole internet would be in a frenzy, but if someone genuwinely hated the game they are a noob or idiot for not being able to figure it out. Not that I don't love FF7 it's one of my all time favorite games, but the point is too many people hold it dear to them that they can't comprehend the thought of someone not liking it, and it is often that way with Nintendo games, especially their Original IP, it's like they can do no wrong in some peoples eyes.


If I made a list of the GC games I hated and the ones I liked most people on here would refuse to take me seriously, which is fine I supposed but it's childish to some degree. But I confess a lot of it is things in my life have shaped my view on everything so there are just somethings that used to interest me, now they either mean little to nothing or they disgust me.


I feel the same way about movies as well. But I am one who is very limited in what types of movies I enjoy so again if I made a list of my favorite movies most people would think the same things as if I made a list of video games I hate/love.

[GoldenPhoenix]

People made fun of me for liking Cruis'n, stupid people how childish you guys are! Geesh grow up, you hurtz my feelings.

[animecyberrat]

Well I love the Cruisin' games, all of them so I agree with you there.

[GoldenPhoenix]

I may be a bit confused, but isn't Sunshine one of the most despised Mario platformers. So would that put your opinion (The Rat person) in with the majority?

[animecyberrat]

No it is WHY I hate the game. I can't say it without pissing people off, for a hint though it is along the same lines as why I can't stand the Monkey Ball Games.