"Eat my dust," Donkey Kong yelled as Rambi began to break ahead of the pack.
"This is the life," Donkey Kong thought to himself as Rambi trampled over some of Expresso's offspring. "Mario can have his kart racing. Donkey Kong Racing is where it is at. I can't think of a more fun game to play than this. Riding other animals is the pinnacle of racing."
Donkey Kong shielded his eyes from the sun and looked ahead. "Hey. Isn't that Expresso?" he asked, looking at an ostrich ahead of them.
"I think you're right," grunted Rambi. With that, Rambi ran faster in the direction of Expresso, his horn low and ready to gore.
However, Expresso was waiting for them. "Ban me from your sequels, will you? Pick on me, will you? It's time for a bit of revenge," Expresso cackled.
Just as Rambi was a couple feet, Expresso quickly dashed to the side. Rambi ran past the spot Expresso had just been standing at and suddenly Donkey Kong and Rambi found themselves falling into a deep pit. Expresso had camaflouged it to hide the trap.
After catching his breath, Donkey Kong came to his feet. He could hear Expresso cackling from the top of the hole he fell in. He could other the racers passing by overhead. "This blows!" DK bellowed, "I should be up their winning this race right now." With that, he began to slam the ground with his palms in anger. The ground all around him shook at the fury of his blows. However, this caused an object from high up the pit to suddenly shake free from its surroundings and fall where it hit DK on the head.
"Owwwww!" DK shouted, rubbing his head, "Is that you Rambi?" But he turned and saw Rambi still trying to free his head from the spot where he landed in the pit, his legs kicking up dust as kept struggling to pull his head free. "I guess not," DK mused. Then, he noticed a shiny object lying off to the side that looked like a piece of fruit. "It must have been this thing that hit me," Donkey Kong realized. He picked up and was going to hurl it against a wall when he heard a voice come softly from the object. Holding it to his ear, he heard it say: Wish. I grant you 1 wish. I grant you 1 wish.
Suddenly, at that moment, Rambi freed his head from the ground. The sudden force of his head popping back out of the ground caused him to stumble backwords and bump into Donkey Kong. This, in turn, caused Donkey Kong to fall over with the object flying out of his hands. The object smashed into a wall and immediately exploded into an explosion of light, blinding Donkey Kong. Once the light stopped, Donkey Kong blinked and rubbed his eyes to focus them again. He was startled to see Cranky standing in front of him.
"Cranky? How'd you get here?" Donkey Kong asked confusedly.
"I've always been here," Cranky answered angrily. He then whacked Donkey Kong on the head with his cane. "You're in my home, you numbskull. We had to pull you out of that cave and drag your ugly carcass all the way back here. What in tarnation are you doing in pits anyways? In my day, we avoided pits. They meant instead death and were bottomless." Cranky looked back at where Donkey Kong was lying. "Oh, how I miss those days."
"What happened to you?" asked Diddy Kong, coming up beside Cranky. "We saw an incredible light show come from out of the pit you were in and went back to investigate."
Donkey Kong groaned as his body ache and he tried to think back to what happened. "I don't know, little buddy. I found this shiny object that said it would grant me a wish but then Rambi knocked me over. I remember hearing it hit a wall and there was a flash of light but that's it."
"What's that? A shiny object that grants wishes. Are you sure?" Cranky asked, while hurrying over to a desk. He rumaged around on it until he found a picture and then shuffled back over to Donkey Kong. "Did it look like this?" he asked, pushing the picture into Donkey Kong's face.
"I think so," Donkey Kong said, pushing the picture from out of his face. "Yeah, that's it," he confirmed, now holding the picture back and getting a better view of it.
Cranky slapped a hand over his eyes. "I should have known. Only you'd be dumb enough to do something so stupid," he moaned.
"What's the matter, Cranky? What's so special about this trinket?" Diddy asked.
"That trinket," Cranky growled, turning around to face Diddy, "is the Crystal Kumquat! It is a source of great magic and power. Most likely the greatest source since it can grant any individual that holds it any one wish that they desire. With it, one could change the very universe most likely. Imagine. I could use it to make sure arcade game never went out of style and everything was still in pixels instead of this pre-rendered computer graphic design nonsense."
"We have to get that crystal then," Donkey Kong said, leaping out of bed, "and keep it from falling into the wrong hands."
Cranky whacked him on the head with his cane. "Yes, that would be the smart thing to do. Except you went and shattered it," Cranky explained exhasperatedly.
"Well, sorry," Donkey Kong answered, rubbing his head as the room swirled around him, "but I guess it solves the problem also. With it shattered, no one can use it."
"If it only it were that simple," Cranky moaned.
"What do you mean?" asked Donkey Kong.
"You'd better look outside," Diddy Kong answered.
Donkey Kong rushed over to a window and looked out of Cranky's cabin. He was shocked to see a crowd of people milling around outside. Some of the people were familiar and family like Funky and Swanky. But others were strange. He saw a human with a spray bottle as well as an older looking Japanese man with a bemused smile. He saw a Birdo creature as well as what looked like a younger version of himself rolling some barrels. "Is that me?" Donkey Kong asked.
"Don't be silly. That's me," Cranky answered, "That's you over there with the J on your shirt."
"Oh no," Donkey Kong groaned, remembering the days of being forced to wear that childish shirt, "How is this possible?"
"I'm afraid that by destroying the Crystal Kumquat, the resulting energy explosion has broken time and space. And if we don't find a way to fix it, it will most likely lead to the destruction of our universe as time paradoxes begin to increase exponentially," Cranky mused. He looked over to Donkey Kong and Diddy and saw their confused faces. Cranky sighed. "You have to put the Crystal Kumquat back together to contain its magic power and thereby fix everything."
"Oh. Why didn't you say so? C'mon little buddy. Let's go and find these crystal pieces," Donkey Kong said.
"Right on," Diddy replied, highfiving him.
"You're going to go out searching for some crystal pieces?" Cranky asked.
"Yeah. Something wrong?" Donkey Kong asked, sick of Cranky always berating him.
"No. I think it's a great idea. Definitely a much more worthy cause than say finding a missing banana horde. I was just wondering.... I mean, since you're going to be out traveling anyways....." Cranky stammered, "Well, do you think you could pick a little something up for me?"
Donkey Kong and Diddy glanced at one another and then shrugged the shoulders. "Alright, we get you something. What do you need?"
"I thought you'd never ask," Cranky laughed delightedly. Then he took out a list from his deck. "You can consult the picture on top to see what to be on the lookout for."
Donkey Kong stared at the list with his mouth hanging open. "You want all of this?" he whispered.
"Well, yes, times 50," Cranky answered.
Donkey Kong let out a pained scream. "50 0f each?" He turned to Diddy. "Run," he ordered. Then the two of them took off into the jungle as fast as they could. Cranky coughed from the dust they kicked up as the raced out his cabin.
"Hey! He called out. You dropped the list! Hey. Get back here, " he cried but it was too late. They were long gone.
And with that, the adventure began.
However, as word spread about what had happened, a group of individuals got together and formed a small band. They were determined to see to it that they were the ones who would wind up with the Crystal Kumquat to use its power for their own benefit. They made a pact that they would let no one stand in their way of obtaining this ultimate prize. The race was on!
Who will wind up victorious? It's time to find out as we begin these Jungle Hijinks. Day 1 begins now!
Topic: Mafia XXXVI: Donkey Kong. Day 1. Jungle Japes (Read 35144 times)
