Topics

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General Chat / Dinosaur Discussion Questions ROUND 2

« on: November 04, 2012, 09:34:11 PM »

I've been getting some requests to have another Dinosaur Discussion segment on Connectivity. You know what that means--I need questions from YOU good people! There hasn't been a ton of news lately; the most interesting news stories have been the feathered ornithomimosaur and the study about how Microraptor used its hindlimb "wings." But surely there are more general questions you lovely listeners have.


And they don't have to be dinosaur-specific. I'm fairly knowledgeable in most areas of tetrapod paleo. It's invertebrates and fish that I have a harder time with. So avoid those questions. But whatever else? GO!

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General Chat / Paleo Questions for Connectivity

« on: July 31, 2012, 11:02:03 PM »

Hey kids.


I've been trying for months to get my co-hosts to participate in a dinosaur-themed bonus segment of Connectivity but nobody will step up. So today I came up with a new idea: my co-host reads questions that YOU folks ask in this thread. Depending on the turnout, I can't guarantee they'll all be answered, but we can always do another segment later.


So ask your extinct organism-related questions here! I will try VERY hard to resist answering them until the show.

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Nintendo Gaming / Mighty Switch Force Speed Run Bragging Thread

« on: May 25, 2012, 10:09:44 PM »

Post your best times for the normal and bonus missions!
Updated with new records!!

Mission 1:  1:14.45
Mission 2:  0:46.41
Mission 3:  0:23.85
Mission 4:  1:02.28
Mission 5:  0:58.46
Mission 6:  1:23.83
Mission 7:  0:42.90
Mission 8:  0:25.90
Mission 9:  1:33.50
Mission 10: 1:48.13
Mission 11: 0:55.46
Mission 12: 1:31.25
Mission 13: 1:23.05
Mission 14: 1:56.96
Mission 15: 1:40.65
Mission 16: 3:49.56
Bonus 1:  1:48.48
Bonus 2:  0:54.33
Bonus 3:  1:40.65
Bonus 4:  2:07.70
Bonus 5:  2:32.83
I find the lock-block missions are the most frustrating.

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NWR Forums Discord / I need to start a Kickstarter

« on: May 15, 2012, 10:41:49 PM »

For this: (REMOVED FOR OBLITERATING SITE GUIDELINES)
I NEEDZ it. But it's like $230 before shipping. On Amazon.
*sigh*
I need a "Donate" button.

Edit note: Seriously, Zach? Fair warning, this kind of stuff = bans

Edit note: Awww. Sorry everyone.

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Nintendo Gaming / Circle Pad Pro won't connect

« on: March 18, 2012, 01:33:25 AM »

Hey folks. Since I got my 3DS back from repairs, my CCP has been acting funny.
When I try to start up MGS3DS, it says it's not connected (even though it clearly is) and I go into the options menu and enable it, but then it says it's still not connected. Is this happening to anybody else?

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NWR Forums Discord / I'm the next Tomonobu Itagaki

« on: August 13, 2011, 10:47:03 PM »

It's not secret that I have lots of girlie figures, of superheroines, video game babes, and various other franchise-specific girls. I've had a few requests to parade them around, so here they be, complete with commentary.

Ame-Comi's Batgirl
Height: About ten inches
Cost: Cheaper than this line is now
Cup Size: Amazing
Costume Changes: I approve, generally
Best Part: Aside from the rack, probably the bomber-style helmet

Ame-Comi's Power Girl
Secret ID: Kara Zor-L, Karen Starr, Busty Flying Lass
Height: About 10 inches
Cup Size: It's like they know me personally
Costume Changes: Certainly a more futuristic look. I like it.
Bubbleheaded Bleach Blonde: She comes on at 5
Stupidest Part: Aside from her clueless expression, the giant gold chain is pretty retarded

Ame-Comi's Wonder Woman
Height: 11 inches when you count her tentacle hair
Costume changes: Look, they had to do something. This is pretty cool, I think.
Cup Size: Certainly not where I'd put it, but respectable nonetheless
Arm status: Shielded
Fun Fact: You can almost recreate her in Soul Calibur IV
Expression: Pissed

Kotobukiya's Bishoujo Catwoman
Height: About 9 inches
Breast Shape: Torpedo
Cup Size: Large enough to prevent her from zipping all the way up
Face: Way too Asian-influenced
Is That Batman? No, it's just a Batman-shaped gargoyle
Accessories: Two stupid cats that fall over constantly, and a bendy whip

Kotobukiya's Bishoujo Wonder Woman
Height: About 8 inches
Cup Size: Christina Hendricks-esque
Yeah, Whatever: No, seriously, from any other angle she is spilling out from all sides
Awesome: I know, right?
Base: Pretty effing cool, what with the Sparta-themed shield and helmet
Stupidest Element: I've never liked that Lasso of Truth

Kotobukiya's Bishoujo Black Widow
Height: About 8 inches
Cup Size: Hard to say--they're kind of squashed together unrealistically
Huh? Maybe I should've taken a front shot. They look like two round rocks touching in the middle.
That's disappointing: I know.
Despite that: She's a great, dynamic figure with cool hair and the gun and...honestly, a nice ass.

Kotobukiya's Bishoujo Rogue
Do You Like This Line? Yes. Yes I do.
Height: About 8 inches
Cup Size: Not X-Men: Schism big, but big enough
The Little Details: I effing love 'em. Look at those creases in her boots. SO GREAT.
90's Short Jacket: Why the hate? I love those things.

Kotobukiya's Bishoujo Phoenix
Height: About 9 inches
Cost: Free, since I had a bunch of store credit
Why Did You Get the Red One? I kind of wish I had, since Rogue is also green.
Cup Size: Kind of ridiculous, even for me.
Breast Shape: Sidewinders is what they call 'em.
Favored Element: She likes fire, I guess. I love the base, and I LOVE her hair. Very dynamic.

Kotobukiya's To Heart 2 "PANIC!" Tamaki Kousaka
Who? I actually have no idea. Some Japanese visual novel for PS2/PSP. I guess.
Height: Actually one of my larger figures. Ten inches, I think.
Dare I Ask: Yeah, they're pretty gigantic, especially from the sides.
Bikini Status: Seemingly falling off. A moment caught in time, you might say.
You Might Say: I like the cheesecake factor a lot here, and her expression is priceless.
Going Through Her Mind: "Oh ****!"

I HAVE NO IDEA
Seriously? Yeah, no idea. She was a cheap Craigslist purchase. $20.
Height: About 8 inches
Pigtails: Present and removable
Top: Present and removable
Worth Removing? Not especially. Breasts don't...look like that. I mean, some do, but...
Stop Hedging: Fine. I don't especially like breasts shaped like that. Too...straight-on.
Let's Move On: Oh, yes, let's.

Venus On the Beach Kasumi
Height: Never measured her
Cost: Cheaper than buying her online and paying shipping to Alaska
Cup Size: Moderate compared to my other Kasumis
Cast-Off Status: Never again. Her other costume required lots of disassembly.
Expression: Kind of empty-headed
Problems? Way too much cameltoe.

Venus on the Beach Kokoro
Height: About 9 inches without the umbrella, ella, ella, aye.
Got Her As: A birthday present to my goddamn self
Cup Size: Completely at odds with her in-game model
Favorite Status? Way up there. She has so many lovely little details, and her expression is perfect.
Cast-off Status: Never again. Her alternate costume scratches her paint. It's also not much of a swimsuit.
Parasol: Made of wood, functional, impressive for what it is.

Kotobukiya's Tifa Lockhart
Height: About 8 inches
Bra Status: MIA.
Cup Size: Impressive
Made Of: Something other than PVC. Not sure what.
Thumbs-Up: At least she's not Samus.
Funny Story: I saw her in a Kenai comic shop. Some guy was selling her for $75. I balked and looked on eBay. Found her for $40, with like $6 for shipping. I wanted to call that Kenai guy and tell him.

Masame Amaha
From What, Exactly? The Witchblade anime, which isn't terrible.
Made Of: The kind of rubbery plastic that gets all bendy when left in the car.
Height: Haven't measured her yet. She's new.
Cup Size: A bit on the large side
Craftsmanship: Not fantastic. There's a really obvious seam where her left arm connects to the rest of the mold. There are "creases" in her skin where the armor presses inward, which isn't in the anime.
Most Puzzling Feature: Her metal thong and, uh...I'd rather not say.
Oh Com'on: There's a...thing...coming off the thong.
Not Helpful: It's like an silver armor clit, okay? I'm considering filing it off.
Reaction Upon Seeing It: *Sideshow Bob-esque mutter*

BOME's DoA2: Hardcore Kasumi
Height: About 7 inches
Cup Size: Completely at odds with her character model
Expression: There isn't one
Hair: Translucent
Notability: My first figure, the one who got me into this crazy hobby.
Wife's Initial Reaction: "Her breasts are spilling out."
Irony, Much? Sort of, considering the girls I buy NOW.

Max Factory's DoA3 Kasumi
Expression: Retarded
Breast Status: Spilling out
Molding Problems: Numerous and irritating
Max Factory: Not a fan.
Why'd You Buy Her? She was $30 on Craigslist and hovers around $140 on eBay/Amazon. I wanted to strike while the iron was hot. Also, she tended to be rated well. Maybe I just got a bad mold?
Display Problems: You can't see her face...or her rack because she's bent so far over. Thanks, Max Factory!

Yamato's Velvet from Odin Sphere
Height: About 11 inches
Cup Size: Not especially large, but perky
Temperature: For Velvet, it's always pretty cold outside (or inside)
Gams: Go for miles
Castoff Status: You can take her skirt off. She's then wearing a stupid thong, so her skirt stays on.
Chain Status: Attached to her wrists via nearly microscopic, clear plassic clips. These clips are easily lost or dropped, so I hate them. But the chain is effing awesome. It has some weight to it.
The Little Details: SO many. Velvet is also near the top of my "favorite figures" list.
Poseability: So many options.
Notability: My first specially-ordered figure.
Cost: Almost as much as Brandy (below)

Clayburn Moore's Brandy Carter
From...? Frank Cho's amazing comic Liberty Meadows
Height: Just over 12 inches
Weight: Substantial. She's made of something like procelain or ceremics
Bra Status: MIA
Cup Size: Substantial, in the comic and here
Other Characters: Oscar, the weiner dog, and Truman, a duck
Based On: One of comic's covers. I forget which cover.
Brandy Status: The Holotype.
Funny Story: Buying Brandy at Zanadu in downtown Seattle was the only enjoyment I got out of PAX in 2008 (or whenever I went). She was kind of a hassle getting back home, though.
Cost: You don't want to know.
I'll post more pics as I get more girls.

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Nintendo Gaming / Conduit 2

« on: May 09, 2011, 02:07:57 AM »

Maybe it's more fun with friends?
 
Halbred: 4556-0371-9362

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General Chat / Rate the Last Book You've Read

« on: October 25, 2010, 04:32:43 PM »

Vudu's request is my command.
 
New Perspectives on Horned Dinosaurs
The short answer is: if you are serious in any way about dinosaur paleontology, you have to buy and read this book. Several new taxa are named, and I imagine at least two of them will be invalidated in the coming years (Tatankaceratops, Ojoceratops). There is excellent analysis about paleoecology and environmental preferences, and even one paper discussing niche partitioning among ceratopsids. An excellent book.
 
The Daily Show Presents: Earth
This book is hilarious, but unfortunately a little too topical. Instead of being a narrative text like its superior predecessor, "Earth" jumps around a lot, and the text is tied to many, many (too many) images and photographs. Some of the pages are difficult to read because of this format. Still worth a read, though, as there are so many things that will make you laugh and...sometimes...think.
 
Hollywood Nudes in 3-D!
Found this in the bargain section at Barnes & Nobel. I like old pin-up books, both paintings and photography, so the very idea of 3D was appealing to me. Unfortunately, the 3D is poorly done. The color layers are a little too far apart in many of the images, so the effect isn't very good. The photos are beautiful but obviously archival, and it's possible that a lot of them simply don't transfer to 3D very well. The asking price was $10, so I can't really complain, but it's kind of a wasted opportunity.
 
Cover Run: The DC Covers of Adam Hughes
Hughes is one of my favorite comic artists (although he's got some kind of thing against hips). This book showcases his favorite DC comic covers. He spends a little too much time yacking about his Wonder Woman run. His Catwoman run is much more interesting, IMO. Luckily, that's in here too. A lot of early work and etc. covers fill out a surprisingly engaging and beautiful volume. Not cheap, but if you're a fan, it's priceless.

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NWR Forums Discord / Mindless Batman 3 Speculation Thread

« on: October 14, 2010, 03:11:15 PM »

What's Known: They're working on Batman 3 right now. The Joker will not be in it, because Nolan has said that he will not replace Heath Ledger (and he should not). This movie will be Nolan's last Batman film, as he wants the trilogy to be a complete story.
 
What's Rumored: The dude from Inception and 3rd Rock from the Sun might've been cast as Edward Nigma, and Tom Hardy (also from Inception) has supposedly just been cast as an unknown villain. Two-Face may come back in some capacity.
 
My Mindless Speculation: Robin will not be introduced. He doesn't fit into Nolan's version of Batman. Although I'm sad about it, I doubt Catwoman will appear either. I think Riddler would make a great villain, although he might be difficult to create action around. I think Hardy might make a good Penguin. Before Tim Burton ruined the character, the Penguin was a proper but evil businessman who ran a swanky club that he used as a meeting place for backdoor crime deals. He was essentially a mob boss, and he could be modified to BE a mob boss in Nolan's universe. I don't know if Hardy fits the profile, but anything's possible.
 

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General Chat / Podcast Recommendations

« on: August 27, 2010, 07:02:30 PM »

What podcasts do ya'll listen to? I need to listen to more podcasts. Ideally, one a day so I have something to do while I'm going through my lengthy morning medication routine.
 
Here are the podcasts I currently listen to:
 
RFN
Radio Trivia
Newscast
Player One Podcast
Talk of the Nation: Science Friday
 
Not a lot there. I've heard good things about Giant Bombcast. You guys?

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NWR Forums Discord / Fanfic Proposals

« on: June 17, 2010, 03:42:58 PM »

Time to start a new thread. This one is for fanfics or reboots or whatever you've had in your head. Don't write the whole story, just the basic tenants.
 
I'll go first. I've wanted to reimagine the TMNT for a really long time, because I don't think any writers have done that foursome any favors since the Archie Adventure Series ended (although, to be fair, the Image series had some cool ideas).
 
My dream story takes place in 2020: the Turtles live apart and have largely given up crime fighting. The Utroms have left Earth completely, and with them, the Triceraton threat has disappeared. Shredder NEVER COMES BACK EVER. The world will be portrayed much as it was in the "future" storylines of the Archie Adventures series: rising sea levels, acceptance of mutants into society, and cybernetics becoming a reality. Splinter has been dead for at least 10 years.
 
Michelangelo is a successful fiction novelist and lives in an apartment with his cat. Leonardo teaches martial arts classes to both human and mutant students, and lives upstairs from his studio. Raphael has a mutant fox girlfriend (not Ninjara) and runs a bar. He and Casey Jones remain good friends, and while both have the itch for their old crime-fighting days, they both also realize they have responsibilities now. Donatello has started a sophisticated tech engineering firm (TurtleCo). While he's the CEO, he also works in the lab. He is particularily interested in cybernetics. This passion is shared by his friend and collegue, Manx, a cat mutant. April has gone back into the antique business. Her and Casey's daughter, Shadow, is in college.
 
I would like stories to develop around the emergence of new villains, including two important callbacks: Armaggon and the Rat King. Karai could play a part, but she's living in Japan now and the Foot Clan has disbanded. She'd also be quite old, so there's that. Once crime starts moving back up, I see Raphael getting back into the vigilante business, maybe with some help from Donatello. Kind of an Iron Man sort of thing, but more spartan. Of course, Manx eventually becomes obsessed with cybernetics to an unhealthy degree and transforms himself into Verminator. That wouldn't happen for awhile. I'd want Manx to be a tragic character.
 
What do you all think? Post comments and your own fanfic proposals!
 

[Samus Aran's newest adventure touches down on August 31.]

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TalkBack / PREVIEWS: Metroid: Other M

« on: June 16, 2010, 07:36:19 PM »

Samus Aran's newest adventure touches down on August 31.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/previewArt.cfm?artid=23404

 Nintendo and Team Ninja have been busy creating one of the Wii’s most anticipated titles for 2010. Metroid: Other M will be a return to 2D(-ish) form after the three Metroid Prime games, although there are still vestiges of that series in this newest game.    

For starters, although Samus will be controlled largely in 3rd person, the player can point the Wii Remote at the screen to immediately enter a first-person perspective, where enemies can be locked onto and missiles can be fired. It appears that the first-person perspective may offer other incentives too, such as interacting with objects. Another interesting new feature is context-specific melee attacks, though details on these are currently scarce. The game does not support the Nunchuk, so players will be navigating 3D space with the Wii Remote’s D-pad.      The game starts off at the end of Super Metroid, and concerns Samus’ exploration of a decommissioned Galactic Federation space facility called the Bottle Ship. In a possible nod to Metroid Fusion, it appears that the Bottle Ship features several artificial environments for Samus to explore. She will encounter her old friends from her days in the Galactic Federation military, including her commanding officer, Adam Malkovich.    

Metroid: Other M will hit stores on August 31.

[Welcome to the Plane of Anguish! Here's your complimentary meathook.]

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TalkBack / REVIEWS: Dementium II

« on: June 04, 2010, 11:26:12 AM »

Welcome to the Plane of Anguish! Here's your complimentary meathook.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=23197

 Remember the original Dementium? Neil just discussed it in his Extra Life special, and I reviewed the game way back in 2008.  The original game is all right, but clearly a rookie effort, and it is plagued by some pretty terrible design choices.  This second game fixes the vast majority of my problems with the original, but manages to add its own irritating grievances. Despite that, if you play the game with a few key PROTIPS in mind, you should emerge a happy, satisfied gamer.    

The first thing Dementium 2 gets right is atmosphere. The abandoned hallways of a deteriorating mental hospital are rife with bloodstains, grime, and disarray. The monsters are interesting and make telltale sounds, so you know they’re coming before you see them. Sometimes that gives you time to set up an attack. Other times, you become paranoid when you haven’t seen them for a few minutes. The boss battles are epic and largely enjoyable, though the final two suffer from some design issues that I’ll get to in a minute. The Dementium team at Renegade Kid (who also made The Ward and Moon) really know how to make the system sing at this point. The first game’s fantastic flashlight effect is back here, and I still love it. I’d say Dementium 2 is comparable to a low-res N64 shooter, which is no small feat. Not all the production values are consistent, however. The musical score is either absent or too repetitious, and I found myself turning the music down entirely in the options menu and listening only to the monsters and ambient noise.    

The gunplay has improved somewhat, with more available weapons of varying strength, though it’s easy to miss the best one if you don’t remember what specific doors are unlocked by specific keys. Because of the scarcity of ammunition, however, Dementium 2 tosses a handful of interesting melee weapons at you, including a buzz saw, sledgehammer, and flamethrower. There’s one weapon, acquired late in the game, that can be thrown like a boomerang, but it barely does any damage. It is useful only when you need a ranged weapon and have no ammo (this becomes a problem during the final boss fight).    

The rarity of ammo would not be so problematic if the game didn’t force you into kill rooms. Unless you want to waste all your health pills fighting off demons at fisticuff range (they gather around you), you’ll need to make use of your guns. But if you use your weapons, you’ll be forced to spend the next half-hour searching for ammo and stabbing monsters with a knife along the way. So, here’s the first PROTIP: Run away from enemies that are not in kill rooms. They’re easily avoided anyway, and nobody ever drops a good helm (or anything else).    

Boss encounters are great, but go on too long. You’d think that a shotgun to the face at point-blank range would knock some serious HP off their meter, but you’d be wrong. The first and last bosses are the worst offenders. For the first boss, you are forced to use a knife. The fight takes ten to fifteen minutes, and that’s if you don’t die. Your reward for the battle is a handgun. The final boss has a monumental amount of HP, and if you’ve been “wasting” ammo on non-kill room enemies, you won’t even get him down to half health. That’s where the boomerang comes out, hand-cramping seizes up, and you restart the game. So, PROTIP number two: Remember to go all the way back to the second map (they’re all connected) and grab the best gun before diving into the last boss’s area.    

The plot is intriguing, and it’s never really clear what "side" you’re on. Are you the crazy one, or has the rest of the world unwound itself? Happily, the end of the game makes you think, and has inspired me to replay it with that knowledge in mind. The creature design is top-notch. I’d love to see Renegade Kid's concept art, especially for a gigantic boss close to the end. Oh, that’s right: PROTIP number three: when you encounter this behemoth, turn around and run away from it. After a little while, your path will become clear, by accident if nothing else.    

My problems with the first game—a useless map and no checkpoints—are somewhat cured here. The maps here are smaller, but they all interconnect somehow, and you are rarely locked out of previous areas. The save system also got an overhaul, and now features distinct save points within each area. Unfortunately, some are poorly placed. If I get killed by a boss, and the last save point was ten minutes away, that’s annoying.     Aside from the story mode, there’s not much to see here aside from Survival mode, which is exactly what it sounds like—wipe out hoards of monsters until you die. The game is still a first-rate effort, despite its middling problems. Anyone who enjoyed Southpeak’s previous effort, Moon, will also dig this game. Just follow those PROTIPS that I’ve scattered throughout the review, and your first playthrough will be as enjoyable as my second one.

Pros:
       

Amazing graphics and monster design

 

Strong arsenal of melee and ranged weapons

 

Save points and useful map!

       Cons:
       

Serious lack of replay value

 

Rare ammo and kill rooms do not mix

 

Boss fights take way too long

               Graphics:  9.0
       This may be one of the best-looking 3D games on the system right now.

               Sound:  6.0
       I love the sound effects, but the music doesn’t do it for me.

               Control:  8.0
       It controls like every one shooter on the DS. My only complaint is that you have to tap an icon to duck. I’d rather double-tap a face button.

                      Gameplay:  8.0
       Dementium 2 will last you between five and ten hours, depending on your first-person shooter skills. It’s largely about finding keys and killing monsters, but it’s entertaining nonetheless.

 

       Lastability:  5.0
       Survival Mode is not my cup of tea, but I am inspired to replay the game (a third time). It’s also the kind of game you’ll want to show off to your friends. "Dude, look at how good this game looks!"

 

       Final:  8.5
       Certainly the strongest Southpeak game yet. Somebody needs to let these guys unleash their talent on a proper console game. I very much like Dementium 2, and now that I know how I should play it, I think I’ll enjoy it even more.      

[Make your own inappropriate joke here.]

14

TalkBack / REVIEWS: How to Train Your Dragon

« on: May 16, 2010, 12:13:30 PM »

Make your own inappropriate joke here.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=23089

 Dreamworks came out with a new movie. It’s about Vikings and dragons, I guess, and the realization that dragons can be tamed and used as mounts. I haven’t seen it. However, it’s clear that the DS game takes place after the conclusion of the film, since all of the Vikings have their own trained dragons. What are these dragons used for? Battling each-other  endlessly. This is fun in a mindless sort of way, but doesn’t rise to the challenge set by, say, Pokemon or even (dare I say it) Dino King.    

Players choose one of two characters, both heroes from the film: Hiccup and Astrid. This selection determines what kind of dragon you start with. I picked Astrid, which left me with a large blue Deadly Nadder. The second task is to customize your dragon’s look, which is an enjoyable process. Everything from teeth to spikes can be modified, though you cannot alter your dragon’s underlying geometry or switch “parts” to form some kind of stitched-together monstrosity, a la Spore. Yes, the dragons are 3D models, and look pretty good.  Once you’re happy with your dragon’s look, it’s time to start fighting other dragons. The premise of the game is to compete in dragon tournaments, find things for people, and craft better armor for your mount.    

Everything except armor creation involves battling. Actually, that’s not entirely true, because very often, the ingredients required to make whatever armor you want involves farming, which is synonymous with fighting other dragons. The game’s overworld “map” is literally a series of dots connected by paths. You just tap a location to make your avatar run over there. In non-city areas, you will be accosted by wild dragons at every turn. This becomes frustrating, because the battles last too long. There’s no “It’s super-effective!” here. Ice does not beat Flying, because those types don’t exist in the first place. Fortunately, you’ll rarely be lost, because the game handily displays a giant star over your next goal.    

Battles are inspired by, but differ significantly from,   Pokemon. Each dragon has a large moveset that, surprisingly, can be customized during the battle if you so choose. Most attacks involve using your teeth, claws, and spikes for melee strikes, though more powerful attacks bring elemental effects into the equation. Rather than assign an arbitrary number of uses to each attack (PP in Pokemon), battles are controlled by a regenerating bar. Each attack you use drains a certain number of ticks from the bar, and you can’t attack again until the bar regenerates fully. So, in a way, it’s often a race between you and your opponent to see who can get the next hit in quickest, which adds some tension to the matches. Additionally, most attacks feature secondary elements, such as poisoning, wounding, stunning, etc. These effects also stack (unlike Pokemon), so a wounded, poisoned opponent will be taking a lot of damage per round. The most useful ability is probably “slow,” which halves their power bar’s regeneration speed. The game has a solid foundation, but the lack of types leads to overlong battles and become tiring quickly. You can use items to regain HP, recover from status affects, and modify your stats.    

Unfortunately, there’s not a whole lot else to the game. Crafting armor is fun, though. After selecting the armor you want, you blow into the microphone (but not too hard!) to heat up the molten metal, then tip the pot containing liquid-hot magma into a mold. After that, you take a hammer to the block and smash it to uncover the piece of armor. You’re still not done: next, you have to polish the armor, and finally, draw a symbol on it. All of this is done under a time limit, of course, and how well you do determines the armor’s quality. Each dragon can have three pieces of armor—head, torso, and tail.    

The world map, which I mentioned above, is nothing more than a series of interconnected dots with paths between them. There is no gameplay aside from the dragon battles and armor forging. This is unfortunate, and will make you tire of the formula quickly. You will often be treated to a “cutscene” before certain events, which involves hastily-crafted polygonal models of the characters from the film, jabbering to each-other. This jibber-jabber involves voice acting, so that’s kind of nice, but you’ll want to move on, since the conversation inevitably leads to a battle. “Will you find my lost dragon, Astrid?” “Sure, kid. But first, I’ll kick it’s ass. That’ll learn it.”    

Oh, I forgot the overhead shoot ‘em up minigame. It’s atrocious and boring, and the hit detection isn’t clear at all. You move your dragon with the face buttons to move, and the L/R buttons to spit fire. I forget exactly what the point of the game is. I avoided it like the plague after playing it once. If the game does have a silver lining, it’s the fact that you can play with a friend via single-card download play and wireless multicard play. That’s a plus…I guess.    

I suppose my question is this: why buy How to Train Your Dragon when you can buy Pokemon   games on the DS instead? The Pokemon formula is successful because Pokemon does it very well. Most games that try to copy its success end up looking like sad pretenders out to make a buck. Dino King was an interesting exception, but most imitators—including this one—fail to justify their existence when the original is still the reigning champ.

Pros:
       

Local multiplayer

 

Armor forging is fun

 

Customizing your dragon's appearance is okay

       Cons:
       

The game runs out of tricks quickly

 

The horrible shoot 'em up minigame

 

Not very many dragons to train, even later in the game

               Graphics:  6.0
       There is nothing special about the overworld or cutscene models. The dragons themselves look alright, and make you wonder why Pokemon hasn’t just adopted 3D models for its battle system by now.

               Sound:  4.0
       Repetitious, especially since there are so few battle themes during the many battles that you partake in.

               Control:  8.0
       I like the touch screen minigames, and the battles are controlled much as they are in the most recent DS Pokemon games. Certainly nothing wrong here, although the forging can be a little finicky at times.

                      Gameplay:  4.0
       How many battles does it take before you’ve had your fill? Not a lot. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot else to do here.

 

       Lastability:  3.0
       You’ll have exhausted your patience for this one within about two hours, if not before.

 

       Final:  4.0
       What’s funny is if the overworld game were MORE like Pokemon, with lots of wandering and sub-questing, it would be a gripping success. I clearly can’t get enough pocket monster time in. But if you condense the game to just a bunch of fights? Not so great.      

[FINAL SCORES]

15

TalkBack / 2 in 1 Padded Puppet Pouch: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

« on: May 08, 2010, 06:05:24 PM »

http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/blogArt.cfm?artid=23043

  My wife called me yesterday. I was at the office, not doing anything particularly important, at the time. She informed me that I'd received a package in the mail from "CTA Digital," a company I'd not heard of. I told her to open the package, which she did. Inside, she found the "2 in 1 Padded Puppet Pouch," a stuffed...thing that doubles as a DS holder. She thought it was cute. I recalled our site director, Jon "Manbeam" Lindemann telling me I'd be getting a Puppet Pouch to review. I got home that night eager to see what this Puppet Pouch was all about. Upon gazing into its necrotic eyes, I was instantly terrified.    

What was this creature, begging for release? I cut open the box and out fell a creature that I instantly named "Zipperface" for reasons that will become obvious. In fact, Zipperface features two zippers: one that holds its giant mouth shut, and another that holds...things. I guess. Behold, Zipperface:    

 

   

You caught 2 in 1 Puppet Pouch! Would you like to give a nickname to your newly caught 2 in 1 Puppet Pouch? Yes. Zipperface. Zipperface was sent to Box 1 in Bill's PC!    

 

   

He likes bellyrubs. Notice the tiny, one might say "vestigal" limbs. There's also a loop for hanging him by his ass, I suppose. I think an actual tail would've worked better.    

 

   

He's very eager to please, that Zipperface.    

 

   

The "ventral" zipper opens to reveal a pouch for carrying...things. You could put DS games in there, your DS, or...you can put your weed in there.    

 

   

You know how starfish (and other echinoderms) puke up their stomach to cover and eat prey? Maybe that's what Zipperface does. In this case, he's slowly consuming my DSi, which he's compatible with, by the way. That's a major selling point.    

 

   

Keeping the DS in his ventral pouch actually gives some rigidity to his lower half and helps keep him standing up. Between the two zippers, there are velcro pads which split the poor creature in two, effectively breaking his neck. The reasons for this spinal separation are unclear.    

 

   

Now he's a bearskin rug. So, you know, if you're too cheap to go on a hunt on Kodiak Island, kill and butcher a Grizzly bear, then have it skinned and make a rug from its coat and head, this is a viable alternative.    

 

   

The inside of his mouth is bright red. Zipperface lacks teeth, though, so I still think he eats things via the echinoderm method (outlined above).    

 

   

There's a pocket on Zipperface's hard palette that can hold a spare DS card. That's handy. Zipperface is full of useful crevices like that. Notice the white elastic bands. The unassuming naturalist may assume that they have to do with a venom delivery system. Well, you couldn't be more wrong:    

 

   

In fact, the bands are used to secure the top half of the DS. You know, it strikes me that this may be an uncomfortable way to play my DSi.    

 

   

Hypothesis confirmed. Frankly, Zipperface fails as a DS "wraparound" but works alright as a system/game carrier for the younger set. The packaging suggests that his padded interior may provide some peace of mind against dropping your DS. This only applies if you drop Zipperface on his dorsal side. There is no padding on his lower half, unless you fill that ventral pouch with something similarly padded, or a DS-shaped piece of styrofoam. Technically, you could hold two DS systems in Zipperface, one in his stomach and one in his mouth, so that's a plus. Surely, Zipperface must fill some niche that other, better products fail to fill. And indeed, he does.    

 

   

Zipperface is an excellent game dog. Not only does he fetch objects with unbridled enthusiasm, but the fact that he doesn't have teeth (or jaw muscles) means that he won't damage the duck or duck that you just shot.    

 

   

Good, Zipperface. Sit, boy!    

   

Our primary dog, Ozzie, seems jealous. I didn't take pictures, lest little children become frightened, but Zipperface also makes an EXCELLENT chew toy.    

HORRIFYING ADDENDUM    

   

The purpose of the ventral zipper and velcro tabs now becomes clear. Zipperface really IS a puppet! His innards are hollowed out, and your thumb goes in the "lower jaw" while the rest of your hand rests comfortably above his hard palette. However, he's not the most comfortable puppet in the world, and his mouth is too wide. His limbs hang awkwardly from his back. It just looks strange, almost like an afterthought.    

FINAL SCORES    

As a DS Wraparound: FAIL
  As a system/game carrier: 7
  As a puppet: Creepy
  As a loyal companion: 9
 

16

NWR Forums Discord / I Can't Stop

« on: May 06, 2010, 07:19:59 PM »

I've been farting nonestop since I woke up. It's really wierd. And they're BAD ones, too. If a dog walked in here, it would immediately die. Our receptionist came in to give me a file. I think she was afraid.

[Everything old is new again, and it don’t get no better than this.]

17

TalkBack / REVIEWS: Mega Man 10

« on: May 02, 2010, 09:21:29 PM »

Everything old is new again, and it don’t get no better than this.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=23001

 I was just as surprised as you were when Capcom announced that Mega Man 9 would appear on WiiWare, complete with NES-era graphics and sound. ‘Twas an exciting announcement for Mega Man fans like me. The NES games have always held a certain sway, not just for their brutal difficulty, but also their streamlined design, brilliant level layouts, and wonderful characters. Mega Man 9 had all that stuff in spades—you may remember my review—but one could reasonably complain that developer Inti Creates made the game too hard given the vast amount of time that had passed since Mega Man 3, which was the last time a core Mega Man game was so difficult. Nobody expected Capcom to greenlight another entry in the series, but greenlight it they did—Mega Man 10 was recently released for WiiWare. While it tones down the difficulty a great deal, it also pays homage to the gimmicky level design and bosses that populated the later Mega Man games. In doing so, Mega Man 10 becomes a more accessible, but far sillier, kind of Mega Man game. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, of course.    

The game begins with the standard thin-as-paper plotline: a dangerous virus, Robotenza, has gripped Mega Man’s hometown. It’s so bad that Wily’s own robots have turned against him, and the evil doctor is forced to come to Dr. Light and Mega Man for help. He claims to have a device that will cure Robotenza, but needs Mega Man to collect the right ingredients for the potion. Ever the idiot, the heroic Blue Bomber agrees to help Wily and must defeat eight new Robot Masters to find the cure. Longtime fans may be flashing back to Mega Man X5 here, where X had to ask eight Robot Masters for bits of cures for the Sigma virus. And by “ask” I mean “kill.” Anyway, things unfold as usual and you’ll find yourself scaling Wily’s massive fortress (boy, where does he find the time to build these?) kicking the tar out of the Robot Masters.    

Mega Man 6 had such memorable bosses as Tomahawk Man and Yamato Man, and Mega Man 10 continues in that tradition with such fine examples as Strike Man (as in baseball) and Pump Man (who has an old well pump on his head). Can’t forget Blade Man, who reminds me of Guiron from the old Gamera movies, and Nitro Man—who must be cousins with Turbo Man from Mega Man 7. Their stages are equally gimmicky. In Strike Man’s stage, for example, you shoot and ride on rocket-powered soccer balls and avoid footballs flung from robotic ball bins. When wandering through Nitro Man’s stage, watch out for vehicles on the robot highway. The award for “craziest stage,” perhaps in all of Mega Man history, though, has to go to Sheep Man. This character, inspired by the short story Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick,is a sheep, see, that transforms into a storm cloud that rains lighting down. Brilliant. Sheep Man’s stage resembles that of Cyber Peacock to some extent (from Mega Man X4) and includes scrolling computer signals and evil mouse cursors.        The game is otherwise similar to Mega Man 9 and every other NES Mega Man game: using the right boss weapons in the right order is paramount to success, and you still can’t save during the Wily stages. However, Mega Man 10 take some significant steps forward in the replay department that Mega-fans will enjoy for their fanservice but will also make the game easier to get into for newcomers. The biggest change is the addition of Easy Mode, which decreases the number of enemies in each stage, increases Mega Man’s damage-dealing power, and—most importantly—puts platforms over many spike floors and bottomless pits. Even somebody who’s never experienced the serenity of Mega Man 2 will be able to beat Mega Man 10, although the move up to Normal mode might be an eye-opening experience!    

Also, Proto Man is available as a playable character right away instead of being DLC as he was in MM9. Proto Man has some moves unavailable to Mega Man, like the Mega Buster (charge shot) and a slide move. However, the tradeoff is that Proto Man takes twice the damage as his bluer brother. Mega Man 10 also includes new challenges to complete and plenty of time trials.       As for DLC, the game is no slouch. The most exciting addition is Bass, Mega Man’s rival in Mega Man 7 and 8. Bass gets a rapid-fire, multi-angle attack, at the expense of being able to move and shoot simultaneously. Bass is a great addition to the game and really makes you play differently. Almost as cool are the three new Time Trial stages which, aside from being viciously difficult at times, are lorded over by the famous “Robot Killers” from the old Mega Man Game Boy games. It’s unfortunate that these levels can’t be accessed as part of the main game, but they’re fun distractions nonetheless. Finally, just as in MM9, there is an “Endless Mode” which throws an endless level at you to see how long you can go before you die. It’s definitely the most tacked-on mode.    

In all, Mega Man 10 is probably a better game than its predecessor despite its easier difficulty setting (on Normal) and the fact that the developers tossed a grinding stage involving Mole drills in before Wily’s final form. Don’t groan—you’ll probably need it. The DLC is fun and actually game-changing, and I just can’t find fault with the production values. It’s clear that Inti Creates loves their Blue Bomber, and I applaud their prowess with the series. Now, let’s see them make the game where Wily builds Zero and Dr. Light builds Mega Man X!

Pros:
       

Classic NES style presentation

 

Brilliant level design and wonderfully gimmicky characters

 

More accessible to new Mega fans

 

Lots of fanservice

       Cons:
       

Still can't save during the Wily stages (on Normal and Hard, anyway)

               Graphics: 10.0
       The presentation absolutely steals the show. I was concerned with how Bass, previously seen only on the SNES, Saturn, and PSOne, would translate to the NES graphics. Well, I shouldn’t have worried.

               Sound:  9.0
       While the music isn’t as mind-blowing as MM2-4, it’s still absolutely wonderful. Some of the Wily castle tracks seem out of place, though. Still good, but not really Mega Man.

               Control: 10.0
       No complaints here, Mega Man 10 uses the polished NES style controls that are very responsive and easy to learn

                      Gameplay:  9.0
       In MM9, collecting bolts (I mean “farming” bolts) got old. Here, it’s not nearly as much of a concern, which I appreciate. Buying supplies from the shop is much more reasonable this time around. Finding the proper boss sequence is always the most frustrating part of any Mega Man game, and that’s no different here…somewhat unfortunately.

 

       Lastability: 10.0
       With tons of challenges, three characters, and multiple difficulty levels, there’s a LOT to discover in this classic Mega Man title.

 

       Final: 10.0
       Gotta give Mega Man 10 a 10, and not just because I gave Mega Man 9 a 9. Mega Man 10 really is the better game, and definitely worth your time and money, even if you’ve never touched the Mega Man series before.      

18

NWR Forums Discord / Halbred's Hunting Dinosaurs Thread

« on: April 13, 2010, 02:26:54 PM »

I used to do this back on GameInformer, but it never lasted. MAKE IT LAST, MINIONS!
 
Here's whatcha do: I shout out the name of a prehistoric critter (it will not always be a dinosaur) and you post one or two pictures (two max) that you find on the interwebs that you think look cool and/or accurate.
 
The winner gets a point. I will track the winners in every shout-out post.
 
Okay, got it? Ready? I hope everyone knows how to post a picture, 'cause I don't.
 
FIRST ONE: TYRANNOSAURUS REX
 
*bang*

[Where have you been all my life?]

19

TalkBack / REVIEWS: Cave Story

« on: April 08, 2010, 03:27:40 PM »

Where have you been all my life?
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=22875

 Cave Story began its life in 2004 as a freeware PC title developed by one man—Daisuke Amaya—and went on to garner critical acclaim for its unique story, art direction, and Metroid-style gameplay. Now, in 2010, the game has received new life on WiiWare, where it’s been refurbished with new game modes and updated graphics. As it’s a free game on the PC, one may wonder if a $12 WiiWare version is worth the increase in price. Don’t worry, it is.  Cave Story is one of the best WiiWare games on the service, and certainly worth picking up.    

Cave Story tells the tale of a robotic soldier with amnesia who becomes involved in a fierce island battle between the peaceful, rabbit-like Mimiga race and the evil Doctor and his sidekick, Misery. They are using dangerous Red Flowers to transform the Mimiga into rampaging monsters, and they plan on using the creatures to take over the world. You must battle your way through the creatures that live in the island’s various environments, defeating the Doctor’s robots and minions. Cave Story doles out surprisingly touching moments, and there are even a few player choices that affect the ultimate outcome of the game.    

The Metroid comparison is apt, but doesn't really communicate what Cave Story is about. You will rarely be traversing the same locations twice, for example. Heart Containers upgrade your overall health, and the hero can find upgrades and gizmos to make his journey easier, but in terms of Metroid-stye backtracking and finding new areas with new items, Cave Story veers far from that path.    

In fact, a better comparison would be something like Mega Man or Contra. Cave Story is basically a sidescrolling shooter; the hero has an ever-expanding arsenal of weaponry with which to lay waste to swaths of dangerous creatures. At first, you’ll only have a short-range laser gun, but within a few hours you’ll find yourself decked out with a missile launcher, fireballs, a bubble gun, and (maybe) a machine gun.    

Enemies drop hearts, missiles, and yellow shards. Shards upgrade your currently-equipped item, up to three levels. This is tracked with a handy yellow experience bar above your HP meter. Every time you get hit by an enemy or an attack, the bar decreases. You could make a comparison to Blaster Master here, but the penalty for getting hit isn’t quite as severe. Since a level 3 weapon will “max out” when its experience level essentially reacheslevel  4, a fully-powered weapon will not drop back to level 2 with a single hit.    

Jumping can be a little floaty and takes some getting used to, but there have been plenty of times where I’ve been thankful that it’s not more mechanical. Once you get used to the jumping, you’ll be hopscotching around the caverns like a pro. The hero can fire up and down, too. Some weapons have alternate uses aside from just shooting things that effect your movement directly. The brilliant level designs are built with the hero’s abilities in mind.    

Cave Story also has some surprising RPG moments. You’ll talk to a lot of people and wander through a few houses and villages, and cutscenes interrupt the gameplay now and then to move the story forward. At one point, I found myself looking for a woman’s four pet dogs, which were hidden throughout the level. Some were easy to find, but others were very difficult. Cave Story definitely rewards you for exploring every nook and cranny of each level with gadgets and heart tanks.    

The graphics are charmingly retro, even with their new coat of paint. The environments are colorful, and you’ll quickly forget that you’re stuck underground. Character portraits, which show up when NPCs are talking, are surprisingly emotive. One portrait shows an innocent young Mimiga girl becoming affected by the Red Flowers she was forced to eat. Her eyes are red, but her expression is frightened. It’s a surprisingly sad scene! Obviously, a lot of thought went into every individual character portrait, and that’s something I admire and appreciate.    

The music is incredible. It stands up to some of the best NES tunes, including the Mega Man games. Each level has a specific theme that will get your blood pumping, and the areas with subdued music convey exactly the emotion they’re supposed to thanks in part to the largely energetic music in other places.    

There’s very little to dislike about Cave Story, but there are a few sore spots. Boss encounters can be very difficult and last awhile; it’s important to know the situational uses of your different guns. For example, a fully-leveled bubble gun creates a bubble shield when you hold down the fire button, which can be useful for blocking enemy attacks. Even with this knowledge, it’s pretty clear that boss pattern memorization and quick reflexes are paramount to success. Lovers of twitch gameplay will be right at home, but those looker for a less challenging experience may get frustrated. There are also a few tiring fetch quests (find these three things, etc.)  that are never particularly fun, mainly because enemies respawn every time you enter and leave a room.    

Once you’ve finished the main quest (a few times to get all the endings), you can engage in a challenging boss rush, a time attack mode, and even play through the main game with secondary character Curly Brace. The main game itself is surprisingly long; just when you think you’ve beaten it, you realize you’re only halfway done! Furthermore, there are a lot of decisions you’ll have to make that will decide not only what ending you get, but what areas you can explore and what equipment you find! To experience the entire breadth of Cave Story requires multiple playthroughs. This is probably the best game I’ve played so far this year, and I’m betting you will love it, too.

Pros:
       

Phenomenal gameplay and level design

 

Wonderful storyline with interesting characters

 

Old-school charm

 

Multiple endings and game modes

       Cons:
       

Some boss battles are quite difficult

 

Fetch quests are kind of annoying

               Graphics:  9.0
       The world is colorful and vibrant, characters are expressive, and pixel-based particle effects are amazing. Have you ever seen explosions look this good in Mega Man?

               Sound: 10.0
       Cave Story features an absolutely brilliant soundtrack. Every level has its own catchy tune, and the sound effects are suggestive and often exciting.

               Control:  9.0
       The only bit that takes some getting used to is the fact that you press down to enter doors and interact with people and objects, rather than up. Controlling the hero’s actions is fluid and responsive, just the way it should be in a 2D platformer.

                      Gameplay:  8.0
       Aside from the above-mentioned fetch quests and some overly-difficult boss battles (including a terrifying boss rush), the gameplay is silky-smooth and polished to near-perfection. The additional game modes are also cool (I especially liked playing as Curly Brace).

 

       Lastability:  9.0
       Pretty insane, really. When you count all the game-altering decisions to make, secret areas to explore, endings to see, and game modes to experience, Cave Story delivers replayability in spades…and then some!

 

       Final:  9.0
       This is not just an impressive WiiWare game--it's an impressive video game, period. Despite its old-school sensibilities, Cave Story has been modernized enough so that it will entertain a wide swath of the gaming populous. As contributing editor Jonny Metts said: "Cave Story all over my face."      

20

Nintendo Gaming / Shantae DSi

« on: April 06, 2010, 09:12:01 PM »

Check out this awesome trailer!
 
http://kotaku.com/5511084/shantae-riskys-revenge-clearly-the-prettiest-thing-to-hit-dsiware
 
Having seen that, I'm reminded of an old Penny Arcade comic:
 
"It'll be so awesome when it doesn't get here."

21

Nintendo Gaming / Tatsunoko vs. Capcom

« on: March 29, 2010, 12:18:21 AM »

Any of you cats up for a night of Wii fighting goodness?
 
I'd like to set up a game night for tomorrow night or Tuesday night. I get home from work at 6 (Zachlaska time), and after changing out of my monkey suit, I can have it fired up in no time.
 
Post your Friend Code here if you're interested. Mine's 3867-9477-7677.
 
Just borrowed my brother's stick, and I wanna see if it improved my game!

22

NWR Forums Discord / Help Zach Gain Weight Thread

« on: March 29, 2010, 12:02:11 AM »

As most of you know, I have Cystic Fibrosis, a genetic disorder that, among other things, makes it difficult for me to gain weight.
 
But I really really want to gain some weight by the 9th! Like, maybe between five and ten pounds. I've already got a bunch of good fattening things lying around the house, including:
 
1) Pistachios
2) Twinkies
3) Girl scout cookies (Tagalongs)
4) Peanut butter wafer sticks
5) Butterfingers
6) Lots and lots of milk
 
Suggest things! Fattening things! YOU WILL PUMP ME UP (with food)!

[I can't quit you.]

23

TalkBack / REVIEWS: Pokémon HeartGold Version

« on: March 28, 2010, 01:08:39 PM »

I can't quit you.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=22810

 Zach: Pokémon was introduced to our country in 1998 with Red and Blue versions. Those games were actually remade for the Game Boy Advance in 2004 as FireRed and LeafGreen. The popular opinion was that Nintendo would remake the next games in the series, Gold and Silver, originally released in 2000.    

Neal: For some odd reason, I skipped every Pokémon game after the originals until Diamond and Pearl. After that, I went back and tried out some of the ones I missed, and while I didn't spend too much time with Pokémon Gold and Silver, all I heard was how it was one of the best in the series.    

Zach: Gold and Silver are largely responsible for bringing all the modern Pokémon concepts to fruition: a day/night cycle, Pokegear, male and female versions of the same Pokémon, breeding, Dark and Steel types, a move deleter, and separate stats for non-physical attack and non-physical defense. Breeding, of course, opened up a whole new world of strategy, and competitive training was suddenly more appealing to people with lots of time to burn. Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire, the only original Pokémon games on the GBA, introduced double battles, but it's hard to call that as much of a leap as Gold/Silver had over Red and Blue. Nintendo recently released Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver, the remakes of those revolutionary 10-year-old games. While the novelty has worn off by now, the games are still unbelievably fun to play, and really speak for the timeless appeal of collecting pocket monsters.    

Neal: Exactly. I think everyone has it wrong now, though, because Gold and Silver aren't the best games in the series anymore; HeartGold and SoulSilver are. The two games update one of the most ambitious titles in Pokémon history with a smooth interface and crisp graphics while retaining everything that made Gold and Silver so great. All the content from the originals is packed away inside these little cartridges of joy, and then some.    

Zach: Still, despite its similarities to Gold and Silver, it's pretty clear that this is Pokémon Pearl/Diamond/Platinum again. Requisite aesthetic changes are here, but the gameplay is, overall, identical to the previous DS iterations of the franchise. And that's fine, because I declared not long ago that Pokémon Platinum was the definitive Pokémon game. While I may never get the itch to "catch 'em all" as I did in Pearl, the core experience of fighting and leveling up a perfect team of six remains satisfying and enjoyable.    

Neal: It adds more than that, though. Now, a Pokémon will follow you on the screen for the majority of the time. You can talk to this Pokémon, bolster your friendship with them, and they even pick-up items from time to time. Another large addition is the Pokéathlon, which is a series of touch screen-based mini-games that test the skill of your Pokémon. It's not too engrossing, but it's a fun timewaster that allows you to purchase certain items. While these aren't major changes, they're pleasant additions. It's amusing seeing a Diglett follow you around, and it's entertaining to talk to a Gastly, especially when it does something goofy.    

Zach: It was nice to see old date-based Gold/Silver stuff with a new coat of paint, like the Bug Catching Contest, Pokémon swarms, and the reworked Safari Zone.    

Neal: Yeah. I especially like the Safari Zone. It seems more forgiving than in previous games, though the rarer Pokemon, like Murkrow and Larvitar, seem unusually hard to capture compared to every other Pokémon in there.  Zach: The big new feature here is the PokéWalker, a Pokéball-shaped pedometer that comes with every copy of the game. This is Nintendo's not-so-subtle way to get fat gamers off their couch-laden asses, and it works, sadly. You are introduced to the concept in the game itself, where you find yourself walking with the first Pokémon in your party at all times, bringing to mind Pokémon Yellow. The PokéWalker allows you to do the same in real life.    

Neal: It's very reminiscent of the pedometer in Nintendo's Personal Trainer: Walking, where I imagine the technology originated.    

Zach: It wirelessly connects to the DS game card, where you can transfer one Pokémon from a PC box into the device. Your steps are counted through the day, and at random intervals your Pokémon may find items. You can also play little random-chance games on the Pokéwalker, like Pokéradar, where you find a Pokémon (which changes based on the route you take at the beginning of the day) and play a thinly veiled version of ro-sham-bo to capture them. There's also Dowsing, in which you choose a random patch of grass and hope an item pops out. These items are often rare or expensive in the main game, like Guard Spec. or Stardust. You can hold onto three captured Pokémon and three items per walk. When you’re finished, just re-connect the Pokéwalker to the game card to import all the pocket monsters and items.    

Neal: As you walk, you gain Watts, which are used to unlock new paths, possibly gain a level for lower-level Pokémon, find items, and search for other Pokémon to capture. Each of the numerous paths includes a few different Pokémon to find, some of which can only be captured using the device. If you use it early on, you can find Pokémon that you wouldn't normally find in a game until much later. For example, I came across a Magby and an Elekid early on. Additionally, if you walk around without a Pokémon strolling with you, a random Pokémon might join you. It's not a game-changer, but it's a really neat little device that is well worth the $5 premium attached to the game.    

Zach: Definitely. It is insanely fun. I've got Sceptile in my pocket right now. Though I can't say much for the step accuracy of the device, that's hardly the point. Nintendo has suckered me into taking longer walks with my dog in the hopes of unlocking another route and catching a Sunkern or a Gastly.    

The main game offers little new content to players who have been Pokéfanatics from the get-go. In fact, it's surprising to see just how little the series has evolved in 10 years. We've all been playing Gold and Silver for a decade, in fact, and this remake just brings that irony to the forefront. Almost nothing has changed, and if anything, certain aspects of the game now frustrate even more given their ancient roots in the face of potential progression. My biggest complaint about the series is its strict adherence to Hidden Machines. These are overworld moves that you teach your Pokémon to progress in the game. Every new Pokémon game has stacked on more HMs, and the problem is that an HM move simply replaces what could be a useful slot in that Pokémon's repertoire. The fact that there are so many HMs that are required for progression is insane—you must either cripple half the Pokémon in your party by teaching them one or more HM moves OR create one or two HM "slave" Pokémon and drag them everywhere you go.  I'm subscribing to the latter method. I have no interest in teaching "Strength" to my Hitmontop, thank you, but my Bibarel is able to use four of the eight HMs necessary for travel in this world. If I'm to get any practical use out of Fly (the warp HM), I'll have to fully train a good Flying type. If I want to move effortlessly in the water—which requires three HMs—I'll have to make a second HM slave. Somebody will have to take the bullet, and the point is that my actual team will be down to four Pokémon, not six.  In the next game, I really do hope that Game Freak changes their asinine philosophy on HM’s. They simply get in the way at best, and cripple your team at worst.    

Neal: The HM stuff is the lowest it gets, though, and it isn't as bad as it was in Diamond/Pearl/Platinum. To me, these games are without a doubt the strongest in the series, as they are refined, familiar, and awesome. It will rekindle nostalgia for Gold and Silver in longtime players, while drawing in new or lapsed players just as easily. It's more than just a remake; it is the best Pokémon game to date.    

Zach: I agree and I absolutely love HeartGold/SoulSilver. The original games have always been my favorites, and these remakes are wonderfully well done. However, it is clear that the formula is showing its age, and I think it's time for a radical upheaval in the next iteration of the franchise.

Pros:
       

Addictive, timeless "gotta catch 'em all" gameplay

 

Pokéwalker is a fun addition

 

Excellent interface

 

Everything the originals had and then some

       Cons:
       

Gameplay additions more neat than necessary

 

HMs still suck

 

               Graphics:  8.0
       The games look identical to Pearl/Diamond/Platinum, which is fine by us. It's about time the Pokémon sprites did more than quiver during fights, though. Maybe some actual animations next time?

               Sound:  8.0
       The soundtrack is largely comprised of remixed Gold and Silver tunes, and some holdovers from Platinum. Interestingly, the random battle music is Zach's least favorite remix of that particular tune, just FYI.

               Control:  9.0
       The streamlined menu system is much appreciated, as is the simplified Pokégear tool.

                      Gameplay:  9.0
       Aside from the heavy reliance on HMs, there's nothing quite like Pokémon. An adorable, unassuming chocolate shell hides a complex, stat-driven gooey center, just like a Cadbury Egg.

 

       Lastability: 10.0
       This game is virtually endless, especially if you're trying to catch 'em all.

 

       Final:  9.5
       Previous mandates that Platinum was the definitive game have been reneged. HeartGold/SoulSilver are the best Pokémon games we've ever seen.      

24

General Gaming / Tecmo Heard My Plea

« on: March 22, 2010, 07:00:01 PM »

"Since I don't have an Xbox 360, I cannot furiously masterbate to the sexy DoAX girls."
 
 Tecmo, hearing the pitiful cry from its niche masterbatory fanbase, it releasing Dead or Alive: Paradise at the end of this month for the PSP. It will include a feature not seen in DoAX or DoAX2: the ability to take photographs of the girls.
 
The ESRB has called the game "creepy" and "perverted."
 
I call it heaven.

[The grainy, low-resolution version.]

25

TalkBack / REVIEWS: Myst

« on: March 12, 2010, 09:25:55 AM »

The grainy, low-resolution version.
 http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/reviewArt.cfm?artid=22752

 Everyone’s played Myst by now, right? It was originally released on the Mac in 1993, but has since appeared on just about every console or handheld since. It’s considered revolutionary for a number of reasons, including its slow pace, various puzzle elements, no threat of death or failure, and the richness of the game's world. Myst, on the DS or anything else, is a point-and-click adventure game—really just a series of   images—that challenges players with sequence-based and logic puzzles. Solving certain puzzles allows you to be transported to other locations, and puzzles solved in one location may affect the environment in others.    

Unfortunately, traversing the island and solving puzzles requires the ability to utilize high-resolution pictures. On just about every other version of Myst I’ve played (including on the iPhone), the pictures are bright and detailed, and it’s easy to make out every little detail on the screen. This is important, because very often, it’s the little details that you must investigate to proceed. On the DS, however, Myst looks grainy and low-resolution. I was especially surprised to find that a wall panel early in the game looked more like a splotch on the wall or a spot of light than what it was supposed to be. Another puzzle, involving changing the colors of different symbols, becomes a comical farce when the symbol towers blend right into the trees behind them. As you can imagine, this gets very frustrating very quickly. New Myst players most will suffer the most—with such bad resolution on the images and no existing memory of what to do next, I can easily see them turning the game off in frustration after an hour of aimless wandering.    

The game introduces a few new tools to aid the player along. The first is a map that displays the current location on the top screen. Unfortunately, the view is from quite far away, and its resolution is such that you can’t really tell what it’s showing. I found it to be a useless tool. The second, more helpful tool is a screenshot button. When you’re looking at something important, tap the screenshot button to project that image to the top screen. This is handy for solving puzzles, though you can only keep one screenshot at a time. Back in what I like to call “the day,” of course, we used a pen and paper to solve Myst's puzzles. This DS version also includes “Zip Mode,” which was integrated into Myst’s immediate successors. Zip Mode allows the player to skip around the island, though they may miss out on clues. The menu, displayed as a bar on the bottom of the touch screen, is intrusive. I would have preferred an icon that brought up the menu so that the view could be larger.    

The real crime is that Myst simply hasn’t aged well. It moves at a very slow pace, and the interface feels a bit clunky at times, especially when negotiating tight spaces (no, I wanted to look back, not to the side!). Myst’s descendants ultimately one-upped it at every turn. Riven (the sequel to Myst) improved almost every aspect of the game design, though the puzzles were harder.. The genre has since gone out of style due to its archaic trappings. But if you’re chomping at the bit to experience the granddaddy of first-person adventure games (and some would say, first person shooters), then I recommend finding Myst on any other system. The iPhone version is great. Just avoid this DS port, which makes Myst frustrating and ugly.

Pros:
       

Screenshot tool

       Cons:
       

Low-res, grainy presentation

 

Slow-moving, archaic structure

 

Some of the puzzles are frustrating

 

The new tools (including the screenshot tool) don't make the game any more playable

               Graphics:  4.0
       In a game where the small details play a big role in the gameplay, Myst on DS doesn’t just drop the ball—it hurls the ball far, far away. Is that a switch pedestal, or a brown block?

               Sound:  5.0
       Myst wasn’t known for its soundtrack, but what tunes and ambient noise effects are retained on the DS fail to impress. There will be strange instances where, say, rippling water sounds will be present on one area of the dock, but not another.

               Control:  3.0
       Without the visuals to back it up, Myst on the DS is very frustrating. Additionally, the core gameplay has not aged well, so you may find yourself getting bored without a FAQ by your side.

                      Gameplay:  7.0
       It’s all touch-screen based. Navigating certain areas can be frustrating, though I can’t tell if it’s a sensitivity issue or poor mapping.

 

       Lastability:  4.0
       Compared to every other version of Myst out there, and its descendants, there's very little reason to keep coming back.

 

       Final:  4.0
       There is no reason to buy this version of Myst while so many superior versions, and their sequels, are available for a cheap price.